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Chapter 22

Nick awoke to the sun shinning brightly upon his face. He squinted his eyes so that he could see. Slowly, he stood up from his bed and walked over to the window and pulled the shade down. The sun was too much for him. He sighed as his eyes began to adjust to the darkness once again. His attention turned to the door when he heard someone opening it.

"Mr. Carter?" the nurse asked as she looked in on him.

"Yes," he replied, his voice still horse.

"The doctor would like to see you in a little while so I suggest you get yourself cleaned up and maybe have some breakfast while you can," she told him.

"Alright, I'll be ready in a little bit," he answered yawning.

"You know where to find Doctor Santiago correct?" she asked.

"Maria? Uh yeah, room 206 right?" he replied.

"Yes, that's correct."

"Alright I'll be there in a few minutes alright?" he asked. The nurse nodded and shut the door behind her. Part of Nick didn't want to go up and talk to Maria. She wasn't going to believe him when he told her that he didn't take the pills while he was in the clinic and that it was just sort a delayed reaction so to speak. After all, he was there to get help. He had just walked in, the guys didn't have to drag him in, didn't that say something. Obviously not, Nick told himself. These people only thought of him as some drug addict and that was it and that there was no depth to his personality.

Hell, there was a lot to him, he thought. If you looked past the negative, he was a pretty good guy. There had never been a time before all of this that he had really been in serious trouble, just minor things that most teenagers go through, nothing that could really hurt him. He was a great older brother. Thinking back, he couldn't remember a time that he wasn't there when his brother or sisters needed him the most. They always came first, they were his family after all.

He hadn't even talked to them in a long time and he began to wonder how they were doing. He was sure that they had heard everything about what had been going on with him by now. Everyone had. He could see the headlines now 'BackStreet Boy Number Two Enters Rehab, who's next?' or 'BackStreet Boy Nick Carter: Drug Addict.' God how he hated the press sometimes. They didn't even stop to think about what he was going through. No, they just jumped at the chance to get a story.

Critics were going to have a feild day with this one, Nick thought as he pulled some clean clothes out of his bag. They were always looking for something that would bring them down. This was basically handed to them on a sliver plater. First AJ, now Nick. Not to mention it's been two years since there last album. What stress could there be in time off? Nick knew better than that though. Yes, this may have been his time away from the music industry, but he could never escape who he was.

People were going to recongize him no matter where he went. In the back of his mind he always wondered if all these people he met liked him for the type of person he was or just because he was a BackStreet Boy. That's a lot of stress for someone to deal with. The situation just keeps getting worse. The bigger he became the more he had to worry. It had made it to the point where Nick didn't trust anyone that he'd never met before. Everytime he met someone, he convinced himself that they were just being nice to him because he was famous and not simply because they thought that he really was a good person.

Kerry helped him get over that part of his life. She opened so many doors for him. She had been the reason that he was able to start going out and live his life again. It was just that life was the wrong one. He'd always known about the dangers of what he was doing, but after the first time he tired it and all he felt was positive effects, he was hooked. If only he could go back and change everything. He and Kerry would still be together and he wouldn't be where he was.

So many things would have been different if he had just listened to everyone when this first started. If only he had done the right thing instead of giving into what was going on around him. Everything that had happened took his life away from him. Things were never going to be like they were before all of this. Never. No matter how hard he tried to erase this part of his life from everyone's minds, they would still know about it and think about it. Maybe the would even think of him as some one that gave into his problems.

He may have let them take control for a while but he did eventually fight back and admit that he had a problem. Everyone accepted this with AJ, why should he be any different? They were both only human and were entitled to make mistakes. Didn't everyone at one point or another make a mistake? Sure they did, he thought as he finished dressing. He didn't feel like having breakfast so he sat back down on his bed and continued to think. He was so scared at that point.

His mind filled with confussion. Maria wasn't going to be any help and that was because she didn't trust him. Inorder to help him they were going to have to trust him and that was something that they proved they didn't believe. They had locked him up alone with tight security around at all times. If that's what trust was, then he was the most trusted man on the planet, he thought as he closed his eyes.

"I wonder what Kerry's doing," he whispered to himself. He still hadn't forgiven himself for what he did to her that night and he was sure that she hadn't forgiven him either. Could any one blame her? It was Nicks ignorance that caused her all the pain she was suffering. It was his sheer stupidity that did all of this to them. He ruined two perfectly good lives. On top of that the guys were suffering too. He'd put them through so much. They were at the hospital both times he had become sick.

