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Author's Chapter Notes:
Hope you enjoy the chapter. Sorry it took a bit for this one!
Nick watched the world go blurry as he fell, as he felt Russell let go of him. There was a lot of commotion….voices in all directions. Panicked shouts.... Hands grabbing him…sirens. More gunshots. So much noise.He couldn't figure out what was happening. He was frightened. All he saw was darkness.

Was he dying?

As he slipped in and out of consciousness, flashes of memories came and went. His head was spinning and he wanted to throw up. There was pain too, so much pain. He was tired, hungry. So much pain he didn't know where it was coming from. All he wanted was for it to stop.

“Nick…”

“Nick…”


His eyes opened and he was on the tour bus being shaken awake by Kevin. He didn't know what year it was but he was considerably thinner.. He felt angry but couldn't remember why. His head throbbed.

“Hey, you didn't come to dinner. Are you okay? You don't look so good. You're not sick, are you?” Kevin asked, feeling his forehead.

“Fuck off.” he growled, pushing him away.

Kevin made a face and rolled his eyes.

“You know what, forget it.”


Nick wanted to tell him he didn't mean it, beg him to come back, but he couldn't. He didn't know how. It was as if he wasn't in control of anything. He was reliving moments of his life.

The bus faded away and this time he was in his bunk again, not knowing when or where.

“I'm worried about him. He won't talk to anyone.. “

They were talking about him again, most likely. It was Brian’s voice. He felt angry and didn't know why. Why was he so angry? It was obvious that someone cared. Why didn't he see this before? He wanted to tell them what was wrong, but couldn't. He couldn't control anything he was doing.

“Was I really this rotten to them?” he wondered as he helplessly watched himself yell at Brian and Howie, accusing them of talking about him behind his back. Watched helplessly as he drank himself numb and pushed everyone away. Watched his friends worry about him.

It was his turn to worry. He wanted it to stop.

“I don't want to die…”

Do you, Nick? Are you sure you don't? You seem content in destroying yourself.

“No…”

“I don't want to die….”

He could feel something again but he wasn't sure what it was. Anger? Pain? He didn't know. Blurs of light flashed in front of him.



Then suddenly it went black.

****************************************

Brian’s eyes went wide when he heard the gunshot. They all turned around to see Nick's body falling, his blood spilling on the asphalt.

“No!!!”

Russell laughed, dropping Nick and the gun.

He threw his head back and laughed. Laughed like he heard the funniest joke in the entire world.

It was as if time froze. Brian’s breath caught in his throat. He stared at Nick in disbelief, blood seeping through his friend's shirt. Paramedics rushed to him, police detained Russell and everything went in slow motion.



“Hey, new guy. I'm Nick.”

Brian smiled at the young boy with messy blonde hair in front of him.

“Brian,” he drawled.

“You sound like you belong on Hee-Haw.” Nick commented.

“You look like you're auditioning for the Lollipop Guild.” Brian fired back, and they both laughed. They laughed and laughed, and it was then Brian knew he and Nick would be good friends.

They were Frick and Frack. Two peas in a pod. Best friends….brothers. Family….until Brian pushed him away. He knew he had done it too. Pushed his friend away when he got together with Leighanne Wallace. Nick started to drift after that. He became withdrawn, started drinking more. Smoked more. Argued more.

It was his own fault….

His fault.

Brian closed his eyes, memories of their friendship drifting by.

“We will always be friends, won't we?” a 15 year old Nick asked, his head on Brian's stomach after they'd had a pillow fight in the hotel room one night. Kevin had come by at least twice to tell them to keep it down or they'd be separated, even though they all knew he'd never do it.

“Always, Frack.” Brian grinned.

Brian watched as Nick was carried to the ambulance. Was he going to be okay?



Suddenly there was a bunch of commotion. Russell was trying to get away. He was trying to run, struggling to escape the officer that held him.

Brian didn't feel sorry for him at all.

He deserved whatever he got.






“Do you think he will be okay?” Brian asked Howie once everybody was at the hospital. Everyone was checked over for injuries since the bus crash. Nick was in surgery, having sustained more than he had let on. Kevin needed surgery too, and AJ was being treated for dehydration and exhaustion. They were all very lucky to be alive.

“I hope so. Russell seemed pretty intent on killing him. All we can do is pray.”

“We should have killed that bastard when we had the chance, Howie.” Brian whispered angrily, his fists clenched.

“I know you're upset but you and I both know that won't fix anything. We just need to have hope. Anger won't help.”

Brian nodded and sat down, tired of pacing the waiting room. He wished he could do something more productive but they couldn't. Howie was right, all they could do was wait.

He put his head in his hands and started praying silently.

Prayer was all he had.



“You know why you haven't woken up yet?”

Nick sat in a dark room, pitch dark. He couldn't see anything but heard echoing voices that sounded muffled.

“Who are you?!” he shouted.

“I'm not finished with you, Carter. Not by a long shot.”

It was Russell's voice. He cackled from the darkness.

“How are you doing this?”

“This is your nightmare, don't ask me.”


Nick looked out into the darkness, wondering how he was going to get out of this new mess he found himself in.