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I had left and Nick had just came home. He went into the refrigerater and got out a coke and saw a note on the counter.

Dear Nick,

I don't now how to explain this to you, but this is the best way I know how...I spent years and all of this time Thinking I was better off cause you were mine You always said it was your way or the highway So I'm shiftin' my life into drive I'm getting out,kissin' the past goodbye Like Toby said,"How Do You Like Me now?" This conversation has run dry And I keep telling myself


There's more to me then you
Don't underestimate what I can do Well I'm alright,it's ok
I know I'll make it through Cause there's more to me than you

I'm not sayin' I'm battered and bruised
But I might as well be with the words you use I believe in myself and that makes me stronger Things change, so have I I'm gonna make hay while the sun still shines You can clip my wings,I'm still gonna fly I'm on my own and I'm on my way And keep telling myself


There's more to me then you
Don't underestimate what I can do Well I'm alright,it's ok
I know I'll make it through
Cause there's more to me than you

There was always something that meant more to you them me And I'm just sorry it's taken this for you to see


There's more to me then you
Don't underestimate what I can do Well I'm alright,it's ok
I know I'll make it through
Cause there's more to me than you

Love you always,
Ashley


It was hours away before I reached Maryland and my cell phone rings. I look at it and I knew it was Nick. I didn't answer. I felt so guilty for not being there with him, but Brian was right and I thank him for that.

We finally got to Maryland and I saw the apartment. It was nice looking. Nikki gave me a assuring smile and we both walked up to the apartment, checked in, and got a tour around the apartment.

~~2 months later~~

"I am so bored", Nikki wined, sitting down on the couch, grabbing a magazine.

I was biting my nails.

"Why are you biting your nails?" asked Nikki, knowing I was nervouse about something, but didn't know what.

"Hey tell me when 5 minutes are up", I quickly answered, going into the kitchen.

"Why?" she asked, confused, following me in the kitchen.

"Because I said", I lashed on her, not attentionally.

~~5 long minutes later~~

"Okay, it's been 5 minutes now", Nikki finally said, looking at me strangly.

I dove to the bathroom quickly with Nikki following me.

"What's wrong?" she continualy asked me, until she saw what I was holding and my face went pale.

"Omg Ash?" she said, in disbelief.

I looked at her and then back at he object I was holding.

"Are you?" she suddenly asked me, looking at me. She grabbed the object from me. "Oh my gosh!"

"Nikki, I'm pregnant!", I shouted, feeling I was gonna pass out.

"Let's go to the doctors", Nikki said all the sudden, grabbing my arm and her keys.

At the doctor's office

"Yup, your pregnant", he said, with glee.

"How far along?", I asked, about to cry right then and there.

"2 months", he said, without hestitation. He took notice that I wasn't happy about this. "You know obortion is always an option", he suddenly said, catching me off guard.

"Are you crazy, not in a million years", I shouted back at him.

"Honey, who's the father?" Nikki asked, grabbing a hold of my hand,trying to calm me down.

I put my head down and whisper softly. "Nick".

"Nick is? How do you know that?" she asked me again, a little uneasy.

"Well it's been 2 months since we left and before we left I made love to him", I started crying and ran out the room.

"You gotta tell Nick", Nikki said, looking at me with concern.

"NO! He doesn't need this right now. He doesn't need another baby in his life", I said still crying.

"Yeah, but he's the father", cried Nikki out loud.

"I know. I know" I repeated, putting my head down in ashame.

~~5 months later~~

I was sitting ont the couch when I felt this pain shot through me and water everywhere.

"Omg! NIkki!" I screamed for her. She walked in the room and so water everywhere.

"Ashley it's not time. Your only 7 months pregnant", Nikki said, rushing over to my side.

"Yeah I know that, but this baby is ready to come out", I screamed, holding on to my stomach.

"Alright. Let's go", Nikki said, helping me up and out to the car.

~~5 hours later~~

"Push Ashley! Your doing wonderful", coached the Nurse, who was by my side the whole time.

