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Chapter 11

Nick woke up the next morning in his bedroom with the sun shining brightly on his face. He squinted when he saw that someone was standing at the bottom of the bed. Though he continued to stare, he couldn't figure out who it was standing down there so he let his head fall back onto the pillow. Whoever it was had to say something sometime. The longer Nick laid there wondering who it was the more uneasy he became.

"Nick," he heard. It was AJ. 'Well, at least now I know who that was,' Nick thought to himself. He groaned and turned over and AJ let out a fustrated sigh, "get up and get dressed," AJ demaned with anger in his voice.

"Why?" Nick asked, mid-yawn.

"Because I said so and if you don't get up now, I'll drag you downstairs like that," AJ warned.

"Is Kerry here?" Nick asked, his eyes wide as he shot up.

"No," AJ answered seriously, "just get up."

"Fine," Nick replied and AJ walked through the door. Nick sighed heavily as he stood up from the bed and streched his arms. He walked to his closet and grabbed some clothes and walked into the bathroom, dressed and brushed his teeth. Just as he stepped out of his room he felt someone grab his arm.

"I know Nick," AJ said simply before he walked away. Not once looking back to even see if Nick was behind him. Nick shook his head and then started to walk to the stairs. There was no way that AJ knew, he was probably just saying it in the off-chance that he actually was using again. When he reached the stairs he stopped.

"Shit," Nick mumbled under his breath. Howie probably called AJ after he'd passed out again. Howie was easy to trick but AJ was a whole nother story. As a matter of fact he was a completely different genre. What was he going to do now? AJ was going to be watching him. Wait a second, Nick thought, he can't be around to baby sit every hour of every day. Nicks chance would come again. It was just a matter of time.

Nick brushed the thoughts from his mind and he walked down the stairs and into his livingroom. He looked around the room. All of the guys were there, he looked at all of them in confussion. What was this all about?

"Nick we're running out of ideas," Kevin said and Nick looked over at him.

"Ideas? For what?" Nick asked.

"To help you."

"I don't need help."

"Nick, we know that you are using it again," Kevin said, "Howie called AJ last night and well, we've put together that the guy that you talked to in the store gave you the drugs."

"What are you talking about?" Nick said attempting to act like he didn't know what they were talking about.

"Nick please," Brian said, "don't make this any worse by lying. You were passed out last night when Howie came up to check on you, just like you were the first time. Did you not think that we would figure that out?"

"Like I said to Howie last night, it was withdrawals," Nick said while trying to hold back the anger that was burning inside of him. He glanced over at Howie, with the anger in his eyes. Howie's eyes showed sympathy even though he knew that part of Nick hated him right now.

"We signed you up to spend sometime at a small private hospital not too far from here," Brain said solemnly, "you're going to get detox. We think that you'll be better there than having us watch you. They're trained in this sort of thing."

"I'm not going, simple as that," Nick said staring at Brian. Brian returned his stare but the two of them didn't make any futher comments until the silence was broken when someone spoke.

"Do it Nick," a soft, familiar, female voice said. Nick turned around to see Kerry standing there looking at him.

"I...," Nick began searching for words, his mind had so many things that he wanted to say to her but her mouth wasn't letting him, "I don't need..."

"When I left, you said that you could change. I didn't believe you, why don't you prove me wrong Nick?" she asked, trying to hide the fact that she was more nervious now than she had ever been at any other time in her life. He didn't say anything. He just looked into her eyes. There was something that he was looking for, forgiveness.

"Kerry," Nick said taking a step closer to her. She fought off her instinct to take a step back, at least for now, "I.....you...god, I am so sorry about what happened."

"You're not acting like you are," she replied.

"What?" Nick asked slightly confussed.

"If you were really sorry, you would go and help yourself get better. If not for me then for you so that what happened between me and you doesn't happen again."

"Do you forgive me?" he asked. She shut her eyes tightly and then opened them again, they had filled with tears.

"There's no way that I'm ever going to be able to completely forgive you Nick. Not after what I went through. It's not one of those things that forgive and forget because I'm never going to forget."

"I didn't mean too..." he added softly.

"I know you didn't and that's why I think you should do this. So that you don't hurt anyone ever again because if you did it once, you might do it again."

"Never."

"You saw that now but the next time you go out, you'll forget all about it and then some other poor girl is going to have to suffer the same fate as I did. You don't want that to happen, I know you don't. It's just when you get like that, you're another person," Kerry explained. She looked at Nick as he stood there looking at her. "Please Nick, do this for me."

"No," Nick said softly as he turned and walked out of the livingroom. He made it into the kitchen and then he leaned against the wall. He closed his eyes and his body slid down the wall and onto the floor. For the first time since this had all started, he let out tears of regret. He regreted ruining everything good that his life had because he didn't think.

"What made you come Kerry?" Brian asked as he looked at Kerry who hadn't moved since she arrived.

"AJ called me a little while ago and told me that you guys were going to try to get him to a hospital," she explained.

"I thought that you didn't want anything to do with him anymore," AJ commented, "what made you come here?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I guess I just want him to get better," she answered.

"So you're sticking around?" Howie asked.

"Probably not. I can't. I don't know if you noticed but being around Nick scares the shit out of me," she answered nerviously, "I just figured that two of us don't need to live in pain. One is enough."