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They had settled into a good routine. Kevin’s boys had school from 8 until 3 every day with an hour break for lunch. Both were old enough that they could get on to their lessons and complete their school work with minimal supervision. Kevin checked on them periodically and answered questions when they had them, but for the most part they worked quietly upstairs while Nick and Kevin entertained the two younger kids.

In the evenings after school time was over they would all gather in the kitchen, cooking and chatting before all six would sit down together and eat. Then Kevin would spend time one on one with each of his boys, each getting at least an hour before it was time for baths and story time. Each evening they all would gather in the living room to read. Maxwell and Mason had to practice as part of their lessons so they along with Kevin and Nick would take turns reading stories out loud to Odin and Saoirse as well as themselves. Kevin cherished these evenings, cherished the time where to an outside observer would seem like they were one big happy family. Hell, the shock of blonde hair his children inherited from their mother, Kevin sometimes could even fantasize they were completely their kids, his features muddied with some of Kristin’s had created two startling beautiful children. With Nick’s blonde hair and blue eyes, so similar to his sons, he could, at times pretend they had made them together. A completely ridiculous thought, but they were his.

By Wednesday, Kevin could tell something was bothering his oldest. He didn’t want push, Mason usually came to him right away when there was something wrong. Kevin hesitated in pressing the issue, but decided if Mason hadn’t fessed up by that evening he intended to talk to him about it. They only had three more days together until they went back to Kristin’s. He didn’t want to waste any of their precious time with Mason upset. Several days while the boys were doing their schooling Kevin had sealed himself off in the studio, trying to get the words swimming in his head down on paper. While there were only a handful of his songs actually recorded, Kevin was an advent songwriter. He wrote all the time. He wrote for himself, trial material for the group, he’d even written several songs for other musicians and musical groups. He just felt the need to get the words that spun around in his head down on paper.

While they were all working, Nick had spent the week reconnecting with his own children. Playing, singing and dancing and watching movies. Every time Kevin came downstairs to get lunch or snacks for his boys he always found them in a new adventure. It was good to see. It warmed Kevin’s heart knowing how much this time meant to the other man. His boys seemed to enjoy having them there too. They weren’t sure on how to interact with Saoirse much besides reading, but they spent a lot of time with Odin, Nick too. They had introduced him to Fortnite and Minecraft and they often were all playing games until Kevin declared bedtime and turned off the television. At least in his mind it seemed to be working out well.

Nick still hadn’t mentioned much about the lawyer, but had another meeting at the end of the week so Kevin was hoping he would open up more after their second meeting. He knew Nick had signed the initial paperwork to get started and paid the retainer. Kevin was trying not to fixate on the conclusion of his friend’s marriage, but it was constantly on his mind.

His phone chimed and he stopped doodling on the page to answer it. Oftentimes when he was writing he would end up with several pages of doodles as well as he got stuck and mulled over the words he was trying to say. Glancing down at his phone he read a text message from Kristin.

Kristin: “How’s everything going over there?”

He smiled. He hadn’t heard anything from her since Saturday night. He was glad she had given him space, especially after how they ended the evening. He texted back.

“It’s going well. The boys are doing their schoolwork right now and then we’re going to make dinner. They miss you.”

Kristin: “I miss them too. Just a few more days. Remind me when I come get the boys that I have something for you.”

“Thanks Kris. I’ll try to remember. Have you talked to Mason at all?”

Kristin: “I talked to him last night. Why?”

“Did he mention anything to you or sound strange? He’s acting weird, but won’t talk to me about it. I’ve decided I’m going to corner him this evening if he doesn’t talk to me before.”

Kristin: “Not at all. He was telling me about his math test. He seemed completely normal to me. If you sense something is off then I’m sure something is bothering him. It just might not be big enough for him to say anything to you about it. Let me know what you find out.”

“I will. Hopefully I’m just overreacting.”

