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Chapter 8: Having to Leave

He let the cold water gather in his un-damamaged hand for the third time and brought it up to splash it in his face. The droplets of cool liquid rolled off his skin like rain was falling from above and he looked up to stare at his reflection in the mirror.

A pair of unrecognizable dark eyes stared back at him, with dark - almost bruised-like - bags hanging beneath them. His usually tan skin was leaning towards a rosy-colored side, more or less blotchy than his personal liking could handle. All he could do for a moment was just stare at the stranger reflected in the mirror.

He felt ashamed at the thought that he could barely recognize himself. His stupidity had succeeded in screwing his life over once again and drug him right back down to where he had been for so many years. He had vowed to never return to such a disgraceful state of being, because he knew how much it hurt himself to act in such a way, but he'd broken that vow last night.

"You almost done in there?" Howie's voice called out after a gentle knocking had broken his distressed train of thought.

"Yeah..." His voice came out hoarse as he didn't bother to look at the door as he answered his friend. He felt the burning sensation in his throat as he nearly uttered that one word. His throat was raw from heaving so badly a half an hour earlier, and his stomach was still punishing him for his actions from the night before. Every move he made felt like it would cause him to throw up at any given second. He wanted to just crawl into bed and throw the covers over his body so he couldn't be seen. But that wasn't possible.

As soon as he had emerged from the bathroom several long minutes after rushing in there to get sick, Howie was quick to remind him to get a shower taken and to be ready to get on the bus within the next half hour. He wasn't thrilled about the anticipation of the long bus ride they had ahead of them, but he was looking forward to climbing into his designated bunk and not emerging until their next destination.

He wondered how possible it would be to accomplish such a task?

"Hurry up Aje...we need to head down to the lobby," Howie called out to him again. He almost sounded impatient and AJ wasn't surprised. His best friend hated being late to anything, and if anyone caused him to be late, then it just agitated the crap out of his friend.

'Hold your damn horses!' his mind growled as he took one last look at his reflection before slipping on a pair of dark-plated shades. At least he could successfully mask one part of his misery, which was a good thing too, for he knew there would defenitely be a hoard of fans to see them off that morning.

Reaching for the handle on the bathroom door, he twisted it and pushed the door open, nearly slamming it directly into Howie and catching the latino totally off-guard.

"Ready?" Howie asked, heading over to the door. Next to his own back pack on the floor in the open doorway (AJ was baffled at how Howie could be so organized to be able to bring only one small bag with him into the hotel), he had AJ's duffel bag waiting.

AJ was grateful at that moment for the fact that his friend had packed his stuff for him. He never would have been able to complete the task on his own. "Thanks for getting my stuff together for me," he mumbled, leaning down to grab ahold of his duffel and hoist it over his shoulder.

Howie only shrugged in response as he reached for his own bag. "Let's go," he told AJ shortly and began heading down the hall towards the elevator.

AJ was almost surprised to think he heard a hint of anger in his best friend's voice, but the shock quickly diminished as his mind ran away with him. His friend had every right to be mad at him, he realized. After what he had done the night before, he almost expected Howie to be mad.

The two men stepped into the elevator and Howie pressed the illuminated button for the lobby floor as AJ shrank against the elevator wall. He didn't utter a word, nor did he sigh a breath. It caused AJ to become paranoid and he finally spoke up after not being able to stand his friend's silence any longer.

"So, I guess you hate me too, huh?" The words came out of his mouth before he could even so much as think about what he was saying. He could tell his friend was taken aback by his choice of words.

"Why would you say I hate you?" Howie asked, turning to give him a questioning glare.

AJ winced from behind his sunglasses. "Because you seem like it," he shrugged, not knowing what else to say to that.

"Well I don't," Howie replied, turning away from AJ again. He crossed his arms over his chest and rested his back against the wall. His eyes were trained on the metal door, almost begging with them silently to open.

