Mama please stop cryin'
I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and it's
Tearing me down
I hear glasses breaking
As I sit up in my bed
I told God you didn't mean
Those nasty things you said
You fight about money
About me and my brother
And this I come home to
This is my shelter
“Kevin will you stop… will you just stop and listen to your self!” the screaming started again…. upstairs this time at least far enough away that I could maybe go to a different room and block some of it out.
“Why do you always start things…? Rosa Lynn” Dad yelled back.
“Don’t you dare demean me Kevin…. don’t you dare... I asked a simple question I expect and appropriate answer.”
“What the hell is appropriate to you? This fight is getting old Rosa…. I’m getting tired of it.!”
“God damn it Kevin … what do you want me to do…sit here day after day not saying a word…. god damn it!” something breaking up stairs made me jump… They never came to throwing things before.
“ That’s it Rosa I can’t deal with this any more…it’s over…we can’t fix us any more no matter how hard we try.” The yelling ended Daddy’s words were calmer now, that scared me.
Oh god daddy no don’t say that … please don’t say that
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
You'll see, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Mommy I'll do anything
Can we work it out
Can we be a family
I promise I'll be better
Daddy please don't leave
Months this had been going on, the yelling, the screaming… every day it was something different. They fight about me…. They fight about Tommy my older brother… they even fight about the dog. It really sucks I’m 13 years old… I don’t want my family to break apart.
Daddy please stop yelling
I can't stand the sound
Make mama stop cryin'
'Cause I need you around
My mama she loves you
No matter what she says is true
I know that she hurts you
But remember I love you too!
“Kevin …please come on you can’t just walk out on us.” Momma cried.
“That’s what you want isn’t it… you’re the one that pushed me so far away… I’m sorry that you lost the baby but what could I do to help when you pushed me so far away. Rosa I can’t do it.” Daddy’s voice boomed in the house echoing off the large rooms.
“So you’re just going to leave….leave me and the kids…. Not try to work it out?”
“It’s for the best…you’ll see, maybe we need this time apart to work out stuff. You say you don’t blame me but I see it in your eyes…..”
“No please that’s not it. Kevin please.” Momma begged.
I ran away today, ran from the noise
Ran away (ran away)
Don't wanna go back to that place
But don't have no choice, no way
It ain't easy, growin' up in WW3
Never knowin' what love could be
But I've seen, I don't want love to destroy me
Like it has done my family
Daddy please stop and just listen, mommas trying to talk to you… don’t make her cry any more. Daddy please don’t leave we love you.
Looking at the picture hanging over the fire place our smile too bright and to fake, but we sure did look happy ….it was only three months ago what went wrong. I couldn’t look at it any more, with tears running down my face I dashed out the back door…. just having to get away from the sound.
In our family portrait
We look pretty happy
Let's play pretend, let's act like it
Comes naturally
“Corra! Corra Nicole I’m speaking to you answers me!” Kevin yelled calling for his daughter.
“She’s not in her room” Rosa spoke softly coming down the stairs to see her husband standing in the door way with a small duffel bag packed.
“Where could she be?”
“She doesn’t like the yelling Kevin... she most likely went to the park, just to get away”
“I’ll check on my way out. I’ll be staying at the Hilton on Stevenson”
“Do you see what were doing to our children” Rosa cried softly hoping beyond hope Kevin would see the hurt he was causing and would rethink him leaving.
“We need time apart. All we do is fight that’s not good either.” Kevin sighed picking his bag up and walking out the door with out another word.
He made his way to the park looking for his young daughter, looking in all the places she could hide. Not finding her after 45 minutes he went back to his home. He was not leaving with out saying good-bye he never did in all his years of touring and traveling he wasn’t going to start now.
“Your back?” Rosa gasped when he walked in the door.
“She wasn’t at the park... I looked all over call some of her friends I want to at least tell her I’m going away for a while”
“It’s been hours Kevin it’s past 10 where could she be?” Rosa sobbed no longer worried about her marriage, but her daughter.
“I don’t know…has she done this before, did you try all her friends?”
“Yes Kevin…and no she’s never done this before, but if you were home more often you would know that!”
“I’M NOT FIGHTING WITH YOU ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Kevin screamed turning his back away from Rosa.
“ Do you guys ever stop fighting god…what the hell happened that was so bad? Did you even notice I was gone or were to busy screaming at each other?” I took my turn to yell at both my parents.
“Corra...Christ where have you been we were so worried.” Momma sighed in relief.
“I had to get away from the yelling it was hurting my ears and my head” I explained.
“That doesn’t give you the right to leave this house with out telling one of us... do you understand?” Daddy growled.
“But you can leave us when ever it gets to hard… you can just forget about us because you had a fight with momma?” I cried back.
“I’m not forgetting about you! Momma and I just need to get away from each other for an lil while.” Daddy tried to reason with me.
I don't wanna have to split the holidays I don't want two addresses
I don't want a stepbrother anyway
And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name!
Mama'll be nicer
I'll be so much better
I'll tell my brother
I won't spill the milk at dinner
I'll be so much better
I'll do everything right
I'll be your little girl forever
I'll go to sleep at night
“ Why…. Why do you need to go away…? I don’t want you too, I don’t want any thing to change, I see what my friends go through every other holiday with their dad and new mom. I don’t want that…. I want my life to be the way it was, before you guys got so mad at each other.” The tears were pouring down my face so fast even brushing them away wouldn’t help.
“ Momma you don’t want Daddy to leave do you…please Daddy we’ll try to make it better, I’m sorry for what ever I did to make you fight I’ll be better.. I’ll try to fix it please just don’t leave Daddy please.” Begging I threw my self into my dad’s arms wrapping my self around his waist not wanting to let go any time soon.
“Baby it’s nothing you or Momma did ……its just stuff…. Grown up stuff, we have grown up problems you can’t fix baby.” Daddy pushed my tears soaked strains of hair back off my face. “ Come on baby lets get you up to bed…we’ll talk about this later you’ve had a bad day and you need to go to sleep” Daddy whispered in my ear pulling away from me and leading me up stairs.
Daddy don't leave... daddy don't leave
“Rosa comes on let’s go upstairs and talk this out.” Kevin smiled softly at his wife, when he came back down stairs from putting their daughter to bed.
THE END
Story Notes:
Not sure where this one came from, But it was written in '01 so who knows what I was thinking back then!!!!
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is a different set up try to follow me here ( I even think it’s odd.. and that like whoa for me)… it’s been so long since I’ve written het…..ok the Italic font is the Childs thoughts, This story takes a few point of view changes
Chapter End Notes:
Song and lyrics by Pink - Family Portrait
