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Author's Note: Some warnings do apply to this chapter.

"Tell me about the day the world ended."

The first one out of the building was Grayson James.

Though I’d never met him, I could tell you almost everything about him. He was a twenty-nine year old medical student from Minnesota. Beloved husband, devoted father of two young children (both of whom were safe and sound out here). From his birth date to what he usually ate for breakfast, practically the whole world knew all about him thanks to the hundreds of newspaper articles and television reports that went out every day. The media knew they had a big story, so they ran with it, publishing every detail they could dig up on everyone involved. I wondered how he’d deal with ‘instant’ fame. He went from being virtually anonymous to being one of the most famous people in the world during his days of captivity.

Directly after Grayson James, AJ shuffled out of the building. I almost didn’t recognize him, he’d gotten so…small. And filthy. His hair was excessively wild, and his normally well-groomed goatee had become a full-fledged beard.

I felt Leighanne squeeze my hand as we watched the two men stumble toward the police barricades. Behind them came the sixteen-year-old Stereo King cashier, Donnie “Jake” Jacobs. B-Average student, co-captain of the Ridgeway Tigers soccer team, apparently two-timing two teenage girls, who have been capitalizing on their 15 minutes of fame throughout his ordeal. I’ve heard that one of them has been offered a modeling contract, and the other is in talks for publishing a “tell-all” book. Though I can’t imagine what the media hasn’t already told the world about him.

Do I sound bitter?

I squeezed Leighanne’s hand back as I watched the door, ignoring the police that burst past us and started directing the hostages past the barrier. They had to be next. Please, God, let them be next.

I know I should have been relieved to see Kevin come out the door, and in a way I was. It’s not that I didn’t want him to be okay, too, but I only wanted to see my kids. I needed to know they were okay. They had to be okay.

Like AJ, Kevin was barely recognizable. His eyes were sunken in, and his extremely pale skin seemed to barely stretch across his ribs he’d lost so much weight. I couldn’t help but wonder that if he looked that bad, what must my children look like? I stared at the open door, waiting for them to come out.

But no one did.

I stared at the empty doorway. Kevin wouldn’t have come out without my kids. Not if they were still alive. I felt my heart breaking, and my hand slipped from Leighanne’s.

“Nooooo,” I heard her whimpering as we watched Kevin and AJ being absorbed into the crowd. I knew I should go over and welcome them back. But I couldn’t. I wasn’t sure I could forgive them for being alive when my children weren’t.

“Daddy!” I heard a child yelling, and for a split second I thought it might be Jordan. But of course, it wasn’t. I should have known it wasn’t. For one, it was coming from behind the police lines. For another, I’m really not his daddy. Not yet, anyway. Not that I didn’t imagine myself to be. There were times that I forgot that Jenny and Jordy weren’t biologically mine; I loved them so much. I was ready to be “daddy” for them, and God willing, one day I would be, but they weren’t ready to accept me yet. And then they were taken from me.

It would happen, Leighanne assured me once, when I’d expressed my doubts to her one night just before the whole world went to hell. “Just give them time”, she’d said. Of course I would give them all the time in the world; I loved them. But it still hurt. I wanted so badly to know that they would accept me as family. They liked me, sure, but it wasn’t the same as knowing that they loved me. All it would take was to hear them call me that just once and I’d be the happiest man in the world. Forget money and fame, all I ever really wanted out of life was to make my own family as great as the one I was blessed to be born into. Leighanne didn’t understand why I wanted them to call me that endearment so badly. To them, she was already “Mommy”. But me? I was still “Brian” or in more affectionate times, “Bri-bri”. I had my doubts that I would really ever be anything else to them. They just didn’t seem to connect with me like they did with her.

Or with Nick.

I remember watching them at lunch that last day we saw them.

All through the meal I kept stealing glances in their direction, but they didn’t ever look my way. They were too absorbed in each other and with my best friend. I tried not to think too much of it. I didn’t want to be jealous. But it was hard not to be sometimes. Like when my kids both went to Nick to help them with their coats when we were getting ready to leave. And like the fact that they were so excited to be going with him when we split up. If it weren’t for the fact that we really did want to do a little shopping and I wanted to slip away for a little while, I think I may have let jealousy get the better of me. It was tempting to give in to Leighanne’s misgivings about leaving the kids with Nick. Not because I didn’t think he’d be perfectly capable, and fully responsible for them (he may be goofy, but he wouldn’t do anything to put them at risk) but because it was hard not to be jealous of the way my kids looked up to him.

