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The year was almost over. A year of missed opportunities and unrequited love. I had every opportunity to tell him how I felt and each time I lost my nerve.


It seemed simple enough at first, but it turned into months of chasing a dream I never thought would come true. It all started on New Year’s Eve last year. We'd both been invited to some holiday office party and I jokingly asked him to be my date but he didn't take me seriously. Typical Nick mistake of course. I always forget nobody takes me seriously.


“I thought you weren't coming.”


His eyes were so green and they twinkled if the light hit them just right. Sometimes I'd zone out because it felt like he was staring into my soul.


Kevin Richardson was a beautiful man and definitely out of my league. He looked so- so professional, and here I was….some young kid that didn't know how to tie a tie properly. Yes, in case you're wondering the one I wear is a clip-on.


I blushed.


“I changed my mind, I guess.”


He smiled, showing off his dimples. I was falling and falling fast. I opened my mouth to speak but he had already walked away.


Damn, damn damn.


I walked around looking for him and found him by the table where drinks were being served.


“Sorry, I was thirsty. Would you like anything?” Kevin asked. I nodded and asked for a rum and coke. We talked and I drank the first drink… then another and a third. He offered me another drink when I'd finished. We talked and talked and we had a lot in common.


“You trying to get me drunk or something to get me back to your place?” I blurted out before I could stop myself. I was half expecting him to think I was some sort of creep, but he handed me my drink and smiled.


“I see you have a sense of humor. Not many people in this company do.”


“I try.”


He took a napkin and scrawled down a phone number before pressing it in my hand. His hands were so soft I felt a tingle when he touched my hand with his thumb.


“Text me sometime. We should hang out.”



Somehow my crazy ass plan had worked.








Months passed and it was Valentine's Day. I still hadn't asked him out.


“Dude, you haven't stopped talking about this guy since you met him. Ask him already and save yourself all this stress.” my roommate AJ said. He was the most supportive out of everyone…some of my friends had stopped talking to me when I came out to them. My parents basically disowned me so I was on my own. I'd met AJ randomly at the grocery store, right before I got the job where I currently work. I tell him everything but usually I regret it later.


“I don't think he'd even say yes. He's probably already seeing someone.”


I know. I'm so positive.


“Well then if you're not going to ask him what are you going to do, just wonder the rest of your life why you didn't do it?” AJ asked. I nodded, he had a point but I wasn't going to let him know he was right.


More time went by. Kevin and I had exchanged many texts, late night calls… Skype and even chats at work. We could never seem to get a night when both of us were free. I was getting frustrated.


Would I ever get a date with him?


That summer, we were standing by the water cooler talking about going out once again, which became our weekly ritual. He'd gotten promoted to another department so we didn't see each other as much. It didn't stop me from tagging him in memes on Facebook though.


“I have a boat, if you're free Monday we could go out and get a bit of sun. Go down to Jones Beach.”


Well damn it all, I was fucking free. Was it a date? I didn't care. It should have ended right there, yes? Us riding off into the sunset on his little boat, clinking together glasses of champagne or beer bottles even.


Not in Nick Carter land. He has to fuck up. Always.


The day started off great but ended with me covered head to toe in sunburn.


I forgot my damn sunscreen. I figured I'd be okay, originally being from Florida. I didn't account the fact I burn like a lobster. Near third degree burns. So bad I needed to go to the ER. I was out of work for a bit and had sun poisoning.



So after that, I spent the next few months kind of avoiding Kevin…but he kept running into me in the most random places, right up until Christmas time we tried and tried to set up a actual date but it never worked out. Something always came up.


I'd wasted a whole year chasing this dude. AJ thought it was hilarious.


“Ask him over for Christmas dinner.” he suggested.


I had already thought about it, but by now Kevin probably had a boyfriend. Someone who wasn't such a spaz. I'll end up dating AJ.


“Nah, man. I think I'll spend Christmas alone this year. Cooking for one.” I didn't feel like going anywhere, I had turned down probably every invite I'd gotten, told everyone I needed some time to relax by myself for a bit.. It had been a crazy year.


Christmas came and I spent a little of my day cooking the world's smallest turkey. At least according to AJ it was before he left for his parents. He'd invited me but I turned him down. He loves to tease me about everything. I should probably stop telling him everything, honestly.


“Fuck!”


AJ poked his head in the kitchen at the sound of me yelling.


“What happened? You setting the place on fire?”


“First of all, fuck you. Second… I forgot the damn cranberry sauce.”


I am the kind of guy who doesn't have turkey without a can of cranberry sauce. It's traditional. Makes me think of my Christmases back home before I moved out.


“Dude, it's Christmas. There's nothing open but the 24 hour. You'll be lucky if you find anything.” AJ said. He said goodbye and went to his parents place as I threw on my coat and boots, trudging out into the snow to get my cranberry sauce. The store wasn't far away, but it was fucking cold out and I forgot my gloves.



AJ wasn't wrong. The shelves were pretty empty and as I reached for the can on the shelf, another hand bumped me.


“Nick?”


I dropped the can on the ground. It was Kevin. He looked even sexier than last time I'd seen him at the office Christmas party last week.


“What are you doing here?” I asked, picking the can up off the floor and taking a new one off the shelf. Kevin grabbed one and put it in his basket. He had a couple things in there, including one of those frozen turkey tv dinners. I suddenly got hopeful. Maybe AJ was onto something.


“I just was getting some dinner. Spending the holiday alone this year. I felt like I needed a break, it's been kinda crazy and I wanted to wind down.”


It's kinda crazy how much we have in common.


“You mean you forgot the cranberries too?”


He and I laughed and laughed, then I ended up inviting him over for dinner. I'd figure out dessert later. If you catch my drift.



Safe to say that this story has a very happy ending.