They were the ones that stayed by him so that they could help him get better. They never gave up on him. Which Nick was sure was probably the easiest thing to do at that point. Just to forget him and act like nothing was going on. That's what most people would have done. They would have let him kill himself basically. Even Kerry wanted to help him, she was the one that begged him to stop drinking and taking drugs before it was too late. He should have listened to her. If he had, he knew he would have her with him.

Nick glanced over at the clock that was on the other end of the room and decided that he should at least start heading up. He knew that security was going to be outside when he opened the door but there wasn't anything that he could do about it. They were going to be there for as long as the clinic wanted them too. He was just going to have to do this best to prove that he was trustworthy so that they wouldn't be around. As Nick stepped into the hallway, he saw two security guards standing there.

"I was just heading up to Maria's office," Nick told him, "I'm sure that at least one of you is going to want to come along." Maybe this was going to work, he thought to himself. Security was one group of people that he had to convince that he was trustworthy and by the looks on there faces, they were shocked that he had welcomed them instead of putting up a fight. Good move Nick, he told himself.

One of them nodded and Nick started to walk towards Maria's office. The guard kept his attention strongly on Nick like he thought that he was going to try something. No such luck buddy, Nick said in his head as he fought to keep a smirk off of his face. Can't let them see that I'm amused by this, Nick told himself. The halls were pretty long. If the numbers weren't going in order, Nick would have gotten himself lost a long time ago.

They were almost there, Nick said to himself as he saw room 201. Just a few more doors. The security guard was still watching Nick intently. He still must have thought that Nick was going to try something. Nick sighed as he walked up to the door of Marias office. He opened the door and she was sitting behind her desk with two security guards, one on each side of her. Nick looked at them confussed. What was this all about?

"Do you have anything that you would like to tell us Nick?" Maria started off looking at Nick seriously. He looked back at her, he still wasn't sure what was going on.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as his eyes moved to take a good look at both of the security guards that were with her. He'd never seen them before. Maria looked at Nick and let out a long sigh, like she was agrivated with him for some reason. There was no reason for her to be was there?

"We found these in your bag shortly after you were admitted to the hospital," she said pulling out a bottle of pills. He looked at the bottle in her hand. His mind was spinning. They weren't his, he didn't know how they had gotten into his bag.

"They aren't mine," he finally choked out.

"Mr. Carter," she said patiently, "they were found in your bag."

"I understand that, but you have to believe me. Those aren't mine. I got rid of the last bottle that I had. I dumped it into the garbage disposal at my house."

"Denying this is just going to make things worse Mr. Carter," she said, her patience becoming thin and worn.

"What are you talking about??" Nick said shaking his head. His mind wasn't processing anything any more. He just knew that those pills weren't his.

"We've called the police," she replied. Nick looked up at her, his eyes were wide and filled with confussion.

"What? I didn't do anything.... those aren't mine. I swear," Nick said stumbling over his words.

"We're just going to have to leave that up to the police to decide," she answered.

"This can't be real," Nick mumbled, "this isn't happening."

"Mr. Carter, the police are going to be hear any moment and I advice that you cooperate with them so you don't make things any worse on yourself," she said looking up at Nick.

"But I didn't do anything!" Nick yelled angerly. Tears were swelling in his eyes. He didn't know what else to do any more .

"Keep your temper under control," she replied after his outburst. Nick opened his mouth to say something but the doors behind him opened. He turned around to watch as two police officers walked into the room. Nick glanced over at Maria as one of the officers took Nicks hand behind his back and started to read him his rights.

How could she be doing this to him? Why did she have to call the police on him instead of talking to him first and giving him a chance to tell his side of the story. Though he knew that he didn't do anything, he didn't put up a fight. That would just make things worse, he knew that much. Tears started to roll down his cheeks as the officers lead him out of the hospital and into the squad car.

His eyes remained on the building as they drove away from it. Nick wasn't sure how he should be handling this situation any more. He just wanted things to get better. He was sick of his life being a mess. This was just another obstical in his path to getting better.

"Excuse me officers," Nick said his voice coming out weak, "could one of you explain what's going on??" The officer in the passanger seat turned around to look at Nick who had tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Dr. Santiago called us because of the drugs that you had in your possesion," he replied.

"They aren't mine," he replied maintaining his innocence, "I came here because I wanted to get help. I wanted to prove to everyone that I could get better."

"Well son," the officer said, "I don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry that all this had to happen but I'm doing my job."

"I know," Nick replied leaning back in the chair. He cool metal of the handcuffs was present around his wrists. This can't be real he told himself. I'm going to wake up and it's all going to be over. The officer turned back around to look at the road in front of him. Nick shut his eyes and rested his head against the back of the seat. What was he supposed to tell the guys? They were never going to believe what was happening. Nick was going through it and he didn't believe it.