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It was a while before she moved, staring at the plastic object in her right hand, realization slowly dawning on her mind. She calmly put the test down with the other three she had carefully lined up on the edge of the bathtub. As she began to smile, images of a young boy running through the grass near the pond outside flooded her imagination and she gently touched her belly.

At least, she hoped it was a boy. She had been waiting so long, she had prayed and prayed and prayed and had begun to think there was something wrong with her and now it finally happened. Funny, she thought. While they had been trying real hard before with no luck, she could only recall them doing it once since Brian had been back. She bit her lip as she remembered the night a few months ago. Her husband had awoken in a panic, like he did most nights and she had done her best to calm him down. He’d been shaking and clinging to her and then, without a word, he was on top. His actions had been desperate and a little rough at times and it had resembled none of his careful and loving administrations that had been so typical to him before. She hadn’t been able to stop the tears afterwards, feeling used and neglected. But then, she’d heard him cry, heard him apologize over and over and when he looked at her, he looked so confused and broken that she wanted to take him into the bathroom and hide him away from the world forever.

She jumped a little when she heard the backdoor close and turned around, quickly heading out of the bathroom. Brian was standing in the kitchen, dripping wet as he shrugged off his jacket and Leighanne only now noticed it was raining outside like no tomorrow.

“We had to make a run for it,” he informed her, removing the leash from Bonnie’s collar. The dog carelessly shook the water out of her fur and the kitchen was suddenly covered with muddy rain. Brian scowled at her for a moment; then looked up at his wife. “Did they predict rain?”

She shook her head, raising her eyebrows as she watched a drop of water fall from his nose to the ground, “where did you guys go that you’ve gotten this wet?”

“Believe it or not, we actually made it to the dog park this time,” Brian said, a smile breaking through on his shiny wet face and she could detect a hint of pride in his eyes.

“Oh really?” she said, smiling back at him.

“You can ask Bonnie if you don’t believe me.”

Bonnie looked at them, unaware of the meaning of their conversation, but she wagged her tail at the mention of her name anyway.

“I’m pregnant,” Leighanne announced suddenly.

There was an immediate shift in the mood as Brian frowned at her. He actually frowned. Her Brian would have never frowned at the announcement of her pregnancy. He would have smiled, would have cheered even and he would have picked her up and swung her around. Carefully, of course, because he would have thought that now that she was pregnant, he had to be extra gentle. He would have kissed her passionately and told her he loved her and she would have been able to feel his happiness in every move he made. But that wasn’t the way this Brian reacted. She knew she needed to stop comparing her Brian with this Brian. This was her Brian after all. And the image she held of her Brian was slowly fading into an unsure memory. But yet, she couldn’t help but notice all the subtle and not so subtle differences between the two.

She stared at him as he struggled to fathom the news, apprehension slowly growing in her mind when the seconds quietly ticked by and he didn’t say a word.

“C-congratulations,” he finally spoke up and she noticed his voice was shaking.

Congratulations?

“I mean, I... I took four tests, so it’s gotta be for real,” She said slowly.

He nodded and she thought he looked trapped. She didn’t understand. Was this not what they had both wanted for so long? Of course, ever since the whole ordeal that happened ten months ago the desire for a baby had been burning a bit low, but she would have thought he’d be a bit more... happy?

Had he really changed too much for that?

She swallowed back her tears as she watched him turn around and walk away after two more minutes of awkward silence. She wondered if she should go after him. She wondered if she should become angry and yell at him for his lack of sensitivity. She wondered if he deserved that.

When she finally did find him, he was standing in the corner of the living room, his head low and completely unaware of her presence. She came up behind him, softly laying a hand on his shoulder. He tensed and gasped in shock and she immediately felt guilty.

“It’s okay,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry,” he replied, not turning around as he kept his gaze on the floor. “I know that that was not the reaction you were expecting.”

She thought about that for a moment, “If your actions are only based on what you think I expect them to be, then it would never be real and we’d only be fooling ourselves.”

