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Chapter 26: The Truth Can Hurt

"Cut it out Nick and play by the rules!" Brian ordered in a frustrated voice as Nick punched at the buttons on his game controller in a childish manner, leaning heavily into Brian to keep him from playing the game successfully. But Nick failed to listen once again, or rather he was stubbornly choosing to block Brian's words out of his brain. Either way, the frustration was getting to the Kentuckian and soon enough he became fed up with Nick's immature antics on always insisting on winning the video games.

"Give it up Frickster! For I am the master and you can never beat me in the sporting art of playing video games! Muahahahahahaha!!!" Nick's voice cackled maniacally in Brian's face. He then immediately glued his attention back on the television screen.

Brian nearly fell backwards from the force emitting from Nick's childish words, or maybe it was just Nick's bad breath. But it was Nick's mood at the very moment that caused Brian's eyebrows to raise in an uneasy questioning manner. "Whoa, what kinda crack are you on?" he asked, leaning all of his weight against Nick's in an attempt to retaliate and cause Nick to screw his position up in the game. Much to Brian's disliking, it wasn't happening.

"That would be top secret information Fricko! You'll never get it out of me alive!!!" Nick screamed, moving to stand in front of the tv. He giggled uncontrollably as his character zoomed ahead of Brian's in the little race, on account that Brian's could no longer see the screen.

"Nick! Get your big butt out of the way!" Brian's tone cracked as he blindly drove his character on the track.

"Never!"

"Now!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"I said yes! Now MOVE!!!"

"No such luck!" Nick grinned at Brian over his shoulder and stepped even closer to the television. Only a mere few seconds went by before Nick abruptly dropped his controller and threw his hands in the air in a triumphant manner. "HA! Who da man?! Who da man?!" he whooped as he began to do a little victory dance in his spot.

"Only because you cheat!" Brian shot back and threw down his own controller. He jumped up. "And don't lie, because you are a bad liar. Almost as bad as D."

"Hey! I resent that!" Howie immediately defended himself, slightly glaring at his younger Kentuckian friend.

"I'm only speaking the truth, D," Brian replied innocently, a grin on his face. "Thou shall not lie, for lying is a sin."

"Yeah, you would know, considering you're the walking, talking, Bible."

"Damn straight," Brian continued to grin.

"Who's the video game master, Brian? Huh? Huh? Who is he?!" Nick continued to cackle, egging Brian on as he poked him annoyingly in the shoulder.

"Not you, you blonde freakin' moron!" Brian hollered and tackled Nick to the ground, catching the tall blonde off-guard. The two of them landed on the floor with a loud thump and a muffled "oomph" from Nick. Brian, however, immediately pinned his friend's arms down and plopped onto his stomach. "Now who da man?!"

"Get...off...me!" Nick screeched, struggling under Brian's hold.

"Um...how about...no!"

"I mean it! Get off me!"

"No chance, Nicky!"

"Now you've really done it!" Nick growled deeply and quickly threw Brian to the floor, pinning him. "Never, and I mean never call me Nicky. Understood?!"

"Yes sir, Nicky!" Brian saluted.

"I'ma beat you senseless, Frick!"

"I'd like to see you even try, Frack!"

"Grow up, you two," Kevin tried not to laugh as he forced a semi-serious look on his face. He cleared his throat and furled his eyebrows, setting a deep glare in his emerald eyes just as they heard a knocking on the door. "'Cause if you don't, then I'll...I'll...be forced to...ground both of you! And I don't want to have to do that if I don't have to!"

Brian and Nick stopped their wrestling and looked at each other, before finally busting out in belly-holding laughter.

"You...ground us?" Brian laughed helplessly, staring at his cousin in a comical manner.

"Yeah, me ground you," Kevin repeated, standing up to go over to the door.

"And how do you propose you're going to do that?"

"Easily. Aunt Jackie gave me permission a long time ago."

