“Well, did you call him?”
“What do you think?” I fumed, clutching my phone tightly.
“And he’s not answering?” Howie mumbled, his brow furrowed. “Did he like, say anything?”
“What do you think?” I repeated, even angrier.
“Hey, I’m trying to figure this out as much as you are,” Howie scoffed, irritated.
“They’re getting anxious,” AJ announced as he walked into the small dressing room of the venue.
“Did you check every bathroom?” Nick mumbled, nervously playing with the piece of paper that had all our deadlines on it.
“Dude,” I sighed, “this isn’t a joke.”
“I know!” Nick replied defensively, “That’s where I would check, ‘s all I’m saying.”
Ignoring him, I dialed Brian’s number again, for what must have been the twentieth time that morning. It rang twice, then went straight to voice mail. My cousin knew exactly what time he needed to be at the venue, and was now officially over 40 minutes late. And sure, it wasn’t like none of us were ever late to anything, but at least we picked up our phones when that happened.
“What about the hotel, you can try the hotel,” Howie suggested and I saw AJ nod affirmatively.
“Fine,” I mumbled, dialing impatiently, “Just tell Jen that I will kill him for her if he doesn’t show up within now and twenty minutes. I swear to God, he’s dead if he overslept.” The lady at the desk of the hotel lobby answered the phone with practiced cheer and I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, did Brian Littrell leave already,” I asked, going straight to the point.
It was silent on the other end for a moment, besides the typing I could hear her doing on her computer, “No sir, it seems he has not checked out yet.”
I thanked her through clenched teeth, shoving my phone into my pocket and grabbing my coat. I gave the others a furious gaze before I turned around and started to walk towards the door.
“Where you going?” AJ asked, surprised.
“He hasn’t checked out, so he’s mostly likely still there,” I replied, still seething, “I’mma beat the crap outta him.”
AJ’s brow furrowed in worry, “I’m going with you,” he announced.
I frowned at him, realizing I had only been this mad once before in my life, and I was sure that AJ remembered that too. I was shaking by the time we arrived at the hotel and went to Brian’s door. I rammed my fist against the wood, impatiently waiting for any kind of noise from inside.
Nothing.
AJ nervously went from one foot to the other next to me, looking like he had to pee. He retrieved his phone and dialed, putting it up to his ear.
My breath caught in my throat as I heard a muffled ringtone from the other side of the door.
“Hey!” I yelled, pounding my fist against the door again, “Get your ass up, you’re fucking late!”
The sound of the ringtone continued and AJ stared at me with an incredulous expression and his mouth open. The anger in my veins came to a boiling point and I took a few steps back before slamming my foot into the door handle, just like I had done to AJ all those years ago.
Brian had responsibilities goddammit. He was 40 years old, and it was a work day. A busy work day at that. I did not need to haul him outta bed, that was his own job.
He wasn’t in bed though.
There was nobody in the room and my eyes flew to Brian’s phone, which was still buzzing and ringing. I frowned, looking at AJ behind me.
“Bathroom,” AJ suggested and I nodded. Of course.
The bathroom door was not locked and as I reached out my hand to open it, I hesitated, very aware of a growing feeling of dread. The sense that something was suddenly very off was almost physically stopping me from moving forward. I was half aware of AJ continuing his nervous dance behind me. Steeling myself I lay my hand on the doorknob and turned it.
“Oh Jesus,” I muttered, a kind of familiar sight greeting me. The fact that it didn’t entirely add up, didn’t register in my brain at that very moment. Brian was on the ground, unmoving and his eyes closed. “Not again,” I grumbled, kneeling next to him.
His eyes didn’t open as I turned him on his back, and there was a strange smell coming off him. My brow furrowed and I looked up. AJ was standing in the doorway, wordlessly looking at me, his face sixteen shades paler than just a minute ago. The look in his eyes was terrifying and I wondered for a brief moment if he knew something I didn’t. “What?” I asked, suddenly afraid.
