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A Spirit to Speak With


“Alright you lot, on your feet!” Sirius said, banging open the door to the dormitory.

James looked up from his bed, where he was sitting with his knees folded before him, his History of Magic textbook balanced on his feet. “What?”

Peter was laying in bed, back-to, pretending to be asleep, even though it was barely even lunch time. He’d ignored James’s arrival nearly twenty minutes before, and was determined to ignore Sirius and Remus, too.

Sirius let go of Remus’s hand as he walked in, clutching a large mantel clock to his chest. “Get the Map, Moony. And your jumper. You’ll want two. Wear that red one, with the funny arm patch thingies - I’m not listening to you moan how cold you are. Get up, Peter!” He grabbed hold of Peter’s duvet and yanked.

“Stop it!” Peter snapped and he grabbed onto the duvet and pulled it back over himself, “Just leave me be so you lot won’t have to put up with me.”

“Stop playing the victim, Pete, and get up,” Sirius said, too filled with adrenaline to remember his earlier promise to Remus about thinking things over in his head before saying them, “You know we don’t just put up with you, bloody hell you’re one of the Marauders. Get thicker skin mate, you know we don’t just put up with you.”

“Maybe I don’t wanna put up with you lot,” Peter snapped, and he pulled his blanket clear over his head.

“Pete, come now, seriously,” Sirius sad with a roll of his eyes. “We haven’t the time for one of your pity parties, we have a Spirit to speak with.”

“A spirit?” James asked, sitting up straighter, his textbook slipping off his knee, “What’re you on about, Black?”

“We’ll tell you when we get there.”

“Out where?” James demanded.

Sirius gestured to the Forbidden Forest through the wide dormitory window.

“Are you mad? It’s a school night,” James said.

“Are you mad? That’s literally never stopped us before.”

“Yeah but… O.W.L.s, Sirius…”

Sirius shook his head, “Bloody hell, Prongs, you aren’t going soft on me, are you?”

“No…”

“Then fuck the O.W.L.s, mate! This is more important than grades anyways!” Sirius grabbed Peter’s duvet again and ripped it right off the bed and chucked it into a corner. “GET UP, PETER!”

Peter looked very angry and hot tears were pooling in the corners of his eyes, but he did get up and he pushed his feet into his shoes and sat there sourly waiting for the other boys to get their jumpers and shoes on and Sirius tangled his hair up in a great knot at the back of his head, shoving his wand through the epicenter, tugging his leather jacket on and tying an extra jumper ‘round his waist - which was more intended for Moony than it was for himself because he knew despite what he’d said Rey would still be cold later.

They passed through the common room, Sirius with his arm around Remus, who was looking quite pale and odd as he stumbled along. Lily was just coming down the stairs, actually looking for Ali Prewitt, but found the four Marauders walking toward the portrait hole and she ran over, “Are you lot going to lunch?” she asked and she flushed at how odd her voice sounded and felt a weird flutter in her belly when James looked over at her.

“I dunno where we’re going, Sirius won’t tell us,” James said.

“What? What’re you doing with that clock? You aren’t defacing Hogwarts property again, are you, Sirius Black?” Lily demanded.

“This isn’t Hogwarts property,” Sirius said darkly.

Lily followed them out the portrait hole. She looked to Peter, “Are you alright, Peter? You look upset?”

“Don’t worry your head about me, Evans,” he replied, “I’m not worth worrying over, since you all just put up with me and all.”

“Bloody hell, Pete, I’m sorry,” James said, stopping and grabbing Peter by the shoulders, “I was an arsehole for what I said to you earlier. I don’t just put up with you, mate, you’re one of my best friends. Really. I mean that.” He bent low to stare into Peter’s eyes. “I was hurtin’ and I just wanted somebody else to hurt too and you happened to be in my path of destruction and I’m really sorry. Please forgive me.”

Lily’s eyes widened as she watched this exchange.

Peter’s teary-edged eyes stared up at James, “You… mean it, Prongs?” he asked tremulously.

“Cross my heart, Wormtail.”

