Incredibly immediate welcome. Alarming. “...Yeah?”

“Hi!” Jill was smiling as she appeared at the top of the stairs.

Becka looked around anxiously, “Hi. What’s up?”

“There’s something for you in the kitchen!” Jill said happily as she watched Becka drop her bag onto the bench near the door. She had been waiting all day for this moment.

“What?” She asked curiously as she dug her phone out of her bag and shoved it into her pocket, remembering that she had to call Coll back as per her message earlier.

“Go see.”

Becka looked at her, suspiciously, “okay.”

Jill was giddy as Becka removed her jacket before walking into the kitchen and followed her as she did so.

Apprehensively, Becka peeked into the kitchen from the hall before stepping all the way in. The bouquet caught her eye, and her stomach sank. “What is this?” She asked nervously even though she already knew.

“A huge and lovely bouquet!! I’ve been dying to know who it’s from all day… you hadn’t mentioned anyone…” Jill’s voice was full of sweetness as she eyed the bouquet briefly again for the hundredth time that day before returning her attention to Becka. “It’s absolutely gorgeous…”

Becka looked at her stoically, trying to process her thoughts. Slowly, she looked back to the flowers and stepped closer to them. Nervously, she reached out for the attached card, which she could tell had respectfully been left undisturbed.

“B-

Whenever you want to tell me, I’m ready to hear it.

And it won’t change anything.

-H.”

Her heart was beating so fast, and the room was spinning a bit as she folded the note closed again.

Jill was busying herself now with filling the tea kettle with water but kept a watchful eye on the situation happening at the kitchen island. “So?”

“Oh, it’s nothing…” Becka said quickly as she shoved the card into her back pocket and rushed away from the kitchen as tears welled up in her eyes.

“Becka-“Jill asked after her.

“No, I swear it’s nothing,” Becka responded loudly from the hallway.

Jill looked blankly between the empty space Becka left and the bouquet, all her curiosities even more pronounced now.

Becka made her way to her room and shut the door before pulling the note out of her pocket to reread it.

“B.” “-H.”

Her head ached, her throat swelled. She made her way to her bed and crashed into it as the tears flowed silently over her face. She laid there, her mind running wild with a million different thoughts, her eyes overflowing, and her body heating up more with every passing second.

After several minutes she got to her feet again. She paced the room for a minute before flipping her phone open and composing the eighth text message she had ever written.

_ does it work?

_ hey! Does what work?

_ texts. Guess so

_ of course it works. How r u

_ got yr flowers. Thx

_ :)

_ sweet of u. pqttX

_ enjoy. pqttX?

ugh. embarrassing. She sniffled and began to try again, pecking away at the keys, annoyed by the process but compelled to continue.

_ prett

_ pretty?

spanish. Less letters. _ si

_ tu tambien

She closed the phone shut before gathering her hair in her hands and exhaling slowly.

“Does she say shit like that to you a lot?” Coll asked solemnly, her eyes fixed on something across the room as she sat on the edge of her bed, her head resting in her palms, her elbows pushing into her knees. Her tone hovered between sad and annoyed… but she felt a surge of protectiveness, and frustration that she couldn’t act on it earlier.

He didn’t respond. She didn’t look up.

They had arrived back at her room just a few minutes ago, and neither of them had said anything since saying goodnight to Jane in the elevator. Dinner had ended casually, with everyone playing their part and Jane sufficiently tiring herself out on questions and three rounds of drinks. Coll’s head continued to pulse - a mix of anxiety and the headache that lingered from earlier, and now: thoughts about the events of the evening mixed in.

“That’s why you think you’re not good enough.” She stated, slowly sitting back up, inhaling deeply, looking at him as he stood leaning against the desk in her suite, his head also bowed in defeat. “I thought it was…” her words trailed off, her eyes rolled at the thought, “Bimbos. Stupid women who were using you… trying to get more out of you than you could give. But it’s your own mother? I, like, don’t have words for this. I never knew… not really.”

“It’s gotten worse as things have … gotten better.”

“You did tell me she gets spun up about the money. And Becka… Becka mentioned some kind of family drama… I guess I didn’t think much of that at the time…”

He nodded as he leaned heavier into his palm.

Coll was quiet, her discussion with Becka running through her mind again suddenly. So it’s open, but it’s scary. Make it less scary.

Her head pounded. Maybe he needs to feel less like he’s trying to get something and more like he belongs there - like this is something that belongs to him. Like he deserves it.

Slowly, she started again. “I know you are trying to protect me but,” she took a deep breath, “I’d rather just know everything. Same as I told Jen… I can handle it; I just need to know whatever it is.”

He shrugged, “I don’t even know what she’s capable of anymore.”

She didn’t respond. Her eyes moved around the room.

“I’m pretty sure she knows. And… It’s fine.” she began, admitting defeat as she got to her feet and walked in his direction. “I’m not interested in fighting … her or it or whatever. It doesn’t matter.” She placed her hands on his arms, “Remember when you told me that I make you feel like things are possible?”

“you do.”

“That’s what matters.”

“Which is why I want to protect you.” He said in frustration.

She shook her head, “I appreciate that so much. But those real, amazing, important things that I make you feel are possible are the things worth protecting.” She looked at him carefully, “willing to risk it.”

“But isn’t she right?”

“About what?”

He looked sad, and it made her nervous.

“Getting involved in this.”

“No. She is wrong.” She said definitively. “She’s wrong about a lot of things. Nick, your mother spent an hour deliberately saying things that would make you feel bad, saying pointed things to both of us. Saying my parents want me with a Yale grad, saying I would be crazy to get involved with you, telling you you’re destined to be with an airhead… but in reality none of that is true. She knew what she was doing, and I hate that she would want to make you feel like you don’t deserve something good - like you’re not … enough for it. Or like I’m too good for you- like I’m not an adult who can make my own decision. But she’s wrong. I know your life is chaotic, I’m still here. Is it intimidating? Yes. But it’s okay. And I’m not an airhead. And I don’t care about whether you went to Yale or not. And neither do my parents. I didn’t even go to Yale!”

He smiled weakly at her.

life with him. Some new ideal. “I think-“she stopped, “I know you are enough. And anyone who makes you feel like you’re not... good enough or stable enough for something that isn’t fleeting and meaningless is wrong. So let her do what she will do, and we will do what we will do…”

“Which is?”

“Whatever we want.”

“I want to be with you, and I want it to be normal.”

“That seems unlikely to ever happen… not just because of your mother.” She wrinkled her nose, “But we can be together, and it can be our version of normal. Just… tell me what you want…”

“Everything.

“Me too.”

“I want everything with you.”

Her heart rate increased, her body felt warm again. “You can have it.” She said thoughtfully, “you can have everything. All the amazing, real things that matter are possible, and you can have them.”

“They aren’t possible without you.”

Her heart was in her throat, and she fell in even deeper love with him instantly.

“And I’m not going anywhere, so let me help you protect them. I’m on your team.”

His hand slid around the side of her face drawing her closer to him, “I’m not used to this.”

She didn’t even know exactly what he meant, but she felt it deeply that she agreed. “Neither am i. It’s not always gonna be easy, and I’m okay with that. Nick, that’s part of it - that’s all in.”

He nodded, understandingly, and kissed her.

“I love you.” He said.

She was overwhelmed thinking of the past eighteen hours, the many things she still wanted to tell him, and the apparent fact that there hadn’t been a good time to do it yet. She closed her eyes and leaned into him more, his arms wrapping around her, a fleeting feeling of relief swept through her.

“I love you, too.”