He turned around this time, a sad smile appearing on his tear stained face, “When’d you become so wise?”

She shrugged and took his hand, “We can do this together, you know.” An unsettling feeling crept into her stomach as she noticed he averted his gaze. And then she knew. She didn’t know how she knew, but suddenly her intuition screamed at her in a panic. “You’re not staying,” she stated, instead of asking.

He finally looked up and she saw all the guilt and sorrow there and her heart broke. She shook her head and took a step back, disbelieving her own words.

“I can’t,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

“You can’t be serious,” she said, her own voice rising in pitch.

“I can’t stay here,” Brian answered slowly. “I’m no good to you, certainly not with a baby on the way.”

“So you’re just gonna leave me here to figure it all out on my own?” she said, her voice near yelling now.

“You don’t understand,” he said softly.

“You went to the dog park today, Brian!” she yelled.

“What does that have to do with it?”

“It means you’re progressing!”

“Oh wow! I made it all the way to the dog park and back. I’m all better! Call off the shrink!” his sarcasm was sudden and loud and for a fleeting second, she was actually terrified of him. His eyes were wild and his nostrils flaring and she’d never seen him like that. When he’d first been rescued, he’d been sick to death and when he finally woke up, the only thing she ever saw was the fear. But now...

He sighed, “I’m sorry. I just... I don’t know.”

She studied him closely. His anger had vanished instantly and she only saw the troubled man that looked so much older than the one she had married two years ago. “We do this together,” she said softly, taking his hand once more and guiding it to her belly, “There’s three of us now, you’re not going through it alone.”

“But I am, aren’t I?” his voice was sad, “In the end, there’s nothing you can do. It must be driving you crazy to have someone this damaged as your husband.”

“I couldn’t feel more blessed to still have you.”

He was silent for a second, her words slowly sinking in. Then he nodded and sighed, “What if I never go back to the guy you knew before?” he asked, anxiously watching her face for a response.

“That guy wasn’t that perfect,” she said.

“But still-”

“He was kind of a jerk, actually.”

“Well then,” he looked at her and she saw a relieved smile playing with his mouth, “good thing I don’t remember much about him, huh?”

She laughed as her Brian wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him, kissing her softly. “I love you,” he mumbled against her lips, then moved his head to look down at the hand he still held against her belly, “and you too.”

“We should think of a name for him,” Leighanne whispered.

“Him?”

“Definitely a boy.”

“That so?” Brian knelt in front of her and put his other hand on her stomach as well, “Hm, no, I’m gonna say girl.”

“Mothers are usually right on this, trust me,” Leighanne smiled.

“Alright then, let’s bring in a third party,” Brian said, turning around, “Bonnie, what is your final judgment?”

The dog barked at the excitement in her owner’s eyes and Brian turned to face his wife again, “See? Girl.”

“We’ll see about that,” she said, a bit of relief spilling into her voice, “and tomorrow, you’re going to go to the dog park again, and you’re gonna talk to people.”

“Did you follow me?” he asked, “how’d you know I didn’t talk to people?”

“I didn’t. But now I do,” she said.

“I love it when you get all authoritative on me,” he said, swaying them both back and forth slowly. “How will you know if I talk to people tomorrow?”

“I’ll ask Bonnie for a report.”

Brian scoffed, “She wouldn’t betray me, right Bonnie?”

The dog licked her lips and Leighanne studied her, “She would betray you for a sandwich.”

“Don’t listen to her Bonnie,” Brian sang and Leighanne relished in the sound. It had been so long since she’d heard him sing and she never realized how much she’d missed it until now. He continued a soft tune she didn’t instantly recognize while they kept swaying back and forth to the melody in his voice. A magical moment she would cherish all the while, even when he woke up screaming that night, drenched in sweat and yelling at her to get away from him. She would remember his voice in moments like that, and she would hold on to it, and they would get through it, together.