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Not Good But Better


James stood in the doorway of the locker room, staring up at the stands ‘round the pitch, trying to spot Sirius and Remus, but all he could see what Peter, who waved eagerly when he saw James was looking his way. James sighed and waved back, though only half heartedly.

It was afternoon and Remus hadn’t reported back from the Shrieking Shack about whether he found Sirius or not. James couldn’t get the heavy worry that he had over Sirius’s wellbeing to go away. The last thing he felt like doing was playing a match like this. Particularly this match. It’d been rescheduled once because of his fall from his broom, and again because of weather in February, and now here it was nearly the end of March and the match needed to be either played or forfeited and James really didn’t fancy a forfeit on his record. He swallowed back his nerves and ducked back into the locker room to face the team.

“I know it’s sort of dreary out there,” he said, “Raining again...”

“It’s those bloody dementors,” grumbled Frank.

“...but we’ve got to win this. It’ll be the first win for us all year,” James was practically begging.

“We’ll get it done,” said Ali Prewitt with a smirking grin upon her face, “No worries, Potter.”

The match was as dismal as the weather - which was as grey as grey gets. The rain fell from the sky in thick curtains so that none of the players could see properly and Meg Johnson had such a horrible visibility and kept missing the snitch because it would duck into view and back out faster than even she could move to catch it. Frank accidentally threw his beater’s bat into the stands when his gloves got wet and the bat too slippery and Gryffindor was given a penalty for it.

Which was why it was incredibly amazing when they somehow managed to win.

The stands burst with shock as Meg Johnson came down from the fog over the pitch with her arm held high, the snitch struggling to escape from her hand. People were screaming and jumping up and down and waving Gryffindor banners. It led to a crazy party in the Gryffindor common room that left James spinning through the evening, being toted about on the shoulders of the people who’d been in the stands.

It was the resulting party that Sirius and Remus returned to Gryffindor tower to find. Remus had his arm ‘round Sirius’s shoulders as they came through the portrait hole. Remus looked up and saw James’s face flush with excitement at the win and the attention he was getting, and he directed Sirius up the stairs to the dormitory.

“Here we are.” Remus released Sirius as they entered the dorm. “Alright?”

Sirius nodded.

Remus sat on the edge of his bed and reached down to untie his worn shoes. The soles were getting loose ‘round the heels and they were horribly scuffed. He’d need a new pair soon, but there was very little money left in the Lupin bank account and his robes were several inches shorter than they were meant to be, too. He’d have to see if he could find a spell to fix the shoes.

Sirius was just standing there, hovering awkwardly by the desks.

From downstairs, there came a great shouting - James’s name was being called out, chanted, really, and Remus stared at the door of the dormitory. Suddenly the voices broke into a great wave of cheers. “Sounds like Prongs is up to no good,” said Remus.

“Yeah,” Sirius said and he turned around and looked in the mirror at himself. He blinked in surprise at how gross he’d let himself get over the last week. His hair was a mess, and his face dirty and tear stained. He leaned closer and poked at a blemish growing on his chin and crunched up his nose in disapproval. “Blimey.”

“Hmm?” Remus tossed his shoes toward the end of the bed.

“Nobody told me what a mess I’d become.”

“We were working on an engraved invitation from the shower.”

“Brilliant.”

Remus chuckled.

Downstairs there came another chorus of shouts for James Potter and Remus looked at the door again. “Sounds like they’re having fun. Do you want to go down and join in?”

Sirius shook his head, “I don’t think so.”

Remus nodded and stood up to turn down the blankets on his bed.

“You can go if you’d like,” Sirius said.

Remus said, “That’s alright. I’ll stay with you.”

“I won’t go running off again if that’s what you’re thinking,” Sirius said. “I think… I think I might take a shower and get some sleep.”

Remus studied Sirius for a moment. “Okay. I’ll be downstairs, then, if you… need me.”

Sirius’s eyes flickered upward.

Remus paused, then kicked his shoes back on and waved his wand to tie them. He tucked his wand into one of the belt loops of his trousers and went over to the door. He opened it and stood in the frame for a moment. “Sirius.”

Sirius had turned back to the mirror, but now he looked at Remus, a hopeful expression on his face.

Remus hesitated. Then. “I’ll tell you what James was up to.”

