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For some reason, AJ couldn't open his eyes. He felt himself begin to panic, but suddenly a crack of light appeared, and he struggled to lift his eyelids further. With more effort than was normal, he managed to open his eyes, but what he saw scared him even more.

A hospital? Why was he in the hospital?

AJ turned his head to look around and found his entire body stiff. His neck resisted, but he managed to look to his right where a small glass window, looking into the hallway, stood just above a small counter with a sink. To the left of that was a large door that was closed.

Good, AJ thought to himself. I don't want to see anyone right now, anyways.

But why? Why didn't he want to see anyone?

For the life of him, AJ couldn't think of why he had these feeling of anger and bitterness. Actually, once he thought about it, he couldn't remember much of anything. He knew the group had been in New Orleans, but had they already done the concert? Why was he in this hospital? His mind was blurry, and it was frustrating him the more he tried to think.

With an annoyed sigh, AJ let his head drop. He was already exhausted. He felt like he'd been asleep for a month the way his body was so heavy and sluggish.

In an attempt to wake his tired muscles up, he bent his knees, drawing them closer to his body. His joints cracked and his muscles stretched, and it felt so good to actually move. Once again, he wondered why his body felt like it had been out of commission for a while, but the great feeling of actually moving it again overwhelmed him.

He realized his head was beginning to throb, particularly on the right side of his face, up towards his forehead. He lifted his arm, intending to bring them up and touch his face, but they were halted in midair, causing his heart to nearly stop completely.

What the hell?

His hands were strapped down. A quick attempt to move his legs any more proved the same thing. Had he pulled his knees up any further to his body, the thick leather straps holding them to the bed would have stopped him.

He lifted his arm as high as the straps would let him, then lowered his head enough so he could touch his forehead. Strangely, he felt a thick layer of gauze.

The door suddenly opened, and AJ looked up in surprise to see an older lady dressed in a nurse's uniform walk in. Her head was down, so she hadn't seen him yet but as soon as he moved again her head snapped up and a look of surprise quickly crossed her face.

"Oh, you're awake!" she exclaimed, obviously flustered. "I--uh--I'll go get your doctor..."

Her voice trailed off as she ran out of the room, and AJ frowned, sinking back into his pillows. This whole situation was getting more and more frustrating. At least a doctor was coming now; maybe he could get some answers.

"Hello Alex."

AJ looked up to see a younger doctor than he'd expected. He had dark hair and was clean-shaven, and he looked at AJ with a kind look, not at all condescending like he'd expected. Still, AJ didn't answer, and the doctor continued as if he hadn't expected him to.

"My name is Sam Ritland," he introduced with a smile. "Do you remember anything about why you're here?"

Hesitating a moment, AJ shook his head, and once again Dr. Ritland looked as if he'd expected AJ's answer to be no.

"Well, I'll share any information with you that you want to know, but first why don't we get rid of these?" he suggested, moving to unfasten the straps holding AJ's limbs down.

"Why..." He trailed off, not having the heart to ask the question, but Dr. Ritland understood.

"When you came in here, you were rather hostile, even though you weren't conscious," he explained. "We put these on you for your protection. The gash on your forehead was deep and wouldn't stop bleeding, and we needed to get it cleaned up and sutured closed. You also have an IV and a few other machines hooked up to you, and we didn't want you to disturb any of them."

He motioned to the machines just behind him, and AJ looked to his side and saw a few of them, beeping and blinking as they measured different things in his body.

"Let's talk about you for a second," Dr. Ritland offered once he'd removed the straps, taking a seat in the chair next to his bed. "How have you been feeling lately?"

AJ frowned. What a question to ask. "Fine."

"Fine?"

AJ nodded, not offering any more information, so Dr. Ritland smiled.

"Alex, if you don't help me any more than that, I'm afraid you'll be in here a lot longer than you want to be."

AJ didn't quite know what the man meant. "We're fine," he shrugged again. "It's the middle of the tour, so we're wearing down, but it's nothing new. We've been through all of this before."

"As I see," the man nodded, looking down at the notebook in his lap. "How long have you been touring?"

AJ rolled his eyes. "Isn't it in your information?"

Dr. Ritland looked prepared. "Let me rephrase my question," he offered. "How long have you been depressed?"

That wasn't a question AJ had expected, and it must have shown in his face.

"Alex, do you remember what happened two nights ago?"

AJ continued the blank stare, still shaken a little too deeply by the doctor's last question.

"Do you remember taking the bottle of pills?" the doctor pressed.

Finally AJ looked at the doctor, realizing that he was in way over his head. Obviously, he had no memory of why he was in the hospital.

"Alex, I've talked to all of your bandmates," Dr. Ritland told him. "They all tell me the same thing, that they've been worried about you for some time, but it's been going on for so long now that they really never thought anything like this would happen."

AJ's eyes glazed over with tears. "I tried to kill myself?" His voice was so weak and scared, he almost didn't recognize it as his own.

Dr. Ritland nodded his head. "Monday morning one of your bandmates found you in your hotel room," he explained. "There was an extremely large amount of morphine in your system, which we're assuming came from the pain medication you had for your ankle?"

AJ nodded, piecing everything together. He'd sprained his ankle in a concert last week, and it'd hurt so bad to even walk on it that the doctor had given him some strong pain relievers to cover up the pain enough so he could at least perform. He remembered asking the doctor for an extra bottle, since he'd be on the road and wouldn't know where he'd be able to refill it if he needed to.

"Alex, I'm going to let you get some rest now," Dr. Ritland said, standing up and sliding the chair back into its original position. "I'll send the nurse in to change your bandage."

AJ just watched the man as he stood next to his bed and looked at him with a rather neutral face.

"I'll come back later, but you try to get some rest. Your body has been through a lot."

With that, the doctor turned and exited the room, letting the door shut quietly behind him. AJ wasn't quite sure what to think. His mind was reeling, but he realized he was too tired to think about anything at the moment. Instead, he settled back into his bed, rolling onto his side a little and pulling the blankets up further to cover his arms, then closed his eyes, hoping this was all just a bad nightmare.