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Maybe James Isn’t A Just Anymore?


True to his word, Jasper Odair was sitting on the curb out front of the Odair house when Lily arrived in the Morris Mini. She parked at the end of the driveway and got out, and Jasper unfolded himself from where he’d been sitting, reading a book. He folded the small paperback in half and tucked it into the back pocket of his trousers and walked over to her, “Lily,” he said, voice smooth, and he bent, meaning to kiss her, but she turned her face and he got her cheek instead. He gave her a funny look.

Lily slid her hand through his. “Hi.”

“Hullo,” he replied. Her hair was in a very basic ponytail, her dress so plain. She had put on very little make-up, her eyes a little red… Jasper felt his stomach sink. “Lily…”

“Let’s go for a walk,” she suggested.

He looked back at the house - Edgar was spying through one of the windows. He nodded and he led the way away from the house, down the street, out of Edgar’s sight. Lily held onto his arm. When they’g gone a bit away, Jasper sat down on a bench meant for people waiting on the bus. Lily sat beside him and they were both silent for a few moments. A bird was chirping in one of the trees behind them and Lily bit her lips, trying to get up the nerve to do what she’d come to do.

Jasper spoke first. “You’re breaking up with me,” he said.

Lily instantly felt terrible because of the tone of his voice. But she nodded.

Jasper nodded and stared down at his hands, his lips pursed.

“It’s not because you were a bad boyfriend or anything like that, you were very good, really,” Lily said, trying to make it better, unwittingly being as cliche as possible, “It’s me, it’s isn’t you.”

Jasper closed his eyes, pained at these words, “Is there another boy?”

Lily hesitated. “I don’t know yet. Maybe. Sort of. We haven’t done anything at all. He’s just a friend, but… but it could become more… I… I hope it does. And it isn’t fair to you if I hang on while I’m hoping for something else. Even if it doesn’t happen, I’m hoping for it and… and that isn’t fair for you. You deserve someone who sees nothing but you. Who thinks of you when she wakes up in the morning.” Lily reached over and brushed a bit of hair from his forehead.

Jasper blinked and a couple tears rolled over his cheeks - very defined tears. Distinguished tears, she thought - the voice was James Potter’s. She bit her lip to keep from smiling at the memory of James’s face as he’d bragged about his man-tears. She looked down at the bench.

“I’m sorry, Jasper,” she said.

He turned to look at her, their eyes meeting. “Whoever the lad is, he’s lucky,” Jasper whispered. He knew it was James Potter, he didn’t need her to say it. In fact, he didn’t want her to. He drew a deep breath.

“Whoever ends up with you will be lucky, too, Jasper,” Lily promised. “You’re a wonderful person.”

Jasper didn’t answer, he didn’t look like he thought Lily to be telling the truth, though.

Suddenly, his name cut through the thick evening air. “JASPER BRIAN ODAIR!” It was his mother. She was standing at the edge of their lawn in her dressing down, her unkempt hair and cigarette accessories really completing her look. She had one hand on her hip.

He looked at Lily. “I need to go.”

“I thought she said it was alright for you to talk awhile tonight?” Lily asked.

“Yes… well, she evidently forgot.”

Lily looked back down the road at the woman. She turned back to Jasper. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get you into trouble.”

Jasper shrugged.

They stood up and started back toward the Odair house. Seeing they’d reacted and he was on his way, Mrs. Odair had gone back inside so that when they got back to the Morris Mini at the end of the driveway, it was just Jasper, Lily, and the spying eyes of Edgar.

Lily leaned against the car and Jasper stood before her, looking down at his shoes.

“I guess I’ll… see you around Hogwarts, then,” Jasper said quietly. His voice was thick with emotion.

Lily nodded, “Yeah, I guess so.”

He looked anxiously back at the house, then back to Lily. “May I have one last kiss?” he asked.

Lily nodded, and he leaned in then, holding her arms as he pressed his mouth softly to hers and they tilted their heads, their noses bumping gently.




James had fallen asleep reading in the chair in Charlus’s room at St. Mungo’s. The book lay upon the floor, his arm hanging over the edge of the cushion above it. In the book, the children had learned of a colossal evil taking over the universe, a thing which brought darkness and death and endings, and Meg, the main character whose father they were trying to save, had asked whether there was help and a creature called Aunt Beast had told her the stars help us...

James dreamed he was falling through a good deal of stars then, pinpricks of light against a pitch dark back, which he cried out to for help as he fell… “Please!” he shouted, “I know you can help! You helped Aunt Beast and you help Meg and you help everyone else, you can help me, too!” He shouted, “Please, help my Dad be well again! Please! You’re stars, you can do anything!”

