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Chapter 58:

Keeping Nastasia's " secret " bottled up inside, hurt me. I desperately wanted to tell somebody, I needed to tell somebody. Sooner later, it had to be let out, I just wasn't sure how soon it would be, and I didn't know how long I could keep it.

Worry shone through Howie's eyes and he kept eyeing Nastasia through out the rehearsal. She avoided eye contact with him completely. It were as if she were deathly afraid of him. I could tell she didn't want to accept the truth.

She just went about her dancing, covering up what she felt and knew the best she could. I was worried about the way she was going about this, She needed to let Howie know. I knew she was afraid, but he had to know. He was the father to be.

Though I didn't agree with what she were doing, I could totally relate to what she was going through. When I had found out I was pregnant with Chase, I had made her promise not to tell the guys, whom she saw everyday, especially A.J.

But that had been a mistake. I realized I should never had made her promise that. And now she was doing the same exact thing...

*****

It was less then a half an hour before the show and I walked into the dancers' dressing-room, knowing that Nastasia would more than likely be in there. She was always in there before the show.

" Hey Stazzie... " I said quietly as I walked in the room and shut the door behind me. She was sitting in one of the chairs staring at the wall, expressionless. It hurt me to see her like this, mostly for the fact that I knew she didn't know how to handle this situation.
" Feeling better? "

" No... " Nastasia replied, her voice choked with sobs. I frowned as I watched her turn around to look at me, her face pale. " God Lauren, how could I have let this happen? "

I took her into a hug. Her body shook with in my arms. This was going to be a very hard time for her and I knew it. " Stazzie, you didn't know... "

" I have always been the one preaching about pre-marital sex and how you should wait, and what do I do? God, I am so stupid! " She cried non-controllably against my shoulder.

" Don't say that. You didn't know this was going to happen, " I coaxed as I rubbed her back, hoping to give some comfort.

" I should have never done it. I should have known better, I shoulder have known this would happen...I can't handle this Laurie! I can't handle this! I'm not ready! "

" Niether was I Stazzie and I thought the same exact thing, but you were there to help me and I made it. You are just like me and I'm going to be there to help you. And, so is Howie. "

" No he's not, because he's not going to know! "

" Stazzie, don't do this to him. Don't make the same mistake I did! He needs to know! "

The door opened and Nastasia quickly turned away as Denise walked in.
" I came in here to tell Stazzie that she needs to start getting ready and come out. Is everything ok? "

" Yeah Denise, everything's fine, " I answered for both of us.

" Alright. "

As soon as Denise had left the room, Nastasia turned back around, the tears cascading down her cheeks. " I can't tell him... "

" You're gonna need to tell him sooner or later. Just let it be sooner, please...don't make the same mistake I did... " I whispered and pulled her in for another hug. " C'mon, you better get going. "

Nastasia and I walked out of the room and not too long after, a familiar voice called after us.

" Hey Stazzie! I've been looking all over for you baby! "

Howie.

I could hear Nastasia sigh deeply as she continued walking. Not even bothering to stop and talk to him.

" Stazzie, wait up! What's wrong? " Howie asked as he caught up to us. He gently grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. " Baby, what's wrong? "

" J-just get away from me Howie! " Nastasia snapped and ran off.

I looked at Howie as he stood there dumbfounded, wondering what was wrong with his girlfriend as the hurt clouded his eyes.