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Where’s Sirius?


The Astronomy Tower door closed behind Peter, James, and Lily and Professor Zosma looked ‘round at them. “An unusually small class this evening,” she commented. It was the first time that any of the professors had noticed Remus missing, Lily thought, and when she turned around to mention that fact to Sirius, she found he wasn’t there, either, and realized why Zosma had noticed. Nearly half her class was gone.

“Where’s Sirius?” Lily hissed to James as the three of them each set up their own telescopes.

James was screwing on the viewfinder and checking its settings, twisting the knob. “He had something he had to do tonight,” he replied vaguely.

Lily’s eyebrows knit together. She wanted the whole truth, so she said in a stern tone, “Potter.”

James looked up, imitated the expression she was giving him, and her tone, “Evans.”

“Where’s Sirius?” Lily repeated.

James fiddled with the telescope a few moments. “Right ascension… six, forty-five, zero-eight point nine one seven twenty-eight… declination negative sixteen…”

Lily reached over and pushed the telescope, sending it spinning out of place. James looked up, “What! You asked where Sirius was…”

“Not the star, you bloody idiot.”

James grinned, “You need to be more specific, Love, we are in Astronomy right now, after all.”

Potter,” Lily said again, even sterner, “You know perfectly well --” She paused as Professor Zosma came by to check on how their telescopes were doing on the set up.

Professor Zosma looked Lily’s over, “Very good Miss. Evans, you did that very quickly!” She looked at James, who was scrambling to get his back into the correct position after Lily had thrown it off kilter. Professor Zosma sighed, “You’ll get it, Mr. Potter, just keep working at it.”

“I had it,” he said, “But then something knocked it off it’s track…” He narrowed his eyes at Lily.

Zosma wandered off to help Peter, who was still doing abysmally awful at trying to find the ascension and declination points that Professor Zosma had assigned them. The moment she’d gone, Lily turned back to James. “C’mon, out with it. Where’s Sirius?

James looked up from his telescope, which he’d gotten lined up once again and, to be safe, had locked into place so Lily couldn’t knock it off again. He considered her a moment. “He’s… checking up on…” James glanced back at Zosma, who was a little too close to have a completely open conversation. “Moony,” James finished.

Lily’s eyes widened. “He’s what?”

“You heard me,” James said. He started looking through the telescope as though he had an idea what he was looking at, trying to act natural so Zosma wouldn’t have a reason to come back over.

Lily had her hand on her hip, “Oh yes, he’s just gone to check up on the bloody werewolf!” she said, “That’s a right grand idea! Not mad at all!”

“Love, will you please refrain from using the W-word?” James asked, looking up from his scope.

Lily stared at him in disbelief, “How are you so calm about this?”

“Sirius knows what he’s doing, alright? Just relax, we have it under control.”

She looked aghast - so much so that James couldn’t help but snicker at her. Lily shook her head, “How in Merlin’s name does one have it under control when it comes to -- to mooniness?” she demanded, shooting a check toward Zosma and Peter.

James said, “He just does, alright?”

“What have you boys done?” Lily demanded.

“Why’s it always got to be what have you done?” James asked, “Why can’t it be I trust you and I’m sure you’ve got it under control?”

“Because it’s you lot,” Lily replied.

James grinned.

“Seriously, Potter.”

“Seriously, Evans, I can’t tell you.”

“But why?”

“Because.” James had gotten his textbook out and he sat now on the little stool by his telescope, flipping open to the pages they were assigned to be studying that night. He dragged his fingers across the information as he read it.

“Because why?” Lily persisted.

James looked up. He had to make her shut the bloody hell up. Luckily, he knew just the trick. “Look, Evans. I’ll tell you everything you want if you’ll give me a snog.”

Lily looked surprised, “What?”

“You heard me. You want information - you’ll have to pay for it. Snog with me for ten minutes in the common room when we get back and I’ll tell you the whole story top to bottom.”

Lily shook her head, “You’re ruddy impossible!” With that, she turned away, facing her back to him.

James smirked, glad she had shut up at last about Sirius. Although, he couldn’t help but think that it would’ve been nice if she’d agreed to it. Really, it was a win-win proposition for him.




