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Chapter 4:

Dark and depressing. No rays of light; artificial or natural. A cloud of sadness hung over the nearly empty McLean household, which was usually so very loud with the voices of its occupants running around and living life. But now, it seemed so empty and cold. Well, at least it did to the only person who had been living in it alone for the past two days. Any person who passed it on the outside would take a wild guess that the family who resided there was only away on vacation, but for AJ, it wasn't a vacation. No vacation at all. His family was not away on a vacation outting or in town doing things. No, they had left and they had left him behind to wallow in his own confusion, sadness and depression. He had been left without so much as a "We'll be back soon" or "I'll miss you. Love you." More so his wife didn't leave him that. His children on the other hand, his three pride and joys...his heart ached just thinking about them.

He hadn't been seperated from all three of them together for more then a day and now it was going on past the two day mark. Why he didn't try harder to keep them home instead of letting his wife take them with her when she left, he didn't know and he had been beating himself up over his stupidity of not trying harder to keep them with him from the moment they were gone. His children didn't want to leave. They weren't thrilled over the fact that their mother was taking them away from their father when they didn't even understand what going on.

Treyden James, AJ's five year old son, had reacted the worse when the cab pulled up in front of their house to take them to the airport and it was time to say goodbye. He'd screamed continuously with tears falling down his little cheeks as he clung tightly to his father, begging to stay or for AJ to go with them. All AJ had been able to do was hug his son tightly and tell him everything would be ok, that they were only going away for a little while. Sarah, his wife, was growing impatient with the moment and quickly snatched Treyden away from AJ to buckle him into the cab. AJ had wanted to ring her throat for pulling such a cruel move towards a five year old being seperated from his daddy, but it would have only amounted more to the present problem.

Xavier Alexander, 14, and Kyrena Alexandra, 10, were only allowed a minute to each hug their father one last time. "Daddy, I don't wanna go," Kyrena had pleaded, wrapping her arms around her father's neck. AJ held her just as tightly as he had held her younger brother. "I know you don't, baby girl, but you need to go with Mommy, alright? I promise you and your brothers won't be gone long. Mommy and Daddy just need time away from each other to think. But I love you so much and I don't want you to forget that, ok?" It had hurt him so much to not tell his daughter that she didn't have to go. It wasn't worth adding another problem to his and Sarah's relationship, though. Ruffling his eldest son, Xavier's hair, he gave him a tight hug. "Stay out of trouble with your mom, ok?" Xavier only nodded and mumbled, "This sucks" as he climbed into the cab.

AJ had stood up only to be met with an icy glare from his wife. He had opened his mouth to plead one last time for her not to go, but she refused to grant him that chance. "I will be at my mother's house, but don't bother calling. We'll call you if we want to talk." With that, she climbed into the cab and it sped away. AJ had been left standing alone at the end of his driveway, blinking in disbelief and carrying a broken heart.

Two days had passed and AJ was still carrying his broken heart, moping around the lonely house in depression. He hated to be alone, hated to be away from the ones he loved most. He hadn't left the house since they had been gone, fearing that he would miss a call from one of his children or all three, or in fear that his cell would crap up and he wouldn't be able to recieve a call on it. But still no phone call and that's what he wanted most right now since he knew he couldn't have them back at the moment.

Thinking about it for a second as he lazily laid on the black leather couch in his spacious living-room, he realized he hadn't recieved a call from anyone lately, to his knowledge that is. For all he knew, he could have recieved a call while he had been asleep, considering he had turned into a deep sleeper the past two days. But he figured noone wanted to call him. AJ couldn't remember how long it had been since he had last heard from his mother...she left to go visit a sick distant relative a week before? Two weeks maybe? She was busy so AJ couldn't be angry at her for not calling. His friends? Well, they all had lives too, even though a phone call from them every now and then would be nice. But none of that really mattered to AJ when all he wanted was to hear the phone ring, for him to answer and hear, "We're coming home."

It wasn't going to happen though and AJ knew it. As much as it hurt to think about it, he knew it wasn't going to happen. He wouldn't be hearing from Sarah, at least not for a very long time for that matter. Why his children hadn't called him yet, he wasn't sure...but if he found out that Sarah was preventing them from calling him...his blood boiled at the thought. Just the thought of it was cruel. Would Sarah actually keep their children from talking to their father? AJ could only hope not. But then again, was a simple phone call so much to ask for?

*ring*

The sound suddenly seemed so foreign as it echoed throughout the quiet house. It caused AJ to slip off the couch with surprise and he stumbled into the standing position. Phone! Phone! Where was the damn phone?! AJ looked around in a frantic manner, his eyes searching the area furiously.

*ring*

Why was it that when he needed something he could never find it?! He hadn't even used the damn thing in two days!

*ring*

Quickly, he began throwing pillows and couch cushions to the floor in his search for the missing phone. But it was still M.I.A. "Where is the damn thing?!" he screeched, fearing that this was possibly one of his children and he was going to miss their call. A string of profanities escaped his lips as he kicked at the coffee table and pain ran it's course through his foot. He grimaced as another string of profanities escaped. Then...so quickly out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a black object all the way across the room, laying atop the entertainment center. AJ took off running, imagining Xavier, Kyrena, or Treyden's voice at the other end of the line as he answered the call. He got no more then a foot when *smack* he slipped on one of the couch pillows and went crashing to the floor as the phone rang for the fourth and final time.

The answering machine picked up the call as AJ laid there paralized and breathing hard.

