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Chapter Eighteen - Galleria


I had hoped after Otis’s revisal of the way things were going to go that Ethan would’ve been more open to an honest talk about what to expect from his father in the aftermath of rehab and everything, but he seemed less open about the topic than he had even before. It seemed like he was actually more defensive of Otis, and that was probably at least partially to blame on my quick mouth the day before when I’d argued with him about it at the table just before Otis had gotten there. Possibly part because he knew I was right. Either way, it made me afraid that I might’ve broken some of the trust that we’d had before and I was scared that if, or when, he went with Otis finally, if something went wrong he would be reluctant to call me. I didn’t know how to tell him that there wouldn’t be an I told you so waiting for him, that I’d just help him the best I could.

But the good news was that with Otis trying to figure out the RV/apartment/home situation I had some extra time to figure out how to respond when he tried to come for Ethan.

At least, I thought I did.




“You said you’d take me to the galleria,” Ethan said, coming up behind the couch, where I was watching a rerun of Survivor. He looked anxious as he said it. “I need to get my dad a present.” Otis had ended up saying that he’d come to our place for Christmas to spend the holiday with Ethan, like Lauren had suggested. I’d whined to high heaven to her that night about the offer, but she’d pointed out that Christmas was about family and it wasn’t fair if Ethan couldn’t spend it with his dad because of us and I’d given in with a sigh.

Lauren was vacuuming when I found her to tell her that we were going to the Cool Springs Galleria. I felt a little bit like it was a waste of time for Ethan to buy something for his father - ingrateful as the man already seemed to be - but I didn’t want to try to tell him that. Plus I needed a present for Lauren, so… you know, the proverbial two birds with one stone.

“Have fun,” Lauren had said with a laugh when I told her our plan to go get the cliche last minute manly Christmas shopping done. Then, in a lower voice, “Maybe talk to him if you can, about… you know. Otis and everything.”

“I’ve tried, but I’ll try again,” I answered with a nod.

There were only five more shopping days until Christmas and if the banner that ran hung over the food court in the mall reading that didn’t get through to you, you’d know it by the crowd. It was ridiculous in there. People were everywhere, swarming around almost as bad as they’d been on Black Friday when I’d been here. They were still tug-of-warring over the same sweaters. Ethan followed me into the concourse and we started walking past the kiosks of Dead Sea Mineral Lotion and microwavable heating pads shaped like seals and teddybears. “So what are you getting for Lauren?” Ethan asked as we walked.

“I have no idea,” I replied, looking around. “What’re you getting for your dad?”

“I have no idea,” Ethan answered.

I laughed, “Well this should be easy, since we know what we’re looking for and everything.”

He laughed, too.

We walked in silence for a few minutes, glancing this way and that way at the displays and kiosks and door signs. My brain was whirring, torn between coming up with a way to talk to Ethan about Otis and also searching for an answer of what Lauren would want that wasn’t baby-related. We hadn’t really been doing much else besides thinking about babies lately. She’d been using her iPad a lot, so maybe I could get her like an app gift card or a new case, but those were more like stocking stuffers than an actual gift.

It occurred to me, too, that I needed to get Ethan a Christmas present as well. That would be way easier than shopping for Lauren, I thought, as we passed a GameStop. I glanced at him. “We ought to split up, cover more ground that way,” I suggested, hovering there.

Ethan looked around at the crowd, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I said. I pulled my phone out to see what time it was. “We’ll meet back at the food court at two-thirty?” I suggested.

Ethan pulled his phone out, too, and nodded, “Okay. Sounds cool.”

“Cool. See ya then,” I grinned, and we split up, Ethan walking on through the crowd and I doubled back to the GameStop.

GameStop is like a crack den for me basically. I looked at all the shiny game systems and game cards and if I’d been having trouble still getting Thor up then he would’ve been healed by the beautiful-ness that was this store. My worries about Lauren’s present and Ethan’s present and Otis and everything kinda melted off as I scrambled excitedly for the used consoles to see if they’d gotten any vintage pieces in that I didn’t already have at home or anything I could use for parts for the systems I was rebuilding. I dug around through the store, collecting a pile of stuff that eventually an employee came over and offered me a basket for. An obscene amount of money later and I’d dug up an old Nintendo GameCube for parts, a working Sega Genesis system and a bunch of games for myself, and a 3DS handheld and a bunch of games for Ethan.

At least I’d gotten Ethan out of the way, I thought as I emerged from the haze of GameStop and refocused on my tasks. Lauren’s present and Otis. I sighed.

I made my way back down the mall, wreckin’ my brain once more. I found myself in a jewelry store, looking at the shiny stuff in the cases, but Lauren had a bunch of that already and it seemed like a traditional dude gift and not really very personal, so I went back out in the mall and kept walking.

I wondered how Ethan was doing on his mission, if he’d found what he wanted yet. I looked at the phone and realized I didn’t have a whole lot of more time before I had to meet up with him and I doubled up my walking speed. I’d spent longer in GameStop than I’d intended to. But most addicts do spend longer in their crack dens than they intend, really.

I was hovering outside of Victoria’s Secret, trying to decide if Lauren would shoot me dead if I got her this strappy black ensemble that the mannequin in the window display was wearing, when my phone vibed in my pocket. “Hello?” I answered it, still staring at the mannequin. Anyone walking by was gonna think I was a pervert ‘cos I’d been staring at it entirely too long. I turned away.

“Hello, is this Mr. ….Carter? Nick Carter?” It was a low voice, a man.

“Uh… yes,” I answered. I pictured it being like the CIA and this was finally my call to join the Men in Black and discover all the aliens or something.

“My name is Vince, I’m the security manager at the Cool Springs Galleria, and I have a young man in my office named Ethan Paulson who says you’re his guardian.”

