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The Grim


Sirius spent the night at the inn in Hogsmeade with Bilius Weasley, who was afraid to be alone in case he died because of seeing The Grim. Part of Sirius considered telling Bilius that it’d been him, not the real Grim, just to calm him down, but he held back and simply stayed in the room while Bilius worried away the night, staring out the window, talking about all the great pranks he and Derek Bell had pulled off ‘back in the day’, as though they’d been at Hogwarts decades ago...

Sirius wondered if that’s what it was like when you lost a best mate, if time sort of stood still on a clock and things sped up all around you, stuck in that moment. He shuddered to think of it. You’ll never know what it’s like, he promised himself, though he knew he didn’t have the authority over life and death to promise such a thing. He just couldn’t imagine a fate that was so cruel… But he knew if he ever did have to experience a thing like Bilius Weasley had done, that he’d at least want to have someone there who would listen to him talk and ramble through the night. He wanted to believe that, if fate was cruel enough to take away all he had that it might might be merciful enough to at least give him someone to listen to his pain.

And so he was that for Bilius Weasley.

But it had left him as emotionally drained as a boy of fourteen (nearly fifteen now) should ever be, and at sunrise, when Bilius had finally - finally fallen asleep, Sirius had staggered his way back to the Shrieking Shack. He had been hoping to find Remus there, but the Shack was empty. Of course, by then, Remus should’ve been long back to the castle. He was probably tucked up, safe in bed at the dormitory, Sirius told himself, and he’d thought how he wanted nothing more than to go back to Gryffindor Tower and transform into Snuffles and curl up next to Rey.

The thought of seeing Remus made him remember that the night had not been a complete failure, even though every possible thing that could’ve gone wrong with his plan had managed to go wrong (actually none of the rubbish that had gone on would’ve gone on at all if he hadn’t have attempted it at all), but at least he’d realized that he was being foolish. Remus didn’t have a boyfriend. But he was going to - Sirius; if he’d still have him.

As he walked through the tunnel in the dark, he imagined what it would be like to tell Remus how he felt. He pictured the long talk, sitting in chairs by the fire and maybe sipping some hot tea that would warm their bellies after the cold of the night with that nasty dusting of snow that was now half melted away. He imagined the face Rey would make and he wondered if maybe instead of in chairs by the fire with tea if he should maybe wake Remus up the moment he got there, shake his shoulder ‘til his eyes popped open and just blurt it out and kiss him… He pictured the way Remus’s eyes would widen with surprise and then narrow with suspicion and then melt with realization and it made him tingle to think of those honey-brown hazel eyes…

And suddenly he was to the lever and pulling himself out of the tunnel and running away from the violent tree, his heart racing with every step because each one of them was that much closer he was to changing everything.

Sirius reached the front doors and he shoved his way in and was shaking the last bits of snow from the collar of his leather jacket when he heard two voices explode in relieved exclamation. “MERLIN’S BEARD, THERE YOU ARE!” bellowed James, leaping into Sirius with a bone-crushing hug that nearly popped his eyes out with the strength of it.

“Finally!” The second voice was Lily Evans, who hovered a couple steps behind, watching as James reacted to Sirius’s arrival with exuberance. Lily looked over Sirius’s shoulder. “Where’s Remus?” she asked.

Sirius looked up from James’s excitement. “What do you mean where’s Remus?” he asked, “Isn’t he back here yet? It’s after noon.”

Lily shook her head, “No… No isn’t he with you?”

James looked alarmed suddenly and stopped dancing about. “Wait, you mean he’s not with you?”

“No…” Sirius said, then, desperate, “You’re sure he hasn’t come in?”

‘“Mate, we haven’t left this spot at all, all day,” James said.

“Not even once,” Lily backed him up. They’d even taken in in turns to do things like go to the bathroom and fetch some toast and pumpkin juice from the Great Hall.

Sirius turned around quick, reaching for the door. “Wait, where are you going now?” panicked Lily.

“To find Remus,” Sirius replied.

Lily ran ‘round James and Sirius and slid between him and the door, blocking the handle and spreading her arms wide to keep him from getting to it. “No,” she said roughly, “No. We got to Dumbledore. We have to. If there’s something the matter - if he’s injured - he’ll need more help than any of the three of us can provide and if Dumbledore does, he can disapparate him to St. Mungo’s.”

Sirius shook his head, and started to try and squeeze past her for the door handle. “No, I need to --”

“NO, SIRIUS,” Lily shrieked, “NO!” and they started fighting, Lily grabbing Sirius’s arm as he pushed her gently aside for the handle, and she yanked at him, tugging him backward with all her strength, “Every time we gto on these rescue missions somebody ends up hurt! NO!”

James stood watching, dumbfounded, clearly not sure who to help - best mate or beautiful girl.

