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Chapter 33:

Nastasia walked back the hallway to AJ's room. She felt like she had been put through a rollercoaster, she had spent the night at AJ's house. Never once leaving his side, until morning when she felt like she needed fresh air. She didn't even have time to pick up a phone and call Howie. Or Chase. She shook her head slowly as she walked into the bedroom.

Empty.

"ALEXANDER?!" Nastasia yelled loudly, fear gripping her heart as she looked at the empty bed. She felt lightheaded as she repeatedly called his name.

Then she heard sobbing in the bathroom.

"J...J Baby..." Nastasia called softly as she walked into the bathroom to find AJ crouching in the corner, sobbing like a child. She watched him grip the bottle of medicine tightly, she gasped as she walked over and took the pills from his hand.

"S-S-Stazzie?" He sniffed back as he stared up at her like a child who was very afraid and lonely. She crouched down beside him and placed the pills on the counter. She stared back into his overpowering eyes and gave him a sad smile.

"Have a nice sleep?" She asked, not sure whether to scream at him or cry.

"H-How..." AJ asked as his voice dropped, he was at a loss for words. Nastasia looked away for a moment, AJ already saw the pain she was in. He winced.

"I was at home with Chase and Howie. Then I got this stupid feeling. So, I came here and found your damn note. I panicked and ran to find you. Thank God you actually woke up and threw up all that junk." Nastasia sighed as she looked away from him, terrified to show the tears that were streaming down her pale cheeks. "Why?"

"Amanda..."

"You'd kill yourself for Amanda? The one who was jealous of our friendship? The one who whined at the simplist changes? The one who ran out the door? The one who didn't even want to help you with your child?" Nastasia asked scornfully as she faced him, letting her emotions show as she stared hatefully at him.

"I...I...God Staz, she was everything to me. I'm sorry that I miss her!" AJ said, bowing his head and starting to sob again.

Nastasia winced this time.

"You know what? You scared the shit out of me! How am I supposed to understand you killing yourself over her? I felt so sick last night, I couldn't even leave your side for a minute. You were worrying me, I'm scared ok?" Nastasia turned and admitted to him as he looked up to stare into his best friend's gorgeous eyes.

"You're not supposed to understand. You're just supposed to be there and give me a hug and kiss." AJ whimpered as he held both arms out to her like Chase would when he had a bad dream. Nastasia gave him a weak smile and hugged him tightly.

"Don't EVER do that again! I want you to spend the week with me okay? Pack your bags, that way I can make sure you don't get into any trouble. You can always have your room." Nastasia scolded as AJ wiped the tears away from her flushed cheeks.

"Promise...I don't know what I was thinking." AJ moaned, his head still throbbing and he felt sick to his stomach. Nastasia nodded as she stood up and offered him a hand up, only when she grabbed both hands he yelped and came crashing back down. "SON OF A--"

"J! Ohmigosh! I forgot! Let me see!" Nastasia cried as she bent down. AJ offered her his delicate right hand, the swelling began to increase as it bled a bit, angry black and blue marks threatened his perfect skin.

"It hurts." AJ managed to whimper.

"I hate to tell you this babe, but you punched some thing a little too hard. You're going out to the ER again. I seriously think you broke it...Damn what am I gonna do with you when we practice tomorrow?"

"I don't know...You think it's seriously broke?" AJ asked as he stood up and cupped his bad hand gingerly. Nastasia gazed back at him with seriousness.

"I went through drunken rages with my Dad. I know what a broken hand looks like, and I know what it feels like when it happens to you...Even when it wasn't your fault..." Nastasia said softly, AJ had tracked up her past. Her drunk father, the anger, the hitting, the pain. Everything.

"Stazzie...I'm sorry..." AJ sighed as he placed his arm around her protectivly. She sighed loudly as she placed her head on his left shoulder.

"No big deal...it happened..."

"But..."

"No, I'm going to go call Howie. I'll tell him where I am and where to meet us. He's going to kill me one of these days I swear." Nastasia answered absentmindedly as she forced herself to bury the memories that she didn't want to come back up.

"Nastasia..." AJ started to call, knowing this wasn't good for her. She could be in these states for days, but she never really took care of herself, just everyone else. Which drove AJ nuts, he felt he had to protect his little sister, and he almost lost that privilage that night.

"Get some clean clothes on, figures you get to have clean clothes and I get to look like a bum..." Nastasia continued, blocking his voice of concern out of her mind. No bad thoughts. No bad thoughts.

"HEY! You can wear a pair of my jeans and a t-shirt. You always looked fly in my clothes, and they fit you, although you fill them out a little better than I do." AJ said, trying to switch his thoughts, knowing he'd get to her later.

"I should hit your bad arm for that." She teased back.

"Hey!"

"My fave pair?" Nastasia asked innocently.

"Yes. Your fave."

"Thanks J." She said with a fake smile as she kissed his cheek softly and walked to the door. "I'll call D and we'll get going...."