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Author's Chapter Notes:
A country-fried ode to Holiday stress...
I'll be staggerin' drunk for Christmas
on the couch watching TV
Don't wanna be sober when I try
to put up that tree
I'll be staggerin' drunk for Christmas
so don't wait up for me
I'm off to the pub to pound a few
but I'll be home by 3

I'll be staggerin' drunk for Christmas
and so before I go
I'll have an egg-nog for the road
and hope it doesn't snow
I'll be staggerin' drunk for Christmas
even though I don't know why
If I'm not careful comin' home
I'll get a D U I

I'll be staggerin' drunk for Christmas
I'll be reelin' on my feet
I'll be a one-man Conga line
Don't tell me to take a seat
I'll be staggerin' drunk for Christmas
nose red as a reindeer's
Drink right thru the holidays
Won't be sober 'til New Year's

I'll be staggerin' drunk for Christmas
so just you wait & see
Lose my balance comin' in the door
That's how drunk I'll be
I'll be staggerin' drunk for Christmas
I don't know about you
But I'll be staggerin' drunk for Christmas
if it's the last thing that I doooo-woooo
(hic!)
Chapter End Notes:
-circa 2001 - 12/13/02

...and one of the most ironic things I've ever written, given that I don't even drink. (But after so many holiday seasons in the Service Sector, I have little trouble understanding why so many do... :| )

Seriously, though, folks, please drink and/or drive sensibly, and have a safe & happy holiday, everyone! :)
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