"Maybe back when the group first started, but even then you wouldn't have been able to ground me, you old fart!"

"Yeah, you old fart!" Nick chorused, wanting to get his say in the situation like always.

"Watch what you say, Carter. I still have say over what you can and can not do, even if you are twenty-two years old!" Kevin grinned with satisfaction at the stumped look on Nick's face and he carefully took a look into the peep hole. At first he had to squint to see the person clearly, but eventually recognized the person standing on the other side of the door as being Jeanie McGuire, AJ's therapist. She was looking around the hall nervously as she waited for the door to open.

"Who's at the door?" Howie asked before Kevin had a chance to reach for the door handle.

The older Kentuckian looked back over his shoulder at the shorter latino. "AJ's therapist," came his answer.

Howie jumped up from his chair with lightning speed and raced over to the door, pushing Kevin aside. "Let me answer the door," he replied with a shrug, offering Kevin an apologetic look.

"Of course D wants to open the door," Brian snickered.

Howie shot him a glare. "Can it amigo, if you know what's good for ya."

"Sometimes I wonder if the name "Sweet D" actually fits him anymore," Brian mumbled, jumping up from the floor and plopping onto the bed as Nick resumed his game play with the playstation.

Howie wiped a sweaty palm on his pants and slowly brought the door open, right as Jeanie was fixing to raise her hand to knock again. "Hey," he greeted with a smile when he noticed the surprised look wash over her face.

"...Hello," Jeanie answered back after a bit of slight hesitation. She tried to look past Howie and get a glance into the room. "Um, am I at the right room? I wasn't sure which to come to. I went to AJ's room first, but recieved no answer. Then I passed Kevin's bodyguard in the hallway and he said to check Kevin's room, number 417."

Howie nodded. "Yep, this is the right place," he said, moving aside to allow Jeanie to step into the room. "We're just waiting for AJ to get here," he added.

"Oh? Where would he be?"

"His mom, Denise, had to take him to the ER earlier this morning," Kevin answered, his voice making Jeanie visibly jump.

Recovering from her sheepish act, Jeanie looked at Kevin with a questioned expression filled with concern. "What's wrong with him?"

"He injured his knee during practice yesterday and it was giving him enough trouble this morning that we all agreed he ought to go get it checked out," Kevin explained, taking a seat, and motioning to an empty chair that Jeanie could sit in. After a few seconds, she took Kevin's offer and sat down.

"Hey, you never did answer my question the other day!" Nick piped up as he paused him game and looked at Jeanie.

"Question?" Jeanie asked him.

"Yeah," Nick nodded. "I wanted to know if it's really true that everyone in England drinks tea all day and always talks about the weather?"

A round of surpressed groans chorused around the room at Nick's blatant stupidity that always seemed to shine right at the worst times, but Jeanie let loose of a small laugh. "Contrary to popular belief, Nick," she began, "No, us British don't drink tea all day and always talk about the weather."

"Damn," Nick grumbled and turned back to his game.

Kevin covered his face in embarrassment as he rolled his eyes. He offered Jeanie an apologetic smile on Nick's behalf. "AJ should be arriving any time. He's been gone for several hours, but then again...waiting time in an ER can seem to take a lifetime..."

"I don't think we're all in a hurry, are we?" Jeanie asked.

"Nope, we don't need to be at the arena for several more hours," Howie grinned.

Brian snickered at his expression.

"Alright," Jeanie smiled back and everyone fell silent. No words were spoken as an uncomfortable silence fell over the room, every once and a while interrupted by "bleeps", "beeps", and "buzzers" coming from Nick's game.

Then...

"Why do you British people drink so much tea-"

"Shut up, Nick!" Brian, Howie, and Kevin ordered in unison. Jeanie looked at them in shock.

"Don't mind Nicky boy. He can be extremely blonde sometimes," Brian said.

'He sure is quite the character' Jeanie thought.

