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Sirius Wants To Go To The Library


There was a storm raging on the Black Sea. The winds howled and whistled through the stone windows, carrying the scent of brine.

In his cell, Jasper Odair sat pressed against the wall as far into the corner as he could get, as far from the dementors as he could go. He hunkered beneath the threadbare-thin blanket that had been left on the slab of wood that hung on the stone wall - a “bed” of sorts - and he shivered as the billowing robes of the dementors whispered quietly past as they made their rounds, their rattling breath echoing off the silent stone walls.

Jasper had lost track of how long he had been there already.

Worthless…

Never loved…

Too noble to save yourself…

The dementors whispers weighed down on him. He closed his eyes.

Your father, dead… You never had the courage to protect Edgar correctly… Never the courage to turn him in… How will your brothers survive without you, Jasper Odair? How will they ever live to be brave men? How will they overcome?

You deserve this.

Deserved the abuse you received.

Worthless…

Never loved…

Too noble to save yourself….

Jasper covered his ears and rocked.

Destroyed your family… ruined your brothers lives…

“I didn’t,” Jasper whispered. “I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it. He did it. He did it to himself, really… He destroyed the family. It wasn’t Edgar’s fault. It wasn’t my fault. He did it. Father did it.” His voice trembled, but even as he spoke the words, he felt the tiniest bit of warmth inside of him… a flicker of hope…

It wasn’t much. But it was there. And he held onto it with all of his might, repeating the words over and over and over. “I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it. I’m innocent. I’m innocent. I didn’t do it…”




“Mooooooooooonyyyyy,” Sirius whined. He he slithered across the bed so his feet were on the pillows and his torso hung over the edge and he reached over the gap between the bed and the desk, where Remus Lupin was bent over his homework, sucking on the end of a sugar quill while he worked. “Moony, will you take me somewhere?”

Remus murmured, “I take you loads of places.”

“Nuh uh, you’re a liar,” Sirius said, “We never go anywhere.”

“We go to classes everyday and just last week we went to the Shrieking Shack.”

“We always go to the Shrieking Shack,” Sirius whined. “I wanna go someplace new.”

Remus flipped the pages of his text. “We’re in school, Pads, there’s only so many places we can go.”

Sirius rolled over onto his back and stared at Remus, his head hanging over the end of the mattress. “Will you take me to the library?”

Remus’s head snapped up. He turned around, eyebrows raised, incredulous. “Wait. What? Excuse me?”

“The library, Moonykins-darling, will you take me?”

Remus eyed Sirius, then stuck out his hand and pressed the back of it to Sirius’s forehead. “Are you ill?”

Sirius blinked up at Remus from beneath his palm. “No.”

You - Sirius Orion Black, Padfoot - my Padfoot - want to go to the library.” Remus stared at him in disbelief.

“Yes,” said Sirius. “Why is that weird?”

“Because it’s you.”

“So? I go to the library all the time.”

“You do?”

Sirius nodded.

“When?”

“All the time!”

“Name a time. Name just one time. Just one.”

All the time!” Sirius insisted.

“You don’t,” Remus said.

“I do!”

Remus was still staring at Sirius in disbelief as the door banged open and James and Peter came in - James had his brand new broomstick over his shoulder and Peter was carrying his Divination text. James had been out on the pitch with Madam Hooch and the other three school captains going over some new locker room regulations that Madam Hooch was putting into effect and James had opted to hang out and do some practice flying after. Peter teetered as he balanced his books and a bag of crystals in a purple velvet bag with gold rope closure and dropped them onto his bed.

“Hey mates,” James said, leaning his broom gently in the corner and stripping off his quidditch jumper and tossing it over the end of his bed. “What’s going on?”

Remus looked over. “Sirius wants to go to the library,” he said, deciding to let James and Peter’s reactions come to his defense.

James struggled to get the undershirt he was peeling off over his head, his hair falling out of the neck hole as he stood there all bare chested, his glasses crooked from the shirt… “Oh no.”

“What?” Peter looked worried.

“There’s going to be a bacon shortage.”

All three of the others looked at James in confusion.

“I mean if pigs can fly now and all, they’ll be a good deal harder to catch than they are now and that means a bacon shortage.”

Remus cracked up.

“What?” Peter still looked confused.

“Fuck off Potter,” Sirius said, “I go to the library all of the time...”

“I don’t get it,” Peter said, desperate. “Why is there a bacon shortage if Sirius goes to the library?”

“When? Name one time,” James challenged Sirius.

Patiently, Remus said to Peter. “You know the phrase, when pigs fly?”

“Merlin’s hairy balls - this again?” Sirius asked.

Peter crunched up his face, thinking.

James said, “Why do you think Merlin’s balls were hairy? Perhaps he kept them clean shaven.”

“You’re sick, Potter,” Sirius snorted.

“OHHH BECAUSE THEY’RE HARDER TO CATCH IF THEY’RE FLYING AND SIRIUS GOES TO THE LIBRARY SO INFREQUENTLY! I GET IT NOW!” Peter cried, looking quite pleased. Then he laughed, terribly amused.

Sirius looked at the other two. “Ferfuckssakes. Fine I’ll take myself to the library!” he got up and went to the door and ducked through into the corridor as the others all laughed and snorted at Peter’s slow uptake.

Peter flushed, but he still looked pleased with himself.

It took a few minutes, but then the door opened again and, with as much dignity as he could muster, Sirius walked across the room, knelt down, reached under Remus’s mattress, and extracted the Marauder’s Map, then started to leave again.

“S’matter, Padfoot,” James said, smirking, “Can’t find the library without a map?”

This set Remus and Peter and James off at laughing again and Sirius flipped James off and slammed the door behind him.

Remus laughed and wiped his eyes from the mirth that was collecting in the corners. “Bloody hell,” he wheezed. “I better go after him for real though or he might get lost.” He jumped up and scooped up his homework from the desk, and ran out the door after Sirius.

James smirked. “I hope he does get lost just because that would be really bleedin’ funny.”

Peter snickered.