"Hey there! You've reached the McLean household of Alex, Sarah, Xavier, Kyrena, and Treyden. We're obviously not here right now. But we're sorry to have missed your call and we would really appreciate it if you would leave us a message, that way we know to get back to you. So leave your message after the beep!...Beeeeeeeeeeeee-...Xavier! Knock it off!...Sorry, Dad! Couldn't resist!...Yeah, yeah. I probably can't get to the phone y'all because I'm ringing my son's neck-HEY! Trey, give me the phone back! Daddy's recording our message!...But I wanna talk!...No, let Daddy-...I WANNA TALK!!!...Fine, say something...*giggle* Daddy says to leave a message after the noise!...The beep, Trey, the beep!...Oh yeah! I mean the beep!"

AJ squeezed his eyes together as hard as he could, lying there on the floor, waiting.

"Aje! It's D!"

'No shit...'his mind grumbled as he heard the voice of his best friend filter through the speaker of the answering machine. Man, he hadn't spoken to Howie for going on nearly two months and he was sure if Howie would have called at any other time, AJ would have picked up the phone in less then a second to talk, but right now, he just felt like disconnecting the answering machine.

"I guess you're out of the house again? You, Sarah, and the kids go on a vacation? Or did the kids drag you into an early grave at the age of 47?"

AJ cringed at the chuckle evident in the Latino's voice.

"Just can't seem to get ahold of you lately; I've called you several times over the past two days. What's up with that, man? No love for us anymore? Nah, I'm just kidding. But seriously, we gotta talk sometime. I miss talking to ya, buddy."

"Same to you, D," AJ whispered in a choked voice.

"Anyway, I'm calling you for a specific reason."

'Maybe a way to get my family back?'AJ's mind pleaded.

"Remember that plantation I was looking at purchasing a couple of months ago? The one I told you about that is out on Shelton Rd.? Well, I finalized the papers on it several days ago. Yep, the old place is mine now; I bought it. The thing is, the place needs a bit of renovation...ok, it needs alot, but that's not a bad thing, ya know? See, I plan on moving there with Ana within the next week to start renovating it. I don't plan on hiring a crew to renovate it for me, because...listen Aje, I was thinking...I want to get everyone together to come to the plantation next week to help start the renovation. Kind of like a reunion. I mean, it's been way too long since the five of us have gotten together and I don't know about you, but I'd like to see us together again as a group. Kinda for old times sake? Anyway, I've already proposed the idea to Brian, Kevin, and Nick...they said they're coming. So it's all up to you. The offers open to ya, Aje...I'd really like for you to come. We're heading there next Friday. Um... Oh, getting to the place isn't all that hard either. When you get to Orlando, head out towards the backroads, take Messing road to be on the right track. Drive about five miles and you'll come to a 'Y' shaped road. You'll wanna take a left on that road, which would be...crap, let me think...oh yeah! It would be Long road. Ironic name, huh? Drive another mile and you'll come up upon Shelton Rd. on your right. The plantation is down that road on your left, you can't miss it. Well, I guess I'll try calling you again later, or you can give me a call when you get in or get home. I really hope you consider coming, Aje...everyone would like to see you again..."

There was a moment of silence and then a click. Howie had hung up.

A.J. sighed, running his stinging eyes. 'A reunion... yeah right. So I can hear about how all the guys still have their wife and children around? I don't think so,'he thought, getting up from the floor. Slowly striding across the living-room, he reached for the phone. "Piece of flying pig shit," he mumbled, picking up the device. Thoughts about calling Howie back at that moment came through his mind, but A.J. pushed them away. 'I ain't gonna go.'He threw the phone onto the charger and headed outside to the back patio. The backyard was the ocean, which was crashing onto the large and jagged rocks that edged the shore. The sky was dark, matching the turbulent waters...and A.J.'s feelings.

"Why my children? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE THEM, SARAH?!" A.J. screamed up to the sky.

Thunder crackled in the sky in reply to his screaming. Moments afterwards, the gray clouds broke and threw a hard down pour of precipitation on the earth below. "Go figure..." he mumbled a snicker, glaring out at the ocean as the wind picked up and tossed droplets of rain into his face. But it never phazed his expression; he didn't blink once as each dropplet stung his eyes. Instead, he stood there growing cold and his clothes becoming soaked. 'No, I'm definitely not going to that damn plantation'he repeated in his mind once more.

*****

Stephanie was awoken by thunder that shook the large house. Groaning, she opened her green eyes and looked over at the clock on her nightstand. The bright blue digits read 7:55 am. 'Too early!' she thought, pulling the comforter over her head. For the last two days since Bailey's hospital visit, Brian and Stephanie had been sleeping most of the day and night, their bodies trying to regain its' normal pattern. 'I swear, if anything tries to wake me up, it's going to die a painful death,' she thought again, finally falling back into a deep sleep. This deep sleep, however, didn't last long.

The door to the bedroom was thrown open rather rudely and a rather obnoxious voice pierced the air, making Stephanie's head pound. "You don't need to bother. I don't need to be. I'll keep slipping farther. Once I'm gone, I won't let go until..." It was Jessica's voice that was producing the obnoxious sound, singing the lyrics rather messed up to one of Stephanie's favorite songs by an old group called "Stone Sour". The song was called "Bother", and by the sound of it, Jessica was ruining the song.

"Jessica Marie Littrell, if you sing one more syllable of that song, I WILL hurt you. One, you woke me up. Two, you are destroying a classic! Now shut up!" Stephanie snapped, rolling over in her bed.

"Ooooh, she's crabby. I must have disturbed her beauty sleep. Why don't you make me, Little Miss Perfect? I can sing if I want to," Jessica snapped back, continuing to sing the song, even more so off-key to further irritate her sister. She walked over to headed into their walk in closet and began to sort through the loads of clothes hanging up. Walking back out, she screamed out some lyrics, which resulted in being hit in the back of the head with one of Stephanie's pillows. Jessica froze in her spot and bent down to pick the pillow back up. "What the HELL is your problem?"

