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Chapter 57:

I felt like I had been punched hard in the stomach. She had always warned me about practicing safe sex, or so she had told me. And this was the first time she had ever really been sexually active with a man before.

Everything began to come back to me. The fight that AJ and I had. Us spending the night at Nastasia's house. Her and Howie in the bedroom. The teasing, the careless energy flooding through us. Such carelessness.

"Stazzie, you can't be..." I whispered, I felt like her mother. Hell, I was her mother. We were so close, I knew I had to watch out for her. She was so weak and fragile, like a rose.

"You can read the test as well as I can..." She snapped back at me as sobs errupted in her chest. I saw her fall to the ground and double over the toilet. A nasty liquid spewing from her lips.

Morning Sickness. Damn.

I gasped as I yanked a towel from the rod. I grabbed it and wet it quickly. I placed it over the back of her hot neck, cooling her down. She coughed and sputtered until everything left her pale lips.

"What are you going to do Stazzie? What are you going to do?" I muttered softly as she started to bawl again. I reached and pulled her into my rubbery arms, I hugged her tightly, what else could I do?

********

I don't know how long I sat there holding her in the bathroom. She just kept crying and crying. I couldn't stop her tears. She was in a horrible state at the moment, I knew she wouldn't be able to with stand the pressures of a child. I prayed for help.

"HELLO? WE WERE SUPPOSE TO LEAVE A HALF AN HOUR AGO?!" I heard a yell from inside the room. Nastasia's head snapped to attention, we both knew that voice very clearly.

Howie.

"Ohgod! Laurie! God! He can't know! Not now! Not ever!" Nastasia answered in a hush voice. The bathroom door was closed, that could buy us a few seconds.

"Honey, he has to know..."

"Not now! Promise me Lauren! Promise!" Nastasia begged me in a hushed whisper. I felt my heart pounding right along with her that time. I couldn't stop it. Her ocean eyes piercing with saddness and extreme helplessness. I couldn't say no.

"I promise." I whispered, choking back my own tears along with hers.

"HELLO?" Howie yelled impatiently.

"WE'LL BE RIGHT OUT!!!" I yelled back.

"Can you get me some sweats or whatever for practice?" Nastasia asked as she stood up wobbley. I saw the dizziness in her eyes, she looked so pale. And sickly. I felt my panic rush, I was so worried.

"Can't you just say you're sick and not go. I mean they won't miss you for just one concert. Right?" I asked.

"No...I have to go...Maybe the test was wrong...I'm not pregnant. I'm fine. Perfectly...fine...Just go get me my work out clothes...Please..." She begged me once more as she threw the test in the trash and burried it deep. I felt sick inside.

"Fine..." I muttered as she sat back down on the toilet seat. Holding her forehead in her hands. She looked like an angel sitting there, a very depressed angel. I sighed softly as I slipped out of the bathroom.

***********

I came out of the bathroom in a hurry. I saw Howie leaning against the wall. He looked fustrated. I sighed again as I ran to Nastasia's side of the dressers and began searching through her clothing.

"What's up with Staz?" Howie asked.

"She was getting a shower." I lied as I busied myself with finding her some clothing. I grabbed her adidas warm up flares and a tight fitting tanktop, lord knows she wouldn't be able to wear those in a few months.

"How come you're allowed in there when she's getting a shower and I'm not?" Howie teased, I could see the sensuality in his eyes as I grabbed the clothing.

"Because Howard, if you were in there you two would never get out in time to actually be to the concert!" I teased back, Howie laughed, but I suddenly felt sick inside. Those jokes were probably a part of what got us here in the first place.

"Sorry Lauren." He snickered, totally oblivious to what I knew about his girlfriend.

"It's all right Howie. Just go downstairs and tell them we'll be right down. I promise I'll hurry her ass along." I said, faking a entergetic smile.

"Alright." He shrugged as he left.

I sighed loudly as I ran back into the bathroom, only to find Nastasia in tears, the ones that would never seem to go away. The ones that were probably going to stay for awhile too.