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Why Are We Still Friends

By Rachel

Copyright 2015

 

Chapter 53

 

I took Bella’s advice and gave myself a few days to think about how I was going to tell Brian the truth. Many scenarios went through my head. None of them seemed right. Telling Brian wasn’t the big issue; it was his reaction that scared me.

 

The steak and baked potatoes were in the oven. Now, I was preparing a salad. Brian was coming over for dinner.

 

“Hey Tiger Lilly.” He pressed a kiss to my cheek. “You look beautiful today.” I wasn’t looking like a model in my t-shirt and yoga pants. Today was the first day I felt fat.

 

“Umm…thanks. Dinner is almost ready. What do you want to drink?” I opened the refrigerator to grab salad dressing.

 

“Iced tea, if you have it.” Brian opened the cupboard and grabbed two glasses. He handed me them to me, but one of the glasses slipped out of my hand. It shattered into pieces. “Lex, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine.” I quickly say, knowing I’m a bundle of nerves. “Let me grab the broom and clean this up.” I start to walk toward the pantry.

 

“Go sit down. I’ll clean this up and get dinner on the table.” Brian gave me a hug and sent me on my way.

 

Sitting at the dining room table listening to Brian clean up only made me feel worse. If I could turn back time and change the outcome I would. The only thing I didn’t know was what I wanted. I loved Brian, but I loved Nick, too. In my gut I knew I would have to choose one over the other. My heart was breaking.  The situation was going to get out of hand and it was my fault. Brian and Nick were innocent victims in this game of love I was playing.

 

“Everything okay, Lex?” Brian asked as he set a plate of food in front of me. He sat down across from me.

 

“Um, sure. Why?” I had to get myself in control. This was no time to be acting like an airhead.

 

He looks at me with a serious look on his face. “You’ve been on edge since I got here. I’m just worried about you and the babies.”

 

Tonight Brian was acting like the man I knew and loved with all my heart. He was kind and gentle, which was only going to make what I had to tell him even harder. Maybe in the end it didn’t matter that he wasn’t the father of my babies. He still would love me. That wouldn’t change. Would it?

 

I decided to bite the bullet and get it over with. My stomach was nauseous, but it wasn’t from the babies. This was the hardest thing I had to do. I said a quiet prayer to give me the strength to get through this moment.

 

“Brian, the babies are fine. There’s…um…something I need to tell you.” The love in his eyes was enough to make me cry. I had to be strong. No tears were going to escape my eyes. I licked my lips and continued. “I need to you to listen to me before you say a word. This isn’t easy for me.”

 

He stared at me for a moment. “You’re not breaking up with me are you?”

 

“Of course not!” I reached over and kissed him. It was a slow, passionate kiss. It gave me reassurance that Brian loved me. “I…umm…what I’m trying….Brian…you know….I…I…don’t know if I can do this.” I cried out in agony.

 

“Lexi, you’re starting to scare me. Whatever it is you can tell me.” He smiled reassuringly at me. Instead of comforting me, it made me feel like dirt.

 

I took a deep breath. “Remember when we went to the doctor. He mentioned that I was further along in my pregnancy.” He nodded his head. “I didn’t think much of it. It’s normal for the due date to change.”

 

“But everything is okay with the babies?” Brian questioned softly, taking my hands in his.

 

“Yes, they are healthy. A few days ago, I happened to check the calendar. Before we started dating, I had told you that I had slept with Nick.”

 

“What are you saying, Lexi? I don’t think I’m going to like this.” Brian gave me a hard stare. He knew that something wasn’t right as soon as I mentioned Nick.

 

“Brian, I love you with all that I am.” My voice faltered. “It hurts to say this. Nick is the twins’ father.”

 

He pushed my hands away and stood up. “What the fuck Lexi? I thought you were different from other women. You’re nothing but a tramp! How many Backstreet Boys have you fucked?”

 

“Brian I understand you’re upset. I never thought this would happen. I love you. I want to be with you.” I exclaimed. “I don’t want this to change things between us.”

 

He laughed in disbelief. “How in the hell do you expect things to stay the same? You’re fucking pregnant to another man. Do you really think I want used goods? Everyone always thought you were so sweet and innocent. Well, I guess the joke was on me. You fuck Howie yet? What about Kevin? Does your brother know you’ve spread your legs for all his friends?”

 

My mouth opened wide in shock. I couldn’t believe Brian was reacting this way. I knew that he would be upset, but tearing me apart was uncalled for. I already felt like a slut, he was just confirming it. I pushed my chair back from the table. Then I walked out to the deck.

 

I took a few deep breaths of the fresh salt water. The stress wasn’t good for the babies. I needed a moment to calm down. My moment didn’t last long, when I heard a crash coming from the kitchen. Quickly, I ran inside.

 

The sight before my eyes petrified me. Brian had knocked everything off the counter. The coffee pot was broken and scattered across the floor, along with other appliances. Sugar, flour, and dry noodles were everywhere.  He watched as I entered the room. I had never seen such anger come from him.

 

“Brian, calm down. Let’s talk about this like adults.”  I suggested in a whisper. I wasn’t going to let him get the best of me.

 

“Go to hell, Lexi! I don’t need to listen to a whore like you. Why don’t you call your precious little Nicky up? I’m sure he’d like to be inside your used pussy.” Brian laughed. “But just remember this Lexi, once you have those babies, Nick isn’t going to want you or your loose pussy. He’ll move on to someone with a tight, young pussy. Then, you’ll be all alone with your bastard children.”

 

“Screw you! Get out of my house. If you can’t treat me with respect, you’re not invited into my house.” I screamed at him.

 

“Good riddance, bitch.” He walked out of the kitchen and most likely out of my life. In my heart, I knew it was the shock and pain talking.

 

I tip toed around the shards of glass saturating the floor. Grabbing my phone, I slid to the ground. Quickly, I dialed. “AJ, I need you.”