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Chapter 9

Nick sighed as he flipped through the channels of his television. He wasn't sure what to do any more. Part of him wanted to go along with Brians idea but there was a chance that Kerry might want him again but another part of him was telling him that his chances weren't good and that's the part he gave into. He knew that Kerry wasn't the kind of guy that would come running back so doing anything drastic wouldn't change anything.

Nick stood up and walked into the bathroom. He had found out what AJ and Howie had done while he was at the hospital and part of him was angry, but then the other part... it was glad that they did what they did. Nick shook his head as he snapped himself out of his thoughts and he looked out of the window. Lately, his body had begun to go through withdrawlas. He hadn't been able to get his fixes and he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to last much longer.

Nick looked down at his shaky hands and then shut them into fists. He shut his eyes, he knew that somehow he needed to get a fix. There was no way that he was going to be able to get through this without it. But how was he going to get it without the guys knowing? AJ had been watching him like a hawk. Nick knewthat he had to make sure that when he figured out how to get it into the house that it wasn't AJ's watch.

The others watched him closely too but not as close as AJ did. Nick walked back into his bedroom and laid on the bed. Howie would be the easiest to get it past. He was the one that believed in second chances and trust between friends so it would be a lot easier to get it past him than anyone else. A satisfied smile slowly appeared upon Nicks face. He had an idea that would work and there would be no way that he could be caught. It was perfect. Nick jumped up from the bed and walked downstairs where he saw Brian sitting on the couch.

"Hey man," Nick said causing Brian to look over at him.

"Hi Nick," Brian replied softly. He was still kind of disapointed that Nick hadn't agreed to his idea last night. He thought that it would work for sure. Nick took a seat on the couch next to Brian and sighed.

"So who's dropping by next?" Nick asked hoping that Brian wouldn't ask too many questions about why he was asking.

"Howie," Brian replied, "why?"

"Just wondering," Nick answered, trying to hide the fact that he was excited that Howie was going to take the next 'watch.'

"Oh okay."

"So how you feeling?" Nick asked quietly.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

"I guess," Nick answered softly. Brian let a small, brief, smile slip onto his face but then let it slip away as fast as it appeared, "you're still mad at me?"

"No, I'm not mad at you Nick."

"I think you are."

"I'm not Nick," Brian replied, "I'm just tired. I really don't know what to do right now. I mean, this is really hard for all of us, not just you."

"But you're not the one going through it, I am so you don't know how hard it is," Nick said bitterly.

"It doesn't just effect you," Brian commented.

“Why doesn’t it? You think if I mess myself up too much it’s going to ruin things for you guys. That’s why all you guys are worried, you don’t want me to mess things up for you guys,” Nick snapped.

“Nick that’s not what this is all about! We don’t care if you ‘mess up’ our careers! We just want you to be alright, that’s the most important thing alright?” Brian yelled.

“Whatever Brian. You know as well as I do that I’m the last thing you’re worried about,” Nick yelled back.

“That’s bullshit and you know it! I don’t care what happens to our careers! Do you think this is the only thing that any of us can do? There are so many other things that we can do with our lifes Nick! We just want to make sure that you’re around to see that! Our careers aren’t worth it if one of our best friends is suffering because of it,” Brian snapped.

“Why don’t you just tell me the truth already? You don’t have to protect me from anything!”

“What are you talking about Nick? We’ve always told you the truth. That hasn’t changed, ever and it won’t because you have the right to know what’s going on. I understand that Nick so I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian answered with confussion clearly in his voice.

“I’m talking about what you really think about me!” Nick yelled and Brian looked at him with confussion on his face, “I know that you guys all think that I’m just some little kid that can’t take care of himself.”

“We don’t think that Nick.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I want to make sure that you get better. You might not believe it right now, but that’s how I feel. We just didn’t want you to do anything that might cause you to have to go to the hospital again. I don’t want to see that happen to you again.”

“Why can’t you just let me make my own mistakes?” Nick asked with his temper starting to subside.

“We do Nick. This is just something that you are going to need support to fix. That and we knew if we let you do this, we might lose you. None of us want anything bad to happen to you bro,” Brian explained. Nick looked towards the door when the heard the bell and then he looked towards Brian.

“Expecting anyone?”

“No, it’s probably just Howie. He still rings the bell,” Brian explained as he stood up and walked over to the door to let Howie in.

“Hey Bri,” Howie answered when Brian opened the door.

“Hey, I’m gonna go. I’ll talk to you later,” Brian replied as he walked out of the door as soon as Howie stepped in.

“What’s up with him?” Howie asked Nick.

“I dunno,” Nick replied. This was the time, he thought, “hey D.”

“Yeah Nicky?”

“I think we need to get some more stuff to eat in the house ya know?” Nick commented.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. Maybe I should go to the store. You’re going to have to come with me, you know that right?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind. Besides, I think I need some fresh air,” he answered.

“Alright cool. Lets go,” Howie said.

“Hold on, let me go change real quick,” Nick told him.

“Oh alright. Hurry up though,” Howie replied as sat on the couch after Nick had started to walk towards the stairs. When Nick was upstairs he grabbed his cell phone and called one of the guys that usually went out with him.

“Dan,” Nick said.

“Hey Nick. I heard about your little trip to the hospital,” he answered.

“Yeah well, I need you to help me out a little.”

“Ok, what do you need me to do?”

“Bring some of the stuff to the grocery story near my house alright?”

“Sure, I can do that for you, but are you going to be alone?”

“No, but I’ll figure something out.”

“Okay, I’ll see you in a few,” he said before he hung up. Nick took a deep breath as he grabbed a clean t-shirt from the closet. In a way he felt bad about doing this behind Howie’s back, but he knew that he had to do what he had to do and Howie wasn’t going to let him get this so he had to do it behind his back.

Nick pulled the clean t-shirt over his head and took a deep breath. This was going to hold a challange but he was sure that he would be able to figure a way around it. Besides, none of the guys knew Dan so Howie wouldn’t think anything was going down. This was going to work, Nick was going to make it.