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Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's a new chapter. Thanks for reading!
The show that night didn't go as planned, but the crowd was going wild. The fans didn't notice the tension between them, because all five of them had become masters of leaving everything off stage. As soon as the guys left the stage, their smiles faded. Their manager shouted at them and all it did was get their tempers to flare.

"That was not a good show tonight, you all seemed like you didn't want to be there!!! We can't have this from you.." he yelled. Nick tuned him out, thinking. He just wanted to get into bed, have something to eat and forget anything happened, it was a really crappy day. Nobody really noticed except for one person but Nick ignored them. He hated being bothered when he was in a bad mood.

"Nicky, you okay?" Howie asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Nick pulled away, leaving Howie looking after him in disappointment. He loved Howie for caring but he just didn't feel like talking as he walked to the bus, a headache coming on. He saw some fans outside but walked past them. A few even yelled to him but he ignored it.

“Nick, we waited two hours to see you. We drove from Canada.” one of the girls called. She was wearing a Backstreet Boys shirt and had a sign. Nick didn't even smile. He kept his head down and went on the bus, leaving the girl disappointed.

“I thought he was the nice one.”

"Fuck this shit." he mumbled, ignoring her. Sometimes he wondered what it would have been like if he didn't choose the band and went to do Mickey Mouse Club instead. He'd probably be living a normal life or been an actor by now.

He closed the curtain to his bunk as the others filed into the bus, arguing again....everything was an argument anymore. Between his family and his BSB family nobody was getting along, it killed him to hear it. His family was bad enough. He left the curtain open a crack, listening to them fight. It reminded him of the house in Florida, when his parents would argue over money and he wished for anything that could help them. He chose this to help them. He knew he was stupid for it.

"AJ....what is wrong with you? You forgot half the words to the song and you screwed the whole set up." Kevin hissed, slamming his hand on the table.

"Oh, I'm SO sorry your highness. It won't happen again." AJ retorted, walking towards the back of the bus.

"Excuse me, that was coming from our manager, not me. What is really wrong, AJ is that you don't seem to understand what you do affects us as well. You and Nick both are dragging us down with your behavior. It's bad enough you're a fuck up but you want to fuck Nick's life up too? " Kevin said, looking at Brian and Howie for help. Neither of them added to the conversation, they just looked awkwardly at the floor.

"Fuck you, Kevin. You aren't my dad or my boss. I do what I want. Besides Nick doesn't need help fucking up. He's a fuck up on his own.” AJ said before reaching for a beer in the mini fridge. Kevin grabbed it but AJ grabbed it away and opened it.

"See this is what I mean. Drinking like this isn't healthy.....we are just looking out for you." Kevin added. Howie stepped forward and decided to speak up.

"We are worried about you, won't you just talk to us for a while? I think we all need to just get things out in the open." he said calmly. AJ finished his beer and just stomped off, his chains on the boots he wore rattling.

"That answers that. Well, Leighanne's waiting for me to call her so I'll be off then." Brian announced, laughing awkwardly.

"Is that all you can think about?" Howie asked in disbelief although he wouldn't admit he was about to do the same.

"It's better than this squabbling every night. What is happening to us, we all used to be so close..."

Kevin put his hand through his hair and sighed as he watched his cousin leave too. Brian was right. He wondered if anything could be done, or if they would just get worse as time went by. The bus rolled onto their next stop, everyone riding in silence and eventually sleeping for a few hours.

They would be grateful for a full night of sleep before too long.




The next day was a show day and Nick found himself bumming a cigarette from one of the roadies since Kevin had cut him off. He puffed at it, kicking stones behind the venue and keeping an eye out for Kevin. There was no sign of him anywhere so far, so Nick was left alone. He liked to be alone these days but he felt lost not having anyone to talk to, especially about what was going on in his life.

"Hey."


Nick jumped but it wasn't Kevin or any of the guys, it was the new roadie.

"Oh, shit- you scared me. I thought you were someone else." he laughed.

Russell smiled....sizing Nick up. He could definitely handle this kid, he was about Jamie's build.

"I guess I am not the only one who needed a smoke, huh kid." he said. Nick blew a puff into the air and wiped at his nose before taking another drag.

“Sawyer.” Russell said, holding his hand out. Nick just stared at him awkwardly.

"I just needed to be alone. Plus this is my last one. Had to bum one." he explained. He wouldn't look the other man in the eye, something about him made him uncomfortable.


“Are you okay? You seemed upset last night heading back to the bus. I saw you walk past the fans outside.”

“That's not your business, bro. I wasn't in the mood to talk to them. They'll get over it if I don't go over once or twice. They're just fans.” Nick scoffed.

Russell was about to go off on him because Chloe had been one of those fans at one point. He remembered taking her to see the band a long time ago before he was in jail. He had no idea that this guy was like this. Nick didn't seem to care about his fans at all. Just seemed like a miserable prick, but before he could open his mouth he was interrupted.


"Nick!!! Are you back here?" Brian called. Nick cursed as he came towards them, shaking his head. He put the cigarette out and more cursing followed.

"What are you doing without security?" Brian said, giving Russell a funny glance.

"I'm not a kid anymore...besides, I wasn't alone. He was with me.....uh....what was your name, dude?"


“I just told you….my name is Sawyer.”

“Whatever. He's cool.” Nick lied.

Russell put on a fake smile, this kid really seemed brain dead. He wondered what Chloe saw in him.

"We met the other day, now come on before Mike and Kevin both have coronaries when they find you missing again. It's bad enough AJ is hungover, we don't need this too." Brian said, pulling Nick along and ignoring Russell.

Russell hated their attitudes, these two acted like they were entitled, especially the shorter one who kept going on about management and the show, not even bothering to ask the kid if he was okay. It would be all right, he thought as he puffed at his cigarette. Pretty soon they wouldn't have the kid to kick around anymore anyway.


Not if he had anything to do with it.