"You're my problem, duh! Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep!" Stephanie yelled, placing her other pillow over her head.

"Like I said, make me!"

"Don't even say that, you will regret it."

"Whatever. Be a piss head because I couldn't care less."

Stephanie removed the pillow from her head and sat up. "Yeah, just like you don't care about anything or anybody but yourself."

Jessica turned towards her sister, her eyes dark and angry. "Don't you EVER Call me selfish!"

"Why not? It's the God damn truth!"

"Fuck you!" Jessica stalked over to Stephanie and hit her with the pillow hard.

"I could say the same to you!" Stephanie screeched as she retaliated against Jessica with her other pillow and she jumped up from her bed. Her face stung from the impact of the pillow and she glared at her sister with hurt.

"Then why don't you! Oh wait, I forgot..." Jessica snickered, preparing for anything to happen. Full out brawl or what not. She just wanted to pound her sister at that moment. "You're too damn perfect!"

"I AM NOT!" Stephanie yelled, pushing Jessica hard. She flew backwards into the wall.

"See? You can't even fight right! You gotta do shit like this!" Jessica raised a hand and slapped Stephanie across the face.

"You little bitch!" Stephanie yelled, her cheek turning beet red as she tackled Jessica onto her bed. Fists were flying, and so was some blood.

Profanties were spat at every second and the fight would have surely continued much longer, had a pair of feet not come bursting through the open doorway. "What the damn Hell is going on in here?!" Brian's voice shouted, his voice confused and clogged with sleep. "Jessica Marie-" Jessica paused for the slightest moment when she heard her name, but Stephanie took this to her advantage and tackled her sister to the floor, crying out at her. "STEPHANIE HOLLY LITTRELL!!!"

Stephanie didn't answer, she just kept on trying to hurt Jessica. To make her feel the pain she did. "STEPHANIE! STOP THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW!" Brian reached down and pulled his daughters apart.

"She deserved it!" Stephanie screamed, trying to get at Jessica again.

"I don't give a fuck who deserved it!" Brian screamed back at his daughter and that's all it took to get the girls to stop. They both looked at their father in complete shock; he rarely spoke with such profanity as he had just done. "I want to know what the Hell is going on!"

"She...Daddy, I..." Stephanie stuttered, hating the grip her father had on her arm. She stared back at her sister in sorrow; what had they just done to each other. Jessica's features had softened despite the deep red tone to her face.

"I want a damn explanation now before either of you push my buttons any further," Brian growled.

"Daddy, I was trying to sleep... and Jess came in, singing loud and off key, knowing I was sleeping. I told her to stop--"

"No, you told me to shut the fuck up!" Jessica interrupted.

"Because you were being obnoxious and annoying!"

"Freedom of speech, Stephanie! Learn the damn constitution!"

"It was not freedom of speech. You were being vicious and you know it!"

"And you weren't being vicious just now!?"

"STOP IT!!!" Brian screamed, once again interrupting the arguing twins. All traces of exhaustion had suddenly left his face and was replaced with a shade of crimson. His narrowed dangerously and had grew extremely dark.

Both Stephanie and Jessica looked at their father, a little scared of how angry he was. Sure, their arguments irritated him, but this was far beyond that.

"If you guys argue one more time while explaining this, you WILL be punished," Brian hissed.

"I give up," Jessica and Stephanie growled towards each other in unison. This only caused another spark to ignite.

"First you gotta call me fucking selfish, then you have to be unoriginal and copy every damn thing I say?!"

"Very mature thing to say, Jessica!"

"Stop! You," Brian pointed to Jessica. "Get your cuts cleaned up." He looked at Stephanie. "You're gonna talk."

"Why? So she can whine to you about how it's all my fault? How it's always all my fault and how you'll just cave into her and shit on me!?" Jessica spat towards her father. "Just like always!"

"Jessica Marie, that's enough! Go clean your cuts. NOW."

"NO!"

"JESSICA! NOW, GOD DAMN IT!"

"I SAID NO!"

Brian grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her out of the room, locking the door behind her. "GO CLEAN YOURSELF UP!"

"Daddy..." Stephanie whispered.

"Stephanie," Brian turned around, rubbing his eyes. "I didn't expect this from you."

"But, Daddy, I-"

"No. What I saw when I came into the room is something I never wanna see again. You and your twin sister were PUNCHING each other. Look at your face in the mirror," Brian took Stephanie by the shoulders and turned her to face the dresser.

Stephanie had no choice but to stare at her reflection; she became dazed when she saw the healing cut on her lip from the other night had been reopened and finally noticed the stinging pain radiating from deep down. Her stomach churned as she caught the dissapproving stare her father was giving her; her heart fell at that moment. "Daddy..."

"Steph, why?" Brian asked, his voice soft. Her father's blue eyes, so identical to her sister's, were glazed over with sadness.

"I..." She hung her head down. "I don't know. I just got sick and tired of they way she treated you, and how she was to me... I didn't plan on that fight, Daddy."

"Do you even realize how scared I was when I walked in to find you guys like that?"

"I was scared too. But she made me so mad, Daddy. I just wanted her to listen-"

"You think fighting is going to get her to listen?"

"Words sure as Hell didn't work!"

"Watch your mouth," Brian sighed at his daughter.

"I'm sorry. I can't take this anymore. I want my sister back," Tears formed in her emerald eyes. "I want Jessie."

"Yeah, well, I want my other daughter back," Brian whispered, looking at the ground for a second. "Get yourself cleaned up, alright?"

Stephanie nodded. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"I know." Brian left his daughter frozen near the full length mirror as he walked out of the room.

