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Chapter Thirty Nine

June 26,1998

Orlando, Florida

“In breaking news, Backstreet Boys Brian Littrell and Nick Carter have been arrested after a fight occurring at a medical complex in Orlando, Florida. Sources report that no other people were involved. The band is on hiatus awaiting Brian’s recuperation from heart surgery on May 8. It’s not known what provoked the fight, but Carter was seen with a busted lip and black eye. Is the band headed for a break-up? “Everybody, stay tuned to MTV for all the latest. This is VJ Toby Amies for MTV News.”

The Orange County Jail is probably the grossest place I have ever been in. I’m sitting as far away from a drunk chained to one of the benches. He’s peed himself no less than three times in the past two hours.

In the other corner a drugged out hooker is slumped in a chair, her bangled arm hanging limply towards the floor. Every few seconds she snorts, looks wildly around, and then sinks back down into zombie-like position.

If I hadn’t needed a new OBGYN before, I needed one now. It had taken two uniformed police officers to break up the fight between Brian and Nick. Nick had not only a busted lip and black eye, but he also had a pretty nasty cut on his eyebrow from where Brian smacked his giant cross necklace against him trying to get him into a hole. Brian’s face was unharmed, but I hadn’t liked the look of the blood on his shirt. All I could picture were dozens of ripped stitches and his heart falling out right onto the ground.

I got up and got a Diet Coke from the pop machine. I wiped the can well on my shirt before opening it. The babies seemed to be playing a game of ping-pong behind my belly button. I tell myself not to complain. Movement is good.

The unknown of what happened the first time is haunting me. I don’t know why Nick remembers so much more than I do, but the fact that neither of us know what happened between February and September bothers me. Had baby girl Littrell never existed? Had she existed and died? Had I even gone for prenatal care? I had received a lecture the first time Nick and I had gone to Dr. Hassel for waiting so long. Had I waited until it was too late?

Was there a chance that I could bring two living babies into the world?

These were the heavy thoughts rolling around in my head as I sipped the Diet Coke that was two days away from expiration.

I was watching a rerun of Singled Out with Carmen Electra when Leighanne arrived. I almost spit out my last sip of my fizzy cola as I see her walk right up to the front desk.

In person, she’s gorgeous. Long blonde hair and a face with tiny, well-placed features. She’s crazy tan and perfectly dressed. Even her frazzled look is composed.

She’s a barbie doll.

In contrast, I am Violet Beauregarde after she ate the blue gum. My highlights are faded, my top is tent-like and my pants are holding up because of ample elastic. My feet are shoved into a pair of old flip-flops that I’m pretty sure I’ve carried from place to place since high school.

“I’m here to post bail for Brian Littrell,” she says breathlessly. The guy behind the desk almost blushes.

“Littrell and Carter’s bond hearing isn’t for another half hour. After that you can post. If you could have a seat…”

I watch the guy walk around the desk. He touches Leighanne’s elbow and points her towards the bench closest to me. I watch incredibly as he takes off his jacket and lays it down for her to sit on. I’m not sure he even looked up when I walked in.

Leighanne looks around, her blue eyes wide. She rubs her arms like she’s freezing and glances at the TV.

Then she looks at me.

It’s my fault really. If my brain cells were working adequately, I wouldn’t be gawking at her. But not, I had to get a play-by-play…

“Did you see them bring in a good looking dark blonde guy?” she asks me.


“Broad nose, bangs, kinda curly hair…”

I remember what Nick said. Last time I didn’t escape Leighanne’s wrath with all my hair in tact. With the worst acting skills in the world, I pretend to think.

“I think so…”

She lets out a little cry. “He’s my boyfriend. Did he look okay?”

I wanted to tell her that he looked a helluva lot better than Nick, but that would have opened up a whole mess of questions that I didn’t want to answer. “He looked okay,” I nod.

Leighanne dabs at her eyes and sits back. Again, she looks around, taking in the never-ending pee-er and the hooker. Then she’s back to me.

“When are you due?”

“November 13.”

“Do you know what you’re having?”

My heart squeezed painfully. “Twins.”

Leighanne smiles. “Twins? How exciting! Twins run in my family.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, I’m sure that Brian and I will have a couple sets of twins. He wants a large family. A baseball team,” she laughs, a pretty little laugh. Ugh, it’s no wonder they ended up together. “Are you having twin boys? It looks like you might be carrying boys.”

I lick my lips. After a whole Coke, they shouldn’t be this dry. “One of each.”

She gives me an even brighter smile. “That’s awesome! Is your husband excited?”

I think it’s at that point that she realizes where we are again. Her brows furrow and she glances behind me. “Or is he--”

“I’m not married.”


The ‘ohh’ is so southern traditionalist that it makes me want to protect myself from the invisible pit of hell that opens up in front of me.

“Total whoops,” I add. God. Am I…..enjoying this conversation?

“A whoops?”

“Me and this guy got totally hammered,” I roll my eyes. Maybe I am a little bit of an actress. I’m Alicia Silverstone in Clueless. “You know...one thing leads to another...you bump and grind to The Train and…” so help me, the power of Nick makes me do what I do next. I form a hole with my fingers and shove the pointer finger of my other hand in and out.

I think Leighanne’s going to die.

“Oh my--”


We both turn to look at the front desk guy. He’s holding a sheet of paper.

“They got themselves bonded out.”

Leighanne bounces up and I do the clumsily not-even-that-pregnant-but-still-pregnant-enough stand-waddle. I think about heading outside and just waiting for Nick, but before I can take a step, Brian’s walking out. He still looks madder than a bull and for some reason, probably my extra girth, he only sees me.

“Court, you can’t stay with him. He’s a mad-man. I’m not going to let you deal with him. It’s not good for my babies. You can come home with me.”

The intake of air that happens behind me has enough blunt force wind to almost knock me backwards.


Brian pales. I step aside, sheepish.