"You'll get used to him after a while," Howie added, trying to get his two cents in. He offered Jeanie a friendly smile as he sat there looking at her, trying to ignore the silent snickering coming from Brian. He gave himself a mental note, 'Kick Brian's butt later'.

Silence draped itself over the room again. Noone really felt the need to speak, so all just sat in their places doing their own thing. Nick played his video game in deep concentration, Kevin kept stealing quick glances at his watch, Howie kept staring at AJ's therapist, Brian continued to snicker at Howie, and Jeanie tried to focus her attention on the television screen although she couldn't help but notice the look Howie was giving her. In truth, the silence in the room seemed a bit odd.

"This sucks!" AJ's voice suddenly floated in through the closed doorway from out in the hall. The sudden sound made all eyes glue their attention on the door in anticipation.

"Stop complaining," Denise's voice answered with a laugh. "You tripped up your knee and now you're dealing with it. There's no use in complaining about it."

"Some supportive mother you are," AJ joked in return, then grumbled, "I still think this sucks..."

"Well then, don't trip up your knee next time," Jeff replied.

"You're fired, Jeff!" AJ shot.

"Tough luck, Aje...you can't fire me."

"Whatever. Can you open the door so I can get inside?"

"No, but I can open the door," Kevin answered, tossing the door open. He'd jumped up from his seat as soon as he'd heard their voices and now he stood in the open door way, his eyes masked with concern and shock as he looked at AJ. The rebel was uncomfortably balancing on a pair of crutches with a small brace fit snuggly around his knee so he was unable to bend it. "That bad?" he asked, looking at AJ's injured knee. AJ only shrugged and hobbled past Kevin into the room. "Well, what was the doctor's diagnoses? If he's got you in a brace and on crutches, it must be bad."

"It's not as bad as it looks. I just happened to strain the muscles around the knee when my knee cap popped. Alot more damage could have been done, but it's nothing too severe. The doctor just wants to play it safe, so he put me in a brace and on crutches, meaning I've been ordered to stay off my knee for the next few days and not put any unneeded stress on it," AJ explained as he carefully moved over to the bed. He knew that he was supposed to immediately ice his knee as soon as he got back to the hotel. "Mind to scoot over 'Rok? I need to prop my knee up."

"Sure thing," Brian answered and stood up from the bed. "Have the whole thing."

"If you say so," AJ said and slowly eased himself onto the bed. Taking two of the pillows, he placed them at the foot of the bed and propped his leg up, dropping the crutches to the floor.

"What are you going to do about the concert tonight then?" Howie asked AJ as Denise prepared an ice pack for her son.

"I don't know..." AJ shrugged, feeling a bit foolish that his injury was going to keep him from performing to his fullest potential for the next few days. "Can't very well dance...though I could try my luck at one-legged dancing."

"And then trip up your other knee? I don't think so," Howie chuckled.

"I was kidding."

"Knew that."

"I guess I'm gonna be in stationary mode tonight. Just singing, no dancing. Or I could try my luck at one-legged dancing with the assistance of a crutch?"

"See previous comment about tripping your knee up again."

"But I like to be creative..."

"We'll figure something out when we get to the arena. For now, let's not worry about that," Kevin spoke up. "Nick, turn the game off."

"No," Nick mumbled, biting down on his bottom lip as he punched at the buttons. He was no longer aware of what was going on in the room for he was too much engrossed in the stupid video game.

"Turn the game off now," Kevin repeated, raising his tone just a tad bit louder. It annoyed him how Nick could be so ignorant at times, and never knew how to be serious when he needed to be. This, of course, was one of those times.

"No, I'm busy with this one level."

"Save the game and turn it off."

"No."

"Stop being an embarrassment and turn the stupid game off."

"It's not stupid. It's high quality entertainment."

"Man, would you just listen to him for once?" Brian sighed as he reached over and switched the game consoul off before Nick had a chance to react. Brian shrugged and returned to his position as Nick pouted and dropped his controller.

