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Chapter 47:

I was in my bathroom, fixing my hair, once again doing nothing more then pulling it into a neat pony tail. It still looked great. I had made up the decision that I would end up going to the guys' show after all. Afterwards, I was going to make ammends with Nastasia once and for all, and hopefully with A.J too.

I had pretty much stayed in my hotel room that day, not feeling much up to anything as I felt myself sink deeper and deeper into my pit of depression.

I began to think back on all the things I had said to Nastasia and all the things I'd thought, and realized fully for the first time that what A.J said was true. I really was being selfish. I had no reason to be either. I should have been thankful for Nastasia. If it weren't for her, A.J wouldn't be here still and Chase wouldn't have his father anymore. I really messed up and I knew I needed to set things straight.

I quickly glanced down at my watch and realized it was 6:25. I had called a cab not too long before and it was supposed to arrive at 6:30 to take me to the arena. I took one last look at myself in the mirror and ran back into the main part of my room, grabbing my coat and rushing out the door.

The cab was already waiting outside as I rushed out the lobby doors.
" Thanks for waiting, " I said in a breathy tone as I hopped in the cab.

" No problem. Where to miss? " the cab driver questioned as he turned around in his seat to face me.

" The Tampa Bay Arena, " I answered, slouching back into my seat. ( *Author's Note* I doubt that's the real name. I was just guessing because I didn't know... )

" You going to that Backstreet Boys concert or something? " he snickered.

" Yeah, I guess you could say that... " I replied and stared out my window as he pulled away and we headed off towards my destination.

*****

" Ok people, 15 minutes til the show! " the stage manager yelled as he rushed by them, making last minute checks on everything.

" Ok buddy, you're gonna need to stay back here while Daddy goes out and performs for all the people ok? " A.J asked as he sat Chase down on the couch that was backstage in the lounging area. It was pretty hectic back there and all the screams from the fans in the audience could be heard.

" Why me no come wit you? " Chase questioned, looking up at his father.

" Um, because you just can't Chasers... " Chase stuck out his bottom lip and glared up at his father. " Hey now, it'll only be for a couple hours and there'll be some nice people back here to keep you company, ok? "

" Whed Mommy come? " Chase asked, completely ignoring A.J's question.

A.J's eyes flashed with anger, but he tried not to show it. " I don't think your Mommy is coming tonight. "

" Why? "

" I don't know... " he lied.

" Yo J, it's time to start the show! " Nick yelled with a funny grin as he ran past, obviously hyped and on a sugar high.

" I gotta go now Chasers. See you in a couple hours, " A.J said and quickly gave his son a kiss on his forehead.

" No Daddy! "

" I'll see you in a couple hours Chase! " A.J called out as he was dragged away to get into position.

*****

I arrived just before the show started. At first I had a bit of trouble getting into the arena until I flashed my admittance pass and backstage pass to the security guards, and finally they let me through. The opening notes just began to play as I reached my seat and the show started.

A.J looked out over the audience as he poured his heart and soul into the song they were singing. His eyes fell on one paticular person. She looked familiar. She looked like...Lauren. No, it couldn't be, he thought. Why would she come? He pushed the thought out of his head and concentrated on making his performance the best.

*****

" Thank you Tampa! You've been a wonderful audience! " Howie yelled and waved to the fans. The guys did one final group bow and exited offstage.

" Damn! That was a blast! " Nick yelled punching the air with a fist and then reaching for his water bottle.

" Yeah, it was great! " Brian agreed. " Though, you and your two left feet Frack... "

" Don't even start Frick... "

" Break it up! " A.J laughed as he pushed through the two who were close at each other's throats. He looked around and went over to the couch where he had last put Chase before the concert, but jumped back with worry when he saw that Chase was not there. He didn't really expect him to have stayed on the couch for the whole two and a half hours, but he didn't see him anywhere. His heart began to race and he looked around frantically. " Shit! "

" What's wrong J? " Kevin asked as he came up to him.

" I-I can't find Chase. He isn't here. Where the hell is he?! "

" Whoa, calm down, I'm sure he's around here somewhere, " Kevin said, placing a reassuring hand on his bandmate's shoulder as he looked like he were going to pull his hair out.

" Yo J, Sonja just told me to tell you she took Chase to the dressing-room during the show. She thought you would like to know, " Howie said as he came up to A.J after seeing the worried expression on his friend's face.

A.J took in a deep breath, relaxing a bit, some of the tenseness he felt, going away. " I'll be back in a bit. Tell Staz to meet me in the dressing room, " he said as he ran off.

He walked into the dressing-room and looked around, finally spotting his son sleeping peacefully on the couch. He smiled warmly and walked over and sat down quietly. Chase clutched onto his Pooh Bear as he slept laying on his stomach and A.J smoothed his hair out. Chase stirred in his sleep and he opened his eyes, looking up tiredly at his Father.

" Daddy! " he said, not fully alert.

" Hey Chasers, " A.J replied with an exhausted grin.

" We go otel now? "

" We will in a little bit. Go back to sleep ok? "

Chase didn't respond, only closed his eyes and by the change in his breathing, A.J could tell he had fallen back asleep.

A.J leaned back in the couch and closed his eyes as he relaxed, waiting for Nastasia to come.

Minutes later he heard the door to the dressing-room open and Nastasia walked in.

" Howie said you wanted to talk to me, " she said quietly, nervousness coating her voice.

" Yeah, I do, " A.J replied as he stood up from the couch. " But let's talk in the other dressing-room, " he said and walked over to the door that adjoined the two dressing-rooms.

Nastasia relunctly followed and sat down on one of the chairs that was in the room as A.J shut the door and walked over to her, sitting on the floor in front of her.

" so, what did you, uh...need to talk to me about? "

" You giving me the cold shoulder and how you seem to try to advoid me if at all possible... "

" Listen, I don't want to talk about it, ok? "

" No, you listen. It's not fair to me and you know it, so tell me what's going on... "

" No A.J, just forget it ok? "

A.J felt himself getting frustrated again, but he softened when he saw the hurt in his friend's beautiful eyes. " If you and Lauren were having such a problem, why didn't you come tell me? "

" Wait, how did you know Laur and I were having problems? "

" I have my source, " A.J half-joked, but became serious again. " And even if that's the case, there's no reason for you to be treating me like this just because of Lauren and - "

" A.J, I'm sorry, but can we just drop it? I don't wanna - "

" Stop trying to just forget about this because I'm not going to. "

" No, I don't want to start anything, " Nastasia said and stood up to leave.

" Wait Stazzie! "

" No A.J, just leave me the HELL alone... " She walked out of the room and slammed the door shut.

" Damnit! " A.J cursed as he rubbed his temples.