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Kevin grabbed the tea kettle and filled it with water as he reentered the kitchen. He wanted something hot to drink, but didn’t think more coffee was a good idea right now. He couldn’t believe where this day had gone. His plan for the day had drastically changed in only a few short hours. As much he usually got annoyed when plans changed at the last minute, he just couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed about these turn of events. Not when Nick was in the state he was in. The water boiled quickly and Kevin grabbed a mug and tea bag from the cabinet as quietly as possible. Tea in hand he slipped silently out of the kitchen and onto the back patio. He closed the door behind him and settled back down into the rocking chair.

He closed his eyes and rocked softly back and forth. The wind was back. He wished he’d thought to grab his cardigan before coming back outside but there was no way he was going to chance going back inside and possibly waking everyone up. He took a few more sips of his tea in hopes it would be good enough to keep him warm. He wrapped his hands around the mug and thought about what Brian had said.

You know why Kevin. It’s always been you. If something is really wrong with Nicky there’s nowhere else he would feel comfortable going.

The words played over and over in his head ever since he’d read them. Sure he could have seen that a few years ago, before he married Lauren, before the kids, before Kevin’s own divorce. But none of this seemed feasible anymore. He tried to think about the last time they’d talked, really talked. It had probably more than a year since they’d had a meaningful conversation. Sure they had shared a quick update here and there, talked about work and menial things, but nothing of any substance. It had been almost five months since he’d even seen the younger man and then that had just been for a meeting with their management. They had all agreed at the beginning of the year that with everything going on in the world they needed to take the year and just spend time with their families, work on themselves, work where they could be safe, but no touring or recording until things got back to a new semblance of normal for everyone.

He’d come back home to Kentucky where he split custody with Kristin, one week on, one week off and he’d slipped into a quiet life of parenthood and writing. He was thankful for the break, time to reconnect with his kids. He always missed a lot when they were on the road and since the divorce, Kristin wasn’t as willing to uproot her schedule at a moment’s notice to travel the world with him like she’d used to. He understood, really. The boys were getting older, becoming their own people and didn’t want to constantly have to leave their friends. It was something they would all have to get used to next year when they began recording again, but for now, Kevin was soaking up as much time with them as he could.

He’d expected that Nick went back to Vegas, but admittedly, he hadn’t really thought to check in much. Always waiting for the younger man to make the first move. He wasn’t sure why that was. He called the others whenever the whim struck him, but with Nick, he’d always wait for Nick to call first. He’d usually tell himself it was because he had mothered Nick for so many years he didn’t want to get to the point where he would push the younger man away for good with his well meaning probing or opinions.

Kevin was started out of his thoughts as he heard the screen door to the kitchen open behind him. He turned in his rocker slightly to see the exhausted face of the younger man. Nick stumbled out onto the patio and collapsed into the rocker beside Kevins. They sat in silence for a few moments, the only sounds came from the wind and the squeaking of the rocking chairs as they rocked back and forth. The rhythmic notion of the rocker and the wind was usually enough to relax Kevin and he was ashamed to say that more than once one of his boys had found him sound asleep out here. There was just something about being in the Kentucky air that brought him right back to being a child, where he could fall asleep at any moment and in any place. After several moments Kevin took a chance and glanced over at his younger friend. Nick was leaned back in the chair, his eyes closed but the slightest look of peace on his face for the first time since he’d arrived. Nature had struck again, claiming another victim.

Kevin got up quietly and went back into the kitchen as quietly as possible. He grabbed his cardigan from the kitchen chair and slipped it on before heating the water kettle again. He grabbed a plate and the pb&js he’d made for Nick earlier. Once the water boiled he retrieved another mug and tea bag. Knowing Nick would never drink the tea straight like Kevin did he grabbed the honey pot and swirled honey across the top of the mug and stirred it gently. Once he had his provisions, he went back to the patio, being as quiet as possible not to wake the children. Nick was looking out over the yard when he came back outside.

“It’s beautiful out here Kevin.” Nick said softly watching the squirrel family chase each other up one of the trees further out in the yard.

“It really is. Being here is magical sometimes. Not just because it’s home, but the air, the foliage, everything about this place just soothes me.”