"It's not like it will take you a long time to get to that level again," AJ laughed as he waved to his mom who was walking out the door. Denise knew that this therapy session was only for the Boys as part of the group therapy. Jeanie had already spoken to her and suggested it would also be a good idea for her, AJ, and Jeanie to hold somewhat of therapy session between the three of them and that would be taking place in the next day or so.

"That's not the point!" Nick argued and crossed his arms over his chest.

Kevin looked at Nick oddly, then looked to Jeanie. "Think you could take on another patient? Our dear brother Nickolas may have some mental issues that you need to diagnose."

"Hey!" Nick growled.

"I don't know..." Jeanie trailed, studying Nick carefully. "He may be beyond the means of help..."

"Now that's just harsh..."

"I think maybe he needs to be shipped off to a mental institution," AJ suggested playfully, wincing as he re-adjusted the icepack on his knee.

"You need to be shipped off to a mental institution!" Nick shot back, not paying attention to the way his tone sounded when the words slipped from his mouth. Immediately he became quiet as Kevin shot him an icy glare and AJ just looked away.

"Sibling rivalry. We're just one big happy family!" Brian tried to joke to lighten up the mood. He let loose of a nervous laugh.

"Don't be afraid to hold anything back during this time, as this is a group therapy session," Jeanie replied reassuringly. "You all do understand what this is all about right?"

"Do we get one of those little inflatable bats that we can hit each other over the head with if we disagree with what the person says?" Nick and Brian piped up at the same time. They fell silent and just looked at each other oddly with eyebrows raised.

"I'm sorry, but no. This isn't marriage counseling. Unless any of you are married to one another, then I didn't think there was any use. And that isn't my area anyway."

"Damn. So what are we supposed to hit each other over the head with?"

"Your fist?"

"You hit me, Frack, and I'll have Kev open a can of "Whoop Ass" on ya," Brian immediately said when he saw the look pass over Nick's face.

"Damn," Nick repeated.

"Don't let them give you the wrong impression of us. We all like to tease each other and what not," Kevin mentioned.

"So you guys must be really close?" Jeanie asked.

"Very close indeed. Who wouldn't be after spending almost 24/7 of the past nine years together?"

"You become close like brothers," Jeanie nodded.

"Yeah, like blood brothers. Only difference, we're not related outside our music."

"Well then, you must have your pet peeves about one another?"

"Like you wouldn't imagine," Howie chuckled, resting back in his seat. The others nodded their heads in agreement and Jeanie looked on in amusement. "Where would you like us to begin?"

"Wherever seems reasonable."

"Well, let's start in alphabetical order," AJ said, eying Brian. "B'Rokster here has some major issues. I mean, the guy can be one of the biggest slobs you've ever met, besides his best buddy Nick. He also has this mental issue with arguing with his wife over who loves the other more, and man, that stuff can just get annoying. I mean, dude, y'all love each other the same. Get over it! Next, my best bud D. Let's not even go there-"

"Watch it amigo!" Howie glared playfully.

"Just kidding," AJ grinned. "But Sweet D here, you don't want to be anywhere near him when he's asleep, because man oh man can he snore sometimes!"

"That's not true!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"That there is one of my biggest pet peeves about them two," Brian spoke, motioning to the two that were nit-picking at each other. "They'll argue like that over the little things-"

"You ain't got no room to start talking cuz!" Kevin laughed, "'Cause you and Nick do the same thing!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"See, the arguing thing runs in their family," Nick laughed. "I'm about the only sane one out of the bunch-"

"Are not!" AJ, Brian, Howie, and Kevin all chorused in unison.

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

"Well, I see where this is all going," Jeanie giggled. "I'd have to say that the arguing thing runs in the 'Backstreet Family'. Agree?"

Five voices replied, "Does not!"