He shut off his phone and shoved it in his pocket. He was getting hungry. Locking his notebook in the desk in the studio he wandered to Maxwell’s room. Peaking in he saw him on a video call with his class. He pulled the door closed and then headed towards Mason’s room. He was working quietly at his desk.

“Hey buddy,” Kevin said taking a seat on the edge of Mason’s bed.

“Oh hey dad,” he said glancing up from his notebook.

“What are you working on?” he said peering over Mason’s shoulder to glance at his assignment.

“I’m just doing some practice problems for my math test on Friday. It’s going to be a big part of our grade for the semester so I want to make sure I’m ready.” Mason said smiling.

Kevin was so proud of his work ethic and his determination to do well. “It’s great to study bud, I’m really proud of you.”

They sat in silence for a couple of moments. Finally Kevin couldn’t wait any more. “Is your math test what’s been bothering you this week?” Kevin asked gently, placing his hand on Mason’s arm.

Mason stopped writing but didn’t respond right away. He put his pencil down and looked at his father. “A little bit.”

Kevin looked at him quizzically. “Is that all?”

Mason sighed and shook his head, but refused to look up at him.

“What’s going on Mason? What’s got you upset?”

“You’ll think it’s stupid.” Mason said quietly.

“I don’t think anything that bothers you or Max is stupid. Tell me.” Kevin said lifting Mason’s chin to make the child look up at him.

“I don’t want you to put up the Christmas tree with Odin and Nick while we’re at moms.” Mason said in a huff.

Kevin was taken aback. Was this what had been bugging his son? “Is that what’s wrong? Why in the world would you think I would do something like that without you. That’s something we always do together.”

“Because you’ve mentioned decorating a couple of times and I know you like to do it early and Max and I have to go back to mom’s on Saturday and then it will be a whole 'nother week before we’re back. I was scared we would come back and you guys would have done it all and we would be left out.” Mason said sadly.

“Do you have a problem with Nick and the kids being here?” Kevin asked, hoping this wasn’t the case.

“No! I like it a lot. I just don’t want to miss out on stuff with you because you and mom aren’t together anymore.” Mason said.

“I promise buddy. We will do it the day you come back from your mom’s. I swear no decoration will go up without you and Max being here to help okay?” Kevin said.

Mason nodded, his eyes shining. “Thanks dad.”

“I love you kiddo. I’m going to go get some lunch together. I’ll bring yours up in just a little bit.” Kevin stood and ruffled his blonde hair.

He was relieved to get to the bottom of his son’s discomfort and was even more relieved it wasn’t anything serious. Putting up the tree wasn’t even something that had crossed his mind that heavily, let alone picking a day to do it. He reminded himself that they were at the beginnings of separating right before Christmas last year and the uncertainty probably made Mason feel as scared as both kids had felt back then. He made a mental note to be a little easier on both of them. The time since the divorce had gone so quickly for him, and being that it was he who had ultimately asked for it, he’d been so relieved it was over and done with. He had to remind himself it wasn’t the same for the boys, who didn’t fully understand and would never know the true reasons behind it.

He went down the stairs as quietly as possible, not sure who was napping or what was going on on the levels below. This is how most of the afternoons went. He would barely emerge from the studio to eat and feed the kids, opting to spend all of his time channeling the music that seemed to be flowing through his fingers lately. He was very thankful for the inspiration, but knew it was coming from the man who’d moved into his home.

Once he got to the first floor of the house he peeked into the living room to see Nick and Odin curled up together asleep on the couch. It was the cutest sight Kevin had ever seen. Again he had the strongest urge to brush the hair from Nick’s forehead and follow his fingertips with his lips. What he wouldn’t give to be able to brush his lips across the other man’s. Saoirse was nowhere to be seen, probably asleep in her room Kevin thought.