Kevin proffered the mug and sandwiches to Nick. Nick smiled gratefully and took both from Kevin’s outstretched hands. “Thanks. I haven’t eaten today. I didn’t even realize I was hungry until just now. Jesus, Odin must have been starving.” Nick said shaking his head, his eyes filling with tears once again.

Kevin caught one of Nick’s hands in his own as he flung them around. Nick had always used his hands to talk and it was usually more pronounced when he was upset. Squeezing it gently Kevin spoke, rubbing his thumb back and forth on the back of Nick’s hand. “Eat baby. We’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t take care of yourself. Eat and drink and then let’s talk.” He squeezed Nick’s hand again and then released him, sitting back down in his own rocker.

Nick didn’t respond verbally but took a long drink from the mug before placing it on the coffee table in front of him. He made quick work of the sandwiches, realizing he was hungrier than he’d originally thought. Maybe it was just the thought of having to provide the food, think it thorough, make a decision and make it happen that made the idea of eating right now so unappealing that he’d just completely forgot it was something that had to be done. Leave it to Kevin to figure out what was missing and do something about it.

Once the sandwiches were eaten and the tea drank, Nick actually started to feel a little more human. At least that’s what it looked like for Kevin as he continued to sneak glances at the blonde out of the corner of his eye. He didn’t want to push, but he desperately wanted to get Nick talking before the kids woke up. He was afraid if he didn’t they were never going to get through this evening, or however long Nick was staying. And if Nick intended to stay there were things that had to be decided, rooms needed to be reorganized, things moved around. The kids needed their toys and clothes and a place to play.

“I left Lauren.”

Nick’s voice broke Kevin out of the spiral of responsibilities his brain was. “What?” Kevin said shaking the fog off and turning in his rocker to look at the other man.

Nick stared down at his hands, wringing them in and out, over and over again. He didn;t speak for a few moments, just continued to play with his hands. Kevin reached over and slid his hand between Nick’s own to distract him. Nick stared at their clasped hands and threaded their fingers together before he spoke again.

“Lauren has a drinking problem. Like worse than AJ. It’s been going on since before we got married. But I convinced her and myself that we could work through it, that she could get the outpatient help she needed and we would be fine. And we were a lot of the time. When she was pregnant she stopped drinking, both times, after Odin she started again when I went back on tour and I was no longer around to watch her. She lied to me about it, constantly. I came home during one of our breaks to surprise her and found her passed out in the living room with bottles of vodka on the floor. She was passed out cold Kevin, while Odin slept in his crib down the hall. I should have left her then, but we had a baby and I didn’t know what to do. There was a tour going on and I couldn’t bring a baby with me by myself. I never had any kind of support system outside of you guys. I woke her up and we had a knock out drag out fight. She begged me to stay, promising to get help again.

And then we found out she was pregnant with Saoirse and she stopped completely. We were so in love with her and with Odin I thought for sure it was going to stick that we were going to come out on the other side of this thing and everything was going to be wonderful. And then this virus happened and we were suddenly at home, all the time and she started acting really weird. She would stay up later than I would and then sleep in until like noon the next day. I mean I didn’t care about her sleep schedule as much as I cared about how her whole attitude changed. She just wasn’t the same.

About a week ago I found her passed out in the living room again. She had been putting the vodka in water bottles, just like AJ used to. This time, there were two of my babies asleep in the house while she was passed out, completely dead to the world. So bad in fact I had to pour water on her face to get her to wake up. I honestly thought I was going to have to call an ambulance. When she came to, she had a million excuses about how hard this was all on her and how she needed it to feel normal again. I completely lost it. I know how this works. We’ve been down this road so many times with J and I know I am supposed to have more compassion for her because she’s my wife and the mother of my kids, but it’s because of my kids that I am just done man. I am absolutely completely done. I can’t trust her. I can’t trust her as a partner and right now I damn sure can’t trust her as a mother. I took a week and separated in the house, thinking that maybe if she saw I was serious that she would check herself in somewhere and get the help she really needs, but instead she started openly drinking right in front of us, almost taunting. I couldn’t keep the kids in their bedrooms anymore. It was killing us, killing me to stay in that house. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I packed our bags, told her we were done and she wasn’t getting access to the kids until she could prove to me she could be clean and sober and I rented a car and started driving.”

