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Once Upon a Time


Regulus Black was having a nightmare. Even with the sleeping draught, his anxiety was such that his dreams still turned to nightmares, twisting even the happiest thoughts he had into dark and terrible things…

Madam Pomfrey had shooed Remus Lupin out of the ward and set to looking over Lucy Minchum. Upon discovering the girl was healthy enough, given all she’d been through, she sent the girl off to St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies. Some healers came to collect her and Madam Pomfrey told Sirius to stay in bed and she left the ward to see them to the front doors of the castle.

It was in this fashion that Sirius Black ended up sitting alone in the hospital wing with his brother, who tossed and turned in his bed across the ward, his face distorted with pain as he rocked side-to-side, obviously quite anguished. Sirius sat in his bed, glancing over nervously. He still hadn’t gotten the whole story - James had come and gone so quickly through the hospital wing (not that he was speaking to that traitor anyway) - and Regulus had talked in nonsensical riddles… All that Sirius had really gathered was that something had happened, Lucy Minchum had been at Grimmauld Place, and now Maryrose Jenkins was most likely dead.

In his bed, Regulus gave a great whimper and grappled at the blankets. “Noo,” he begged the air, “Noo, please… Please…”

Sirius sat up slowly, leaning forward to get a better look at his brother. “Reg,” he called quietly.

Regulus did not hear him, but continued on trashing about, his face distorted with the pleas he was whispering, over and over again. Sirius pushed his blankets aside and slid out of the bed. He felt the tug of new skin on his chest and he glanced down at the patch of considerably paler skin that blazed bright across the bronze of his chest. He frowned, hating himself for having done it (ironically, hating himself was why he’d done it, too, he thought). He walked across the ward very carefully until he was at the bedside of Regulus and he hesitated, his heart thumping so hard it felt like it was in his throat and he reached a tentative palm down and touched his brother’s shoulder.

“Regulus?” he hissed.

Regulus’s eyes sprang open. “Kreacher? Kreacher is that you?” and then his eyes landed on Sirius and he stared at his brother for a very long moment, his eyes wide, like he’d been caught at something very bad indeed.

“You were making noise,” Sirius said, “In your sleep.”

“Sorry,” Regulus answered.

“Yeah… just… y’know, keep it down a bit,” Sirius replied.

Regulus nodded.

Sirius started to turn back to his own bed, feeling like his duty was done in ending the nightmares, but then he paused… and he turned back. “You alright, then?”

Regulus shook his head no.

Sirius ran a palm over the back of his head. “Anything… I can, uh… I dunno, do to help?”

Regulus stared at Sirius in clear disbelief. “You want to help me?”

Sirius shrugged, “Dunno… reckon I’m sort of obligated to a bit…”

“But you hate me.”

“You hate me, too,” Sirius answered. “In fact, you hated me first.”

Regulus hesitated, looking at his hands. He looked up. “I don’t hate you anymore.”

Sirius scoffed, “Funny, ‘cos now it seems I hate myself enough for the both of us.” He waved his palm at the gash on his chest.

Regulus’s eyes moved over the scar slowly, then up to Sirius’s eyes. “You’ve done it yourself?” he asked.

Sirius nodded. “Father would be right proud.”

“Father’s dead. Father’s not proud of anything anymore,” Regulus said coldly.

“I’m aware he’s dead. I was there, too, if you recall,” Sirius answered. “Me and my friends, and you and about a hundred other Death Eaters.”

“I’m not a Death Eater,” Regulus said.

“Show me your wrist.”

Regulus held out his arm to show Sirius the bare skin there. “He doesn’t do that ‘til they’re sixteen anyway,” he said. “But I’m no Death Eater.”

Sirius grabbed Regulus’s hand and looked at the wrist, running his fingers over the tattooless wrist, staring at the way Regulus’s veins showed through the thin layer of flesh there. Finally, he let Regulus’s wrist go and he looked up into his eyes. “Good. Keep it that way… Don’t need you going and becoming a ruddy Death Eater and gettin’ yourself killed the way Father did.”

“Like you’d care if I was killed,” Regulus said thickly.

Sirius said, “I’d care. Not very much, but some, I s’pose,” he added, trying to sound tough.

Regulus looked at him. “I doubted whether you’d care at all, so even not very much is more than I ever expected.”

“About the same as you’d care if I was killed, I reckon.”

Regulus shook his head, “I should care very much if you was killed, Sirius.”

“Celebratorily, of course?”

“No… really. I would care very much. I know we aren’t… aren’t close --”

“Now there’s an understatement!” Sirius guffawed.

“-- but I still love you,” Regulus plowed on.

