Why Are We Still Friends

By: Rachel

Copyright 2014

Chapter 38

“Thank you for letting me come over.”  Brian said casually.

I rested my chin on my knees. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“Lexi, I never meant to hurt you. You know that, don’t you?” He seemed sincere, but I’m not ready to believe him.

“But you did.” I looked up at him. “You lied to me all these years. Hell you’ve lied to everyone for years. That’s not the Brian I know.”

He moved down on the floor next to me. His scent was driving me crazy. I knew I should move away, but I didn’t. This wasn’t good. I needed to stay strong.

“I wish I could change things, but I can’t. All I can do is come clean.”

“Are you really going to tell everyone?” I’m surprised.

“I told all the guys today. Now I need to tell my parents. My mom won’t take it well.”  Brian said sadly. I felt bad for him. I’m sure this was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

“Sure, your mom will be angry at first, but she’ll fall in love with Katy Jane.”  I tried to make him feel better. Why was I being so nice to him?

“Katy Jane is beautiful.” His eyes lit up when he talked about her. I could see how much he loved her. Would he love our child this much?

“I’m sure she is. Do you have a picture of her I could see?” I was curious, I admit. She was part of Brian. No matter how much I despised him at the moment, I really did love him.

Brian pulled out his phone. He passed it to me. Katy-Jane was a spitting image of Brian. She’s adorable. “Oh, Brian!  She looks just like you. I bet she has your personality.”

“She’s a little ham. I would love for you to meet her. You’d adore her.” He beamed.

“Do you think her mom will let her come visit you?”

“I’m not sure. We’re kind of working on it.” Brian pushed my hair behind ear. “You look absolutely beautiful tonight, Tiger Lilly.

A blush crept onto my face. “Umm…thank you, Peter Pan.”

“I want to apologize for acting like a dick about the baby. I was upset about us breaking up that I took it out on you.” He seemed genuine, but in the back of my mind I wasn’t sure. “It kills me knowing how I treated you. I’ve loved you all these year, and when I finally have you I do something to ruin it.”

Brian reached out to kiss me. My mind told me to back away, but when his lips touched mine it’s forgotten. He took it slowly, not pushing me further than I wanted to go. I took the lead, by slipping my tongue in his mouth. Our tongues met causing our mouths to heat up. My hands slid under his t-shirt.

“Tiger Lilly let me make love to you.” Brian took my hand and pulled me up off the floor. He led us to my bedroom.

A few hours later, I woke up next to Brian. His arm was draped over my body. I liked having him hold me close. It made me feel safe. I snuggled closer to him. So many thoughts were running through my mind. Once again, I was trying to be in control of all the situations in my life. There were so many what-ifs at the moment. Would I be able to handle everything? Right now the baby came first.

“Lex, you need to relax.” Brian pressed a kiss to my temple.

“I am relaxed.” I lied, knowing he wouldn’t fall for it.

“I can feel you tensing up in my arms.” He held me closer. That didn’t help be calm down. “I know what we can do to relax you.”

I giggled. “Peter Pan, we just got done doing that. Hell, we just slept for three hours.”

“That’s because you were relaxed.” He nipped at my neck.  The he rolled us over until he was lying on top of me. “I love you Lex.”

I decided to go with my gut. Being with Brian felt right, especially being pregnant with his baby. “I love you, too Brian.”

“Does this mean that we’re back together?”  He asked seriously.

“I think we need to talk about it.” With that Brian rolled off of me. He got out of bed and started getting dressed. I took a deep breath. I always seemed to say the wrong thing.  “Brian…are you mad at me?”

Once he was fully clothed, Brian turned toward me. “No, I’m not mad at you. I know you want to talk about this, and doing it in bed won’t work.” Brian gives me a cheeky smile. “I’d be too busy trying to ravish you to listen to what you were saying.”

I started to laugh. “You’re too much. Let me get dress and we’ll talk.”

Five minutes later, Brian and I were sitting on the beach. Neither of us were saying a word. I decided to break the ice. “Peter Pan, I care about you a lot. Even when you lied to me, I couldn’t stop loving you. You’ve been a part of my life for so long. I feel safe with you.”

Brian wrapped his arm around me. “Like I said before, I never wanted to hurt you. You’re the one person, I can be myself with.”

My head fell on his shoulder as I looked out into the dark ocean. “Why did you lie to me in the first place?”

“I was afraid. I knew everyone would judge me. There was no way; I wanted you to judge me. Lexi, I was in love with you back then. In my warped mind I thought I would lose you because of it.” He explained with emotion.

“Brian…”

“No, stop Lex. It’s true. Look how long it’s taken for us to be together. I don’t see myself with any other woman. You’re the real deal.  I want to marry you someday.”  His revelation shocked me. Sure, I knew Brian loved me, but wow this was crazy.

“Brian, I love you, a lot. What about the baby?” I asked curiously. I wanted to know his feelings on the subject. It would determine if we continued with our relationship.

“Lexi, I love you, and I will love the baby.” He nuzzled against me. His words meant a lot, but I need more from him. My heart was telling me this wasn’t enough.

“Brian are you going to hide this child from the world?” I could feel him tense up, but I needed to know the answer. It was important.

“No, I’m never going to do that again. Just like I’m not going to hide Katy Jane anymore.” He said emphatically.

My decision was made. In my heart I knew I was making the right choice. “Brian, I want to be with you.” I smiled at him.

He got so excited that we both fell backwards. “Do you mean it?” He looked at me expectantly.

“With all my heart.” I grabbed his face and kissed him. I was doing the right thing.