"Alrighty then," Jeanie cleared her throat, re-adjusting in her seat. She looked at all five pairs of eyes looking at her with comical expressions and she realized just how close these five men actually were to one another. They truly were like a group of brothers, and if one didn't know better, they would figure they were related. They might as well be. They seem to fight like they were. "I guess we've had enough of sharing pet peeves with one another. I have a feeling if we take that subject any further, it might turn into a bloody mess."

"We could always wait and see and then place some bets?" Kevin suggested, knowing that it had become somewhat of an untraditional tradition in the group. They were always placing bets on who would be going down.

"Sorry. Blood and gore aren't my things. I have a weak stomach when it comes to those things," Jeanie answered.

"I hear ya on that one," AJ agreed, motioning to himself.

"If you all don't mind, I would like to start the session now."

"Sure."

"No problem."

AJ felt his mind grow a bit fuzzy and cloud over as his thoughts drifted away with him. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't very well pay much attention to what was going on and what was being said. Quite ironic too, since this was all about him. His knee was becoming numb from the coldness of the icepack resting atop it, but he could really care less about that. AJ had other things on his mind that were of more importance to him.

Jameelah.

What he was going to do about that situation, AJ had no clue. He was afraid to pick up the phone and try to call her, even though it had almost been a day since he'd last spoken to her. But would calling her be the smartest thing to do? AJ just didn't want to jepordize the situation more then it already was jepordized.

"AJ?"

"Hmmm?" AJ murmured, looking up to find everyone's gaze locked on him. His face was masked with an unsure glance.

"There's some things you want to talk to the guys about," Jeanie prompted.

"T-there is?"

"Yes."

"What was it again?"

"It was what you told me about last night, about how you've been feeling."

"Oh...yeah..."AJ trailed, avoiding the fellas' stares. He had alot of things he wanted and needed to say, things he hadn't had the courage to say up until then. It was true that he had discussed his feelings with Jeanie the night before during the therapy session, and she made him see that it was ok for him to speak what was on his mind. He thought he was ready to say what he'd been thinking... But now, catching sight of the fellas' patient and awaiting stares, he wasn't so sure anymore. With the pressure baring down on him, he was afraid of what the fellas would think, what they would say.

"Say whatever you need to say, Aje. We're listening," Kevin spoke.

"Yeah. We're doing this because we want to know what's going on in your head," Howie nodded.

AJ let out a silent sigh, nodding himself. "Alright," he whispered.

*****

Could therapy have gone any worse today? In my opinion...no. It was horrible. For me, that is. By the time it was over I was ready to just bolt from the room, had my knee permitted me to do so. But nope, stupid AJ decided to be a smartass and screw his knee up during rehersal yesterday. Just another one of my many, endless mistakes. Oh well, the doc said I only have to stay off it for a few days at the most. Now, if only the throbbing and pain would stop everytime I put the littlest bit of pressure on it. Ok, I know...so I need to use the damn crutches the doc gave me. That's what they're there for...but damnit, I don't like looking like or being called a gimp! It just ain't cool. Back to today's therapy session though...

I swear to God that out of all of them, Kevin has got to hate me for real now. Maybe I said a bit much today, but hey, I was told to let it all out. Freedom of speech right? That would be the first amendment if I'm correct. I didn't mean to offend him by any means, but I really think that's what I succeeded in doing. I think I can even go so far as to say that I hurt his feelings to some extent. Maybe this is because I had alot more to rag about that dealt with him then the others. The way he just sat there the whole time I talked, not speaking a word, still gives me the shivers. I think the fellas were a bit surprised with all I had to say also. But it really affected Kevin more then I had anticipated. I mean, he didn't speak a word the entire time. Then when I was finally finished, he apologized in a quiet voice, bit down on his bottom lip, and bowed his head in silence. I've never known silence to be so deadly in such times. But it sure was right then. Now I feel horrible...completely and utterly horrible to say the least. I didn't mean to rag on Kevin so badly, that wasn't my purpose. I just wanted him to know how he'd been treating me so shitty lately. Maybe I went a little overboard...