Stephanie sighed, pulling at her hair in frustration. "I really fucked things up." She whispered to herself, heading to the bathroom to clean her lip.

*****

Brian walked down the stairs to the living room, the scene he had just seen ran through his mind. Two of his offspring were fighting... his little girls were throwing fists at each other. It was something Brian never wanted to see again. He collapsed onto the couch, mindlessly turning on the tv without really watching it.

There wasn't much on tv at that hour, considering it was only 8:13 in the morning. He couldn't really focus on much at the moment anyway. His brain was becoming fried, still in shock from the scene upstairs. Shaking his head, Brian sighed in frustration. He wanted to know where he had gone wrong as a parent. He thought he had given his daughters everything...all the love they needed to grow up to be emotionally healthy. Stephanie seemed to believe that...so where had he gone wrong with Jessica?

One name came to his mind. Leighanne. The girls and Matt's mother. Since the divorce two years ago, it seemed like it was then that Jessica started to change. Brian knew they should have seen her more often, but Leighanne had really hurt him during the divorce process. And now, even if Stephanie or Jessica tried to call their mother, she wasn't home many of the times. And even if she was, there was no time to talk. Leighanne always had 'errands' to run for her job.

The more he thought about it, the more Brian began to wonder if Jessica blamed him for his and Leighanne's divorce. He couldn't think of why she would. True, he had been the one to say he wanted the divorce, but it was Leighanne that caused it all. If only the girls knew the full extent of what Leighanne had done to him...maybe Jessica would treat him differently?

'Maybe a visit with her mother to see how she really is would set Jessica right again...' Brian thought, still flipping through the channels in a pre-fabricated manner. His eyes were glazed over as he seemed to be taking a vacation from the stress of his world. This of course led to Brian not hearing the front door open and close rather quietly, nor did he hear footsteps walk into the house. "Hey, Pops. Don't answer the door anymore?"

Brian visibly jumped a mile as the voice pierced the air and the TV remote flew from his hand, falling quickly to the floor. His eyes turned to the source of the voice. He was more then surprised to see his son standing in front of him with an amused expression plastered on his face, obviously satisfied in having scared the living daylights out of his aging father. "What are you doing here, Matt?" Brian asked, not realizing the rudeness dripping from the corners of his mouth.

Matthew stared at his father with a puzzling look. "What do you mean what am I doing here?" he asked, raising both light colored eyebrows. "The last time I checked, I was still allowed to consider this my other home."

Brian sighed, realizing his less then welcoming greeting. He rubbed at his temples for a moment before offering his eldest child an apologizing smile. "Sorry, son. It's just that...well, never mind. No need in ruining someone else's morning."

This caught Matthew's attention by surprise. That was clear proof that his father wanted him to persue the subject, instead of letting it go like Brian had just stated. "Who said it will ruin my morning?" he replied, casually placing his hands in his pocket. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he stared his father down, waiting for the older man to speak about what was troubling him.

"Would you hate me if I would have sent you to live with your mother, had the divorce taken place when you were younger?" Brian asked, unsure of how to use his words or if his son would actually understand him.

Matthew bit down on his bottom lip, attempting to read into his father's expression. All he could make out was a deep sense of frustration and sadness. He had to keep himself from frowning at this and parted his lips to answer. "Yes, in some ways," he explained, furling his eyebrows. "because I know how Ma treated you. I mean, I love her because she's my ma, but, I wouldn't want to live with her after how she treated you and how I know she would treat me. That's an odd question to ask, Pops. Why?"

"Why?" Brian clarified in a small voice, not once breaking gazes with his son. "Because I'm think of flying Jessica to your mother's place...with a one-way ticket."

To say the least, Matthew was shocked to hear his father say such words. "What are you gettin' at, Pops? What'd she do NOW?"

"This time it wasn't just her," Brian answered in a reluctant tone. He felt pathetic in the sense that he was having to...complain to his son about his problems at home.

"Meaning?"

"Throw Stephanie into the picture this time."

"Somehow I don't like the sound of that." Matthew fell onto the couch next to his father and the two of them sat there in silence. Matthew quickly stole a side glance at his father and was surprised to see his father doing the same towards him. It was obvious each of them were expecting the other to take the initiative to speak. Matthew decided to break the sudden ice formation. "So, you gonna fill me in on what the chaotic twins have done to give you a hard time now?"

"They were fighting," Brian shrugged and fidgeted with his fingers.

"Well, that's nothing new. They fight all the time. I mean, that's what siblings do."

"No, Matt...they were REALLY fighting."

"I'm still not gettin' ya...you mean really bad argument?"

"No, I mean fists flying, a little bit of blood-"

"You're not serious, Pops!"

"After what I just saw a little bit ago, I wish I wasn't..."

Matthew blinked at his father in a bit of shock. His sisters involved in a fist fight towards one another? He'd seen them in fights before, sure, but those had only been typical arguments over stupid things like misplaced clothes and who saw what boy first. He never thought he would hear of them in an actual fist fight. "How bad of a fight was it?" he questioned, excluding the fact that his father mentioned 'blood' and 'fists' in the same sentence only moments before.

"Well, let's see...Stephanie's lip was cracked back open and I wouldn't be surprised if Jessica develops a black eye later on today."

"Oh, man..." Matthew groaned, just picturing the state of being his sisters were in. "That's horrible, Pops."

"I know...and I don't know what to do anymore," Brian replied with a reluctant sigh. He stood up and unconciously motioned for Matthew to follow him into the kitchen. Willing his feet to move across the equisitely-tiled floor, Brian headed over towards the coffee maker set next to the stove. Much to his dismay, he had forgotten to set the timer the night before and there was no freshly made coffee waiting for him to devour. He frowned. "Damn..." he grumbled and pressed the power button to get the device running.