Lily couldn’t stop worrying about Remus and Sirius and what was going on out in the Shrieking Shack. She told herself everything was alright and that James Potter would’ve been more worried if there was even a possibility of things going south, but then again James had also been incredibly calm during that brush with Lord Voldemort back in first year, she thought. James and his fear factor were not stable and they weren’t the best scale to measure against. It was churning her stomach, just thinking about all the ways Sirius going out there could go poorly. Remus wouldn’t ever forgive himself if something happened to Sirius! She worried and worried all through Astronomy, unable to focus on the stars they were studying.

When they got back to the common room, James went over to the fire to make himself a cup of tea before bed. Peter ran right up to the dormitory, eager to put away his telescope and books and get to sleep. Lily hovered by the stairs.

“Potter,” she called.

James looked up. “Evans?”

Lily hesitated. Then she hurried over, quick as a lightning bug, and put her palms on his shoulders and gave him the fastest little peck ever. She hadn’t even hit his mouth full on, but more on the chin or the cheek, only just catching the very corner of his lips on the right side. She pulled back, sick to her stomach. He blinked down at her, a bewildered expression on his big stupid face. Lily asked, “What’s that get me for information?”

James swallowed back the feelings that were coming bubbling up inside him. He had never in all his life had feelings like this and they were intense - almost scary because of how intense they were. He wanted something - something more. He wanted her lips fully on his, wanted to taste her and feel her breath and feel the weight of her pressed against him… His brains had gone all fuzzy and daft.

“I… uh…”

Lily gave him a look, prodding him forward, “Well?”

“I said ten minutes would get you the whole story,” James said.

“Yes, but what is one kiss worth?”

James fought with his brain for some smart answer but it was far too fuzzy still, so he shrugged, “He’ll be alright, Evans.”

“You’re certain?”

James nodded, “Beyond a doubt.”

Lily went up to bed and James turned back to the water that was now bubbling by the fire, but he no longer wanted any tea so he poured it out and brought himself up to his dormitory. He walked in and shed his school robes and put on his pyjamas in a daze.

He could still feel her hands on his shoulders if he concentrated on it hard enough.

Peter was still up, sitting on the bed, looking over the notes he’d taken in class. “You realize all of Sirius’s family is named after the star system we’re studying? The meteors next week - the Orionids? They’re running right through his family’s stars. Isn’t that funny?”

But James didn’t answer. He’d sat down on the edge of his bed, grinning like a lunatic, one hand on his face.

“Hullooo? James?” Peter clicked his fingers before James’s face. “Are you listening to me? Isn’t that funny about the Orionids?”

James nodded, “Yeah, very funny,” he murmured and, grinning still, he rolled over to go to sleep, eager to fall into dreams he knew would come.




Out in the Shrieking Shack, Sirius had stayed awake, lying on the stairs, watching the wolf all night. After awhile the wolf finally tired and gave in to the pain in his leg and laid down directly across the gap from Sirius. Both stared at the other long into the night. When he was quiet and relaxed and just lying there on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, it was not hard to imagine that the wolf was Remus, and Sirius found himself studying the wolf’s eyes, trying to see his mate in them. He was in there some place, Sirius knew it, just the way that Snuffles had been in him somewhere all along. The key would be finding a way to reach inside of him and draw it out.

Not long after the wolf finally fell asleep, Sirius watched through a narrow gap in the boarded up windows as the sun began to rise. As the rays of it sliced through the darkness of the room and fell on the wolf, the moonlight’s grip on his friend ended and soon it was just Remus there on the floor, whimpering and trying to move his leg, in pain though he was still asleep. Sirius got up and jumped back down to the floor, sliding himself beneath the injured leg so that Remus had it propped up on the furry black dog’s back. He seemed to relax better with it elevated - even in Gryffindor tower, Sirius had often gotten up during the night and slipped pillows beneath it for Remus over the last couple months. Sirius curled himself around Remus protectively, leaning his head against his side. Soon, he’d fallen asleep, too.

