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Chapter Twenty-Four


Jaymie

“Well Kevin’s gonna be pissed, but my mother did something like this to me once and I know how it feels,” Nick said, coming back into the hotel room less than an hour after he’d left it. He hadn’t even made it all the way to the rehearsals. He pulled out his cell phone and stared down at it as he came to a stop at the end of the bed.

“She did?” I asked, looking up at him. I felt sick and I’d started crying at the first ring when I’d called him.

“Yeah,” Nick said, “She got rid of my pug, Willie…” He put the phone to his ear and turned away, facing the wall, which he leaned his palm against and put his weight on his arm. “Hey Kev? It’s me. Listen, I’m sorry, but I ain’t gonna be at the rehearsal. Can you tell the fellas?” He paused, then glanced back over his shoulder at me. “Something came up is all.” He paused. “No, dude, it’s not like that… I know I have her with me, and her name is Jaymie, by the way, but no it’s not that.” He turned back to look at the wall. “Dude, something came up, that’s all. Just tell the fellas something came up and I’ll see y’all at the soundcheck at three.” He hung up the phone.

My mouth felt dry. Nick sighed. “He thought you were blowing it off for sex, didn’t he?”

Nick turned around, “Shows what he knows.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time you did that,” I pointed out.

Nick shrugged. He came over and sat beside me on the bed and stared at the screen where I’d left the list of shelters up. He scrolled up and down the list of 76 hits. “Well some of these are specific types of animals, there’s a few just for cats… this one’s exotic animals. We can narrow this down… There’s duplicate listings…” He murmured. “Once we figure out what shelter he’s at, I can call Chris and have him go pick him up.”

“So what are we gonna do? Call every single one of them?”

“‘Til we find him,” Nick said.

“That’s like a million dollars in calls,” I pointed out.

Nick looked at me, “There’s not really a price you put on family members,” he pointed out. “You do what you gotta.” He smiled, “Besides, I’m footing the bill, why’s it matter to you how much in phone calls we make?”

“I’m just saying…”

“Well don’t worry about it,” he said. He scrolled through the list of shelters again. “Okay, look, here we’ll start here.” He dialed a number and held the phone to his ear. While he waited for someone to pick up, I got up and started pacing the length of the room, my hands shaking. I felt sick with nerves. What if Nick couldn’t find him? What if Rusty had been put down or something? What if --- A million what ifs went through my head, none of them with any real answer until I reached what if I didn’t have Nick to call for help?

Nick grabbed a notepad and pen from the drawer of the nightstand and I watched as he scribbled down some numbers. He looked up at me as he hung up. “Jaymie,” he said, “Stop pacing.”

“I can’t help it,” I said.

“You’re making me nervous doing that,” he commented.

“Well I’m nervous.”

“Well be nervous sitting, then,” he said. Then he added, “Besides, you’ve got awhile before you’re gonna get any answers.” He held up the notepad. He’d written down a series of numbers: 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2.

“What’s that? Your guess for the lotto number?”

“Timezones,” he replied. “It’s two in the morning in LA right now.”

I dropped onto the second bed and stared at him. “Seriously?”

Nick nodded. “Yeah.”

“Shit.” I sat down and covered my eyes in frustration. No wonder my father had wanted to get me the fuck off the phone. It was the middle of the night.

“We can call after dinner, ‘round six or seven… that’d be like… nine or ten there,” he said, looking down at the numbers he’d written. “The shelters will be just opening.” He put the notepad down and closed the lid of my computer. “I’m sorry your dad’s a dick,” he said point blank.

“Me, too,” I mumbled.

Nick got up and came over and sat beside me and wrapped one arm around my back. “Yanno, I never realized how much we really do have in common ‘til we started talking recently. It’s funny we ended up stuck together even without getting personal, huh?” He rested his cheek against my shoulder. “And I’m sorry it took so long.”

“Me, too,” I said.

“And also that it had to be like this,” he added.

I nodded.

He felt warm and the nerves I had about Rusty started to melt away. I closed my eyes and let him comfort me. I couldn’t picture life without Nick in it anymore. It just didn’t make sense without him. I couldn’t remember life without him.

You felt that way once about Daniel, my subconscious whispered. And look, life moves on, doesn’t it?

I turned and buried my face into Nick’s shoulder. I was tired of moving on, though.

I wished he could feel the things I felt, just to know how desperately I needed him to get the treatment and get better. Brian had better be right, Nick had better make the right choice, I thought.

“I really glad that we got here somehow, though,” I said into his muscles.

He was quiet for a long moment.

“Do you need to go to rehearsals now?” I asked.

“You should come,” he suggested. “We can go with the fellas and get food after,” he added.

I shook my head, “The fellas hate me.”

“Nawh,” he said.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“Brian doesn’t hate you,” Nick pointed out.

“I guess not,” I answered, though a little reluctantly.

“And neither does AJ,” he added.

“It’s awkward, but he doesn’t hate me, I guess,” I conceded.

Nick smiled, “Howie doesn’t hate anyone. Howie doesn’t even hate the hate gene.”

“I haven’t talked much to Howie before,” I admitted.

“And Kevin hates everyone, it ain’t just you,” Nick said with a smirk. “So see? No reason not to come along with me. It’ll be great. We’ll do that, get some food, do the VIP/Soundcheck thing, then we’ll come back here before the show, make some calls and find Rusty, then I can send Chris over to get him, and we’ll go to the show and everyone’ll live happily ever after. You can’t get a better laid plan than all that,” he said.

I laughed in spite of the nervousness in my stomach. “Okay,” I agreed.

