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*****
To whom it may concern,

I met Brian Littrell when I was fifteen years old. If I had known back then what an important role Brian would come to play in my life, I probably would have treated him better. As it stands, Brian and I have had a rather tumultuous relationship. There have been times when I’ve hated him, and there have been times when I’ve wanted to be just like him. That being said, I can’t remember a time when I could honestly say that I didn’t love him.

Brian is the type of guy who’s always there when you need him. He’s also the type of guy who’s always there when you have no idea just how much you need him. He’s picked me up and dusted me off more times than I can count. He’s been my friend, my guardian, and my brother. He’s taught me what it means to be a husband and a father. He’s been one of my primary sources of inspiration, even though he doesn’t know it.

Baylee belongs with Brian; he deserves to know what it feels like to grow up with someone who truly cares. I’m not saying that Baylee’s mom is incapable of providing him with a safe home. No, what I’m saying is that Brian is capable of giving his son so much more than a place to live. Brian will give his son everything that he gave me; trust, hope, forgiveness, family, and purpose. What would Baylee’s life be like if he were to be taken away from Brian? That’s simple; his life would be empty.

Sincerely,
Alexander James McLean

*****
“Dammit, AJ.” Kayla hastily wiped a stray tear from her cheek. She finished transcribing the letter and hit ‘save.’

The envelope, addressed to her and containing AJ’s return address, had been sitting on her desk when she had arrived at the office a little before eight o’clock in the morning. It had taken Kayla two cups of coffee and three hours of procrastination before she had finally managed to summon the courage to open it. After Howie’s emotional plea and AJ’s heartfelt acknowledgement of his troubled past, Kayla was actually dreading the day that Nick’s letter would arrive. Thankfully, Kevin wasn’t allowed to submit a character reference because he and Brian were directly related; at least Kayla would be spared one emotional disaster.

“Are you okay?”

Kayla looked up to find Peggy staring at her in concern. Peggy had pushed her glasses down onto the tip of her nose, and she was watching Kayla as though she were about to shatter into a billion pieces.

“Are you crying?”

“No.” Kayla shook her head. “I just got a little emotional over this letter.”

“The one from McLean?” Peggy pushed her glasses back up onto the bridge of her nose. “It was somewhat touching.”

“Yeah.” Kayla acknowledged. “Somewhat.”

Peggy looked long and hard at the younger woman sitting across from her. “You can’t become emotionally invested in these cases.” She cautioned. “It will only lead to trouble. Trust me.”

“I’m not emotionally invested in any of our cases.” Kayla lied. She could feel her heartbeat increasing as she spoke. What if Peggy suspected that there was something going on between her and Nick? What if the veteran caseworker had somehow figured out that she had been spending time with the boys outside of work?

Peggy pursed her lips and sat back in her chair. “You should be getting ready to leave. Your taxi will be here any minute.”

Kayla glanced at the clock on her computer. Peggy was right. She was scheduled to leave the office in less than ten minutes. The taxi would take her to pick Liliana up from daycare and then the two of them would be shuttled to the airport. Kayla couldn’t believe that the day had arrived; it had seemed impossibly far away when Peggy had first told her that she would be the one conducting the assessment in Montreal.

The butterflies were flapping wildly in Kayla’s stomach as she busied herself with making sure that she hadn’t forgotten anything. She double checked to make sure that she had remembered to grab both her passport and Liliana’s before she shut down her laptop and crammed it into her carry-on bag. Her hands were shaking as she tossed her phone into her purse and slipped into her coat.

“Here.” Peggy handed her an envelope of papers and smiled encouragingly. “These are all of the forms that you need to fill out. Make sure you read them all beforehand, so that you know what to look for.”

“Thanks.” Kayla accepted the envelope from Peggy and added it to her carry-on bag. “Are you sure that you don’t want to go? I’m sure your hip could hold out for another few weeks.”

“You’ll be fine.” Peggy soothed. “You know what you’re doing.”

Kayla sighed. If only Peggy were privy to the real reason that she was dreading the whole experience. “Well, good luck with the surgery. I’ll give you a call when I get back to see how you’re doing.”

“You’re a doll.” Peggy grinned, looking at her watch. “Now go!”

A little over two hours later, Kayla was standing in the airport surrounded by chaos. There were people everywhere, pushing and shoving and rushing to catch their flights. Every single person who hurried past her had a phone glued to their face, and every single person looked royally pissed off that she was trying to juggle a carry-on, her purse, and a screaming baby.

Liliana was having a complete meltdown because the too-loud, too-rude security agent had decided to wake her up from a sound sleep. Kayla had never felt so stressed out in her life. By the time she approached the gate, she was feeling more than ready to pack the whole thing in and go home. Liliana was refusing to walk and her arm was burning from supporting her weight. Kayla couldn’t believe that she hadn’t realized that she would be forced to check the fold-away stroller with her luggage. When the lady behind the desk had asked her to fold it up and put it on the scale, Kayla had thought that she was kidding. Needless to say, she had developed a new level of respect for every single parent who had ever made the asinine decision to take their child on an airplane.

“Lily, please calm down.” Kayla begged. She looked into her daughter’s tear streaked face and sighed. If Liliana didn’t pull herself together in the next few minutes, her daughter wasn’t going to be the only one who was crying.

“You look like you need some help.”

Kayla turned her attention away from her daughter at the sound of Brian’s voice. She had never been so happy to see a familiar face in her entire life.