“Uhm… yes,” I answered.

Vince took a deep breath, “I’m going to need you to come down to my office, sir. Ethan was caught shoplifting and I’ve already contacted the police. I just need someone to hand over custody of the minor to.”

My stomach did several somersaults.

“He was what?”

“Shoplifting. If you could come down, my office is located by the Macy’s on the north end of the building --”

“I’ll be right there.” I hung up and walked quickly down the length of the concourse, my palms turning to pools of sweat, my blood seemed to be running ice cold. I felt sick. I felt like everyone was staring at me, like everyone in the entire place knew why I was walking quick, like they were blaming me for the shock and horror that was happening. I thought of Jordan’s words on the phone that night. He’ll turn on you, he’d said.

“Fuck,” I muttered as Macy’s came into view.

The last time I’d felt like this, I’d gotten a call from my mother asking for money to help pay fines that Angel had accrued trying to steal jewelry from a Rite Aid in Florida years and years ago, before she got her act together and became probably the best adjusted of the whole group of us Carter kids. I remembered the strange realization that someone I’d trusted to do only good things had suddenly done something horribly wrong.

I don’t know why I was so fucking shocked about Ethan, though. Angel I understood, she’d never done anything like that before and never did again, but Ethan -- for crying out loud I’d met the guy after he stolen. It really shouldn’t have been a surprise. And how stupid had I been, not even thinking to ask how he was gonna buy his father a present. Surely Mr. Carver’s tree shanty wasn’t paying him good enough to afford much. I should’ve asked if he had money, should’ve offered him an allowance, should’ve done something to stop this instead of letting him run wild and free all on his own at the mall. I hadn’t even stuck with him to keep an eye on what he was doing.

I found the office, it had a wide glass paneled waiting area where an older woman with dark hair sat behind a desk labeled Mall Security. I stepped hesitantly up to the desk, “Um… hi,” I said.

She must’ve seen a nervous parent before because she stood up and without even asking me why I was there, she said, “Come with me, he’s right in here,” and led me through a door to a short hallway and knocked on a door with a little placard on it that read Vince O'Neill, Assets Protection Officer in gold letters.

Vince opened the door and held out his hand, “I’m sorry to call you like this,” he said, “I’m Vince O'Neill.” He waved me into the office. It was tiny, mostly bare except for a desk full of computer monitors, covered with video feeds from a million angles of all the stores in the mall. How he could watch all of those at once was beyond me. In the corner was a hard metal bench and on that bench, cuffed to the arm of it, was Ethan.

“I didn’t steal anything,” Ethan said in a fiery voice.

Vince glared at him, “Don’t tell me that bullshit, kid, I already showed you I had the tape showing you put the necklace in your pocket.”

“I was trying to get my wallet.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Vince snapped.

“It’s not bullshit.”

Vince sighed, shaking his head. He turned to me. “Honestly, I’ve been watching him for awhile now. This is just the first time I’ve been able to catch him on camera,” he said. “I’m sorry, man. I know it’s not easy to be in your shoes.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. I looked at Ethan. He was staring at his feet, like he didn’t dare to look up.

It felt really surreal, standing there in that office. It wasn’t jail but it reminded me of the two times I’d been arrested in my life and how horrible I’d felt then. I hoped Ethan was feeling that right now, too, and I suddenly understood why Kevin had been so pissed off both times when I’d called him to come get me out. This was humiliating, even if you weren’t the one in shit. It was like claiming responsibility for the person that had done the crime and it felt low and gross and disgusting and the room was cold and Vince had this really curious, condescending almost look on his face as he put some paperwork on the desk.

“Because Ethan’s under eighteen, he’ll be presented with a court summons which will be delivered via US Postal Service from the State of Tennessee. This is the first time he’s been caught, -” Vince said the word caught with emphasis, “- so there will be a fine of at least twice the amount of the merchandise he attempted to steal, possibly more, and he will be asked not to shop at Macy’s again. This form is saying that I’m releasing his personal items to a guardian.” He pushed a form at me and took Ethan’s cell phone, jacket, and wallet out of a box that had been sitting on the desk.

I took the stuff and signed the form.

“What did he steal?” I asked out of curiosity.

Vince reached into the box and produced a little box with a necklace inside with a horse charm hanging from it. “It’s only a piece of costume jewelry,” he said, “Forty dollars worth of cheap crap, really. Well, $43.68 after tax.”

I looked over at Ethan, but he still wouldn’t look up.

Vince cleared his throat. He was pushing another form to me across the desk. “This one is saying that I’ll be releasing custody to you, and here it’s saying I told you about the potential fine and court summons.” I signed that one, too. “And this one is saying that you accept Ethan’s ban from Macy’s stores.” I took a deep breath and signed that, too.

Ethan never once looked at me. He just stared at his shoes.

A hundred forms like that later, or so it seemed at least, and I finally was finished. I grabbed Ethan’s stuff off the counter. “C’mon,” I snapped at him.

Ethan stood up and followed me out the door of the office, past Vince O'Neill and his dark haired secretary and through the mall. I didn’t bother looking to make sure Ethan was keeping up, I was too angry. When we got to the food court, I shoved his stuff into his arms. “Here. Put your coat on.” I stepped outside while he was still getting his stuff together, shoving his wallet and phone into his coat pockets and following after me several feet behind. I had the car running already by the time he pulled himself in and drew the seat belt across his chest.

“I didn’t mean to st--”

I cut him off, “Do not finish that sentence,” I said in a growl.

He fell into silence.

The longer I thought about it, the more pissed off I was getting. I was literally to the point that I didn’t dare to open my mouth until Lauren was there to moderate. I didn’t know what would come out. I wasn’t even sure what I was feeling and thinking. I felt like a black hole of anger.

We drove rest of the way to the house in absolute silence.