[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
** HOWIE **

“Shit, shit, shit, shiiiiiiiit!”

I pulled the covers up over my head in an effort to drown out AJ’s persistent cursing. Couldn’t he see that all I wanted to do was go to sleep and stay asleep for the rest of the day? I was in no mood to see, or talk to, anyone.

“Howie, you need to wake up! This is bad. This is fucking bad.”

I scooted down even farther under the covers and rolled over so that I was facing the wall. Maybe AJ would finally take the hint and leave me alone.

“Howieeeeeeeeeee!”

“I don’t want to talk to you, AJ.” I directed my comment into the pillow, my voice muffled. “Leave me alone.”

“Dude, I know that you’re pissed at me, and that’s fine, but you really need to wake up and look at this.”

“Do you even know why I’m mad at you?” I flung the covers away from my face and rolled over onto my back so that I could look into AJ’s face. “Do you?”

“Because of Brian?” AJ shrugged and thrust his phone into my face. “Look at this!”

AJ’s nonchalant response made me want to punch him in the face. He didn’t even care that I was upset. He didn’t give two shits about the fact that I was constantly treated like an accessory; someone who could be utilized when needed and ignored the rest of the time. Maybe I should just leave, quit the group and focus on my solo career. It wasn’t as if the guys or the fans would even notice that I was gone.

“Yes, AJ, I’m mad at you because of Brian.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m mad because you and Nick seem to think that the sun rises and sets on his country fried ass ...”

“Christ, Howie, just shut the fuck up and look at this!” AJ pushed his phone against my nose. “It’s important.”

I snatched the device out of AJ’s hand and pulled it away from my face so that my eyes could focus on the screen. I could feel my stomach muscles clenching in frustration as I saw that AJ had been looking at Ashley’s stupid story. He already knew my opinion about Brian getting stabbed. What more did he want me to say?

“She posted two more chapters last night.” AJ explained. “Nick’s gonna get shot, Howie. Nick’s gonna get shot.”

“What?!” I sat up and kicked the covers away from my body, running my finger down the screen in an attempt to scan through the thousands of words that littered the page. “Why would she do that? Why would she post something without our consent? Did the FBI tell her to?”

Even though I was angry at Nick, the thought of him getting shot was too much for me to digest. I loved Nick. I loved him as more than a friend, as more than a brother. It was hard to explain, but regardless of how he treated me, there would always be a special place in my heart that would be exclusively reserved for Nick. I was fiercely protective of the blonde; I had been since the very beginning. I had been Nick’s older brother, his confidant, his best friend long before Brian had even set foot in Florida.

Over the years, I had tried to fool myself into believing that Nick would always see me as his best friend. Every time that he came running back to me, I received him with open arms. No matter what he did or how far he strayed, I was always willing to forgive him. I’m not sure what made me do it, what made me turn a blind eye to the fact that Nick abused our friendship to suit his own needs.

For the longest time, I had tried to console myself with the fact that Brian used Nick in the same way that Nick used me. I had thought that it was obvious that their friendship was lopsided; that Brian didn’t love Nick in the same way that Nick loved him. It wasn’t until last night that I realized that I had been wrong. Nick loved Brian with a fierceness that I had never seen in terms of a friendship, and it was obvious in the way that Brian had been looking at Nick last night that he loved him in the exact same fashion. The only difference was that Brian had been keeping his need for Nick’s friendship hidden behind a façade; a façade that was now beginning to crack. Last night, I had finally allowed myself to acknowledge what I had always known: that Nick loved Brian more than he loved me.

“What should we do?” AJ was still speaking. “Do you think Nick knows that she posted a chapter about him?”

I shook my head to break free from my own thoughts. There was too much going on in my head, and I needed to focus on the immediate fact that Nick was now in danger. I swung my feet to the floor and practically pushed AJ out of the way as I began to search for some clean clothes.

“I’m going to kill that stupid bitch.”

