Chapter 3

Close Encounters with the Porcelain God

I want out. I looked to see the girl standing up, offering her hand to Trevor. Thank God! She feigned another smile and friendly goodbye as she shook everyone's hands. When she took mine, it took all of my willpower not to jerk back at the touch. For a split second, my ears roared, and the adrenaline rush returned. Heart pounding, I quickly finished the handshake, and stepped back shakily. Jake clapped a hand on my shoulder, intending to guide me over to Mike, but I cringed away and he quickly removed the offending body part. I didn't need help anyway, I could easily walk over to Mike myself. Right.

Chill Ashley, I told myself. Just freakin' chill. I could feel my legs start to shake. When it reached my hands, I shoved them into my jeans pockets, but yanked them back out again when I felt them touch my hips. I hadn't felt like this in quite a while. Why was this happening now? Oh yeah, Jeremy. Sometimes just talking to him reminded me. Heck, right now just thinking about him reminded me. But he could also help me. He and Kim were the only ones who knew. And I guess his dad, but he probably didn't even remember. He didn't have a clue, which was fine with me. I, certainly, would never forget.

A hand clamping onto my arm dragged me out of my thoughts and toward the door.

"Don’t touch me!" I gasped, wrenching away from a startled Mike. Afraid, I stared at him for a moment, not really seeing him. Instead, the face of Jeremy's dad filled my vision. A second later the angry face was replaced by Mike's confused one. Realizing that I had freaked out on him, I quickly moved my gaze to the floor. I'd have to say that the new carpet was nice, but I would have definitely picked a darker shade to match the-

"Ashley?" His tone was questioning, but gentle, like he was scared that I would go postal again. Which, I guess, was a reasonably valid fear, seeing as how I had little control over my reactions at the moment. I shook my head and continued to look at the carpet. Who the heck used bright pink carpet to accompany a wallpaper decorated with magenta flowers and dark green leaves? I mean, I wasn't a designer, but even I knew-

"Ash?" Dammit, quit interrupting my thoughts! I looked up sharply, to see five guys looking at me worriedly. The thought crossed my mind that I should be glad that the journalist had already left. Yes, okay, so I'm glad. But I hastily decided that I should be more concerned with finding a bathroom to puke in. My stomach was doing some kind of dance and I felt safe to say that it wasn't one that our choreographers had taught us.

"Bathroom?" I asked quietly, trying not to open my mouth any more than need be. It might have been the tone of voice I used, or maybe the way all the color had drained out of my face, that clued them into the fact that I needed to find a bathroom, and fast. Eric and Trevor each grabbed an arm and began to half-drag me out the door and into the hall. I was almost tempted to protest against their touch, but decided against that, seeing as how I wasn't totally sure that my shaking legs would support me anyway. I became positive that they wouldn't when I lost all control of my muscles. I felt Eric and Trevor stagger momentarily under the unexpected dead weight that they were suddenly carrying, but then move faster down the hall. I hoped they knew where they were going, because my stomach informed me that my breakfast would be revisiting us all soon, and I obviously had no say in it.

"Shit, Ashley!" I heard someone mutter behind me. Probably Jacob. I could tell he wasn't angry, just concerned. I could try to explain to them that I was okay, but I knew better than to open my mouth. Plus, I had a sneaking suspicion that I wasn't, right now.

I closed my eyes for a second, and opened them again when I felt my knees gently touch down on a cold tile floor. No more of that nasty pink carpet, that was good. Ooooh, toilet, that was even better. And just in the nick of time, it seemed. A wave of nausea washed over me, and I closed my eyes again. I didn't much feel like watching the contents of my stomach splash into the toilet, thankyouverymuch. I felt a cool hand on my forehead, supporting my head, and one on my back. I'd heard a saying once that a friend would hold your head for you while you puked, but only a true friend would do it while covered in your vomit. Well, Eric was being a good friend for me right now, so I wouldn't hold him to the true friend part. I'm sure he'd appreciate that.

"Shhh, shhhhh. It's okay, you're okay." I wondered why he was saying that until I realized that I was shaking all over. Ooookay, great. When my stomach finally let me know that it was finished, I straightened slowly. I thought it rather rude of it to not inform me of this unscheduled performance ahead of time. I mean, I could have at least penciled it in on my calendar. Jeez, manners today.

"You got it, Ash?" I think he was asking me if I could stand. Judging on how hard I was trembling, I shook my head. "Can I help?" I guess he wasn't sure if I'd let him touch me anymore. I nodded, figuring that my earlier crisis was over. Nothing else to see here people, keep moving.

He gently slid his arms under mine and lifted, so that I was in a standing position. I tried to straighten my legs, but they didn't obey. What was it with my body today? Apparently it had decided to let me know in no uncertain terms that I was not in control here. Lesson learned, thanks.

"Can you stand up?" I tried again, this time actually succeeding in taking on some of my weight before my knees buckled. If it hadn't been for Eric, I would have been eating bathroom tiles for the rest of my life. Once again, he pulled me out of my nose dive, and I found myself wrapped in his arms. Outside of this type of situation, I would have been rather uncomfortable in this position. Okay, so I was, a little, but far be it for me to complain. After all, he had just saved my ass twice in a row.

Grunting under my weight, he dragged me out of the stall and through a door. When he carefully set me down, I felt carpet under my head and realized I was lying in the hallway outside the bathroom. With five other guys crowding around me. How embarrassing. I closed my eyes, wishing I could disappear. Exhaustion washed over me. Sleep. Sleep would be good, too.

. But as sleep was an inconsiderate no-show, I struggled to sit up, then realized that that probably wasn't the greatest of ideas. My head spun for a moment, slowly clearing. Everybody was looking at me. Had I been alone on stage performing, and not crouched in some hallway outside a bathroom, that might not be such a bad thing. But at the moment, it was one of the last things on my wish list.

"You okay, Ash?" Dan was asking.

"Need help?" I heard someone say.

"Maybe you should just sit there for a few more minutes," Mike advised. Yeah, give me a laptop and credit card so I could book that flight and I would, gladly. No, I didn't specify that the credit card had to be mine. Yours would work, too.

"Mmmm," I replied out loud. No sense in wasting words. I held up a hand, hoping someone would get the hint. Jacob took it, lifting me up.

"Thanks," I said, trying to catch my balance. Two more hands on my shoulders steadied me.

"I'm good, thanks." Trevor's look said that he wasn't so sure, but the hands left my shoulders. "I gotta do something. Mike, can I talk to you?" This time the look on everyone's faces informed me that I was signing my own death certificate. "Alone?" Signed, sealed, and delivered.

"Ummm, sure." At Mike's reply, I turned to find a private place to have our little chat, and lost my balance. I staggered and fell against the wall before more hands grabbed me and held me upright.

"Uh, thanks," I said in the direction of the majority of the hands. A few let go and I became painfully aware of one on my chest, still holding me up. No, don't think about it. Bad idea. Very, very bad idea. I propped myself up on the wall and turned to Mike. The hands went away as the guys discreetly drifted off, giving Mike and I the requested privacy. I crossed my arms over my chest protectively and looked at him squarely. It then occurred to me that I didn't know exactly what to say.