"Pops?" Matthew called out, taking a seat on the stool at the kitchen bar. Crossing both arms atop the counter, he continued to watch his father's back facing him. "Pops?" Matthew pursed his lips when he still didn't recieve an answer. His brows furled once again.

Brian's shoulders sagged in a depressing manner as he leaned tiredly against the ashen-black marble counter. He knew Matthew was waiting expectantly for him to answer, but his mind had begun to wander elsewhere. He couldn't help but no longer feel as angry towards his daughters, but more so concerned. He prayed to God that he would never have to see any of his offsprings fighting as such ever again and he wondered what both of them were doing upstairs. Stephanie had been left hanging without a word when Brian had left the room, and Jessica...Brian had demanded that she go clean herself up. He had heard her storm into the bathroom and slam the door after he had locked her out of her and Stephanie's bedroom. He knew he wouldn't be speaking to her for quite some time, considering how stubborn Jessica could choose to be.

"Pops? Do you want me to go speak to them?"

Brian turned around when he realized Matthew had spoken to him once again. He shook his head, unsure. "No, I don't think that would be a good idea..." he whispered, crossing his arms over his chest and resting the small of his back against the edge of the counter.

"Well, what are you going to do then?"

"I don't know, Matt. I honestly don't know. Do you think I'm a terrible father?"

Matthew sat in a stunned manner. "D-do I think you're what?"

"A terrible father. Do you think I am?" Brian repeated.

"No, of course not. Did Jess say you were?" Matthew scowled.

"Not in those exact words."

"Then-"

"She just doesn't make me feel like I'm doing a good job."

"That's insane, Pops-"

"Maybe I'm just complaining or whining, but I'm starting to believe her. Ya know, maybe I'm not being the best father I could be."

"Ok, stop right there, Pops," Matthew interrupted, removing his arms from the counter top. "Don't go saying that, because that's asinine. You're a good father and you know it."

"Then why can't I get Jessica to see that?"

"You are asking the wrong person."

"Well, like I said, I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe she doesn't belong here any longer. Maybe she would be better off living with her mother."

"Do you honestly believe that, Pops?"

"I don't know, son. All I want for Jess to see is that I really do love her, no differently then I love you or Steph. And that I truly want her to be happy. If that means sending her to go live with her mother, then that's what I'll have to do."

*****

Ana sighed, flopping down on her bed as music floated through her stereo. It was the soundtrack to a classic movie 'Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone', which was based on famous books that her father had once told her about. The tales of wizardry had immediately snagged her interest and her father had gone out and bought her the whole series, including each movie that had been made for each book.

After a long talk with her father days ago about the club incident, Howie had just grounded her from going out at night and surfing the Internet for two weeks. Ana was surprised that her father had been so lenient, considering the amount of anger he had expressed that night, she took the punishment lightly. It wasn't that bad and she figured that Jessica's had to be a hundred times worse than her's.

Ana just laid on her bed, letting the music carry her off to another place. This place was Ana's favorite place to go to in her mind; it was a time when her mother was still alive. Not wasting away from a disease that the doctors could find no way to cure. Ana trembled at the thought and felt the tears brimming her eyes as she closed them and was able to picture her mother's beautiful smile perfectly. Her mother's sparkling chocolate eyes, long brown curls, an image so much like Ana's... The phone rang a shrill noise that jerked the teen back to reality. Groaning, Ana reached over to her stereo, switched it off and threw her hand for the phone. "Hello? Prison of the Damned, how may I help you?"

"Ana? It's Steph," the familiar voice rang with it's slight southern twang.

"Hey! I didn't think Uncle Brian would let you near anything that connected you to the outside world!" Ana replied back with a giggle, finding herself happy to hear from her cousin. The two hadn't spoken since saying their farewells that past Saturday...after being escorted home by an officer.

"I don't think he would be that cruel towards me," Stephanie said, grinning slightly despite the stinging pain in her bottom lip. She dabbed at it gently with a soft baby pink cleenex. "He never did really say I couldn't use the phone. He doesn't know I'm using it right now anyway. What about you? Prison of the Damned, huh? Did Uncle Howie go pretty harsh on you?"

"Not really...not as badly as I thought he would have," Ana explained, "I mean, the whole way home he yelled at me in spanish, which got to be kind of scary because he ain't ever done that before and that only meant he was really mad...majorly! He didn't talk to me the rest of the night and for part of the next morning until I forced him to talk. He told me that he was more dissappointed then anything in my lack of judgement and that he worries about me. He even went so far as to say that maybe he overreacted a little on the way home. But get this...you are never going to guess what he said next."

"What?"

"Papi even said he went a little overboard towards Jess and that he feels bad about it. Sure he was angry at her as he was towards all of us, but he hadn't meant to react the way he had. He worries about her too, ya know?"

Stephanie cringed at the mention of her twin's name and she dabbed at her lip again. "Yeah, we all do..." she managed to reply.

"Anyway, he said he was going to give it a couple of days and call to speak to her, to apologize for being so hard towards her. So I'm guessing he might call your place sometime later today maybe. Just shows my Papi is a big softy. He never stays mad long. I mean, heck, my punishment is being grounded from going anywhere at night and not being able to surf the net for two weeks. Can't beat that deal, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Stephanie mumbled.

Ana paused for a brief moment. "Heh, what's your problem? Get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?"

"Not funny, Anita... today has been a bad one," Stephanie less then lightly snapped.

"Already? It's only 8:30 in the morning," Ana replied, confusion hinting in her voice. She knew her cousin wasn't a morning person, in fact, niether of the twins were, but this didn't sound like a case of not being a morning person.