"I see a head!" yelled the doctor. "One more push!"

I pushed with all my might and the baby came out but I didn't hear no cry. All the nurses and doctors rushed over to the baby and was yelling things to one another and running around everywhere.
My mind went wondering. 'What's going on? Is my baby alright?' All these thoughts went through my mind. Finally everyone stopped and the doctor looked at me.

"I'm sorry. But she didn't make it", the doctor said sadly. "But you can hold her if you want".

I held my baby and she was beautiful. Instantly I started bawling. I had a still born.

~~5 months later~~

I was still living in Maryland with Nikki. Things weren't going so well. I felt bad about the whole baby situation and felt that I should just move on. Nikki got into drugs and started stealing money from me and taking things. I thought it was time I should just leave her. So I packed my things and left. I went to go visit Florida, to see my relatives and to see Nick again.

I was at my mother's house when the phone ranged. I didn't know what my mom was saying, but all I knew is that couple minutes later, there was a knock at the door and my mom ran over quickly to answer it.

"Hello Nick, she's in the living room", greeted my mother, smiling.

I looked up and saw Nick. I felt the urge to just run over to him and hug him, but all I did was put my head down in guilt.

"Ashley, I'm not mad at you. Brian told me everything and I should be the one appologising. I am sorry", Nick said, walking toward me and giving me a hug.

We went for a walk on the beach and he was telling me things that went on and I just listen and nodded. I didn't tell him about the baby and I didn't tell him about Nikki. I told him I was just visiting. He was telling me about megan, his little girl and how she's gotten so big. How Angela becomes a bitch more and more and how he missed me and wished I just come back home.

We finally got back to what used to be my old home and we went in and sat on the couch. We started watching tv, when he poured his heart out to me and we made passionate love. The next morning I left.

I was back in Maryland, staying in a hotel when I saw this ad ~~Roomate wanted!~~

I called the number and met what soon to be my roomate. His name was Barry. He wasn't your typical guy. In fact he was special. He was gay. I didn't mind it. In fact, I fell in love with him. As a friend though.

I lived with him for about 3 months now. I having been getting my period and I told Barry about it. He took me to the doctors and guess what. I found out I was 3 months pregnant. I knew instantly who the father was and Barry, being a wonderful friend that he is, help me through all the process.

I was finally 5 months pregnant when I was sitting on the couch uncomfortably when Barry took my feet, rested in on his lap and started massaging them.

"Ashley? What's one thing you wish for?" he suddenly asked, looking at me, massaging my feet.

"My baby to be healthy and to live a beautiful life and for me to be healthy as well", I said, smiling and confused to why he even asked me that.

"I mean for you. Forget about the baby. What's your one wish for you in life?" he continued to ask me.

"To own my own bar. Be a small business owner", I suddenly answered, looking down.

"Why?" I asked him, confused.

"Just because", he said, starting to cry.

That day I found out that Barry has been battleling cancer and might not make it. He was right. 3 weeks later Barry died. Then I got a letter for the hearing of his will.

I went and found out that Barry was loaded. He left his mother his three expensive cars he supposivly had in a garage, left his sister $34,000, his brother his dogs and me a bar with $354,000. I wanted to die when I heard that, then I started crying with happiness. Suddenly when the hearing of the will was over, Barry's brother came up to me. He was sort of some business man.

"Miss Roberts?" he said, grabbing my attention.

"Yes?" I said, turning to face him.

"Look. I will give you double what that bar is worth, if you sell it to me", he said, smiling at her.

"Well Barry left that to me. Thanks for the offer, but no thanks", I smiled and walked away.

I was 8 months pregnant and my business was successful. Except for Barry's brother trying to get me to sell. The bar was doing so good and I was happy. I bought a small house and decorated and had a nursury set up for when my baby arrived. My friend Amanda was the co-owner and she was to take care of the bar when I go on maternity leave. I invested the rest of my money in the bar, for repairs and materials I needed.

Finally, after being in 12 painful hours of delivery, a baby boy was born.
I named him Michael Keith Carter. He was so beautiful.