So now, I don't know what to do about that. Kevin immediately left his hotel room as soon as the session was done and has been avoiding me since. I tried to talk to him as we were getting onto the bus to head to the arena, but he turned his back on me and retreated to his bunk where he stayed the entire time. Man, have I screwed up again... I'm not even going to bother asking 'Why me?' because I know I won't ever get an answer. I was born to screw up...might as well get over it.

Speaking of the therapy session, it seems my best friend has got the hots for my therapist. I guess it doesn't really bother me all that much. It's quite ironic though, especially the way he's going about it. He tries not to be obvious, but like we've always told D, he's not the best liar. Though I'm not sure Jeanie has caught on yet, to the fullest that is. Ah, but D deserves this chance. It's been a while since he broke up with his last girlfriend. This has to be the perfect opportunity for him... Of course...let him start getting the luck right when I've managed to screw up another one of my relationships.

Damn Jaymee and her issues. I don't even know what her problem is, but according to her, I'm a jerk and she doesn't want anything to do with me. How I know this? Well, she's hung up on me three times in the past two days and she bluntly told me never to call her again before she hung up the third time. So now I'm contemplating whether or not I want to give her a call. Does she even deserve another call from me? I mean, she wouldn't give me a damn simple explanation as to what the Hell I've done to piss her off. And truthfully, I really have no clue. If I did, I would at least be able to try and fix whatever it was I did. But nope, I feel as if I'm having a blonde moment...

As much as I want to say "Screw her! I don't care!"...I can't, because this is something I can't lie about. The truth is, I care very much. It's wierd, if I really think about it, but I'm hurt, and I'm not talking about my knee injury either. I mean, I've been through this type of thing before with past relationships, but back then I could say "Screw her!" and then just forget about the person.

With Jaymee, it's just...well...different, I guess. I can't really explain it, but I care for Jaymee. Despite the fact that I've only known her for two weeks. As corny as it may sound, I don't think I've ever felt this way about another girl like I feel about Jaymee. It's wierd, but it's the truth. Ever since I met her, I haven't been able to stop thinking about her and I'm dying to see her again. That's why I know I can't let this go. I would be stupid to just drop the situation and not call her back like she told me to. I barely know Jaymee and I miss her as if I've known her my whole life. It's wierd that I care about her that much...I don't understand it...

So damnit, what the Hell have I done wrong this time?!

Well, I've gotta cut this short now. I'm currently backstage at the arena and it's nearing show time. This ought to be an interesting night (me performing on crutches)! Anyway, the backstage area just keeps getting busier and more crowded and with only several minutes to go before we have to go on, I'm thinking I'm gonna go see if I can find Kevin and have a word with him.

Try to make ammends...'

~From the journal of AJ McLean

*****

AJ grunted out in discomfort as he hobbled down a back hallway in the arena with the aid of his crutches. He'd been on crutches before, but he'd yet to get used to ever using the things. "Stupid, stupid..." he muttered, keeping his eyes trained on the ground. The quicker he got to where he was going, the better off his arm pits would be.

"Hey Aje!"

Looking up, AJ noticed Brian walking towards him, that same friendly smile plastered on his face. AJ tried to offer a smile back, but he was feeling a bit uncomfortable around the guys ever since the therapy session that morning. He shrugged off the feeling and finally replied with a hoarse, "Hi."

"Where you heading off to? It's almost showtime. We have-" Brian looked at his watch in a thoughtful manner. "Ten minutes. You trying to ditch?" he joked, grinning comically.

"No. Actually, I was looking for Kev," AJ replied, glancing off to the side, then looking back at Brian. "You know where I can find him? I need to talk to him."

"Um, yeah. He's in the dressing room talking to Kristin on his cellphone," Brian answered, pointing behind him with his thumb. "I'm sure he'll be done talking to her in a minute. You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." AJ shrugged as he paused. "I just need to talk to him before the show starts."