Peter hugged James, launching himself up to wrap his arms about James’s neck, “You’re my best friend, too, James,” he said weepily.

James awkwardly patted Peter’s back a couple good thumps and pulled away, smiling. “We alright now, mate?” he asked.

Peter nodded and wiped his eyes with the back of his fists.

“Okay so are we finished with the mushy bullshit now?” Sirius demanded, looking impatient, one arm about Rey, the other about the clock.

“Says the man with his arm about his boyfriend,” muttered James out of the corner of his mouth to Lily, who giggled manically and James stared at her with a look on his face that clearly asked what the hell?

Sirius said, “In case you haven’t noticed, my boyfriend is in pain and needs the mushy bullshit about now. So his is a special exception. His need for mushy bullshit is literally the purpose of this adventure.”

“Adventure?” Lily looked about in interest. “Is that what we’re doing?”

“It’s what we’re doing,” James answered.

They started walking down the hall and Lily followed after them quickly.

They passed by clusters of students headed to lunch and out the front door of the castle onto the grounds. Peter kept glancing up at Lily, though James carefully stayed on the opposite side of the group from her, sliding down the grass toward the treeline of the forest.

Remus’s mind was spinning, his heart racing. He was going to see his father again. For the very last time. He felt sick to his stomach at the thought of it. What would Lyall Lupin say to his son? Remus didn’t think he could handle it if they busted open that old clock and Lyall came out only to lecture Rey the way he’d done last time they’d met… And what would Remus say to Lyall? What do you say to someone when you know beyond a doubt it would be the very last time that you ever saw them? It was a chilling thought, planning out the very last words you’d ever say to your father…

“Moony, my love…” Sirius leaned close to him, “Are you okay?”

Remus shook his head.

“We can still turn back if you change your mind.”

“No. I haven’t changed my mind,” Remus replied. “I’m just trying to figure out what to say to him… what he’ll say to me…”

“Say to who?” Peter spoke up.

Lily, who’d overheard the conversation going on in Dumbledore’s office before, put her hand on Remus’s back and hugged him from the side opposite Sirius. “I can’t imagine, Rey,” she said quietly.

James asked, “Imagine what?”

Sirius stopped and he turned ‘round to face the other two boys. “It’s like this… this clock…” he turned the clock in his arms so they could see the face, “This came from Rey’s house. And it’s - it’s got Remus’s dad’s spirit in it.”

Peter shivered.

“What?” James stared at the clock and took a slight step back, his face contorted strangely. “Why?”

“Because of Mopsus,” Lily breathed.

They all looked at her.

“I didn’t get to finish telling you lot about what I heard at the door. Fabian and Gideon interrupted me and…” Lily paused, “They reckon he - he killed Mr. Lupin by… by accident.” She felt her face flush. She couldn’t look Rey in the eyes suddenly, afraid he’d see that there was more to it - that his dad had been so depressed in his last days that his suicidal thoughts had drawn to him a time thief… She bit her lip.

James looked from Lily to the clock, “And… Mopsus put him in the clock?”

“His spirit’s bound to the clock,” Sirius said. “Mopsus stole Mr. Lupin’s time, see. All those bloody clocks in his office? They were all people whose time had been stolen from him… and we gotta destroy this thing in order to set Mr. Lupin free and get rid of Mopsus once and for all.”

“Well bloody hell what’re we waiting for then?” James raised his wand.

“Hang on!” Sirius said and he turned so James couldn’t hex the clock, “Rey’s gotta do it.”

Remus stared at the bracken.

Lily ran her hand over Remus’s shoulder comfortingly, but he didn’t react, he just stared at the leaves.

“Dumbledore says that… that when we destroy it, Lyall’s spirit will come out and… and Moony’s gonna have a chance to -- to see his dad again. Just one last time.” Sirius clutched the clock and relaxed his stance as James lowered his wand. “That’s why we’re coming out here to do it. So Moony can hex it and his dad can be freed… so there’s a spot of privacy. Merlin knows we wouldn’t get the privacy back at the castle.”

James nodded.

Peter was staring at the clock. “So we’ve come out here to… to see a ghost, then.”

