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He put his hands to his throat and clawed at it. It’s suffocating. I can’t breathe. He stared up at the immense iron gate wrapped in chains. A monster is hiding in there… No… I’ve been here before... This is… the castle on the mountain… A monster… My body is filling with that bright sapphire light… He clenched his fists. It’s burning. He shut his eyes and the chains rattled against the door. After three knocks, they splintered and shattered. I can get in… Behind this iron gate… The darkness and the mist swirled up to meet him. He choked in a breath. There’s only suffocating darkness in here… It’s empty… Us and the dead… Are we even here anymore? Are they? He scanned the pitch black room as he stepped through the gate. It’s just me… Last time, your shell was in this darkness. Waiting for me… Are you still in here, Ashley? Waiting for me… The echo of his footsteps was deafening as he pulled his legs through the swirling mist and darkness. Ugh, this is impossible… It’s like walking through mud… It’s like breathing mud… Where are you? The monster in the dark…

Through the mist, a lone light lit up the darkness.

Ashley… “You…” He choked.

The lone light shot toward him in an instant and a clawed hand wrapped around his cheek. “This scent…” The shadowy voice reverberated through the darkness.

“I’m not Nicky… Don’t call me that…”

He stared at the figure in front of him. Shoeless feet, tattered black pants, simple black mid-thigh length tunic, cream ribbon. This is Ashley…

“Of course you’re not.” The shadowy voice reverberated through the darkness again.

“What?”

The clawed hand clenched on his cheek tightly, creating deep gashes in his skin as it laughed maniacally. “Nicky is a child.”

Nick stared into the face of the shadowy voice. Horns nestled in its fair hair, just like Ashley. Its wings and tail flared behind its body. But its eyes didn’t glow red like he’d thought he’d see.

Its eyes glowed sapphire.

The shadowy demon smirked. “We’re the monster.”

Nick tried to pull back, but the shadowy demon sank its claws deeper into his cheek.

“Mi--Minako!”

“Scream for her as loud as you can! Scream desperately! It gives me life!” It laughed again.

“Minako!”

“No matter how loud you call, no matter how long, she’ll never hear you!” It pulled its hand from his face and licked the blood from its claws. “Delicious.”

Nick jumped back. “Minako!” There’s a gate in here that we shattered to get to the altar room. I have to find it! I have to find it? Why?

The shadowy demon’s smile grew wide and bright, its fangs curling over its lips. “Back in the altar room with the false God? You won’t find her there.” It sank its claws into his cheek again. “So perfect and delicate… And then I defiled her with our darkness.”

Nick growled and his claws pulsed.

“She was exquisite and luscious, succulent and delectable, divine… ravishing…” It licked its claws again.

Nick clenched his fists tightly and snarled, his fangs curving around his lips. His anger burned and flickered as the sapphire light ignited his skin.

It laughed maniacally as its smile grew. “Come back to the darkness, Nick! Where we deserve to be!”

Nick shut his eyes tightly and pushed the shadowy demon away. “I’m not you! I’m never going back to the darkness!”

The shadowy demon smirked psychotically. “Even with her infected in the darkness? When you swore to protect her?”

Nick clenched his fists tightly again, his rage smoldering and searing in flashes of sapphire light.

The shadowy demon cackled. “You are her eternally predictable champion.” It reached out to his cheek again and clenched its claws. “She isn’t our savior! She’s our undoing!”

Nick growled and pulled away, his blood spilling down his cheek as his eyes exuded sapphire light.

“We can be in the dark together!”

Nick narrowed his eyes. I can’t… I have to find that gate… He kicked the shadowy demon forcefully and it tumbled to the ground in a heap.

“Escaping? You’ll never save her from yourself!” It struggled to rise from the ground, clenching its claws into the aged stone.

He leapt over the shadowy demon and began running to the back of the room.

“This is how it starts… We’ll die in the darkness together!” The psychotic smirk became a psychotic laugh.

Nick came to a stop in front of the smaller gated door. He clenched the bars in his fists and tried to shatter them with his grip, but they remained intact.

The shadowy demon snaked its arms around his waist, then leaned in and whispered in his ear. “Trying to use your physical strength to break them? You’re a useless liability. Are you even a cardinal demon?”

Nick gripped the bars tighter, but instead of shattering the bars, the blazing sapphire light licked at his skin again.

The shadowy demon pulled him back toward the mist and darkness. “In the dark, no one sees that you’re a monster.”