“Yeah.”

And Remus left the room.




Next morning was March 27, James’s birthday, and it dawned with howling wind and a good deal of rain striking the windows of Gryffindor tower. James lay awake in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, one arm propping up his head as he lazed about, letting himself wake up slowly as the grey dismal excuse for sunlight slowly lit up the dormitory. They were due in McGonagall’s office soon for their second detention for the incident with Severus Snape, right after breakfast, and he was trying to talk himself out of feeling sorry for himself for it, so he thought of all the good stuff that had happened that year - dwelling the longest on his kisses with Lily Evans on the grounds.

She hadn’t said anything to him about it since the day it happened, but that hadn’t kept it from his mind. He’d dreamed about it several times and whenever he looked her way, he could still taste the warmth and sweetness of her mouth so that he found himself rubbing his lips together, imagining so vividly the flavor of her fruity lip gloss that it almost tingled.

“Happy Birthday, Prongs.”

James looked up and saw the blurry form of Sirius hovering over him. He reached for his glasses from the nightstand and slid them over the bridge of his nose. “Thanks,” James said tentatively. He sat up, looking Sirius over.

Sirius nodded, “Yeah mate. Sixteen. Wow, huh?” He smiled, but it’d been such a long while since he’d smiled that it looked almost awkward. He rubbed the back of his neck with his palm and looked down, the smile fading off, and he turned around.

James watched as Sirius got dressed in something that wasn’t the same frumpled old clothes he’d been wearing for the last week, and actually stood before the mirror to do his hair. “Feeling a bit better today, mate?” James asked.

“I s’pose,” Sirius murmured. “I mean, not good but… better.” His eyes lingered on the reflection of Remus in the mirror behind him. He drew a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair, shagging it up and he picked up his Gryffindor tie and strung it up ‘round his head. “How do I look?” he asked, turning to look at James.

“A good bit more like Sirius Black than you have done the last couple days,” James answered.

Sirius turned away and went over to his bed and sat down as James stretched and sat up. “I don’t have any presents for you, Prongs, I’m a horrible friend.”

“I don’t need presents.”

Sirius sighed. “I didn’t even plan a party.”

“We’re in detention all day anyway.” James shrugged. “And honestly, last night was party enough to keep me quite partied out for sometime.”

“Yeah, I heard about the levitating couch.”

“Wish you’d been there. It was brilliant.”

Sirius nodded. “Brilliant.”

The other two boys were being slow at getting up and James’s stomach was rumbling, so they went down to breakfast without them.

James got an owl from his mum and dad - a howler of his dad singing Happy Birthday in a loud and obnoxious voice that made James’s face turn red and all the other Gryffindors clap and laugh. There was a package, too, of butterbeer lollies and snitch-shaped shortbread cookies from Dora, as well as a brand new set of Gryffindor team Quidditch robes and a new pair of Gryffindor red trainers. There was also a card that made a loud farting noise when it was opened and released a noxious odor that came from Bilius Weasley. Frank Longbottom laughed uproariously and said, “Aw man I miss Bil! Always good for a laugh, that one.”

Remus and Peter joined them after awhile and James shared the farting card, at which Remus made a face and Peter gagged for several moments dramatically while James snickered and even a weak smile issued from Sirius at Peter’s reaction. But soon enough McGonagall was getting up from the staff table at the front of the Hall and glancing at them as she left, letting them know she would be waiting for them. James sighed and tucked his cards and gifts into his magically expanded book bag and stood up, “Alright. I need my textbook if I’m going to detention. Sirius, you need anything while I’m in the dorm?”

“Nawh mate, thanks,” Sirius replied, and James waved to the fellas and stepped out of the Great Hall.

Remus watched him go, then turned to look at the other two. “Alright so the house elves are going to bring the cake up in about an hour, and Peter, you’re going to get the butterbeer, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Sirius looked up. “Wait. You planned a party?”

“Of course we did!” Peter squeaked.

“Can’t believe you planned a party without me!” Sirius exclaimed.

“Well, you were sort of out of commission this week,” Peter pointed out.

“Well, good idea, Wormtail.”

“Actually,” Remus said, “It wasn’t even our idea.”

“Well whose idea was it then?” Sirius asked.

“Mine.”

Sirius turned and found Lily Evans had sat beside him.