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O.M.T.L.I.N.O.A.A.


Sirius and James agreed with Remus after the first Defense Against the Dark Arts class with Professor Gaunt that there was something very weird about him. The Professor had taught them various hexes and jinxes that could potentially be used against them in a duel, as he had worded it, rather than teaching them how to stop these jinxes and hexes, he actually performed them, using a spider as his target. Sirius had stared in disbelief as Gaunt had extracted it’s corpse from the waste bin and magicked it back to animation despite it being quite squashed and dead when he had pulled it out of the bin.

“I mean it was a fucking inferius spider,” Sirius said to Frank at the lunch table as he threw a handful of crisps into his mouth. “And he did some pretty nasty things to it, too.”

“I didn’t like the way he kept saying my name,” James said. “Potter.” He spat the name out like it tasted bad, the way Gaunt had done it. “Like bloody hell, man, must you be so intense?”

Remus said, “There’s definitely something off balance there.” He waved his fingers at his temple to indicate the stability of Gaunt’s mind.

“A fucking loop-de-loop of mental ambiguity!” Sirius announced, nodding.

Frank said, “He sounds like a real delight. I hope Urquart gets back soon.

“Urquart is the best,” James said firmly, nodding.

“Minnie certainly thinks so,” muttered Sirius.

They all looked at him.

He realized then that he hadn’t told any of them about the time he’d walked in on Minerva McGonagall kissing the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. “Okay, look, if I tell you this,” he said lowly, “You can’t tell anyone else. This ends up all over the school and I’ll hex every one of you arseholes so hard your clothes’ll be out of style by the time you recover.” Sirius looked Peter over. “Well, your clothes are already out of style but maybe they’ll be back in style by then.”

Peter turned red.

But they quickly gathered about to hear the tale that Sirius had to tell, and soon they forgot about the discussion on the oddness of Professor Gaunt’s teachings…




To say that Sirius had other thing on his mind would’ve been an understatement anyway. Sirius had loads of concerns that had nothing to do with Professor Gaunt - for instance, worrying bout Minnie herself and how she was up there in Faere Dhu where he’d left her, and thinking about how weird Regulus had been acting the other day in the hall. He was worried about Remus, whose arm was still healing from the Full Moon, and he was concerned, too, because James Potter had sustained a gash on his chin that was turning into a scar and for some reason this mark deeply bothered Sirius and he kept trying to magic it away and James was getting annoyed by him poking and prodding at his chin. And on top of all of that, too, beyond everything else even, he was concerned about the issue with Lily Evans.

On 12 November, a Friday, Sirius sat down next to Lily on the bench in the library, back-to the table, elbows balanced on the table top. He cleared his throat and rolled his head back to look at her as she tried to ignore him for the good deal of potions books that covered the table. “You should tell him,” Sirius said.

Lily looked up, shoving a handful of hair over her ear. “What?” she asked, pretending she didn’t know.

Sirius nodded at James across the room, where he was leaning over a table talking to McKenna, smiling brightly as he shoved his glasses up his nose as he flushed a little. “I saw you staring,” he said, smirking, “You’re as green as your eyes, Evans.”

“What?”

“Green. You. With the jealousy you’re exuding.”

“Shut it, Black.”

Sirius grinned. “If it’s of any comfort, darling-deer Evans, he would drop her in a breath if he knew that you wanted him like you do” He looked at his fingers.

“I don’t.”

“Do.”

Lily flushed. “Sirius stop.”

Sirius laughed and twisted in the seat, knotting his legs up like a pretzel as he turned to face her and he leaned close to her - so close she could feel his breath on her skin as he spoke, “Evans, if I can see it, don’t you think that the Fates can see it too?” His eyes twinkled as he continued, “Don’t you think if you were really a jinx that they woud’ve…” and he mimed stretching out a string and cutting it clean with his hands, “...already?”

“Stop that!” Lily cried, shoving him away, “It’s not even funny to say! Bloody hell. Are you mad, Sirius?”

“The maddest,” he replied in a voice that really made her think he might just be.

“Stop. Be serious!”

“I can’t be anything but, darling-deer Lilith.”

Lily shook her head. “You don’t know how dangerous I am for him.” Her voice lowered, “Sirius, just the other day, on Sunday, I was talking to Ali and I… I told her that I might… maybe be a little… sort of interested in… in Potter… and he walks in all battered with that scar on his chin you’ve been jabbing at all week.”

“Evans, you know where that scar came from,” Sirius said calmly, quietly. “And it has quite a lot more to do with my love life than yours.”

Lily’s voice went low, too, “Your werewolf might’ve physically brought the scar into being, but the Fates allowed it because of me, alright? It wouldn’t ever have happened if it wasn’t for me.”

