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Nick was looking forward to his solo tour for some time now and it was crazy to him that it was already January and time to go on the road. Sure, he loved touring with the other boys but it was just something about doing his own music that he liked too. He loved having freedom to create and entertain on his own terms without having to vote on things or wait on other people. As that was, when Nick kicked off his solo tour for I’m Taking Off on his birthday he was in great spirits. 


Nick was whistling as he went around grabbing clothes, throwing them into a suitcase in no particular way. Kevin used to get on his case for how he packed, but he always said that folding stuff in a suitcase was a waste of time because he wasn’t going to put it in a drawer anyway. Suddenly, Nick heard the Skype ringtone coming from his laptop so he answered it. 


“Hey there, little man!” Kevin’s voice came over the speaker. Nick smiled at him and sat down at the desk in the corner of his room. 


“Hey, Kev.” 


“I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and good luck tonight.” 


“Thank you, you’re the first one to call me. I guess everyone else is busy.” Nick blushed, acting like he wasn’t a little hurt the other guys in the group hadn’t really called him. Lauren had gotten him some cupcakes though so it wasn’t all bad. As Nick thought of a lie to pretend he was happy, his phone buzzed with a text from AJ. It made Nick feel a little better. 


“Hey, it happens. I am sorry I couldn’t make it to this show, but Kris and I send our love. Maybe I’ll catch you another time. I’d love to hear your new music.” Kevin replied over the speaker. Nick was happy to hear this as well because Kevin’s opinion meant more than he let on and he hated that he never told Kevin how he felt. The truth was, he was afraid to disappoint him. Kevin was in a way like a father to him, more than his own had been. His dad had never supported his music career since the days when he was in the talent competitions in Florida. Nick had even given him his winnings from the first big competition he had entered, feeling so proud that he helped buy his family an air conditioner. His dad didn’t really seem to care though and Nick was disappointed. He kept at what he did because he thought he was helping his family. As he got older, Nick realized he was really doing what he did because he loved it and his family never appreciated it. 


“Thanks, Kevin. If you wanna come to any shows, let me know and I can get you in. I’ll talk to you later. Thanks for calling.” Nick smiled before getting off of Skype. He went back to packing, thinking about Kevin coming back to the group. Nick was incredibly happy for everything happening with the band right now, but part of him just was uneasy about change. He had always felt this way about anything new, especially about dating Lauren. He was in love with her and that scared him because he was afraid she would leave. People leaving was something Nick had never been good with and that was why he blew up at Kevin when he left. Thankfully they were on good terms again.     One day he’d tell Kevin the truth. 


"You're kind of quiet," Lauren pointed out as she walked into their bedroom, watching him dress. The two of them were preparing to fly to Las Vegas from their home in Tennesee for an event Nick was holding during the afternoon and the show that night. 


"I was just thinking about some stuff. Ready to go?" Nick smiled, walking over to his girlfriend and kissing her. It was going to be a good night for sure. Nick decided to forget about everything and just have a good time. 


"I've been waiting on you, birthday boy." Lauren giggled. Nick kissed her again and they picked up their bags to head out. 




“Have a good trip, sweetie.” Kristen said as she kissed Kevin goodbye a couple of days later. Kevin snickered to himself as he got into the taxi cab because he was going to surprise Nick on the road. Nick had no clue that Kevin was coming but he’d booked a flight anyway and was now on the way to the airport for a flight to South Carolina. He had let Lauren know of course because he needed some information on where they were staying and whatnot but he was excited. 


“I’ll call you when I get there.” Kevin had told his wife, kissing her back. As the cab pulled into LAX airport, Keivn’s phone buzzed with a text from Lauren.


“Kevin, I hate to do this last minute and I hope you haven't boarded your plane yet….but it’s not a good idea to come see Nick right now.”



Kevin got out of the cab and called her immediately. 


“Hi, Lauren. Is everything okay? I just got to the airport.” Kevin asked, heading towards the check in counter. He could hear noise in the background but it was muffled. 


