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Weird Feelings


Sirius’s plan was a simple one - once Remus calmed down and actually listened to it, even he had to agree there was very little room for error within it - and so they enacted it first thing in the morning. Sirius and Remus waited about at the end of the corridor that Filch’s office was located on, pretending to be waiting for James and Peter to go down to breakfast. The story was that they’d had to go back to the Gryffindor common room for a textbook they’d forgotten… but in reality, Peter had gone to tell Peeves about the shiny clean entrance hall floor while James got into position, going the long way through the castle to hide beside a suit of armor just down the hall from Filch’s office door…

Within no time at all, Peeves had mussed up the freshly cleaned floor, Filch had gone for the bucket and mop, James used Sirius’s knife and an adept accio charm to collect the map and they’d all run together down to the entrance hall, ducking away from Peeves’ balls of ectoplasm that he was tossing about tall over the entrance hall, much to the caretaker’s dismay.

“All in all, that was one of the smoother schemes you’ve hatched,” Remus said to Sirius solemnly. “Good job.”

Sirius grinned, tucking the Map safely into his bookbag. “Well thank you, my dear Moony, and what do I get for that?” Sirius puffed his cheek out and tapped it in Remus’s direction.

Turning red, Remus looked around, “We’re in the Great Hall. You’ll get your payment later.”

“Hear that, mates,” Sirius said, sitting down opposite Peter, who’d already arrived and was waiting for them with a plate full of sausages, “I’ll be getting paid later so you may want to keep to the common room.” He winked at James as he sat, too.

James started pulling food toward himself, “Now that we’ve got that taken care of, we can start worrying about the real issue. Like what Mopsus was thinking getting us off from Filch like that.”

“And also how we’re gonna keep a repeat of this happening again. We need to figure out a way to keep the Map a secret. Maybe smaller or - or so it self destructs or… or maybe it goes invisible so nobody that isn’t meant to see it can....” He looked at Remus.

“Hang on, am I the only person in the world that can come up with spells?” Remus asked, but he was smiling even as he said it.

“You’re the only one that comes up with brilliant spells,” Sirius replied.

James shook his head, “I doubt there’s a spell to make it invisible only to certain people…”

“It could go invisible when one of us isn’t touching it,” Sirius suggested. “Maybe it can tell it’s us touching it somehow and it goes invisible otherwise.”

“We’d lose it,” James pointed out.

Peter looked up, “We could put some sort of tracking device on it.”

“Or maybe the whole thing doesn’t go invisible, maybe just the words, like invisible ink,” Remus murmured, remembering an idea he’d had back at Christmas, when they’d received the ink from Lily.

Sirius perked up, “That would be bloody brilliant. You can do that?”

“I dunno. Maybe. I haven’t researched the theory yet. But I will. After the full moon.”




Next day was the full moon and Sirius gave Peter and James very strict instructions to stay in Gryffindor Tower until the other two boys got back so that nothing fishy would go on with Mopsus while they were gone. “We’ll deal with him and his odd behavior when we get back - and we’ll get the map fixed, too,” Sirius said.

“You don’t have to tell me twice to avoid Mopsus,” said Peter.

Sirius shoved all the stuff the boys would need for the night into his bag, taking extra sweaters for Remus and shrugged on his leather jacket and long scarf as Remus dug his own scarf out of his trunk. Another cold night on the way, Remus was already bundled up even in the early afternoon. Sirius wrapped his arm ‘round his shoulder, “Got everything you need?” he asked.

“Let me think. Got myself… headed for the shack… got you… I’m good.”

Sirius grinned and looked ‘round at James and Peter, “Stay out of trouble. I mean it, you two.”

James, who was playing catch-and-release with the snitch snorted, “Because it’s us two that usually starts the trouble…”

Peter smirked, “I’ll try to resist my usual instinct to instigate trouble.”

They all laughed and Sirius ruffled Peter’s hair and guided Remus out the door, “See you lot tomorrow afternoon.”




Sirius stood in the Shrieking Shack, looking through the cracks in the boarded up windows at the snowy field outback. Remus was setting out blankets across the couch and the floor, setting logs on fire in the hearth… Sirius leaned against the frame of the window, resting his forehead against his arm as he stared, watching the wind blow the branches gently.

“...be colder than it is now, but still, I think we’ll be all situated…” Remus was saying from across the room behind him. Remus looked up from the nest of blankets he’d made on the floor, where he pictured the two dogs lying together to brave the night, and saw Sirius staring out the window. “Padfoot… you alright?”

Sirius nodded.