While Nick was talking he continued to stare at their clasped hands, squeezing them every once in a while when the memories became too much to bear. Kevin felt a million feelings at once. He was heartbroken for his friend, for the end of his marriage, for all the shit he’d been hiding trying to be strong for everyone, furious at Lauren for her actions and her inaction in getting help, but most of all, most of all he felt thankful that Nick not only trusted him enough to tell him what was really going on, but trusted him enough to come here. To come to him when he needed someone the most.

“At first I thought about going to our house in the Keys, but I really couldn’t bring myself to go to another place we’ve shared as a family knowing it’s all falling apart. Another part of me was afraid if she got desperate she would come there looking for us. So I came to the only place I could think of where we would be safe, and I guess selfishly, I also knew you would take care of us, and if I’m being completely honest, I could really use that right now.” Nick said softly, his voice breaking as his shoulders started shaking with tears.

In an instant Kevin had slipped out of the rocking chair and was kneeling in front of Nick. He gathered the younger man in his arms and hugged him tightly, allowing the man a safe place to cry. “Shhh Nicky,” Kevin said rubbing small circles on his back the same way he’d done with Saoirse hours ago. It was also the same way Kevin used to comfort Nick when he was younger too, Kevin realized. “I’ve got you baby. I’m not going to let anything happen to any of you. You can stay here as long as you need to. You know that. Of course i’ll take care of you.” Kevin continued to whisper soft words to the blonde as he held him tightly.

Kevin’s own heart was aching for his friend. He wanted nothing more than to take all his pain away, but knew it was something Nick would have to work through on his own. The best thing he could do would be to be there for him and the children, to be the pillar of strength for all of them until Nick could get his strength back. It was time for Kevin, mother hen, to make a comeback and take care of Nick and his family. They were all family, even before they had wives and kids of their own, the five of them had formed a friendship that transcended all others. They were a family unit first, friends second and colleagues third. His family needed him and he would do everything in his power to make things better for the younger man.

Nick pulled back and smiled weakly at the older man. “Kev, I don’t know what to do. I can barely take care of myself at the moment and they need me and I just don’t know how to do it all. I know us showing up here isn’t fair to you, i know you have your own shit going on. I just didn’t know where else to go.” Nick said wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Nick, you are welcome here anytime. For as long as you need. My house is yours. We’re going to get you through this, one day at a time. First though, I need to reorganize some stuff around to give you and the kids some space. The boys are with Kristin all week so that will give us some time to get you three settled. We’ll have a full house a few weeks a month, but I think we will be able to manage just fine until you are back on your feet.” Kevin said squeezing his hand.

“I don’t know how to thank you.” Nick started but Kevin cut him off.

“There’s no thanks necessary. You would do the same if the tables are turned. This is what you do when you care about someone. I love you Nick, and those kids. You are my brother and my friend and I will do everything in my power to help.” Kevin said staring at him intently so he would get the message.
Nick nodded and wrapped his arms around Kevin’s neck hugging the older man to him. They hugged for what felt like eternity, Kevin cradling Nick against his chest, afraid to let him go back into the world. Nick finally pulled away and kissed Kevin lightly on the cheek. “Really, thank you.”

Kevin smiled and got to his feet, crackling and popping all the way. Nick laughed, standing as well “Perhaps it’s you who needs a young thing around to help with chores old man.” Nick said picking up his dishes and following Kevin into the house. Kevin glared at him for a moment before chuckling. “Go check on the kids and I’ll wash these dishes. I have limited food, I was only going to be cooking for one this week and besides, you would not eat anything I had planned. So I need to put in a grocery order. Let me know if there are specific things the kids like to eat and if there’s anything specific you’d like me to order.”

Nick smiled and nodded. “Sounds good. Let me check on them and then I’ll come help.”

Kevin watched him leave the room. Watched the way his hips swayed as he made his way down the hallway towards the living room where his children were sleeping. Living together indefinitely was not going to be easy, and it has nothing to do with having three additional people under his roof.