When we listened to him every day on the radio, I found myself getting even more resentful of him. Every day I grew more and more bitter about the fact that he was with my children, and he wouldn’t tell us how they were. I know that his captors were monitoring everything that he said, and that they…shut him up when he started saying stuff that they didn’t want him to. But, he could have found a way to tell us. Just once. Just a quick, “Brian, they’re okay.” That’s all he would have had to say.

But he never did.

And I hated him for it. Honest to God hated him.

How terrible a person does that make me?

I hated my best friend--my best friend that spent twenty-seven days being tortured and held captive. I didn’t even notice that he hadn’t come out of the building with the others until his final radio broadcast started.

I could tell by the sound of his voice that he knew things were going to…end. I knew he didn’t expect to live through the day. Or maybe that he didn’t want to live through the day. I don’t want to admit this; please don’t hate me, but I didn’t care. You want to know what I was thinking while he was there speaking what he must have felt were his last words? I was so bitter at that point. I hate what I became during those twenty-seven days. May God forgive me, but all I could think was that he deserved to die. I have no excuse for my vengeful thoughts. I wish I did. I wish I could take them back. I’d give anything to have not thought them. But…I did. Especially when I heard his broken voice say the words, “Bri, Leigh…I’m sorry…I…I did my best…please forgive me.” In my mind, he’d killed my children; not by his hand, perhaps, but in my heart I blamed him for not protecting them.

I hated him more as I heard Leighanne wail as she sank to her knees beside me.

I wish I could have consoled her, but I couldn’t move. I was numb at that point. If I moved, I risked losing it. Numb was better than the all-consuming pain that I knew was going to come as soon as I could feel again.

Even though I knew it was over, that my children were dead, I kept staring at that doorway. People moved around me and I could see mouths moving, but didn’t hear a thing that was said. Nothing really existed anymore. Nothing but me and that empty door.

It wasn’t until Leighanne yelled and sound broke back into my consciousness that I realized that the door wasn’t actually empty anymore. Things came back into focus as impossibly, I saw a small blonde figure peeking out the door. My breath caught. Jenny.

Except that she was wearing what appeared to be a man’s t-shirt as a dress rather than the clothing she’d worn that day, she looked the same as she had then. Her hair was neatly braided and her face clean and bright. It was impossible, but I was seeing her. Alive and seemingly quite well. I glanced around to make sure that I wasn’t hallucinating, but others saw her too. I saw though, that AJ and Kevin both seemed just as surprised as I was to see her. Possibly even more so.

Though she seemed unattended, she made no attempt to come out, even as officers tried calling to her. She only stared wide-eyed out into the crowd, obviously spooked.

“Jenny!” Leighanne screamed as she burst toward the police lines. One of the officers grabbed her around the waist and held her back, preventing her from breaking past the barriers. I could see her struggling to get free, to go to our daughter, but the officer wouldn’t let her go.

I would have tried, too, but I was still frozen. I couldn’t make myself move. It was still impossible to me that it was real.

“It’s okay, Jenny,” I heard an unfamiliar male voice calling to my little girl from behind the barricade. “You can come over here, honey.” But Jenny disappeared back into the building without a word.

“No!” Leighanne cried out. She struggled harder to get out of the officer’s grasp. “Let me get her. You bastard! She was free! Why didn’t anyone get her?” A few moments later, Jenny peeked out again. Several more onlookers tried to coax her to come closer, but she only chewed her lip and ducked back into the building again.

After another short time, she finally came all the way out of the building, but made no attempt to run toward safety despite all the attempts of the crowd to coax her closer. I overheard one of the officers saying he’d go get her, but his superior instructed him to wait; they couldn’t risk setting the captors off and killing everyone else inside. If Jordan weren’t still in there, I would have been angry at that call. But my little boy, if he were still alive, was still in there.

“Jenny! Come here, sweetie! Come to mommy!” Leighanne called, but Jenny didn’t budge from her spot near the door. She peered back into the building, clearly upset that she wasn’t being followed.

Finally a little smile broke out on her face and she moved away from the door. I could see her lips moving as she spoke to whoever was coming, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying.

And then Nick was there in the doorway. One of the creeps was using him as a human shield, holding a gun up under his chin. That wasn’t what concerned me, though. What did was the fact that clinging to one of his extremely pale legs was Jordan. A moment later, Jenny was clinging to the other one. The captor holding Nick tried to kick her away, but she held fast.

Their movement was very slow as they progressed toward the waiting van. My children were clearly making it difficult for Nick to move, which in turn was slowing them considerably. This was clearly making the man with the gun more and more agitated with each small step. He continually tried to dislodge my children from Nick’s legs, but they were both too stubborn to let go.