AJ looked at me as if I had suddenly spurted a second head. “That’s a bit harsh, D. We don’t even know the whole story.”

“I know enough of the story to realize that she crossed a line!” I flung AJ’s phone in his general direction and watched as he struggled to catch it. “Are you coming?”

“Where are we going?” AJ followed me out into the hallway, hopping on one foot as he hurried to put his shoes on; his room card clenched between his front teeth.

“First, I’m going to talk to Nick. Then, I’m going to scream at Ashley.” I mumbled over my shoulder, fuming as I speed walked down the hallway.

AJ finally managed to tug on his shoes. He pulled the room card out of his mouth and jogged to catch up with me. “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good explanation ...”

AJ fell silent as the two of us hurried by the cluster of security guards gathered by the elevator. Three of the massive men were roaring with laughter as their friend animatedly waved his hands in the air; clearly recounting some hilarious event. Their conversation drifted through the air as AJ and I walked passed, despite the fact that the man who was speaking lowered his voice as soon as he caught sight of us.

“... I’m telling you guys, it was fucking hilarious! The little guy was totally pissed. You could practically see his balls turning blue, and the other one was just standing there like a total dope. If one of my buddies ever did that to me, I would have totally knocked him out ...”

“You don’t think that they were talking about us, do you?” AJ glanced over his shoulder at the security guards as I pounded on the door to Nick and Brian’s room. “They’re kinda staring at us.”

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. “Since when have I ever given you blue balls?”

“Not ‘us’ specifically.” AJ did roll his eyes. “I meant ‘us’, as in ‘our group’.”

“Does it really matter at this particular moment ...” I stopped talking as Nick pulled open the door.

“G’mornin’”

Nick rubbed at the stubble on his chin and stepped aside so that AJ and I could enter the room. His hair was sticking up at odd angles, his clothes were rumpled, and he smelled like stale beer. Essentially, he looked like shit.

“Good morning?” AJ raised his eyebrows in concern. “I told you to take it easy last night.”

“It was my fault.” Brian trudged into the entry way. He looked and sounded even worse than Nick. “I was the one who was pushing the drinks.”

I stared into Brian’s bloodshot eyes. The animosity was radiating out of me in waves. I couldn’t tell if he had been crying or if he was still drunk. In all fairness, I didn’t care.

“You gotta be careful.” AJ was still talking to Nick. “You know how easy it is to slip back into your old habits ...”

“It was just one night.” Nick yawned. “I’m alright.”

“He’s okay, AJ. Like I said, it was all ...”

“How do you know if Nick’s okay?” I cut Brian off. My words sliced through the air with such ferocity that Brian visibly flinched. “You know nothing about what he went through. You weren’t there for him! You have no right to comment about whether or not Nick is in danger of relapsing because you got him drunk.”

Brian stared at me for a few seconds before dropping his eyes to the floor. He sniffed loudly and attempted to discreetly wipe at his face, but he wasn’t quick enough. A tear escaped his finger tips and landed on his shirt, leaving a dark streak on the fabric. I stared at the wet mark in satisfaction. It was about time that Brian started to see how his actions impacted the rest of us.

“Dude!” AJ looked at me in disgust. “What the hell?”

I glared at AJ, struggling to determine if it was worth the effort to formulate a response. No matter what I said, AJ was going to take Brian’s side. After all, I was the bad guy. I was the one who had made Brian cry. It didn’t matter that I was right. It didn’t matter that Brian deserved to shed more than a few tears for the way that he treated Nick in the past.

“Did you guys need something?” Nick voice matched his appearance; exhausted.

“Yes.” I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around Nick and pull him into a tight hug, but I held back as I motioned for AJ to pull out his phone. Nick didn’t look very impressed with me at the moment. “Have you seen what Ashley’s done?”

“No.” Brian exchanged a worried look with Nick and placed his hand against the wall to brace himself. He looked as though he was about to be sick. “What has she done?”