It was in this position that Remus found himself hours later when he woke up. He rubbed his eyes, tired but less battered than he usually felt after a full moon. He yawned and looked down, feeling fur against his hand and saw the dog. The big furry black creature had rolled onto his side, sprawled out, still propping up Remus’s bad leg, a puddle of drool beneath his slack jaw. “Sirius?” Remus asked, dazed He struggled, trying to sit up, waking the dog, who looked up at him, smacking his doggy lips tiredly, then stretched, yawning so that his long pink tongue lolled out of his mouth. “What are you doing out here?” Remus asked.

Sirius paused, concentrating on himself, and transformed back into a human boy. He crawled out from beneath Remus’s legs, carefully laying the injured one onto the floor. “Morning, Rey,” he said, grinning.

“What’re you doing here?” Remus asked again.

“I came out to be with you, didn’t I?” he replied. “Er - surprise?

Remus sputtered, “You figured it out. The animagus thing! You actually bloody figured it out.”

Sirius nodded, “I did.”

“Wow,” He looked quite impressed with this revelation and shook his head, “Blimey you’re nothing if you aren’t persistent.” Sirius grinned, “Thanks,” he said, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“I mean, definitely persistent, definitely insane, too, though, seeing as you’ve been cuddling with a werewolf…” Remus looked about, “Did we spend the whole night like that?” There were no signs of fighting, other than perhaps some disturbed dust, no blood, no great scars across Sirius’s body, no teeth marks. Remus was amazed.

“Not the whole night,” Sirius said, “I spent most of the night up there…” he pointed at the stairs, “But I jumped down when you changed back.”

“I didn’t try and kill you?” Remus was surprised.

Sirius shrugged, “Only once or twice.”

Remus’s eyes darkened. “Oh - is that all - you say that so casually, yeah, only once or twice, though!” Remus shook his head, “If I’d ever gotten you --”

“Then it would’ve been my own fault, but no listen, shut up, look - it’s morning,” Sirius said, waving his palm at the window. “We’re both still alive, we’re both alright. You didn’t kill me. You ended up laying down and going to sleep - which, by the way, your wolfish form snores even louder than your bloody boy form. Thought a bloody earthquake was rocking through!”

Remus stared at Sirius in disbelief.

“I thought the Shrieking Shack was going to topple over!” Sirius continued, smirking.

Remus shook his head, “Merlin’s beard,” he muttered, “You just don’t have any sense of fear, do you?”

“Sure I do!” said Sirius, “I do - I was scared pretty terrible when I jumped up here but you know what? I really think that perhaps if we learn a smidge more about wolf behavior, then we might be able to work through this so our animal forms get along together and I don’t have to stand on the stairs half the night. We’re both canines after all...” He grinned at Remus.

“You think you’re going to tame a bloody werewolf with some kind of crazy dog psychology?” Remus asked.

“Sure,” Sirius replied, “You were sending me these weird dog vibes about being the Alpha-male last night and… I dunno, if we can figure out a way to work with that…” He shrugged. “I’m saying it’ll take some work studying about it, but why the bloody hell not?” Sirius’s eyes were deadly serious as he said, “Rey… I will do whatever it takes so that you aren’t alone out here.”

Remus was positively stunned. He stared up at Sirius with wild eyes. He had never, in all of his life, known anyone to be as stubborn and as absolutely, completely mad as Sirius Black. Nobody had ever been willing to risk so much on his behalf. It was terrifying, the thought of the chances Sirius was taking (and the idea that he would sneak off in the dead of night and do it without even telling Remus about it), but it was also… exciting. It was the first time that he had allowed himself to feel the excitement of this entire hairbrained scheme of Sirius’s.

What if he was right? What if a werewolf, at the end of the day, was nothing more than just a regular wolf and really could be tamed by the power of doggy psychology? What if Sirius Black, a teenage boy with no inhibitions and an unwavering loyalty to his werewolf mate, had managed to crack a code that centuries of wizards never had? Simply by caring too much to give up?

Remus’s voice trembled. “You know, I never thought this could work but, golly maybe it could.”

Sirius nodded. Then, as they sat facing each other and the insanity of the whole situation sank in a wee bit, and Sirius started laughing. Remus laughed, too. He paused, looking down at his hands, then looked back up at Sirius, “You know, mate, you’re the best friend a fella could have, don’t you? I’m really lucky indeed.”

Sirius smiled, “I’m just glad you lot put up with me at all.”