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He sat down heavily on his bed with a glass in his hand. He stared at it silently, slowly swirling the liquid inside of it around. He took a deep sigh and took a sip of the expensive wine.

They were supposed to be saving it for a special occasion. Their anniversary.

Taking another sip he leaned back against the headboard and tried to forget that he could be holding her in his arms at that very moment… planning their anniversary together.

‘Guess that won’t happen…’ he thought to himself bitterly. He sighed again.

All he could think about was how it used to be. How he felt when he first asked her to move in with him. How he felt when he first introduced her to his family and friends. How it felt to first meet her face to face. And how he felt when he first read her letter.


~*~Late 1999~*~

After the concert, Howie said a quick goodbye to the others and climbed onto his bus. He sighed in relief as the bus started on its way to the next venue they would be performing at.

He made his way to the back of the bus and changed into his night clothes. He was glad he had taken a shower after the concert. He didn’t feel like having to maneuver his way around the shower in the bathroom on the bus. He laid down and let out a long deep breath.

Deciding that he wasn’t completely tired yet, he started going through the longer letters he has set aside earlier.

The first letter he read talked about what a wonderful group they were, and how happy they as a group made people all over the world.

He sighed and set it aside. It wasn't that he didn’t appreciate the thoughts, but by that point it was redundant.

Going through four more letters which touched on the same subjects, he decided to call it a night.

~*~

He poured himself another glass of wine and sighed.

If only he had went to sleep that night like he planned…

~*~
Deciding to read just one more before falling asleep, Howie picked up a plain looking envelope and began to read.


Dear Howie,

How are you? Really? You just seem so… tired. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I hope that I am wrong on this assumption, but I don’t think that I am. I wish there was something that I could do to relieve the stress that you have. Maybe reading this letter can help. I just want you to know that there is someone who sees and knows what you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid to confide in someone. I won’t lie and say that I’m not hoping that you’ll confide in me, but if not me, then please someone you trust. You are too wonderful a person to let your emotions run you into the ground.

Sincerely,
Tori.


~*~

He chuckled softly remembering the shock and the pull at his heart that the letter had created in him. He still had no idea how she could see through him so easily. Even before they had officially met she knew his heart. That was why he had written back to her so vividly.

He still had her letters. He had saved every one of them. He sat now, staring at the letters which brought the most wonderful woman he had ever met into his life. They had talked about everything in those letters.

Then one day… the letters stopped coming.