But none of the stars answered.

Except one.

A feeble, blinking star that seemed very nearly on the brink of going out. It turned - if stars can turn, that is - and James felt as though it were looking at him and the star spoke, blinking with each word, “There is a price to pay for our help, James Potter,” the old star said, his voice raspy and low and strangely familiar to James.

“I’ll pay it, I’ll pay anything it takes!” James answered, “Just name your price!”

“Precious seconds, Potter. It’ll cost you precious seconds...”





It was Friday night and Lily was again in front of her closet, looking for just the right thing to wear. She tried on loads different tops and groaned each time, taking it off and flinging it down into a pile on her desk chair. Mrs. Evans drifted by the open bedroom door and saw Lily holding up a blouse to herself in the mirror and scowling. She paused and stepped into the room to watch as Lily tossed it into the pile and descended upon her closet again.

“What are we doing in here?” Mrs. Evans asked, seeing half the contents of Lily’s closet on the floor or the chair by now.

“Trying to find an outfit for tomorrow morning,” Lily replied, drawing another top out and looking at it, frowning, and tossing it onto the pile.

“Oh,” Mrs. Evans replied, smiling in amusement. “I thought your closet might have exploded.”

Lily looked around the room, then back to Mrs. Evans, “Sorry mum. I’ll clean it when I’m finished.”

“I certainly hope so,” Mrs. Evans replied.

Lily threw another top into the piles.

Mrs. Evans walked over, carefully avoiding stepping on any of the shed articles, and dug about for a moment until she’d found a denim romper and a striped green t-shirt. She put those on the bed, then turned to the dresser drawer and got a pair of knee socks with green stripes at the top. She put the socks next to the other two pieces… along with a hair sash and a pair of green flats. Mrs. Evans cleared her throat.

Lily turned around.

“This will bring out your eyes. It’s modest, but cool. It’s comfortable, but still pretty.”

Lily stared. “How did you do that?”

“I’ve had many years of practice,” Mrs. Evans answered.

“Thank you,” Lily said sincerely.

“You’re welcome my dear,” Mrs. Evans said.

Lily waved her wand and the clothes started going back into her closet, hanging themselves in colour order like she’d had them before her wild frenzy. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”

“You said it’s James Potter you’re going to see?” Mrs. Evans asked.

“Yes, just James Potter,” Lily said.

“Maybe James isn’t a just anymore?” Mrs. Evans suggested.

Lily flushed. “Mother.”

“Just a thought.”

Lily finished putting her things away and closed the door to the closet. She looked at the perfect outfit her mum had laid out and she ran her hands over the jumper. “What if he thinks I’m too plain in this?”

“Too plain?” Mrs. Evans’s eyebrows raised.

“I suppose I’m just scared he’ll realize I’m not as wonderful as he thinks,” Lily said warily. She looked at Mrs. Evans. “What if I let myself like him and he gets to know me more and he realizes I’m horribly boring and he decides not to like me anymore and then I’m stuck crying and wallowing after him and he’s moved on and is making out with some hag like Annalee McKinnon and I’ve gone and jumped Jasper for him and Jasper’s such a good boyfriend and I’m so foolish, and I’m scared mother.”

Mrs. Evans smiled knowingly. She reached up behind her neck and undid the clasp of her pearls. “Come here.”

Lily went over and Mrs. Evans slid the pearls about Lily’s neck. “Here. Your father gave me these for Valentine’s Day the first year we were married,” she explained, as she did the clasp up in the back, “They’ll bring you confidence.” She smiled and kissed Lily’s head.

Lily touched the pearls, then turned around and wrapped her arms around her mother’s shoulders.




“I’ll be here late tomorrow,” James reminded Charlus and Dora. He was putting his bag over his shoulders, getting ready to go home for the night.

Charlus smiled, his face still red from the last scaling they’d done. He nodded sleepily. “Remember to be a gentleman,” Dora said sternly.

“I will, mum,” James promised. She squeezed his hand as he took hers and he bent down to kiss her head and then to kiss Charlus’s forehead. “I love you,” James said.

“We love you too dear,” Dora said, squeezing his hand right back.

A wisp of smoke came up from Charlus’s nose and he held out a shaking hand to James. James took his hand. Charlus’s lips twitched and his eyes searched James’s. He hadn’t been able to talk all day - they had a bubble charm on his mouth to keep oxygen flowing through his lungs, even as the fire deep inside burned into smoke. James understood what he was telling him anyway. Good luck, Jamesie was written in his father’s eyes. James smiled and kissed his father’s hand. “Thanks Dad,” he said.

That night for dinner, James practiced at making omelettes so he wouldn’t look like an ametuer in the morning.