“Bri, are you alright?” AJ took a tentative step forwards. “You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

“I’m fine.” Brian was clearly lying. “Just show us what Ashley’s done. You both look as though she’s done something terrible.”

“We shouldn’t believe everything that she says.” Nick returned Brian’s anxious glance. “She’s probably just lying to get some publicity.”

“What are you talking about?” I shook my head at Nick. “She uploaded two more chapters last night without telling us. What do you think she’s lying about?”

“Nothing.” Nick’s answer was too quick. He looked at Brian again. Something was up.

“Don’t you want to know what happens in the chapters that she posted?” I peered expectantly at Nick. What was he hiding?

“Why do neither of you seem surprised?” AJ looked first at Nick and then at Brian. “Did you know that Ashley was going to upload again last night?”

“Ummm ... well ...” Nick scuffed his feet on the floor. “I kinda, sorta told Ashley to upload whatever she had already written.”

“You kinda, sorta did what?!” I felt as though my head were about to explode. Did Nick realize what he had done? Did he realize the danger that he had put himself in?

“And then when she hesitated, I kinda uploaded the chapters myself.” Nick was still talking; head bowed, eyes fixed on the floor. “I just didn’t want to go through another fight like the one that we had yesterday.” Nick pulled his eyes away from the floor and looked pointedly at me. “It was obvious that we all couldn’t agree on what was best for everyone.”

“Nick, Ashley wrote that you’re going to get shot.” AJ shook his head. “Did you know that when you told her to post the chapters?”

“Oh, God.” Brian let out a low moan and slid slowly down the wall so that he was sitting on the floor by Nick’s feat. “Oh, God.”

“I was too drunk to actually read anything.” Nick now had his attention fixed on Brian. “Bri, this isn’t your fault.”

“You can’t get shot!” Brian was sobbing again. “I don’t want you to die, Nick!”

“Nobody is going to die!” AJ also appeared to be on the verge of breaking down. “Ashley isn’t going to let any of us get killed.”

“Has everyone but me lost their fucking mind?!” I exploded. “Don’t you understand that Ashley has nothing to do with what’s going on?! Sure, the un-sub may be copying the events of her story, but she has no control over the outcome. She can write that we’re all going to turn into fucking unicorns and live happily ever after in some magical land, but that’s not what’s going to happen in real life. If whoever is out to hurt us continues to follow Ashley’s plot then all we know for sure is that Brian is gonna be stabbed and that Nick is gonna to be shot. We know nothing more than that! For all we know, the un-sub could start calling his own shots, and he could shoot every one of us dead before we even set foot on stage tomorrow night!”

“Nobody is going to die.” AJ sank down next to Brian on the floor and hugged his knees to his chest. “We’re all gonna be fine.”

AJ’s pitiful attitude only served to make me angrier. The sight of him on the floor next to Brian spurred me to continue screaming. “Have any of you even stopped to think that maybe Ashley is lying?! Maybe she’s only pretending to be a victim so that she can get closer to us. Maybe, just maybe, she’s the one who’s really trying to kill us!”

“No.” Brian hiccupped. “No, that can’t be true.”

“It’s not.” Nick practically threw himself on the floor and slung his arm around Brian’s shoulders. “Agent Adams wouldn’t have offered Ashley protection if he had any reason to believe that she was the one who was trying to hurt us. He would have arrested her right away.”

“You’re all unbelievable!” I spat. I couldn’t stand to see the three of them sitting on the floor like a bunch of little kids. We were supposed to be men. We were supposed to have moved beyond all of this childish division. We were supposed to be a family.

“You’re wrong, Howie.” Nick locked his tired eyes with mine. “I’m sorry ... I’m sorry for everything, but I – I just have to – I just gotta side with Brian.”

Nick’s words were like a punch in the stomach. To Nick, the phrase simply meant what he had intended it to mean; that he had to believe Brian’s deduction that Ashley wasn’t the un-sub. To me, his words meant so much more. To me, his words had a sense of finality; I had officially lost.