“If you get a clean shot, take it,” I overheard the commanding officer tell his squad. “We can’t let him get the hostages into that van.”

“Jordan, come here honey!” I heard Leighanne yelling with borderline hysteria. Having gotten no response from Jenny, she was now trying to focus on her twin. They rarely separated, so if Leigh could get Jordan to come, surely Jenny would follow. “Please, dear God,” she murmured under her breath before trying one more time. “Jordy!”

Jordan heard his name and for a moment let go of Nick to turn to see who was calling him.

The moments that followed seemed to go by in slow motion.

The man with the gun took Jordan’s moment of inattention to lash out, kicking the boy hard enough to send him sprawling away.

At Jordan’s cry of pain, Nick started to turn on his captor, knocking the gun away from his chin long enough to twist in his captor’s grip. At the same time, Jenny screamed out as if she, too, were feeling Jordan’s pain. She let go of Nick and leapt at the gunman, knocking him off balance. The man stumbled and fell, taking Nick with him. The gun flew from his hand, skittering away on the pavement.

The man desperately tried to keep hold of Nick, trying to keep his human shield in place, but Nick was doing his best to get away from him. He looked up at the twins and yelled for them to run, but they wouldn’t leave him. Nick managed to get to his feet, but his captor was still hanging on to him.

“Get down!” Nick’s hoarse voice called out to my children, and the moment Jenny dropped to the ground beside her brother, Nick turned around, the man still clinging to his back.

The world seemed to go silent as I watched several bullets strike the man’s exposed back simultaneously. He lost his hold on Nick and fell to the ground. At first I didn’t register what had happened; when you see someone shot, you expect there to be lots of blood. But there was no blood seeping from the wounds. There were just several small little blemishes in the skin. Little holes. In just one moment his world stopped.

But the rest of the world moved on.

Nick pitched forward, hitting the wall. He managed to stay on his feet, and was turning back toward the kids as from the corner of my eye I saw another man bursting from the building, his gun drawn. He was running straight toward Nick and the kids. As the first man closed in on Jenny, a second and third both appeared.

Sound returned tenfold with the sound of gunfire filling the air as one of the gunmen began firing into the crowd. Everyone was screaming and suddenly the mob was moving. I was pushed to the ground as people began shoving, trying to get through. Some were pushing to get closer to the barricade and the action while others were pushing to get away.

I saw Leigh still trying to push past the barrier, trying to get to the children. I tried to call to her, but my voice wouldn’t work. I couldn’t see what was going on beyond the barricade, but the sounds were getting worse. Gunshot after gunshot. Screams of hysteria, screams of pain.

I couldn’t get up--people just kept stepping on me, knocking me back over in their own attempts to get to safety. So I just started crawling. Trying to get to Leighanne, or to my children.

“Jenny!” I heard my wife’s scream. “Jor--"

And then my world stopped. I saw my beautiful wife fall to the ground, just feet away from me.

Her eyes were wide open. Her mouth was frozen in mid scream.

And there was a small hole.

Where there shouldn’t be one.

“Leigh?” I whispered, as though she could hear me above the screaming and the gunfire.

She didn’t move. Her eyes didn’t blink.

I felt hands grip me under the arms and I was lifted to my feet.

“Brian!” I heard Kevin’s voice calling to me and a moment later, his face came into focus as he turned me around to face him.

“Leigh?” I pleaded with him to help her.

He only stared at me looking helpless. Then he looked past me, to the ground. Where my Leighanne lay. With her mouth still frozen in mid scream. He looked back at me, his face even paler than it had been when he first got out of the building. His mouth gaped open, but he said nothing as his eyes stared straight down into mine. After a few moments, his mouth closed and he simply shook his head, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

I pushed away from him and turned to help her myself. But he grabbed me, and pulled me back, wrapping his arms around me to keep me from going to her. To my own wife. Whose beautiful blue eyes were still wide open. Staring vacantly.

I think I would have stood there, numbly frozen in Kevin’s grip, staring down into those blue eyes forever if I hadn’t heard two particular screams rise about all the others. Twin voices. Screaming one word with intense desperation.

“DADDY!!!!” I could hear both of their voices screaming for me. I looked up, but could not see them past the police blockade. The sound of gunfire had stopped, but the screams continued. I broke free from Kevin’s weakened grip and pushed my way determinedly to barricade to get to them. “Daddy!”

I broke past the blockade.

And sank to my knees as I saw my children.

Kneeling beside Nick’s fallen body.

“Daddy wake up,” I heard Jordy pleading with him. For a moment, I thought he was dead, but then I saw that his chest was slowly rising and falling.

