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Lily

September seemed to pass by in a flash. The leaves on the Whomping Willow slowly turned gold and burnt orange and fell onto the grounds. There was a bite to the air that made Lily think of hot chocolate. She sat in the large window seat in her room, staring out across the grounds at the Forbidden Forest, which looked like a water color painting she’d once seen at an art Museum with Petunia and her parents. She missed Petunia more and more as the month wore on, as students built up big piles of leaves that had fallen and swung from tree branches below during free periods, and she buried herself in homework to keep from thinking about the fun she and Tuney used to have, picking apples and learning to bake pies. October had always been her favorite month, for Mrs. Evans had a lot of wonderful apple and pumpkin recipes and they made them all leading up to Halloween, her favorite holiday. She was dreading October’s arrival this year because it would be the first time she’d spent it away from home, and she knew she’d become homesick. Especially given her lack of friends at Hogwarts.

Alice Bell was in second year and that meant she had more classes than Lily, so although they were together during lunch and in the evenings after supper, they very rarely had any time during the days to hang out together. Severus was still being elusive and hadn’t spoken to Lily since their talk in the corridors outside of the Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, though he’d stared at her across the Great Hall every day. Remus had proven to be alright, but even after several meetings of the Slug Club, she still wasn’t ready to be around Remus Lupin outside of that setting. Especially since Remus was rarely away from James Potter and Sirius Black, neither of which she could stand. She didn’t understand how Remus could stomach the boys and she’d even asked him once on their way back to Gryffindor Tower from Professor Slughorn’s office.

“They’re just immature, mostly,” Remus explained. “Neither is really bad.”

“Sirius Black is a bully,” Lily argued, “And James Potter couldn’t be more arrogant if he tried.”

Remus shrugged, “James talks a big line but, you know, between me and you, I think he does it because his self-esteem is rubbish.”

Lily scoffed, “Uh huh.”

“Just my opinion, of course,” Remus said.

“And what’s Sirius Black’s excuse?” Lily demanded, “Not self-esteem as well?”

Remus replied, “Sirius’s family is his excuse.” He shrugged, “Doesn’t know any better, does he?”

“Maybe he should learn,” Lily suggested hotly.

“He will,” Remus answered. “Eventually.”

Remus’s words, of course, had not been enough to change Lily’s mind about the boys – and even if it had been, she would’ve changed back quickly enough as James and Sirius seemed to be especially obnoxious. But she would’ve been lying if she said that she didn’t start watching them a bit more carefully, thinking of the things they said and did through the new lens that Remus had provided her.

It was a Friday, the first of October, when Severus finally talked to Lily again.

She was sitting in the library, reading a book for a resource in a paper she was writing for Professor McGonagall and a little paper butterfly landed on the very tip of her nose. She blinked in surprise and when she moved the butterfly fell to the desk before her and unfolded to reveal itself as a note in disguise. She lifted the paper and read it over, recognizing Severus’s cramped handwriting.

Meet me in the Occlumency section.

“Occlumency section?” she breathed and she turned around to see the very bottom of his robes disappear behind a great stack of history books. She got up and tucked her parchment into her place in the Transfiguration book and quickly hurried in the direction he’d gone, ducking past the librarian, Madam Pince. Down the aisle she walked, following after Severus who was a couple yards ahead. When he turned a corner she hurried after him only to find he wasn’t there. “Sev?” she said quietly, looking around.

“Here I am,” he said from behind her, in a tiny alcove of books she hadn’t even noticed.

Lily looked around at the books that surrounded them. “What’s all this about, then?” she asked.

“I’ve figured out what’s going on with my dreams,” Severus replied. He held up a book that he’d been carrying, open to a page with an illustration of a man with several thought bubbles around his head, looking rather miserable. “I really have been seeing other people’s dreams.”

Lily’s eyes widened, “Really?”

“Yes,” Severus said. “It’s called Legilimency, being able to read other people’s minds, seeing their thoughts in my head, like I see my own.”

Lily stared gape-mouthed at him a moment. “But you only see their dreams, right?” she asked, suddenly nervous that maybe Severus was sifting around through her mind and she didn’t even know it.

“For now,” Severus answered, “But that’s how it starts. It’s a gift. There’s wizards who have learned it, but it’s really hard to learn it. If you have it naturally, like I do, it’s something you discover, just like you discovered you were magical.”

“Wow,” Lily whispered.

“It’s really rare,” Severus told her. “And I’m not only good at legilimency, but also at occlumency, which is when you block out other legilimens out so they can’t read your mind.”

Lily took the book from his hand and started ruffling through the pages slowly, “How did you find this?”

Severus hesitated. “One of the other… Slytherins,” he said.

“You told someone else about your dreams?” Lily asked, her feelings hurt.

Severus shook his head, “No, he’s a legilimens, too, and when he couldn’t see my mind, he asked how long I’d been studying occlumency. I looked it up and… I’ve read a load of books on it now and I’m pretty sure that’s what I’ve got.”

Lily looked up from the pages she was reading in the book that Severus had handed her. “It sounds like everything you’ve talked about happening,” she agreed. She pointed to the page, “They say you can learn to purposefully practice it, too. Are you going to?”

“Why not,” Severus answered. “Could be interesting, if nothing else, and maybe if I learn how to better control it I could actually get some sleep at night and see my own dreams for once.” He grinned at the thought of it.

Lily thought about how much she’d always taken her own dreams for granted and how odd it must be to be unsure if one had ever had their own dreams or only experienced the dreams of others all of their life. Severus’s wistful expression made her feel almost guilty for having never experienced the strange phenomenon he was going through.

“I thought maybe you’d want to help me,” Severus said quietly.

“Help you?” Lily asked.

“Yeah,” Severus answered, “Practice legilimency, I mean.”

“How could I help you? I haven’t got it.”

Severus shrugged, “You’re really smart. Maybe between the two of us we could figure out how the best way to learn how to control it would be and you could help me… you know… practice.”

“By letting you see my mind?” she asked nervously.

“Yeah,” said Severus.

Lily wasn’t sure she wanted to let Severus see her mind. The idea that there could be others like him in Hogwarts made her uneasy, and those were people she didn’t even know, not to mention him, who she did know. She thought of all the doubts and fears she had that she kept buried deep inside, all her secrets. He’d know all of them. She stared at him. Did she really want Severus Snape to have all of her?

“You can think on it,” he suggested.

“Okay, I will,” she answered.

He smiled. “I’ve really missed you, Lily,” he said.

She blushed, “I’ve missed you, too, Sev.”

Severus nodded awkwardly. “Well. Okay. I better go. Can we meet here again? Maybe Monday after lunch?”

“I have Herbology after lunch,” Lily replied.

“After that, then? Before Supper?” Severus asked.

“Don’t you have classes?”

Severus shrugged. “Just potions.”

“Slughorn’s teaching a shrinking potion this week,” Lily said, “You wouldn’t want to miss that.”

“I’ve known how to make a shrinking potion since I was a kid,” Severus said with a shrug. “I’d rather spend some time with you. Besides, I’ll only be skiving off the second half of a double potions. I’ll go to the first half anyway.”

Lily hesitated.

“Please? It’s the perfect time for us to start looking for answers and all… All the other Slytherins will be busy in classrooms. Nobody will be able to judge us.” Severus gave her the saddest puppy eyes she’d ever seen.

“Okay, alright,” Lily sighed.

He pumped the air excitedly. “It’s a date, then.”

“Yes, a study date,” Lily answered.

“Exactly,” Severus said, nodding.