He breathed heavily and turned on his heel to head to the kitchen. He took several deep breaths while preparing lunch, hopeful to ease the heat in his chest. The heat that appeared anytime he allowed his mind to wonder what it would actually be like to be with the other man. Kevin knew it was nothing more than a fantasy, but he lived for the dreams of being able to touch him, kiss him, taste him. If given the chance, he would never allow Nick to believe for a moment that he was anything less than loved. That’s what drove him crazy about Lauren’s behavior. She had him. Had the thing that Kevin had longed for, dreamed of for so long that it just felt like a part of him. And she had taken it for granted, taken him for granted. She had something that Kevin would never have the chance to have, and it broke Kevin’s heart to know that she had squandered it, and in the end hurt Nick and the kids. Kevin would never hurt him. All Kevin wanted was to love him, but that would never happen the way he longed for. Didn’t mean he wasn’t going to take care of them now and show them how much he loved all of them, even if it couldn’t be in the way he so desperately wanted.

Kevin was shaken from his thoughts as a loud shriek pierced the air. Kevin bolted from the kitchen and up the stairs in seconds. He made it to Saoirse’s door in record time. Throwing open the door he found her on the floor screaming at the top of her lungs. Kevin knelt to the floor and scooped her up in his arms. He had just begun checking her over when Nick busted through the door. “What happened?” he choked out, his eyes wide. “Is she okay?”

“I don’t know. I just got in here. I have no idea what happened.” Kevin said gently. He hugged her to him and shushed her gently, trying to get her to stop screaming. He bounced her softly a couple of times, which seemed to ease her cries. She hiccupped a couple of times, but stopped the screaming. Kevin rubbed her back until she calmed. Once he was continent she wasn’t in immediate danger he laid her gently on the floor to resume checking her over.

“She seems to be okay,” Nick said rubbing his hand over her belly to make her smile. She was giggling now and smiling up at her daddy.

“Yeah I think she is too.” Kevin glanced around the room curious as to what had actually happened. A sneaky suspicion took hold and he picked her up off the floor and put her back in the crib. She smiled at him when he placed her down on the mattress. Kevin ruffled her hair and then held his hand out to help Nick up off the floor. “What’s going on?" he asked.

Kevin pulled him out into the hallway and pulled the door partially closed, leaving just a crack for them to peek through. “I think you’ve got a monkey on your hands and I think she fell trying to climb out of her crib.” Kevin said, turning to look at Nick.

His eyes went wide. “There’s no way. She’s barely one. She’s way too little for that.”

Kevin smiled, “She may be little, but she’s just as rowdy as you are. Watch.” he said gesturing towards the cracked door.

Nick moved closer to the door and pressed his face into the crack. He watched her quietly for a few moments. Kevin couldn’t see out around Nick’s head, but he was pretty positive about what had happened. Nothing else made sense for how she got out of the crib without the sides falling off. A moment later, his suspicion was confirmed. “There she goes!” Nick yelped, reaching back and grabbing onto Kevin’s hand. “She’s going to fall again!”

“Go in there and get her.” Kevin said chuckling. He squeezed Nick’s hand and then released it, pushing the bedroom door open.

Saoirse glanced up, a startled look on her face as she had one foot over the side of the crib and the other foot was on her tiptoes giving her more room to climb. Nick reached her first and pulled her out of the crib. He sat with her on the floor laughing. “I just can’t believe this.”

Kevin smiled as well and joined them on the floor, sitting down beside Nick. “Maxwell did the same thing. He wasn’t much older than Saoirse. Looks like we’re going to have to convert her crib to a toddler bed.” He leaned back on his hands to stretch his back. Nick shook his head. “I guess so. I won’t be able to trust her in it with the side on anymore.”

“We’ll do it this evening. If she’s going to be this mobile I need to get the gates put up too.”

Nick smiled at him and watched Saoirse play. He was thankful she wasn’t hurt in the fall, and once again, extremely thankful for the other man. Nick shifted on the floor until he could lean against the other man. They sat like that for several moments, innocently pressed against each other, but even something as mundane as this was filling Kevin’s head with less than innocent thoughts. He wanted nothing more than to push the other man the rest of the way onto the floor and kiss him senseless. But that wasn’t something he could do, so instead he relished the time and the touches he did get, even the innocent ones.

