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That’s how it ended.

With one simple letter, his whole world had been turned upside-down.

Howie put the note down and starred at the ink written on it like it would move... like it would bring his beautiful Tori back. He jumped off of his wooden stool, still wide-eyed from shock, and walked out of the kitchen taking the note with him. Why couldn't she see? He loved her. She loved him; at least he thought that she did. What the hell went wrong? Where did they go wrong? There were so many questions, and yet there were no answers.

He willed himself not to cry, for he didn't know what emotions would fit in this situation. Was he supposed to be happy and move on, saying how she was right? Or was he supposed to be mad at her, and his friends? Or was he supposed to feel sorry for himself?

He didn’t miss the obvious irony of the letter. It was fitting that she ended their love with a letter, the same way she began it.

Howie smiled sadly, thinking of how they first met. Thinking more about it, he couldn’t believe that what happened actually happened.


~*~ Late 1999~*~


Touring was taking its toll on Howie. He was finding it harder and harder to make it through each day without breaking down and just crying. No one seemed to notice the turmoil that he was in. Why would they? He was an actor after all… his public persona had to be on at all times… even with friends and family.

Sighing he dropped down onto his bed.

Snorting at the thought of yet another hotel bed, he stood up and went to the stack of letters that were deemed his, and began sorting through them.

This was one of his few refuges, fan letters. Even if there weren’t many in huge burlap sack the way the others were, he still loved reading what fans had to say.

There were about twenty or so this time. He decided to save some of the longer ones for the long bus ride alone on his bus to their next venue after the concert later that night.

He glanced through the shorter ones that declared love for him and his other band-mates, and that requested tickets to see the show, or to see him and the others.

He sighed. Most of the letters always said the same thing. Some even asked him to give a message to one of the other guys.

This wasn’t helping his mood.


~*~


Howie sighed. If only he could go back to that time…

To the time when he first discovered the letter that started it all on the bus that night