“I don’t think it’s a good time for you to come out here. Nick found out his sister passed away.” Lauren half whispered. Kevin’s heart dropped to his stomach, knowing Nick’s sisters were pretty young considering Nick himself was 32. 


“What happened?” 


“Nobody really knows details yet, but his brother called him to tell him about Leslie. It was Leslie. I- I know you wanted to surprise Nick but he’s not in any state to see anyone right now. I don’t even know if he’s going ahead with the concert tonight. He’s shut himself in the bathroom and won’t talk to any of us.” Lauren sniffed, on the verge of tears. Kevin started tearing up as well. 


“Well, maybe I should come out there anyway. It sounds like you both need some company.” Kevin offered. He heard more muffled noises, including someone crying and a door closing before Lauren sniffed again. 


“I appreciate it, but I think it’s better if you stay there. You can try to call a bit later if you like. He’s not talking to anybody right now. I can’t get him to come out of the bathroom, I don’t know what to do. He’s been like this for hours since Aaron called.” 


“I have an idea. Tell him that I’m on the phone and see if he’ll talk to me,” Kevin said, composing himself quickly in case the plan worked so Nick didn’t hear that he was upset. Unfortunately, Nick wouldn’t come to the phone and Kevin felt horrible. He ended up going home, which surprised Kristin but she understood when he explained. 


“He wouldn’t even talk to me.” Kevin said when she made him a cup of coffee and they sat down at the kitchen table. 


“Maybe he just needs a little time.” Kristin replied, putting her hand over his. She squeezed it as they smiled at each other. 



“Nick, please talk to me.” Lauren called through the bathroom door for the umpteenth time. She felt bad for turning Kevin away earlier, but she knew Nick was not in any state to see anyone. He’d been on the bathroom floor for a few hours, not speaking to anyone since Aaron had called. He had a concert and meet and greet that evening and Nick’s manager was calling, asking if he was going to go through with it. Lauren had no way to answer any of the questions because Nick wouldn’t even speak to her.


On the other side of the door, Nick wiped his eyes. He was devastated over Leslie because she had died of a drug overdose with a young daughter. Nick didn’t want to talk to Lauren but he wanted to talk to someone so he dialed the first number that came up in his phone. 


“Hey, are you okay?” 


“I don’t know what to do, Kev. I’m supposed to do all that stuff tonight with fans and I just don’t think I’m up for it. I just keep thinking about Les-Leslie, and that it could have been me. It could have been me, Kevin. This is my fault. I should have helped her…..” Nick started, trying not to cry and failing at it. 


Kevin hated the way Nick would blame himself when things like this happened. Nick would either wallow or blame himself, even if there was nothing he could have done.


“Please don’t blame yourself. How could this be your fault?” Kevin asked gently. 


"I pus-pushed her away. Like I do to everyone. Like I did to Brian. Like I did to you. I make people go away." 


Kevin wished he was with him so he could wrap him in a hug because he heard the pain in Nick's voice. 


"You didn't push us away."


"What am I going to d-do?" 


"Nick, you are going to get off of the bathroom floor, wash up and make a decision about your concert. I know you don't want to disappoint your fans, but right now you are upset and if you need to take off, I'm sure they will understand. You need to take care of yourself." Kevin told him. Nick was silent for a few moments, sniffing again. 


"You're right, but what I need is to perform. I can't sit around here. Performing makes me happier than anything. I'm going to do the show. I will celebrate my sister's life through music. Thank you for talking to me." he said finally. Kevin smiled. 


"I'm glad I could help. I was going to come and surprise you but Lauren didn't think you'd be up for it right now." 


"She was right." Nick chuckled softly, half laughing and half still crying. 


"You can call me again later if you still need me. I'll keep my phone on me." Kevin promised. He was worried about Nick, but if seemed as if Nick had control of things now. 


"Thanks, bro." Nick said before they hung up. Kevin was happy that they were still on good terms because although none of them would admit, they still needed one another. They were brothers and always would be.