Stephanie sighed. "Jess and I had a fight."

"Another fight? But I thought you guys-"

"No. I mean we FOUGHT. With our fists."

Ana's mouth dropped open. "You're kidding me!"

"Nope..." Stephanie sighed again.

"Why?!" Ana exclaimed, her eyes widening as she bolted upright.

"I really don't know anymore."

"Steph, that's insane. There has to be a reason!"

Stephanie groaned, had she REALLY called to talk to Ana about what had just happened not too long ago? Maybe she had subconciously been looking for a way to not think about it for a short period of time. No matter what, though, she knew she would be getting into a long drawn out explanation because of Ana's persistent questioning. "Jess walked into the room this morning after her shower and was singing horribly and loudly," Stephanie explained in a lame manner.

"And y'all got into a fist fight over that?" Ana replied in disbelief.

Stephanie could just imagine her cousin rolling her eyes at her. "No," she continued. "I was trying to sleep, so I told her to shut up."

"Yeah, uh-huh...and how exactly did you tell her to shut up?"

"Well, the first time I think I acted rather polite and just told her to shut up."

"There's a second time?"

"Yeah. I...uh...don't think she liked the fact that I threw a pillow at the back of her head when she wouldn't stop singing. Then I sort of told her to...shut the fuck up..." Stephanie cringed as her words slipped from her lips. She usually didn't speak like that.

Silence draped over Ana's end of the line.

"You told her that?" Ana finally spoke a moment later, shock dripping from the corners of her lips.

"It sort of slipped. I wanted to go back to sleep, I was tired, she was singing horribly! Not to mention she was totally ruining the song she was singing. And you couldn't even call it singing; it was more like screeching."

"So then what happened?"

"We started arguing over the fact that she thinks I'm too perfect...blah, blah, blah."

"And you started fist fighting over THAT?!"

"She slapped me across the face!" Stephanie exclaimed. "What was I supposed to do?!"

"How about being the better person and walking away from the situation. Or you could have gone and told Uncle Brian."

"Well, Miss Know-It-All who doesn't have any siblings," Stephanie tried to tease lightly, feeling her heart sting with remorse for what had happened. "Anyway, Dad came in and pulled us apart, but not before the formation of some bruises and blood."

"Oh, man," Ana groaned. "I bet he was mad major, huh?"

"Oh yeah..." Stephanie answered. She tossed the blood splotched Kleenex into the small trash can by her bed and reached for a new one. "Let's just say that some of his choice of vocabulary was less then his daily normal."

"Ouch."

"Yeah."

"Man, Steph...I really don't know what to say. Sounds like to me that you and Jess started fighting over something really stupid. What's going on between the two of you anyway?"

"I don't know what's happening! I feel like I'm losing a part of me, my sister, my best friend. Jess never used to be like this towards me or Dad and I don't know what to do. It hurts that she's treating me like this, but it hurts even more to see the way she treats Dad. He doesn't deserve it."

"I know what you mean..."

"I'm truly afraid I'm going to lose my sister, Ana. I can't handle that."

*****

Jessica’s brain pounded with intensity as she held her head in her hands, sitting on the edge of the Jacuzzi bathtub in the bathroom that connected to her and Stephanie’s bedroom. There were two doorways in the bathroom decorated with bright blue walls; one door, of course, led to and from the hallway and was located near the marble counter across the room, the other door was located directly to Jessica’s left and created a direct route to and from the bedroom to the bathroom. This door, however, usually remained locked, as it was right now.

Gingerly touching her upper right cheek bone, Jessica cringed from the pain and knew she would most likely have somewhat of a black eye by the end of the day. Her gaze was drawn to the bathroom door and she continued to sit there, wondering. Foolishness was coursing through her along with sadness and frustration and any other proper emotion to fit her situation at the moment that she could think of. She was still shocked, by all means, that her and Stephanie had gotten into such a horrible fight. It wasn’t so much her pounding head and stinging cheek that was making the shock stay with her, but more so the mere fact they had gone through such a thing. They’d had their share of fights in the past, but none of them had ever escalated into an actual…fist fight. And Jessica had never become near as angry towards her sister as she had this morning. Nor the same for Stephanie towards Jessica.

Jessica didn’t understand what was going on with her and between her and her sister. Why she had such a cold attitude lately, Jessica couldn’t even begin to explain. And the way she had been treating her father, it was never intentional really. She did love her father and looked up to him so much, but it was lately that she just couldn’t find it in herself to get along with him. The fact that he was always getting after her about everything, or so it seemed, started to total up until she began to feel animosity towards him. And she saw how it was affecting him, too…

But still…

"I was trying to sleep, so I told her to shut up… Well, the first time I think I acted rather polite and just told her to shut up… Yeah. I...uh...don't think she liked the fact that I threw a pillow at the back of her head when she wouldn't stop singing. Then I sort of told her to...shut the fuck up…” Jessica was suddenly tuned into the fact that Stephanie was still in their bedroom and now talking on what had to be the phone. She had been too deep in thought a moment before to have realized her sister was having a conversation, but now that she did realize it, Jessica couldn’t help but listen in on bits and pieces of the conversation Stephanie was having with most likely their cousin Ana.

"It sort of slipped. I wanted to go back to sleep, I was tired, she was singing horribly! Not to mention she was totally ruining the song she was singing. And you couldn't even call it singing; it was more like screeching… We started arguing over the fact that she thinks I'm too perfect…” ‘Can you blame me for being a little bit jealous?’Jessica thought as she unconsciously rubbed at her eyes.