-

“Can we listen to Christmas music while we make dinner dad?” Maxwell asked, bouncing into the kitchen later that night.

“Sure buddy. What’s got you in the Christmas spirit?” Kevin asked, taking taco ingredients out of the fridge.

“Mason told me you agreed to wait until we’re back to put up the tree. I know we don’t have time to do it before we go back to mom’s now, but we really wanted to make sure you waited.” Maxwell said fiddling with the iPod dock on the wall.

Kevin couldn’t believe both of his kids had been worried he’d put the tree up without them but neither had felt like they could say something about it. That really bothered him. Of course he would wait for his children. He just couldn’t figure out their logic on why he would do something like that without them, especially after the year they had all had. “Why would you think I wouldn’t wait for you?” he said, turning to look at his youngest.

Maxwell shrugged. “Mason said you probably wanted to do it now and not have to wait on us since we would be gone so long.” he said sadly.

“Max, I love you. You and your brother are the most important things in the world to me. I will never do anything like that without you two being involved okay? I know this year has been hard, getting used to your mom and I not being together, but we both love you very much, okay. You’ll always come first.”

That seemed to appease him and he set to work looking for a song to play. Kevin got out the cutting board and began dicing tomatoes and onions. Nick wandered in a few moments later followed by Mason. They were laughing and joking about the game they had just played. Kevin smiled watching them chat animatedly together.

“Christmas music already?” Nick asked, walking around the island to wash his hands.

“Yup.” Maxwell said, “We’re getting into the Christmas spirit.”

Everyone laughed. Most dinner prep was like this. It made Kevin incredibly thankful to have a houseful of people. He thought for a second about how lonely the house had always felt when the boys were with Kristin and he was alone. He never wanted to go back there. “Why didn’t we ever record a Christmas album?” Nick asked, bumping his hip against Kevin’s as he reached for the taco seasoning.

Nick set to work browning the meat on the stove, while Kevin finished chopping the veggies and heating the taco shells. “It never really worked out, time wise. We’ve talked about it several times, but something always comes up.”

“Dad's written a bunch of Christmas songs.” Mason said grabbing a drink from the fridge and sitting on the island bar stool.

“You have?” Nick asked, turning to look at the older man.

“Yeah! N Sync even recorded one of them.” Mason broke out before Kevin had a chance to answer.

Nick’s head whipped around. “What? How did I not know this? When? What song?” Nick asked a million questions all at once.

Kevin blushed and waved him off. “How in the world did you know that?” Kevin asked Mason. “That happened years ago, way before you were even thought of.”

Mason shrugged. “Mom told me.” He took another drink and then swiveled off the barstool. He headed out of the kitchen. “Let me know when it’s time to eat.”

“Kev??” Nick asked curiously. “How did I not know about this? Do the others know?”

Kevin blushed again and shrugged. “It’s not a big deal. I have no idea if they know, it wasn’t a huge thing. Chris called needing help rounding out their Christmas cd several years ago and I had a couple of songs I’d written that we’d never had the need to use so they used it.”

“I just can’t believe it.” Nick said.

Kevin laughed. “Why? I’ve written a lot of songs that others have recorded.”

This caused Nick to stop completely and turn to look at him. “Seriously? I had no idea. Why didn’t you ever tell us?”

“It’s really not that big of a deal. Sometimes I have too many ideas and a lot of them don’t always fit with our image or our sound, but they are still good songs, so when management passes on us using them, then I sell them independently.”

“I never knew this. I feel like an idiot.” Nick said, turning back to the stove.

“Don’t be like that. It’s really not a big deal. Plus, even though we’ve lived out of each other’s pockets for years doesn’t mean we know everything there is to know about each other.”

Kevin’s words hung in the air, each thinking about how much truth there really was to that statement.