“Well aren’t you just full of yourself!” Sirius guffawed, “Thinking that the Fates of the Universe give a humping hippogriff about you and who you like!”

Lily glowered at him.

“Say it, I dare you, let’s see what happens to him next,” Sirius whispered in a seductive temptress sort of voice.

He was mocking her and it made her want to thrash him rather violently. “Careful, or I’ll like you next, just for punishment!”

“And punishment it would be!” Sirius declared, “You’re lacking a good deal of the parts I need to keep me satisfied.”

“Ugh. Sirius. Just let me do my homework. Please.”

“Say you like my Prongs and I’ll leave you alone.”

She shook her head, “I’m not saying it again. I don’t want him to get hurt. And if you were any good of a friend, you’d feel the same way. You’d tell me to bugger off and leave him be.”

Sirius sighed and stood up. She was clearly not going to budge on the matter. “Alright then. Bugger off and leave him be, Evans!” He said it in a rehearsed sort of way.

“Thank you,” she said, turning back to her books.

Sirius paused a moment, a smirk danced upon his lips, and then he bent down, pressed his mouth right into her ear and he whispered, again in that seductive temptress voice, “Or just bugger him and put yourself out of the agony of hiding how bloody much you want to!”

“OH! You --!” Lily turned around to shove him off but he was too quick and had already ducked away, cackling evilly. “Ugh!” she huffed and turned around, carefully using her book to keep James Potter flirting with McKenna out of her sight.




Saturday afternoon was the next Quidditch game, against Ravenclaw, and James held a mandatory practice the morning of to go over a new play he wanted to use and, because he’d been avoiding Meg Johnson all week, he’d postponed practice as long as he could until there was just no other time to do it and still be able to show it to the team the play before the game. So it was that they were up at the first sight of dawn to fly about in the cold, albeit sunshiney sky.

Sirius was hovering over the pitch, watching Meg Johnson flying out her frustration high above, when an idea came to him… and his eyes flicked to where Lily Evans sat in the stands, watching the practice, quietly braiding and unbraiding the ends of her hair nervously as she chewed her lip. Her eyes were trained upon and following James Potter about the pitch as he flew top speed about, sinking the quaffle through the rings, warming up his arms, avoiding eye contact with Meg Johnson, and flushing red whenever he made eye contact with McKenna, who held up a banner she’d magicked to flash his name in red and gold, a lion painted upon her left cheek and his number on the other side.

For the first time ever, James Potter didn’t notice Lily Evans.

And Sirius’s heart broke for her… and he looked down the pitch as James sped ‘round the tight end, throwing the quaffle to Alice Prewitt - the bludgers coming right behind her… and Sirius decided that if James Potter wasn’t going to notice Lily Evans… and Lily Evans wasn’t going to make him notice her, then --- bloody hell --- it was up to him, Sirius Black to make her make him notice.

And so he decided to take Professor McGonagall’s advice.

He’d make then spend some time together.

And he knew exactly how he would do it.

Sirius took his broom and a deep breath and he took off with determination, his boots hooked over the stirrups of the broomstick he rode, his fist about his beater’s bat, going after one of the bludgers at top speed. His eyes met Remus Lupin’s in the stands, staring up at him with a mix of awe and worry and he realized just how upset Remus would be with him…. So, not wanting Remus to be scared of what he was about to do, Sirius paused and he looked Remus right in the eyes and he mouthed I’m sorry.

Sirius slammed the bludger he’d been chasing down the pitch, and set off execute Operation Make The Lovestruck Idiots Notice One Another Already (or as he was already referring to it in his mind O.M.T.L.I.N.O.A.A.).

Remus’s eyebrows knit in concern as he watched Sirius turn the broom about and shoot down the pitch after the bludger he’d just hit. “What’s he about to do?” he murmured, concerned.

Peter looked up at Remus, lowering the Gryffindor pennant he was waving. “What?”

“Sirius. He’s about to do something. He’s just apologized for something.”

Peter looked back to the pitch in concern like Remus was doing.

James grabbed the quaffle from the air as Ali Prewitt tossed it to him, swooping around Frank Longbottom and headed for the rings where Wally Grant was ready to stop their advance in his Keepers’ gear… and Sirius went after James, ducking low, looping about, and flying directly into the line of a bludger that Frank Longbottom had just sent sailing away from James’s tail end. The bludger flew at full speed, hot off Frank’s bat, and Sirius backed into it, taking the bludger right in the elbow.

There was a terrible crack as his bone shattered and he fell from his broom. Straight down like a lead weight he fell, clutching the elbow, his face screwed up tight.

“SIRIUS!” Remus leaped up from his seat as James dropped the quaffle and turned a loop - shooting to the ground to catch Sirius just before he hit the ground.