Nick released his grip on one of the bars and put his hand to his heart. It flickered with light, but fizzled quickly.

The shadow demon smirked psychotically again. “A weak cardinal demon trying to call the light in the darkness? Your lack of control poisoned you, me, and her.”

Nick clenched both fists tightly as his wings flared, the sapphire light consuming his sight and engulfing his skin in flames. He turned back toward the shadow demon and thrust his hand around its neck.

The shadow demon began laughing, low at first, but increasingly louder and more maniacal. “Let the darkness consume you!”

Nick tightened his grip on the shadow demon’s neck, then froze, distracted by a brief glint on his hand.

“Succumb to the dark!”

Nick turned his hand and wiggled his fingers, examining the glint. My… He pulled his hand from the shadow demon’s neck and cradled it in his other hand. My ring... He fiddled with it briefly and exhaled as though he hadn’t realized he was holding his breath. Minako… He closed his eyes, inhaling and exhaling slowly and deeply as he continued to fiddle with the ring. When he opened his eyes, the whites and irises flashed sapphire, then his own blue eyes shone through with a deep sapphire tint. He put his hand to his chest. Calm… I’m… calm? He snapped his fingers and a bright beam of light burst from them, causing him to flinch and jump backward. The beam fizzled and disappeared.

The shadow demon mimicked him, though it gaped as its breathing quickened.

Nick narrowed his eyes. “I’m not you. I will never go back to the darkness.” He turned back to the bars, quickly snapping his fingers again. Once the beam of light burst from his hand, he gripped it and dragged it through them. He then kicked the bars at the fracture, shattering them under the weight of his foot. He ran through the hole in the broken bars and down the endless corridor.

“She’ll never be there!” The voice of the shadow demon shrieked behind him. “She’ll never wake up and save you!”

Nick ran faster, his footsteps pounding down the hall. She will always wake up! She’s been there before! Always waiting to find me! He darted into the endlessly dark and empty room. This is where they turned to stone… Ashley, the Ruby demons, the Pandoras, my friends… He clenched his fists. I won’t turn to stone. I have to keep running. No matter how dark. No matter how far. “Minako!” She will always save me!

“My precious Nickolas, you’ll die here…”

Not the shadowy demon. He froze as he came face-to-face with the glowing red eyes. Not Ashley either… This is that false God… Why is it back here? He turned back the direction he had been running as he leaped and dodged fragments of stone. Ahead of him, a bright sapphire light illuminated the darkness. He flapped his wings and launched himself from the ground, soaring toward the light in the never ending dark. Once he reached it, he perched on top of the glowing casket and peered in. Faint bursts of sapphire light… slowly gathering into the shape of a person? Minako!

“Sweet pet, you have found her again? What can mere children do?”

I’m not… He shook his head. Again… This has happened before… He gripped his fist at his heart. I have to... I have to hurry… I have to hurry and she’ll… He gripped his hands on the casket as they glowed with a bright and vibrant light. He scraped his hands against it, then flattened them, pouring the light into the casket. Minako! Hurry and come out! I’ll give you everything I have! Help me!

“My darling, Nickolas, you are too late!”

A burst of red light pierced Nick in the chest, stabbing him with hot energy and pushing him back from his perch on the casket. As he fell, he reached back toward the casket. Minako! Save me...

He gasped and bolted upright then put one hand to his chest and gulped air as he gripped the thick linens of the bed with the other. He whirled his head from side to side as he scanned the room before collapsing back to the mat beneath him.

He chuckled nervously. “It’s not the castle… We’re still at Brian’s family’s house… That dream felt… Real…” He put his hand to his head. Over and over again, I keep remembering the castle… Because… everyone was there… I’ve been there with us and them… The castle on the mountain… Back when Brian said he was from the mountains in Safaiananpou, I thought I would like to see them. It’s… different than what I expected… But I remembered that word… Mountain… Why? Because I’d already been there? Or did I try to make myself remember it?

“Sweet pet, you have found her again? What can mere children do?”

The false God, always calling me those sickening names… How could I find her again… What did it say when we were there the last time?


~*~



The robed figure put his hand to his hood momentarily. “There is one casket that I think may interest you again...”

“Casket? Again? What do you mean?!” Nick growled.

The robed figure extended its hand from its side and curled its fingers, as though it reached toward one particular casket and pulled it from the wall.