"She slapped me across the face! What was I supposed to do?!” Jessica cringed; she hadn’t meant to do THAT. But it had happened on the spur of the moment and Stephanie had succeeded in pissing the Hell out of her at a very early hour in the morning. At that moment, though, Jessica wasn’t going to hesitate in saying slapping her was uncalled for.

"I don't know what's happening! I feel like I'm losing a part of me, my sister, my best friend. Jess never used to be like this towards me or Dad and I don't know what to do. It hurts that she's treating me like this, but it hurts even more to see the way she treats Dad. He doesn't deserve it… I'm truly afraid I'm going to lose my sister, Ana. I can't handle that." Her breath froze as she listened to Stephanie speak such words. After all that had just happened, Jessica never would have imagined that her sister would still care so much to the point that she was worried about losing her. Those words instantly stung Jessica’s heart and before she knew what was happening, tears were stinging the backs of her bright sapphire eyes and threatening to fall.

“I just hope us going to the plantation to help you and Uncle Howie out will change my sister and bring back the real Jessica, ya know? I don’t want to lose my twin, Ana.”

“Jessica!” The voice was followed by a loud pounding on the door across the bathroom. Jessica tore her tear glistened eyes away just long enough to look at the other door before it was slammed wide open and in the doorway stood none other then her older brother Matthew. For a moment Jessica wanted to laugh at the fact of how her brother always managed to show up during bad times, but the feeling diminished as more tears slid down her red cheeks, seeing the look of disappointment etched in Matthew’s emerald eyes. His look immediately softened, though, as he stepped into the bathroom and was replaced by an expression of concern “Jess…you’re crying.”

*****

Howie had not been able to sleep well the night before, the late hours spent tossing and turning in a fitful manner until he had finally gotten up around 7:23am, losing all hope of a good rest. Following his daily routine, he started out with taking his morning shower, then headed downstairs for a cup of coffee afterwards. All of which took place in a time span of less then twenty-five minutes. Afterwards, he’d headed out to the garage to bring in several of the cardboard boxes he was using for packing all of his and Ana’s belongings for the move to plantation in four days. Over half of their stuff was already packed and Howie couldn’t think of anything better to do then to continue the job that morning while deprived of sleep. So he found himself sitting in the middle of the floor in his rather large walk-in closet, rummaging through a few old boxes, surrounded completely by things from papers to priceless pictures scattered all over the floor. He was un-phased, though, by the mess he had made.

A smile crept across his aging face as he reached for a photo to his side that was half hidden under a sheet of light blue stationary that had been taken years and years before Ana had been born, years before he had met his late wife. Five young men all striked whatever pose they were told to and smiled for the camera like there was no tomorrow. If Howie could remember correctly, it had been one of the very first group photos they had taken together. Not too long after Brian had flown down from Kentucky by request of his cousin Kevin and auditioned for the group, shortly after being told he would be the fifth and final member of the Backstreet Boys. Howie had to laugh, though; they were all so very young in this picture. Nick was…oh man, he had to be thirteen, Howie thought. The kid’s blonde hair was shaggy and he looked like he needed a hair cut, but it was a style that always seemed to work him back then. It got the girls screaming, that was for sure. Standing next to Nick in the picture was a fifteen year old version of AJ and Howie had to bust up laughing at the pair of sunglasses his rebel friend had been wearing. For one thing, they looked too big to be wearing in the first place, but what humored Howie the most was the fact that AJ had rested the nose bridge on the tip of his nose and was trying to sport a…a…what AJ would have called a "totally cool!" look back then and for many years to come after that photo. Brian stood in the middle with a shy expression mixed in with his young features, a smile playing at the corners of his lips ad he crossed his arms over his chest. The younger Kentuckian had actually been really shy when he’d first shown up to Florida to audition and even for a short while after he had been sworn into the group. His thick accent was always getting a laugh out of the others, but Brian had always taken their teasing lightly when it came to that. He had been their biggest comic relief back in the early days. Howie cracked a lopsided grin as he caught sight of himself standing next to the younger Kentuckian. My God, had he changed over the years. In this captured moment, his hair was cut extremely short and curled at the top. Not a style he had stuck with for too long. He remembered how over the years he had gone from short to semi-long and tying his hair in a low ponytail. Then he’d gone right back to short, but not nearly as short as in the beginning. Even now his hair was at a longer length, but not long enough to produce even the smallest ponytail. Howie was satisfied with it, though. All except for the appearing gray that was already popping up admist the dark brown. Last, but not least, was the one Howie had looked up to the most during all the rough years they had endured as a group. Kevin. The tall and older Kentuckian stood towering behind his shorter cousin, arms draped over AJ and Howie’s shoulders. Emerald eyes sparkled at the lens and brought a unique life to the picture. Kevin had been their rock, their shoulder to lean and cry on when things got tough, the one who held everyone together when he, himself, wasn’t sure how to hold himself together. Howie couldn’t even begin to imagine what the group would have been like, had Kevin not been apart of it.

‘The good ol’ days’ Howie thought as he placed the picture down in a small pile he had started. Once he and Ana got settled down in the plantation and everything was renovated, he would have to go through all of the pictures again and put them into their rightful places. He never realized he kept so many pictures in all of these boxes in the closet. The next few pictures that Howie picked up were along the same content as the first one, but his eyes suddenly came across a 5x7 picture that caused his heart to seemingly cease from beating. Moving a shaking hand slowly forward, he allowed his fingers to curl around the picture and bring it closer to his eyes.

For a moment, he sat there in silence and took in everything about the picture. It was something that had been taken right after they had been wed together; on their honeymoon if Howie remembered correctly. They had gone to the Caribbean for a two week honeymoon vacation, compliments of Howie’s parents. It had been one of the best two weeks in his entire life; he remembered detail after detail as if it had happened just yesterday. They had spent a lot of their time just enjoying each other’s company while relaxing in the luxurious suite that was located right on the beach with easy access to the water and was for the most part private. Their evenings were spent eating dinner by candlelight and their nights were filled with moonlight strolls on the beach, barefooted.