Nick smiled, “Excellent.” He whipped his cellphone back out and I watched from his shoulder as he texted Kevin, telling him he’d be there in twenty minutes. “Go get dressed,” he said, “Unless you’re going like that?”

In all the anxiety about Rusty, I’d completely forgotten that I was still only wearing the bra and panties I’d worn into the shower the night before.

“Yeah. No.”

“I mean I won’t complain…” Nick grinned.

“Hush,” I said, and I got up and got my clothes from the suitcase.

“You look good!” he called after me as I closed the bathroom door.





Nick

I could tell Jaymie was still anxious about Rusty and also about being around the fellas. I knew she kind of was right about the guys not really liking her and that made me feel bad. I wanted them to like her, especially now, because… well, I guess part of me felt like maybe she wouldn’t be alone after I… if I… you know. I just wanted everyone to be okay, and if they liked her, then maybe Jaymie would have a place in the same make-shift family I’d landed in after running away from my blood.

A big part of that anxiety melted when Brian waved enthusiastically at us as we came in the door. “Hallo!” he shouted, his voice echoing throughout the empty auditorium. He grinned.

“Is he saying hi to me?” Jaymie whispered.

“Seems to be,” I whispered back and I grabbed her hand, “I’m telling you, the guys ain’t as scary as you think they are.”

“I don’t think for no good reason,” Jaymie hissed, “It’s from experience.” She flashed Brian her brightest smile, “Hey!”

AJ, Howie and Kevin all three were looking at Brian’s back like he had seven heads sprouting from his spine as he jumped down off the side of the stage and gave Jaymie a hug and me a high-5. AJ looked at Howie and I saw his mouth form the words what the fuck? and Howie shrugged in response.

“Hey guys,” I waved. “Nice seeing you while I’m vertical again,” I joked. Last time I’d seen all of them together I’d been flat on my back on my way to the hospital.

“Yeah it is,” Kevin said, still staring at Brian in surprise as he pointed out a seat to Jaymie and ran back to the steps of the stage. Kevin’s eyebrows knit together questioningly, asking without saying a word outloud.

Brian smiled as though he didn’t register the look Kev was giving him. “C’mon Nick, get up here and rehearse with us,” he demanded, then promptly threw himself into a handstand and attempted to do some of the dance steps to All I Have To Give upside down.

Kevin pushed his feet down to the floor, tipping him over.

It was a tiring hour and a half, and I was glad that I’d made it to do the rehearsal. I’d forgotten a lot of the steps in the time I’d been away and it was good to get a refresher before there were thousands of people staring at me and scrutinizing my every move. Which they’d be doing even more than usual, seeing as last time I’d been on stage I’d dropped nearly-dead halfway through the show. Jaymie watched from the seat Brian had shown her, and the couple times I glanced over, her eyes following us, mesmerized as any fan might’ve been in the same situation.

“She hasn’t taken her eyes off you, dude,” AJ mumbled at one point while I was tugging my guitar strap over my head for the acoustic set. “Like legit that chick is fucking into you. More than before.” He picked up a bottle of water and a towel from the top of one of the amp storage boxes that lined the stage. “Something going on there?”

I shrugged.

AJ grinned, “There is, ain’t there? Are you finally making her a decent woman, my man?”

“A decent woman?”

“You know, lovin’ on her properly, not just ‘cos you like bein’ the beast with two backs?”

“There is nobody that’s as poetic as you when it comes to euphemisms, you know that, AJ?” I asked, rolling my eyes, “Jesus.”

“What? That’s Shakespeare, man,” he argued. “For real, dude.”

“You’re fulla shit,” I said. “And… I dunno what me and Jaymie are doing to be honest. I mean, we’ve been talkin’ about it and… I dunno. There’s like feelings, but…” I shrugged. I didn’t know how much Brian had told the other guys, and if they didn’t know, I didn’t really want to tell them about the tumor.

AJ glanced back at Jaymie, then at me. “Feelings, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Do you love her?”

“I dunno,” I answered.

“Does she love you?”

“She said she did, on the plane over here…”

AJ smirked, “I heard about the Mile High Club.” His eyes twinkled evilly. “So wait, you fucked her in an airplane toilet and then she said she loved you?”

“Yeah, basically.”

“What’d you do?”

“Run like fuck back to my plane seat, where I was glared at by nuns.”

AJ raised an eyebrow, “You didn’t say it back?”

“I wasn’t sure I felt it.”

AJ made a hand gesture, “Do you now?” he asked.

“I -- I dunno. Kinda, maybe. But there’s… there’s stuff that makes it complicated, and…” I shrugged again.

AJ took a long sip from his water bottle, staring at me with incredulous eyebrows.

“Are you ladies joining us out here or what?” Kevin called from his seat behind the little keyboard he used during the acoustic set.

“Yeah, my wood’s getting heavy ‘cos it’s so big,” Howie joked with a wicked grin.

AJ looked at me, “You get your shit together and tell that girl you fuckin’ love her. ‘Cos you do. It’s in your face.” AJ walked away to his place on the stage. "Of course your wood's gettin' bigger D, you're waiting for me to come over there and that turns you the fuck on you pervert..."

"You ain't causin' me no wood, J," Howie said back.

I walked over to my stool, tuning the guitar as I went.

Brian glanced over as I sat down. “Everything okay?”

I nodded, “Sure is.”

“Okay cool.” He grinned, then turned back to his own guitar. I looked out at Jaymie, who waved and smiled up at me. I smiled back, then put my fingers on the strings and began to play the opening chords of Madelaine.