Nick eyed the caskets closest to him. Slumbering bodies resided within the slender boxes: some almost fully formed, some in pieces, some faint glimmers of light shaped like a person. Nick clenched his fists and turned back to the robed figure. “Casket… Are you saying these bodies are dead to this world?!”

The robed figure’s voice seemed to smirk. “Would you like to see the casket I am presenting you with?” In the distance, one of the caskets gleamed with a brief light.

Nick stepped back and growled.

“My precious Nickolas, I am merely trying to do a service for you. Will you refuse my trust?”

Nick growled and ran toward the casket, his left side seemed to limp beneath the strain of his wounds. He stumbled to the ground as he ran, his body collapsing each moment, yet, he continuously pulled himself up as he ran and reached toward the casket.

“Can you not stand, sweet pet?”

Nick growled.

“Let me give you some assistance.” The robed figure extended his hand toward the casket once more, curling his fingers more forcefully. The blackened box cascaded from its shelf and hurtled into Nick. He crumpled beneath its weight and fell to the ground.

“Is that all your strength?”

Nick pushed the casket away from his weak, limp body before examining its contents. He placed his hand atop the clear casing of the lid. Upon peering inside, his eyes grew wide and his heart raced. The innards of the box emitted a faint sapphire glow. Nick’s voice lowered in pitch. “Is this… Safaiananpou?”

~*~



I thought it was for Safaiananpou, but… It was Minako… Again… Did I… did I already know she was there? Did I know the box was there?

Minako! Hurry and come out! I’ll give you everything I have! Help me!

Did I… try to do that before?
He sat up, raising his knees to his chest and gripping them tightly. That dream… it felt as real as that memory… Just like that dream about the sad house… And my dream where I was calling for Minako when I didn’t remember… Are all my dreams memories? Are they seeping from the darkness? He leaned his head against his knees. I… I can’t wallow here… I have to do something. He stood quickly, stomped to the door and pulled it open forcefully before slamming it behind him and stomping to the middle of the three doors in their alcove. As he slammed his fist into it, the banging echoed throughout the hall.

It swung open quickly, revealing Brian standing in the frame, his eyes wide and his hand splayed against his chest. “Nick! Are you okay?!”

Nick pulled his hand back from the door. “How… how far are we from Aohouseki?”

Brian put his hand to his chin. “A two day hike? Maybe three?”

“How far if we fly? Or if you use your barrier?”

“Flying… probably still a day…” Brian frowned. “What do you need there?”

Nick lowered his head. “We can’t be gone for a day… I promised...” He clenched his fist lightly as he looked back up at Brian. “But, I need to go!”

Brian gripped his staff and nodded. “I can try to get a barrier there for you if you need it. What’s going on?”

Nick frowned. “Were you going somewhere? I don’t want to interrupt you…”

“Just using this time to visit some family and friends while we’re here.” He put his hand to Nick’s shoulder. “It’s fine, they’re not expecting me and they’re probably busy anyway. Are you okay though? You look worried...”

“I just wanted to… ” His shoulders hunched. “I wanted to say goodbye… Properly… Can you help me?”

Brian beamed at him gently. “I would be honored.”

“Is… Minako back? She said she would come back to me first…” He fiddled with his ring.

Brian shook his head. “I haven’t seen her. If she said she would come back to you first, she would have come back to you first.”

Nick frowned. “O-kay… I wanted her to… Next time…”

Brian patted Nick’s shoulder, then pulled him into a hug. “There’s always time. We’ll make sure they’re at peace. Whenever you’re ready.”

Nick took a shaky breath and returned Brian’s hug as he closed his eyes. He breathed calmly in his embrace for a few moments before nodding his head. “Ready.”

~*~



Nick and Brian pushed aside the hanging vines and entered the clearing. As they walked, Nick hung his head, cradling a few large, mostly spherical stones tightly in his arms while his hands shook. Brian shrank back and raised his elbow to his face, his hand clenched tightly around a similar stone, as he tightened his grip on his staff with the other hand.

“Say something…” Nick mumbled meekly.

Brian coughed. “Nick…” He leaned against him. “I’m sorry… it just… It’s suffocating here, like the miasma around the castle, even with the flowers…”

They descended down the slope of the crater. Nick shuffled through the grass and flowers as Brian stepped gingerly over the flower patches.

Brian frowned. “Let’s clear the air here for them…” He paused at the floor of the crater and stared after Nick, who kept shuffling up the next slope.