“What is going on here!?” it was Professor McGonagall, coming down the grand staircase. She still looked upset, James noticed, and her eyes were red and tired and the lines in her face were more pronounced than ever, as though she hadn’t slept a wink. She walked quickly down and wrenched Sirius and Lily apart. “Mr. Black, you ought to be ashamed for yourself, fighting with a young lady like that!”

Sirius looked abashed. “Sorry, Evans, but next time move out of my damn way,” he said roughly.

“Next time, don’t be trying to be a heroic idiot!” she answered.

McGonagall said, “For heaven’s sake! What is this about?”

They all stared about at each other, all of them wondering how candid they could be with Professor McGonagall. Did she know about Remus’s condition? The only one they knew for sure knew was Dumbledore. Finally Lily said, “Professor, we need to talk to Dumbledore - Remus Lupin’s missing.”

James marvelled at how well she’d worded it. She’d managed to say it in a way that, should she know she’d understand and if she didn’t know then she would still know there was a problem. That Lily Evans was positively brilliant.

Professor McGonagall’s face fell even further. She loosened her grip on Sirius and Lily. “I’m afraid that he is not missing, but he shall be gone for sometime… Come with me to my office, and I’ll explain…” She turned, headed back for the stairs.

Sirius and Lily hurried to follow after McGonagall, but James moved a bit slower, a surreal sort of feeling coming over him as he walked, dizzying him. Something had happened, he realized, and whatever it was had happened to Remus. Please let him be alright, please, please, he begged whatever gods might be listening as they walked up the stairs to the Transfiguration corridor and Professor McGonagall opened her office door.

Inside, seated, the three Gryffindors sat staring up at Professor McGonagall, who lowered herself behind her desk with the heaviest sigh they’d ever heard. She shook her head sadly, closing her eyes, her lips pursed unhappily, and she reached for a handkerchief on her desk, which James recognized was still the one he’d given her. She clutched it in her fist after she’d dabbed her eyes with it, and finally, she took a deep breath, “Mr. Lupin will be away from the castle for at least one week,” she said.

Sirius exploded, “What?! Why!?”

“Is he alright?” begged Lily.

“He’s not at St. Mungo’s again??” James cried.

McGonagall shook her head, “His father’s been murdered,” she explained.




Sirius lay in his bed in Gryffindor Tower, staring across the dormitory at Remus’s empty bed. There was a general air of sadness hanging over the room. Peter sat up in his bed, hugging his knees, feelings stirring up in himself, remembering hearing about his mum… that hollow feeling regurgitated itself within him and he felt very sorry for Remus. James was pacing across the width of the room at the end of the beds.

“I should be there for him,” Sirius murmured, “He shouldn’t be alone. I wish I knew how to disapparate, I’d go to him wherever he is and --” He didn’t know and then what, but he knew he’d have done anything to go and be with Remus at that moment. Sirius imagined grabbing onto a broomstick and flying off from one of the spires of the school, over the distance all the way to London to find him.

“He’s with Dumbledore,” James reminded Sirius. “Wherever he’s at, he’s with Dumbledore.”

“He should be with me,” Sirius said firmly.




Bilius Weasley woke up in the late afternoon. He looked about the room, sitting up, and feeling as though the air were thicker than it ought to be. He looked through the window, at the high Bell towers looming over the trees. It was the first time in nearly a year that his mind had been completely clear of alcohol, having not drank a drop since the night before, on his way to the clearing by the Shrieking Shack.

He’d really asked for it, he thought, seeing the Grim. Going to the Shrieking Shack on a Halloween night? What had he been thinking! The place was a known haunt for violent ghouls… but he supposed deep down he’d been hoping to encounter a ghost. He’d been hoping to find someone who knew the afterlife, who could tell him that Derek was alright, wherever he was.

As scared as he was, though, he realized that some part of him had been sort of relieved by the idea of the Grim. Finally, he had thought, my pain’s going to end. I’m going to die, too, and then I’ll know whether Derek’s alright or not. I’ll be able to ask him myself when I get there… When the Grim had come flying over the fence at him, Bilius had closed his eyes, and given up.

Now, he wondered how long he had before the effects of seeing the Grim would claim him. He shivered in his bed and waited.

When an hour of just straight up waiting had gone by without a single thing happening, Bilius finally got up. He started grabbing his things, shoving them into his bag, heart racing. He needed to go and see his big brother. Arthur would know what to do. Arthur always knew what to do. Bilius flung his bag about his neck and he took the room key and rushed down the stairs, dropping the key onto the counter by the receptionist witch and hurried out the door, where he quickly turned on the spot and disapparated.

He stumbled as he appeared in Ottery St. Catchpole, just at the edge of the property his brother lived on. The tiny house stood in the midst of a clearing ahead, and Bilius ran up the path, past a duck pond and a small barn that he knew contained oodles of random muggle things Arthur had collected over the years and enjoyed tinkering with. He knocked on the door of the Burrow, a bit frantic.