The more Howie took a trip down memory lane to that time, the more he remembered when this picture was taken; he had been the one to take it. It had been during one of their walks on the beach, only this time, they had finished with dinner early and found themselves on the beach at sunset. The sun was just beginning to sink into the ocean out on the horizon, so the sky was lit by an array of magnificent oranges and reds. He’d only happened to bring their camera along that evening and for hours they spent their time walking along the soft white sand, holding their shoes and one hand and talking of future plans. Her voice still rung in Howie’s ears as he stared at the picture; her laugh, the softness of her voice and how it had just floated from her lips. He’d felt like the luckiest man in the world.

Tears slowly began to brim Howie’s chocolate eyes as he used his other hand to trace over her figure; long chocolate curls that cascaded down her back, deep brown eyes that Howie had fallen in love with the first time he had looked into them, her perfectly shaped rose colored lips, her slender figure… She had been wearing a long flowing white sleeveless summer dress. The fabric had fitted her just the right way, allowing the camera to capture the essence of her beauty without a flaw.

The tears began to slowly slip from Howie’s eyes at that moment. He missed her more then anything in the world and still had trouble looking at a picture of her without being able to keep the tears from falling. What he wouldn’t do just to be able to hold her in his arms one more time and kiss her softly on the lips, to tell her he loved her and hear her say it right back. Only in memories could he experience such a thing now. She was gone and wasn’t coming back. There was nothing he or anyone could do to bring her back to him and the family that missed her so much. Howie knew he would be haunted for the rest of his life with images of her final days; the pain and suffering she went through, trying to hold on and beat what was draining the life from her but in the end, failing. He, himself, felt like the biggest failure of all. He should have been able to protect her and it should have been him that had gone through all the pain and suffering. In a way, though, Howie had. He never left her side once. From the day she had fallen ill to the moment she took her last breath, Howie sat by her side, holding her hand and promising her that everything would be ok. What a foolish promise that had been. Nothing was to be ok and it had been out of Howie’s power. Not even the doctors who saw her could do anything for her. All Howie had been able to do was sit there and watch his love slowly slip between his fingers until she was gone forever.

Howie continued to stare at the picture, his cheeks stained with salty tears that burnt his skin. No one would have ever been able to guess that years down the road from when the picture was taken, the woman portrayed would fall to a deadly illness that would take her in a short amount of time. Heck, the thought had never crossed his mind. He had always imagined himself dying before his wife, not the other way around. He wasn’t supposed to have to go through the misery of placing her in her final resting place. No, he was never supposed to go through such a thing. And Ana…he had never planned for his daughter to be motherless at the age of sixteen. How could he have failed his family so badly?

"Papi?"

Howie struggled to keep a strangled sob from actually escaping his lips. His closed his eyes as tightly as he possibly could and focused on breathing a steady stream of air. He could feel a few stray tears slip further down his cheeks, though, as he felt his daughter gently rest her hand on his shoulder. Howie jumped from the touch and felt the foolishness wash over him.

"Papi? Are you alright?" Ana asked her father with a deeply felt concern. She could tell by quietness that he was troubled by something. When she still received no response from him, Ana removed her hand from her father’s shoulder and moved around so she was kneeling on her knees in front of the older man. Her deep chocolate eye glazed over with unshed tears when she saw that her father’s cheeks were already streaked. "Oh papi…" she whispered, throwing her arms tightly around his neck after looking down and seeing the picture he was holding.

"I’m sorry, Anita…" Howie’s quiet voice choked. He let the picture fall from his hand and flutter to the ground before he wrapped his arms around his daughter. "I was just going…through some pictures…and I saw…I’m sorry…"

"I miss Mamá, too," Ana replied, burying her face in the crook of her father’s neck.

"I don’t mean to get so upset," Howie told his daughter with embarrassment as they mutually broke the embrace. He rubbed at his dark eyes to rid them of salty tears and foolishly stared at the ground. Howie heard Ana stifle a sob and he looked up with a pang of guilt in his heart. He hadn’t meant to get her so upset. "Don’t cry, Anita."

"I know, but it’s ok to cry, Papi," Ana answered her father as he reached forward with both hands and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "It’s ok to cry because you miss her."

Howie forced a smile; he didn’t know what he would have done had his daughter been taken away from him also. She was his whole world now. "I know," he whispered.

Ana smiled also as she reached down to pick up the picture that her father had been holding only moments before. "When was this picture taken?" she asked with interest, studying the picture carefully to drink in as many details as she possibly could. Her mother had been beautiful; her father was always telling Ana how she inherited her mother’s beauty. Her eyes and her hair.

"On our honeymoon in the Caribbean," Howie answered.

"Was this when you were still a Backstreet Boy?" Ana asked, running her finger over her mother's hair.

"Yeah, it was right after we got done touring," Howie smiled slightly, remembering how happy his late wife, who had been his girlfriend at the time, looked when he stepped off the plane. "The night I came home, I proposed to her. We got married soon after that. Abuelo and abuela's present to us was a trip to the Caribbean."

"I bet it was awesome, huh?"

"One of the best times of my life, Anita."

"I'd like to go there."

"Well... maybe one day you and I can go there?"

"Papi, that would be great!" Ana smiled and placed a small kiss on her father's cheek.

Howie smiled back as the depressing thoughts of his late wife filtered out of his mind. Ana always knew how to make him happier, even though she didn't conciously know she was doing it.