“Brian?” Nick glanced back.

“Nick… this is… massive…”

He stopped and shook his head. “I have no idea how I did it… Can I even do something like this?”

Brian jogged over to him and stopped in front of him. “Nick… You were alone and scared. When we are threatened, our powers are often boundless.”

He exhaled forcefully. “But they weren’t in the castle?”

“It’s difficult to be infallible when all demons involved feel threatened.” Brian shook his head and glanced away. “Or when you’re more worried about protecting others over yourself.”

Nick laughed darkly. “You’re saying I should be dead.”

“Nick…” Brian frowned, but then pursed his lips before chuckling. “You’ve proven many times that you don’t plan on dying.”

Nick tensed and clutched the stones tighter. “Does anyone?”

Brian smirked. “I meant in the face of certain death.”

He shook his head and shuffled past Brian as he spoke with a biting tone. “Justin doesn’t get to decide how I die.” He continued to trudge up the slope of the crater and stopped about halfway up. He set down the stones and sat in the grass.

Brian followed him up the slope and set down his stone as well before putting his hand on Nick’s shoulder. “Nick…”

Nick’s shoulders trembled as he turned to look up at him, tears spilling from his eyes. “It still hurts… It’s not like when Minako and I first came here when I had no idea why I was sad, but… it still hurts…”

Brian sat beside him and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Brian?”

“It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by all of it. Just because you understand doesn’t mean you need to feel any less sad.”

Nick wiped his sleeve across his face, though tears still streamed down his cheeks afterward, and reciprocated Brian’s hug. “Thank you for coming with me. Let’s send them on their way. They’re ready.”

“As long as you’re ready.” Brian patted Nick’s shoulder and stood. He tapped his staff on the ground three times, then bowed and clapped his hands before joining them in prayer.

Nick stood as well and mimicked Brian’s actions with his hands. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but it’s time and they don’t deserve to linger here.

Brian pulled a small jug from his tunic and removed the stopper. He began pacing over the ground and pouring out drops of water from the jug as he walked and whispered a prayer. When the jug was empty, he returned to Nick’s side, placed the stopper back in the jug and returned it to his tunic. He nodded at Nick.

Nick pulled a small wrap from his tunic and opened it, revealing two small fish and some soy beans. He kneeled down and laid it on the ground, spreading the corners of the wrap flat. “I’m sorry this is late…” he whispered solemnly. He stood and wiped his sleeve across his face again, willing the tears to stop pouring from his eyes. I’m so sorry. If I had been a moment sooner, if I hadn’t left that day… I could have helped. I know this will never be enough, but… I hope it helps you find peace.

Brian bowed, then picked up one stone and placed it on the ground about seven feet from where Nick had placed the offering. Nick bowed, then picked up two stones and placed them on the ground near the first stone, creating a row. They added the last three stones to the row, then stepped back toward the offering. Brian then pulled six incense sticks each tied with a small white banner from his tunic and handed a few of them to Nick. They both bowed, then placed them in the ground in front of each stone before returning to stand beside the offering.

Brian nodded at Nick. “Are you ready?”

Nick lowered his head and fiddled with his ring. “I wish Minako was here…” So they could meet once...

Brian pat Nick’s shoulder. “We’ll make more time again.”

Nick closed his eyes as he fiddled with his ring again and took a few more deep breaths. He then placed his hands to his chest as his palms glowed. He bowed, then walked back toward the incense and pulled his palms out from his chest, revealing a handful of small orbs. He placed one orb on each of the sticks, which ignited and smoked as he walked to the next one. When he had placed all six, he returned to Brian, who bowed, then held his hands in prayer. Nick mimicked him but kept his head lowered.

“Solar demons, the eldest son presents you with offerings to light your way. Find peace.”

The flames on the incense flickered and danced as the smoke whispered into the air.

“Find peace,” Nick whispered solemnly. I hope my small powers are enough to send you on your way, to make this place less horrible. I promise you, I’ll do everything I can to uphold our legacy and become a strong celestial demon. I’ll keep trying… And then maybe I can always light your way in the darkness...

Chapter End Notes:
I loved coming up with a list of words that were reminiscent of sex and food. So twisted, haha.

Nick's dream is pulling a little from PBox's Chapter Forty-Four "Disciple" and Chapter Forty-Five "God" if you felt like revisiting them. But then again, it's PBox, so it's possible it's a "dream" and a memory.