Molly Weasley opened the door, little Charlie on her hip, dripping with green mushy peas from his cheeks. The moment her eyes landed on Bilius, saw his upset, panicked expression, she called out, “ARTHUR!” then, to Bilius, “Are you sober, then?”

“Yes,” he said thickly, “Yes, I’m sober. I need Arthur’s help… Please, Molly.”

She stepped aside and let him in, examining him as he walked, making sure he wasn’t going to be staggering about in a stupor as he’d done last time he’d been at the Burrow, before she’d made Arthur ask him to leave, for the children’s sake.

“Uncle Bil!” little Bill came running about the frame of the door and ran for Bilius, his arms outstretched as he ran over, excited to see his uncle. It had been months before Bill had stopped asking for Uncle Bilius to read him his bedtime story after he’d left. Molly stiffened as Bilius knelt down to hug Bill, afraid of what Bill would do whe Bilius left again.

Arthur came into the kitchen, “Biluis!” he exclaimed. Molly was looking at him with wide, question-filled eyes of worry, and he reigned in his excitement to do the sobriety check. “You’ve stopped drinking? Is that what I can assume your return here is for?”

Bilius released Bill and the little boy ran to go and get some toy of his to show his uncle. Bilius turned to Arthur, and despite having been talking in a low, friendly voice to the toddler, his eyes were rimmed with red and his face pale with dread. “I need… to talk to you.”

“What’s happened?” Arthur asked.

Bilius’s voice cracked with all the worry he’d been carrying, “Arthur… I’ve seen the Grim.”

Arthur and Molly looked at each other.

Afraid they’d think he was drunk, Bilius said, “Please. I wasn’t the only one that’s seen it. Sirius Black was there…”

“Sirius Black?” Molly asked, confused.

“Yes I was down in Hogsmeade, by the Shrieking Shack --”

“What was Sirius Black doing outside of the grounds of Hogwarts during the school year?” Arthur asked, “And not on a Hogsmeade trip?” He looked at Molly, who had the same concerned look on her face.

Bilius’s eyes narrowed, “I… I dunno,” he said. Then, upset that they weren’t more worried about what he was saying, he exclaimed, “You lot realize I’ve seen the Grim and that means I’m going to die!”

“Bil,” Molly said gently, seeing her brother in law was truly frightened, “That’s… that’s just a story… a silly tale people tell to frighten one another… a superstition…”

Bilius looked at Arthur, the nervousness clear in his eyes. “But -- I’m just so -- I don’t want to be alone -- when it happens -- and… what if I see it again? What if --”

“You’ll stay here,” Arthur said.

“So long as you’re sober!” Molly added quickly.

“Yes, no drinking - not a drop,” Arthur agreed.

“And you’ll help about the house,” Molly said.

“Anything,” Bilius agreed.

Bill suddenly ran back into the room and he was carrying a little wood hippogriff, “Uncle Bilus… Uncle Bilius,” he begged, grabbing onto the hem of Bilius’s shirt and tugging, “Look at my hippogriff…”

Bilius lowered so he was squatting beside the little boy. “Let me see… what’s he do, Bill?” he asked.

“Look, he flies.” Bill tossed the hippogriff into the air… and he flapped his wood wings and swept about in circles.

Molly looked at Arthur as Charlie gurbled and pawed at her hair. “We’re going to have to add onto the house, if he’s staying a good deal,” she whispered.

Arthur nodded. “I’ll work on that tomorrow. He can help me.”

They both stood, watching as the hippogriff flew circles ‘round Bill and Bilius as they sat cross-legged on the floor, facing one another, Bill talking in rushed youngster-speak, telling Bilius all about a gnome he’d found in the garden earlier that day and how cranky he’d been, tossing mud about.

Arthur looked at Molly, “Thanks for letting him stay… he doesn’t scare easily,” he whispered. “Never did before, anyway.”

Molly nodded. She’d been worried about Bilius anyway, part of her was glad he was back. “I’ll need a new hand for my clock Arthur,” she added.

Arthur looked over at the clock - a Prewett Family heirloom, which indicated the location of her family. On the clock hung hands with pictures at the end, smiling pictures. Currently there were six - Arthur, Charlie, Bill, Molly, and her brothers, Fabian and Gideon Prewett.

“I’ll go to Diagon Alley tomorrow and get one from the old clock maker,” Arthur promised. “We’ll get it while we’re getting the supplies for the add-on.” He nodded.

Molly hugged him and they watched as Bilius magicked the hippogriff to do great loops and turns that it hadn’t been doing before. Bill was clapping happily and Bilius was smiling, though his eyes were still filled with the fear of the Grim.