“Yes,” Sirius said.

“You were… you were serious about talking with a spirit. Bloody hell.” His face was several shades paler than it usually was.

Lily turned to Remus, “You must be frightened.”

“Terrified,” Remus replied. “What if… what if he says all those things… the things he said last time I saw him? What if he still hates me and he - he says something awful?”

Lily looked at him apologetically.

Remus hung his head. “I’ve been ashamed of myself my whole life… of what I am, what I become…”

“Moony, you know that we --”

“Hang on, Sirius,” Remus said, “Lemme say this.” He took a deep breath and balled his fists, flexing his fingers nervously, “I’ve been ashamed my whole life of what I am and what I become, of being a werewolf… of being different… I’ve been afraid to stand out because I didn’t want anyone to know what I was. I came to Hogwarts terrified that someone would know my secret. I - I think that fear… that shame I had before, I think it stemmed from my father’s disapproval… from his desire to suppress and hide me… it came from never feeling good enough for him all of my life… I bloody never would’ve believed that the best damn thing to ever happen to me was a load of idiots figuring me out… but it is. You lot have been the brightest stars in my life… you make the moon seem dimmer.” He smiled awkwardly. “So if I’ve got to face him now, my father, I’m just so bloody happy that it’s you idiots that I’m going to have beside me when I do.” He looked at Lily, “And you, Evans. You’re not an idiot, but I’m glad you’re here, too.”

She laughed through tears.

James clapped Rey on the back, pushing Evans aside, “You’re an idiot, too, Rey.”

Sirius laughed, “Biggest idiot I know.”

Peter smiled and scrambled over too, between Lily and James and tugged Lily in so that they would be included, too. James flung his second arm about Peter, his palm landing on Lily’s shoulder and he looked over Peter’s head at her and he winked.

Lily’s breath caught in her throat.

“Alright,” Sirius said, wiping tears from his eyes as discreetly as possible, “Now we’re done with all the mushy bullshit for real, right? ‘Cos bloody hell, people, we’re never gonna destroy this clock at this rate!”




The troop of them walked through the woods until they came to the pebbly beach by the Black Lake where the Marauders had played with the stick that day the term before - the morning after Sirius and James had gotten high - and Sirius was wishing Lily wasn’t there, he’d burst out into Snuffles and run about and play again because the smell of the mid-afternoon air in that clearing was thick with the smell of trees and dirt and water and adventure… But they weren’t there for that sort of adventure, anyway. He walked out toward the water and put the clock down on a large rock, then joined the others at pushing a log down the beach and taking a seat upon it, staring at the clock - Remus directly in the center, his wand held in his fingers at his knees.

The pendulum of the clock swung back and forth and back and forth and Remus stared at it - the ticking reminding him of a heartbeat…

He closed his eyes.

He remembered suddenly a time - far off in his memory - when he was very small and he had terrible chills from the full moon… the kind that seemed to turn his spine to purest ice and quiver his very nerves to the point of being nearly sick… and he was shaking in his bed and crying and Lyall came instead of Hope. It was always Hope that had come before, always hope that came after, but that one night it was Lyall… He remembered his father scooping him up in his arms, holding him close… his head leaning against his father’s chest as he wrapped a blanket about them both, and he could recall hearing the beating of his father’s heart.

He’d been just a little thing, probably four or five, and he asked, ”What’s that sound inside you?”

Lyall had said, ”My heart.”

”Do I have one, too?” Remus had asked, ”Does mine sound like that, too?”

And Lyall had shifted to press his ear to Remus’s chest and listened for a moment. ”Yours sounds like music, little pup.”

Remus shook now, and he opened his eyes and stared at the clock for a very long moment.

Remus stood up.

Sirius did, too, and so did Lily, James, and Peter, and they hovered about - standing in a half circle behind Remus, who stared at the mantel clock, standing there on the rock…

“Evans?” he asked.

“Yes, Rey?”

“What spell did you use on the clocks last year?”

“I used dissilio,” Lily answered.

Remus nodded. He drew a deep breath, mentally prepared himself, and then aimed his wand -- “Dissilio!”