Chapter 2

What Was I Thinking

……………

"Ash!" Jacob said, shaking me. "Ash!"

I shook my head and leaned away from him. "Just leave me 'lone," I mumbled to my knees. I just wanted to be left alone.

"No," Jacob insisted. "Tell me what's wrong."

I shook my head again. Hell no. I couldn't tell them. What could I say? That my friend, also the mother of my son, just died, and my baby was in the hospital? Shit. This could be complicated.

Momma. I wanted my Momma.

Wiping my face on my sleeve, I fumbled with the phone in my lap, dialing the familiar numbers. After a few rings, there was a muffled "Hello?" on the other end.

"Hey," I said to Taylor, voice thick, "can I talk to Mom?"

"Yeah, just a sec." There was a moment of static, in which I assumed Tay was covering the mouthpiece, then a loud yell which told me he hadn't. "MOM, IT'S ASH! GET THE PHONE!"

Wincing, I chose to hold the phone away from my ear rather than comment on my damaged hearing. After more sounds of shuffling, my mom picked up the phone.

"Hey!"

At the sound of her voice, I totally lost it. "Momma," I choked, "there's an accident." The tears started again, and as I reached up to wipe them away, I realized that Jacob was still standing beside me, hand on my shoulder supportively.

"Oh, baby, are you alright? What happened?"

I shook my head even though she couldn't see me. "No," I blurted in between sniffles, "it was Katie." A sob escaped and I quickly bit my lip, tasting salt from the tears. "She's dead. Momma!" The sobs returned with a vengeance.

"Oh Ashley. I'm so, so sorry." I could tell she was trying to be strong, but she knew Katie, too. "What—what about Brent?"

"He—" I heard a whimper, then realized it was me. "Momma, he's hurt." I bit my lip once again, this time mixing the saltiness with the coppery taste of blood.

"How? Where is he?" I could hear the panic rising in her voice.

"In the hospital. Hurt bad." A shaky breath came from the other end of the line.

"Redding Medical?"

I sniffed. "Yeah."

"I'll go right there."

"Thanks Mom." The sobs had subsided, and the tears began to slow. "I'm comin'. Tell him I'm comin', kay?"

"Alright. I'm gonna go there now, is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's good. I—I don't know what room…" I sniffed again, wishing that I'd been listening earlier. Dammit.

"That's okay, I got it covered." Dealing swiftly with the shock, she settled back into caring mom mode, reassuring me that it'd all be fine. "I'll call you as soon as I see him."

"Yeah. Thanks Mom," I said again.

"Okay, Ash. Just come as soon as you can."

"Yeah."

"I love you."

"You, too, Mom."

" 'Bye."

" 'Bye." I waited to hear the click on the other side, then hung up. The phone once again dropped to my lap, and I cradled my head in my arms.