“Please, Daddy!” Jenny added, tearfully burying her face against his chest, not caring about the blood that was soaking into the t-shirt dress she was wearing.

Nick’s eyes opened slightly and he gave them a tiny smile, a little bit of blood trickling from the corner of his lips as he apparently said something reassuring.

I stared as my children hovered over him.

My hatred grew tenfold.

How dare he?

They were all I had left.

They were my kids. Mine. Not his. The numbness gave way to fire as the hatred burned inside me.

“Brian?” I heard Nick’s weak voice call out to me. I was tempted to turn away, but something wouldn’t let me. I looked at him with pure hatred. But the hatred melted away as I saw his face. Relief flooded his expression and his smile looked so genuine, despite the obvious pain he was in. “Brain!” He tried to rise up, but was clearly too weak and injured. I noticed that his face and chest were littered with all sorts of bruises. Some were probably new within the past hour, others were clearly older. And there were a couple small holes…oh god, no.

I got up and shuffled over to him, kneeling down beside my kids. “Hey, Nick.”

He made a small whimpering sound as he tried again to sit up. Blood leaked from the small holes in his side and in his shoulder.

“Make him better?” Jenny asked as she tugged on my sleeve. I stared at her, as she looked back at me with only bare recognition in her eyes. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she looked at me pleadingly. “Please?” Aside from the tears, she looked perfectly fine. Not a bruise anywhere. I glanced at Jordan, who was likewise completely free of injury. Then back at Nick, who had clearly sustained a lot of damage. Every last trace of the hatred that had carried me through the past weeks vanished. Kevin and AJ hadn’t known that the twins were still alive. Nick not only hadn’t killed them, he’d obviously protected them. At a great cost to himself.

I looked around, trying to find someone who could help. I saw the bodies of three of the four gunmen. The fourth seemed to have disappeared, but he wasn’t my concern. I kept looking. And spotted a paramedic tending to someone I didn’t recognize. “Help! I need help over here,” I called out, motioning for her. But she was too busy helping the other gunshot victim.

I felt a light tugging on my sleeve and looked down at Nick, who was clearly trying to get my attention. His face was turning slightly grey. He opened his mouth, more blood spilling from his lips.

“No. Don’t talk,” I told him. “I’m gonna go get some help--"

He gripped my arm tighter. It was still weak enough a hold that I could easily have pulled away, but the look on his face told me that it was important to him that I stay. I gave in and nodded, settling down on the pavement next to him. He opened his mouth again, obviously tying to say something, but instead he began to cough, sending small spittles of blood flying.

Instinctively I started stroking his hair, much like I used to when we were younger and he needed comforting. Kevin appeared at the corner of my vision and a moment later he was draping his own blanket over Nick, who seemed oblivious to both it and Kevin’s presence. He looked only at me.

“I brought them back for you,” he whispered. “They’re safe. I…wouldn’t let them get hurt.” It was clear that it was very important to him that he tell me that. “I brought them back for you.”

His eyes slid closed again, and I felt the tension completely leave his body as he sank back to the pavement.

“Daddy!!!” Jordy cried, trying to get Nick to open his eyes again, but Nick didn’t respond. If it weren’t for the fact that I could see the blanket rising and falling slightly with Nick’s labored breathing I would have panicked. But my best friend was still alive.

“We need help over here!” I heard Kevin’s voice calling out. A few moments later a paramedic was there, gently pushing me out of the way so he could tend to my best friend.

As soon as I saw that he was being taken care of, I turned my attention to Jennifer and Jordan and hugged them close for the first time in weeks.

I should have been so happy. They were in my arms again. But once again, all I felt was numb.

The paramedics bundled Nick up and raced him to the waiting ambulance while I held the twins for what seemed like hours as they cried…

For their daddy.

First session assessment: Patient exhibits signs of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He reveals feeling emotionally and physically numb and is detatched from those around him. I have scheduled further sessions, but patient is reluctant to commit to further therapy.



Author's note: I didn't mean to kill Leighanne...it just kind of happened...lol. I actually was really bothered at first--I don't like killing characters that are based on real people (at least not in "realistic" fiction--I'm not counting stuff like Frick and Frack are Dead or Frackenstein which are obviously not "realistic" fiction.) I honestly thought about rewriting the chapter when that happened, but after being completely neurotic and running it past a few beta readers (thanks Jenn, Mersey, and Lucy!), I decided that it was meant to happen, so I decided to leave it as it is. I just want to stress that I in no way wish harm on Leighanne (or anyone else mentioned in the story), and have nothing against her.

Please review and calm my neurotic soul ;) Thanks!

--Chaos