AJ didn’t say anything, just pointed at the small plastic bottle on the ground that had been hidden from my view previously.
The world came to a crashing halt when I saw it. “No…” I made a noise that was somewhere between a whisper and a moan and felt a crushing weight suddenly burdening my chest. Refusing to let the implications of the bottle make sense in my mind, panic suffocating the very breath out of me, I grabbed my cousin tightly for dear life.
The scene became a blur to me. My heart dropped another few inches, noticing I could barely detect him breathing or a heartbeat.
“No no no no no,” I kept murmuring, looking at AJ in desperation. AJ was on the phone, his words tumbling over each other as he tried to assess the situation.
“I-I don’t know,” he stammered helplessly, “He’s really pale and he smells like chemicals, I don’t know what he took, please, just hurry.” I nodded slowly, gripping my cousin a little tighter, rocking us both back and forth.
I didn’t dare to really consider what had happened, sure that it would drive me crazy if I did.
“I’ll ask,” AJ said, taking the phone from his ear, “You know CPR?” I saw the desperation in his eyes. I nodded absently, still rocking, still refusing to let his words sink in. I was not performing CPR on my cousin. Not in a million years. I gasped when I felt Brian move slightly.
He coughed miserably, his eyelids fluttering wildly.
“If he’s gotta throw up, that’s a good thing,” AJ pointed out, watching our band mate intently.
I tried not to be disturbed by how knowledgeable AJ seemed to be about this whole situation as I cautiously turned Brian on his side. He gagged and heaved a few times, but nothing really came up. The smell of chemicals was making me nauseous. I fisted my hands in the back of Brian’s shirt, “What did you do?” I cried, shaking him. “What did you do?”
Brian gave a wheezing gasp, turning his face to me. His gaze focused on mine for a few seconds, his pupils dilated and completely vacant. I saw him close his eyes and with a last painful sigh, he went still. I panicked completely. I began screaming at him, shaking him, curling my fingers in his damp t-shirt. I vaguely heard AJ screaming as well, but didn’t realize he was screaming at me and not at Brian. I didn’t look at him until AJ grabbed my arms and pulled me away roughly.
“He’s not breathing, Kev,” he said, his voice amazingly calm. I froze, watching as AJ pinched my cousin’s nose and breathed into his mouth. The feeling that AJ had seen situations that were similar before grew more and more. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t do anything but stare and let myself be shoved aside by AJ’s hands when he moved to Brian’s chest. I sank back against the wall, under the sink and covered my face in my hands. My sobs were uncontrolled and I felt completely useless as I sat there, watching AJ do the best he could.
My fingers slowly encircled the nearly empty plastic bottle. Baclofen. It could have been Chinese for all I knew. These were prescription drugs, I realized, gasping for breath. These didn’t look like just some aspirins, these were serious stuff.
I looked on as AJ’s efforts became wilder and more desperate. I could see that he too was starting to lose it. I didn’t realize the paramedics had arrived until they were standing right in front of us. They made quick work of ushering us out of the bathroom, one of them staying with us in order to ask us dozens of questions we most likely didn’t know the answer to.
I lifelessly handed him the bottle when he asked what Brian had taken and I shrugged, not knowing the details of the medication at all. Next to me, AJ looked almost as pale as Brian had done. He didn’t say much, just nodded or shrugged at the questions, just like me. No, we didn’t know any specifics about the drugs, we only were vaguely aware that he had to take them. No, we didn’t know the prescribed dose. No, we didn’t suspect he would ever accidentally overdose them. No, we didn’t think he would ever intentionally overdose them.
At the last question, I felt the bile rise in my throat and I promptly stood up and walked out of the room. I didn’t want to think about the implication of the situation at hand. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t important.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I decided to take this story in a slightly different direction, because I feel like it fits into the storyline and theme a bit better. So if you like, please read the previous few chapters to know where it left of and where the story changes