Sensing Kayla’s desperation, Brian immediately reached for Liliana and pulled her into his arms. Liliana continued to wail incessantly in Brian’s face as Kayla shook out her arm in an attempt to regain her circulation.

“Lily? Lily, why are you crying?” Brian gently wiped Liliana’s tears away with his thumb and cradled her head against his chest. “It’s okay. I’m gonna make it all better.”

Kayla smiled at Brian’s last statement and breathed an immense sigh of relief as Liliana’s cries began to peter out into sniffles. Her tear soaked hands curled around Brian’s sweatshirt, pinching the fabric. She pushed her face into his chest, her remaining tears dripping haphazardly onto his shirt.

“Sorry.” Kayla apologized. “The security guard practically manhandled her and she lost her shit.”

“Don’t apologize.” Brian chuckled. “I’ve been here and done this already. I know what it’s like to travel with a baby.” He began walking back in the direction of the gate where Baylee was waiting; slumped in a chair staring at his iPhone.

“Where’s everyone else?” Kayla asked, scanning the crowd.

“They’re going to meet us there.” Brian explained. “There was no point in everyone coming back to Kentucky. We no longer have the rehearsal space, so the rest of the fellas went home for a couple of days.”

“Oh.” Kayla paused. “Even Nick?”

Brain gave her a look that she couldn’t quite decipher. “Nick had some – some stuff that he needed to take care of in Tennessee.”

Kayla nodded as their flight was announced. She had spoken to Nick the night before, so she knew that he was in Tennessee coordinating the removal of his things from Lauren’s house. He had suggested that he was going to try and return to Kentucky so that they could be on the same flight, but things clearly hadn’t worked out the way that he had planned.

“He mentioned that he was ... moving.” Kayla admitted. They joined the line to board the plane and Kayla quickly pulled the boarding passes out of her purse. She glanced at Brian who was still holding Liliana, his carry-on, and Baylee’s carry-on. “Do you want me to take her?”

“She’s almost asleep.” Brian shook his head. “There’s no point in disrupting her now.”

“Can I use my phone on the plane?” Baylee spoke for the first time since Kayla had arrived.

“You know that you’re not allowed to use your phone on the plane.” Brian reproached. “Turn it off.”

Baylee scowled and hurriedly typed out one final text message before powering off his phone. He shoved the device into the pocket of his jacket and plucked his boarding pass out of Brian’s hand without another word.

“As you can tell, Baylee’s super excited to be going to Montreal.” Brian rolled his eyes as he handed his own boarding pass to the woman at the gate.

Kayla had never flown first class. Her expression must have registered her fascination with the amount of room between her knees and the seat in front of her because Brian let out a soft chuckle as they got ready for takeoff.

“The leg room’s nice isn’t it?”

“It is.” Kayla conceded. She wasn’t exactly tall; 5’7’’, but the extra room was definitely a luxury that she hadn’t been expecting.

“Do you think that she’ll sleep through takeoff?” Brian nodded at Liliana who was now slumped in Kayla’s lap, fast asleep.

“I hope so.” Kayla shrugged. “I’ve never taken her on a plane.”

“Takeoff still scares the shit out of me.” Brian admitted. “Even after twenty years of flying all over the world.”

“Then maybe you should be paying more attention to the safety demonstration.” Kayla teased. She turned her attention away from the flight attendants who were busy showing everyone how to inflate the hideous emergency life-jackets and glanced at Brian. He was staring back at her with a goofy look on his face, completing ignoring the safety orientation.

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve seen this?” He laughed. “Believe me, none of this is going to help if we burst into flames during takeoff.”

“Thanks for sharing that lovely image.” Kayla’s face fell. She looked quickly at Baylee who already had his iPad out and his headphones lodged firmly in his ears. He was completely oblivious to what was going on around him, including to his father’s morbid comments.

“Sorry.” Brian offered as the plane rumbled to life. He leaned his head back against the seat and squeezed his eyes shut. “I fucking hate this part.”

Kayla followed Brian’s lead and pressed her back into the softness of the seat. She had never even considered takeoff to be the worst part of the flight, and she mentally cursed Brian for putting the negative thought in her mind.

As the plane picked up speed on the runway, Kayla instinctively reached for the armrest. Without warning, Brian reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. Kayla watched as their fingers curled together, all her fears of ending up in a burning pile of rubble were forgotten. Her pulse was pounding in her ears as the plane lifted off of the ground and began to level off.

Brian opened his eyes as soon as the plane fell steady. He rubbed his thumb gently across Kayla’s knuckles and gave her a sheepish smile. “See? It freaks me out.”

“You did warn me.” Kayla grinned. She stole a quick look at Liliana who was still fast asleep on her lap. “Apparently, Lily is braver than you are.”

“Apparently.” Brian repeated. His thumb continued to graze her knuckles as he spoke. “So, what’s the deal? Are you technically working right now?”

Kayla hesitated. She stared down at her hand that was still intertwined with Brian’s. Regardless of whether she was on the clock or not, she had no way of justifying the feelings that were coursing through her. Nick’s face flashed into her mind and she quickly untangled her fingers from Brian’s.

“I’m sorry.” Brian stuttered. “I don’t – I don’t know why I asked that.”

“It’s okay.” Kayla tried to laugh off her feelings. “I’m sure that Nick will ask me the same question the second that I see him.”

“Yeah.” Brian forced a smile onto his face. “I’m sure that he will.”