They stared at one another for a long moment as the words hung between them, and Regulus waited, hoping… hoping that maybe Sirius would say it back. Or say something back, at least. But Sirius looked very much like he was going to be ill and he turned his face away. He started back toward his bed.

“Wait,” Regulus pleaded, “Don’t go. Please. I don’t wanna be alone.”

“It’s not like I’m going far, I’m just over there,” Sirius pointed at his bed.

Regulus hung his head.

Sirius stared to go, but he hesitated at the foot of Regulus’s bed and he looked back and Regulus was still staring down, and he looked just so bleedin’ sad that something inside of Sirius - something that he hadn’t felt about Regulus in a very, very long time - warmed up. He stopped and taking a deep breath, he turned back to face his brother.

“Once upon a time there was a dog named Snuffles,” Sirius started.

Regulus looked up.

“He was a shaggy dog, with the darkest black fur you’ve ever seen on a dog before, and it grew sort of all over the place, with great tufts here and there. He had a long waggy tail and a big snout that was very good for smelling things… especially cooking sausages over a fire, which was his very most favorite.”

A smile slowly spread across Regulus’s face as Sirius came closer and he waved for Regulus to push over and he climed up onto the bed beside him and put his arm ‘round his brother’s shoulders, leaning back in the bed, exactly like he might’ve done when they were six and eight years old and he crossed his legs at the ankle and waved his other arm in the air, as though framing pictures of the words he spoke as Regulus leaned into him… and finally fell asleep.




Lily was waiting in the corridor when James came out of McGonagall’s office. She’d sat down on one of the plinths the coats of armor stood upon and waited, biting her lower lip and staring at the door of the office anxiously. When the door opened and James came out at long last, she sprang up to her feet and stepped before him so that when he turned around and found here there, he stopped short in surprise.

“Evans.”

“Potter,” she nodded the greeting.

“What’re you doing?” he asked.

“Checking you’re alright,” she replied, as though this was the most obvious thing in the world. He looked at her as though she were mental, but Lily plowed on. “So… are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Alright?”

“Hell, of course I’m not, Evans!” James replied, and he turned and started walking down the corridor. She hurried after him. “I’m tired. I’m hungry. My best mate’s in the hospital wing, the entire wizarding world’s political status is currently a pile of dung, and a girl - an absolutely brilliant girl, who never once saw the bad in any person, not even specky-faced toerags when they were shattering her heart in the ground like it didn’t even matter - has been taken by the most evil wizard in the world… Taken Merlin knows where! And it’s my fault. Me! IT’s me, the specky-faced toerag’s fault!” He paused, quite out of breath from all that and turned to look at her. “But yes, Evans. I’m alright.”

Lily put her hand on his arm. “James, I don’t know exactly what happened but I doubt very much whether it was entirely your fault what’s happened.”

“I didn’t protect her properly,” James said.

Lily shook her head, “I’ve seen you protect people you care about. I’ve been one of those people, even. I have never felt safer than when you were protecting me, Potter. And I mean that.”

James ran his hand through his hair. A couple Hufflepuff students ran past, headed down the stairs, looking quite nervous as they went. James watched them go, then he said, “I s’pose they’re on the way to the common room, where they’ll hear the news from Viridi.” His eyes followed them down the stairs, “They’ll hear what a terrible thing’s happened and that I was the one who let it, and yet here I am, and Maryrose is… Merlin knows…” He turned to look at Lily, “And it is my fault. They’ll blame me, even if you don’t. And Regulus does. And I do.” James looked down at his trainers, “If I knew where she was, I’d go right this second. I’d trade places with her, if I had to, even if she’s… and it meant I would be…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the word.

Lily said, “I know you would. It’s what brave people do.”

“I don’t feel very brave right now.”

Lily answered, “Well… you are. Feel it or not.”

Jame stared blankly down at the floor.




Sirius had fallen asleep as well, the two brothers heads leaned against one another.

CRACK!

Regulus stirred first and he sat up and Sirius groaned and blinked at the old wrinkled house elf that stood before them on the bed.

“Master Regulus,” Kreacher said, “Oh Master, Kreacher is not yet finding Master’s friend but Kreacher remembered something Kreacher heard.”

Regulus asked, “What is it, Kreacher?”

“Kreacher is hearing the Dark Lord ask Master’s friend what she knows of a cave.”

“A cave?” Regulus asked.

“Yes, sir, a cave that the Dark Lord was seeing in the mind of Master’s friend.”

Regulus looked quite confused at the elf for a long moment. “Well… I.. well, thank you Kreacher. Keep looking for her.”

“Yes master.” and with a CRACK, Kreacher was gone.