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1:46am.

Brian rolled over onto his side and tried to get comfortable on the hard mattress of his hotel bed. He kept his eyes closed and his breathing steady. He'd been at this for a little over half an hour, and so far sleep wasn't coming easy.

2:23am.

Brian was laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling. His eyes burned as he started to count the stucco moulds. One... two... three... He rubbed his face with his hands. When he closed his eyes, all he could see was Nick's face staring back at him. His bright blue eyes and his wide smile. Brian groaned, rolling back over onto his side.

3:42am.

He got up and walked over to the bathroom for a drink of water. Because his mouth was dry from the tinny air in the shitty room. Even though it wasn't really a shitty room. And it certainly didn't have anything to do with him laying there trying to remember every word to Nick's song. He stared at himself in the mirror and thought about Nick's voice crooning out the lyrics just hours ago.

He shivered.

4:25am.

He briefly thought about calling Leighanne back home in Atlanta. But there was no time difference and he was sure she was long asleep. And I can't stop thinking about some random guy I met at an awards show wasn't a good enough reason to wake her up. It wasn't even a reason, because it wasn't even happening. He was just wired from the night. That was all. And Nick was just there.

5:52am.

Nick really was a good signer though. And Brian couldn't help appreciating that. He was just admiring a comrade in the industry. Really.

6:30am.

There was a knock at his door. He groaned, rolling over and stumbling out of bed. So much for sleeping. He hadn't even bothered to set an alarm - what would have been the point? Kevin always woke them up anyway.

He walked over to the door and sure enough, when he looked out the peephole his cousin was standing on the other side.

“Morning,” he said with a yawn when he pulled the door open.

Kevin eyed him. Maybe he knew something was up. Brian racked his brain trying to think if he was at all obvious the night before. Or maybe the lack of sleep was just making him overly paranoid.

“Morning,” Kevin said slowly. “Ready to go? We've gotta be downstairs in half an hour to get to the airport.”

Brian nodded. Thank goodness for that. He could get out of New York and get home to Leighanne and never have to see or think about Nick Carter again.

Not that he was thinking about him

“Yeah,” Brian said, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, I'll be there.”

* * *

Nick opened his hotel curtains wide the next morning. His alarm only went off two minutes ago, but he was already wide awake. The sunlight streamed into the room and he wore a smile on his face.

New York City was his home for the next two days. Album promotion, TV show performances and an appearance at the Virgin Megastore. He was even there on his own - no mom or dad or screaming siblings pissing him off and demanding his attention.

Just two glorious days all to himself. Well, not without work. But that was beside the point.

He stretched, his mind wandering back to the night before. His first ever live performance had gone off without a hitch. Thank god. If it hadn't - if he'd fucked it up he doesn't know what he'd have done. His mom probably would have been calling him screaming about how he'd ruined everything and how they were going to be poor again in a hot minute.

Nick scoffed, trying not to think about that. It hadn't happened, so there was really no need to worry.

And then he'd seen Alex - or AJ, as he was going by now, and Howie. That had been cool - he hadn't seen them in what felt like forever. And they'd ended up joining that group Nick auditioned for - right before he got the call that he'd made it onto the Mickey Mouse Club.

He briefly wondered what it would have been like if he'd went with the group instead of the show. It seemed like AJ and Howie had done pretty well for themselves - the Backstreet Boys were there last night, after all. Maybe if Nick had joined the group they'd have done just as well. Or maybe not. Five guys in a group might have been too many. It was definitely too many for New Kids on the Block. Nick laughed to himself. Only like two guys in that group could actually sing.

Nick knew pretty well that AJ and Howie were talented enough. He didn't know about the other two in the group. They hadn't performed that night, so Nick really had no idea. He chewed at his lip when he thought about meeting Brian though. The shorter boy with fluffy brown hair who'd looked up at him with clear blue eyes.

Nick leaned against the window and stared out at the city below him. Maybe he should have stayed and talked to him longer instead of running off with AJ so quickly. Because Brian seemed eager to talk to him and...

And what? He rubbed his forehead with his hand. Brian had been nice to him and complimented his performance. Like anyone would have, really. It wasn't special. No matter how many times Nick went over it in his head. And no matter how much he thought about the way Brian's eyes crinkled up when he'd smiled at him.

Nick took a deep breath. He probably shouldn't have been thinking like this. It wasn't like he could do anything about it. He couldn't take a risk like that at this stage in his career. Couldn't risk fucking everything up.

He closed the curtains and walked over to the bathroom to take a shower. He had a long day ahead of him and some boy he'd met the night before should have been the last thing on his mind.

* * *

Brian tossed his suitcase onto the couch in his modest Atlanta home. He glanced around. He barely had a moment to breathe before his girlfriend came rushing down the stairs to greet him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his mouth. “You're home!” she said with a smile on her face before kissing him again. “Finally.”

Brian couldn't help but laugh. He'd only been gone for two days. This wasn't even the longest they'd been apart. Not by a long shot.

“How are you?” she asked. She pulled away from his face but still kept her arms tightly around him. “How was it? I watched you guys on TV. You looked great.”

He chucked again. Trust Leighanne to make him feel like the king of the world. He felt a pang of guilt for being up the whole night before thinking about Nick Carter and his stupid blue eyes. Leighanne's were much prettier than his anyway.

“It was good,” he said, shrugging his shoulders and pulling away from her. He figured he may as well start unpacking since his laundry wasn't going to unpack itself.

“And how are you?” she asked again, stressing the last word and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Brian sighed. He should have known this was coming. He'd been having heart problems for the last little while, and Leighanne wouldn't stop pestering him about them.

“Fine,” he said, shrugging away from her and walking over to his suitcase. Maybe he was being a little harsh, but he didn't care. He didn't want to go through this again.

Not like Leighanne would respect that. “Brian,” she started in on him. He didn't turn around. He just kept pulling clothes out and placing them in a heap on the couch. “Brian,” she said again.

“I know,” he sighed, smoothing out one of his shirts before realizing there was no point and tossing it back down. “It's just that-”

“The group's busy,” Leighanne repeated his usual excuse. She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, her piercing blue eyes stared into the back of his neck. He could feel it.

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his temples. It had been a long flight and this was the last thing he wanted to discuss. “I'll be fine, Leigh. I made an appointment with the doctor back in Lexington,” he said shortly.

He gathered up the bundle of laundry in his arms and carried it downstairs to the laundry room. Thankfully, Leighanne didn't bother to follow him. Instead she turned and walked away from him in a huff. He was grateful for that - she was just looking out for him but it was starting to get irritating. He could take care of himself and he knew what best for his health.

And right now that meant continuing on with the group. Because like hell he was going to let the others down right when they were on the brink of everything they'd ever wanted.