"Alright. Head on back to the dressing room. That's where you'll find him." Brian patted AJ on the back and jogged off, hyping himself up even more for the concert. He was most likely going to see where Nick had run off to, which wasn't surprising. Frick & Frack were always running around backstage like chickens with their heads cut off before each concert.

AJ took a deep breath and continued hobbling down the hall. He payed no attention as he passed one of the arena's security guards and turned a corner. There were a few doors lining each side of the grey wall and up ahead, AJ recognized the one that had been dubbed as their dressing room. From a ways away, he could see that the door wasn't fully shut, rather it was cracked open and light was filtering out from inside. 'Here goes nothing' AJ thought as he inched closer to the door. Getting ever the more closer, he could begin to hear Kevin's voice filtering out through the crack between the doorway and the frame.

He froze.

"I don't know what to do Kris..." AJ could hear Kevin saying and he immediately recognized the distress in his oldest "brother's" voice. AJ leaned towards the door and peaked through the crack. He could make out Kevin's form sitting in a chair near one of the mirrors, his back towards the door and unaware that AJ had begun to listen in. AJ's eyebrows furled as he continued to stand there.

"I feel horrible," Kevin continued, his voice quiet and waivering the tiniest bit. "I had no idea I was treating him that badly. I really had no clue he felt that way...I mean, geez...I just feel really horrible."

Kevin fell silent as he was obviously listening to whatever Kristin's reply was. AJ caught a side glimpse of Kevin's face and could see that his facial features were contorted into a look of pain and sadness. "No..." Kevin spoke up again, nearly making AJ jump and drop one of his crutches. "I haven't talked to him since. I'm afraid to, Kris." Kevin ran a hand through his hair and sighed, closing his eyes. "I really think he hates me," he said quietly.

AJ's eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open in surprise. Kevin thought he hated him? Ok, so that was far from the truth and now AJ felt worse then before. He knew Kevin didn't deserve to be feeling this amount of guilt. All AJ had wanted to do was to just let him know how he'd been feeling lately, but he'd done way more then that. 'Am I an asshole or what?' He frowned at his thought and at Kevin's words. He had some real major apologizing to do now, but how was he supposed to do that when Kevin was afraid to even talk to him anymore?

'Well AJ, you screwed up again...'

"I gotta go Kris, it's almost showtime... Yeah, I'll give you a call when I get back to the hotel... Thanks... Uh-huh... I love you too, baby... Bye." Kevin slowly and unwillingly lowered the cellphone from his ear and switched it off, effortlessly tossing it into his duffle bag. A small sigh escaped his lips as he sunk down in his chair, resting a hand on his forehead.

AJ saw this as his opportunity and he cleared his throat, tapping the door lightly with one of his crutches. He paused as he watched Kevin jump in his seat and shoot his vision towards the door. Seeing AJ standing in the doorway, Kevin's facial expressions dropped even further and he nervously looked at his rebel brother. Seeing that Kevin wasn't going to offer him a greeting, AJ hobbled into the room. "Hey Kev," he spoke, biting down on his bottom lip.

"H-how long were you standing there?" Kevin stuttered, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants.

"I, uh...just now," AJ lied, not wanting to hint to Kevin that he had heard part of Kevin's phone conversation. "I was just coming to tell you that it's almost show time and we're about to do the group prayer."

"Ok, thanks," Kevin quickly answered. It was obvious he was trying to cut the conversation off as fast as he could.

"Listen, Kev-"

"What? What'd I do this time?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to-"

"Well then, what are you still standing there for?"

AJ just looked at Kevin oddly. Kevin really didn't want to speak to him right then. He felt his eyebrows furl even further as he continued to look at his oldest brother, suddenly not knowing what to say. "I just wanted to make sure you were coming," he finally drawled.

"I'll be there in a sec."

"Alright," AJ shrugged and turned around to leave. So much for that going well.

All he wanted to do was say he was sorry.