Remus watched him a minute, but Sirius didn’t move, he just kept staring off. Finally, Remus crawled off the nest of blankets and, bones cracking with stiffness, he struggled to get to his feet to approach Sirius. He wrapped his arms around Sirius from behind, sliding his hands over Sirius’s stomach and clasping his palms at the front of him, pressing his cheek against Sirius’s shoulder. He closed his eyes, breathing the smell of Sirius in, the smell of the old, cracking leather of his jacket…

Remus slid his hands up over Sirius’s chest, his fingers gliding beneath the jacket, pushing it backward, over Sirius’s shoulders, which he rolled back, letting the jacket slip off him. Remus dropped the jacket over the stair bannister beside them and turned back to press his face against Sirius’s shoulder again, the softness of his worn t-shirt against his cheek and nose… Remus could feel Sirius’s muscles flexing beneath the thin layer of fabric. Sirius could feel Remus’s breath on his back, warm and faster than it normally was - an effect of the moon… he started breathing with heavier, faster puffs, like his wolf form, the closer the moon came… His eyelashes, too, brushed Sirius’s skin. But Remus’s eyelashes were always long and thick.

“You know the one thing I don’t hate about being… what I am?” Remus murmured against Sirius’s back.

“What?” Sirius asked lowly.

Remus nuzzled his nose against the nape of Sirius’s neck. “I can tell what people are feeling…” he whispered, “Like I sense it… it’s almost… tangible…” His lips lightly brushed Sirius’s skin as he spoke. “You’re sad. Why?”

Sirius closed his eyes, letting his senses fully feel Remus’s mouth.. Remus’s touch as he brought his hands back across Sirius’s stomach where they’d been originally, buckling his fingers together at Sirius’s belly button. “I just have this really… really weird feeling,” Sirius said, “And… I dunno, it came over me fairly suddenly. I just - when we got here, I was thinking about the four of us, you and me and Peter and James, and all this weird stuff going on with Mopsus… and…” he shook his head.

“Weird how?”

“Something serious is going on.”

Remus kissed Sirius’s shoulder gently. He had a small mole on his left shoulder there by the base of his neck on the back. Remus had never noticed it before. He stared at it for a long moment, suddenly desperate to know every part of Sirius, to commit every freckle to memory… He kissed beside the mole gently. “You worry so much,” whispered Remus. “You always worry about all of us. I know, I can feel it exuding off you…”

“You lot mean everything to me,” Sirius said.

Remus slowly slid his hands up Sirius’s shirt, across his back, running his fingers along his spine. Sirius hummed and arched his back to Remus’s touch until he’d run his palms ‘round his torso over his ribs and pulled himself back in to press his chest against Sirius’s back, his palms over Sirius’s pecs, his wrists crossing over as he held himself tight against Sirius. “We’re going to be alright, Sirius. Whatever comes… We’re invincible, remember? That’s what you’ve always said.”

Sirius said, “Some days I believe that easier than others. Some days, I need to convince myself of it because if I don’t, I’ll go mad… wondering which of us will be… first… first to --” He stopped, shaking his head. “I can’t tell you how much that scares me.”

Remus’s throat tightened. “No, shh. Don’t think that stuff. We’re going to be alright. You told the lads to stay in the dormitories, they’re going to - they’re safe. Mopsus can’t get them. And when we get back, like you said, we’ll figure it out together.”

“I know. I just have this weird feeling.”

“Did you want to go back?” Remus whispered.

“No,” Sirius answered. “I don’t want to leave you.”

Remus sighed overly dramatically, “It’s what happens when you’re in love with the hero type… always running off to save the day…”

Sirius laughed lightly.

“I’m serious,” Remus whispered, then he added, “Shh. Don’t you dare make that joke.” Sirius smirked to himself - he’d been just about to do it. “If you wanna go in and check on them… I understand. Mopsus would have to be mad to try to attack me. And even if he did stupidly give it a go, I think a werewolf can take an old man like that -- assuming he even makes it through the tunnel all the way.”

Sirius hesitated… then shook his head, “No. You’re right. I’m being silly. They’ll be fine. We’re all going to be fine.”

“That’s the spirit,” Remus whispered.

Sirius laughed and turned ‘round so that he was looking at Remus, his back against the frame of the window. “I want to stay here - right here - with you, where it’s safe.”

Remus smiled as Sirius pulled him closer, resting his head against Remus’s wooly moony sweater and he wrapped his arms ‘round to the back, hooking them over his shoulders. Sirius felt vulnerable. Remus could feel it. He closed his eyes and just held him…




It was much later that night. The fire in the hearth had gone out in the Gryffindor common room. The moonlight spread pale blue highlights and dark black shadows across the room… Up in the dormitory, Peter and James were asleep… when suddenly Peter sat up, his heart in his throat.

Peeeeter….

Peter looked over. “James,” he whispered, “James, wake up.”

James didn’t wake.

Peter got up, inching over the gap between his bed and James’s and he reached for James’s shoulder…

Peter…. And then… Peter felt a strange… dream like feeling come over him… as though all of the cares of the world had been lifted away… It was as though his consciousness was sort of hanging back…

Peter turned away from James’s bed… reaching for the door… slipping out of the dormitory… and down the stairs through the Gryffindor common room… The portrait hole swung open… and Peter Pettigrew ducked through… quite out of control of himself as the imperius curse burned its way through his veins...