"Then you sure have a funny way of showing that you don't hate me," AJ told him. "I know for a fact that you're pissed off at me, and D, don't lie, because you're the worst liar ever. If you're pissed, then that's fine, because you have every right to be pissed off. I screwed up and succeeded in pissing three people off. Hell, knowing my luck, Nick is probably pissed off at me about something. I'll deal with it, but don't go about trying to act like you aren't pissed because that's when it starts to hurt. Damn, I need a Tyenol."

Upon hearing his friend say that last little bit, he let a chuckle escape his lips and he turned to look at him. AJ was resting his left hand against his forehead and grimacing; Howie softened. Rolling his eyes, he reached into his back pack and took out the tiny travel case of Tyenol and a small bottle of water. He handed it to AJ who gracefully excepted his offerings. "Listen Aje, I don't hate you, because for one, you are my best friend and I won't ever stoop as low as to actually hating you. I will admit that, yes, I was pissed at you for what you did and I still am, but that does not mean I hate you." He then reached over and pressed the "emergency stop" button and the elevator came to a sudden stop.

AJ swallowed down two Tyenols with a chug of water and handed the bottle back to his friend. "But I know Brian and Kevin do," he spoke quietly, looking down to the floor.

"Again, I'd be safe betting you that they are extremely pissed off with your actions, but they don't hate you. Brian's expressions speak louder then his words and the way he reacted last night was only out of being protective over his big cousin. Kevin on the other hand, well, he's a little harder to guess."

"Ain't that the truth."

"You want to know why he was mad at you last night to begin with?"

"Because I skipped the meeting."

"Yeah, but that's not the only reason why."

"Because I skipped the meeting to hang out with Jaymee?"

"No."

"Fine D, why?"

"Because he's worried about you."

"What-"

"He's worried about you, just like the rest of us are, because, lately, you have started to become so distant again. It's like sometimes we don't even know you anymore, again, and that hurts Kevin, because he loves you like a brother, just like we all do. He's just trying to look out for you and he doesn't want to see you get hurt."

"Nice sentimental talk D. You been working on that?" AJ asked, trying to break the tension that he could feel building in the tiny space.

Howie glared at his best friend. "Can you ever be serious? I swear, you and Nick act the same at times."

"Sorry..."

"So listen, I'm not suggesting that as soon as we're all on the bus, you go and talk to Kev. Give it a while and try talking to him. Suck up your ego and apologize. You'll only regain his respect by doing that. Same goes with Brian."

"Dude, I wouldn't be surprised if Brian has his Bible out right now and is trying to damn me to the depths of Hell for how I acted last night. 'Thou hath disrespecteth my cousin and shall livith the rest of eternity in the firey depths of Hell!' He would do that D, I swear to it."

Again, Howie rolled his eyes. "You scare me sometimes, Aje."

"I try..."

"So does Nick."

"We all try to scare you, D."

"I feel so loved."

"You should."

"Ya know," Howie spoke up after a short moment of silence, "Don't feel like you're alone. I'm in the dog house with Kev, too."

"Why's that?"

"Because I lied for you and as we all know I'm 'not the best liar', so he's pissed at me about that."

"But it was my fault."

"Kev's not gonna care about that," Howie chuckled and sighed, pushing the "lobby" button and the elevator started up again.

"Sorry about all of that," AJ replied.

"Like I said, I don't hate you."

Several seconds later, the elevator came to a stop on it's own and 'ding'ed before the metal doors slid open. As soon as they had began to slide open, mass hysteria filled AJ and Howie's ears and the two of them peeked out to see the entire lobby swarming with fans. After nearly a minute of searching, they could barely make out the three figures of Brian, Kevin, and Nick in the sea of people. That's when they were spotted and a swarm of fans changed direction and came charging at them. AJ felt his head spin for an unknown reason, and was about to step back into the elevator to escape, but his and Howie's bodyguards, Jeff and Scott, were suddenly at their sides and began to lead them through the sea.

AJ's mind was reeling as Jeff created a path through the crowd of fans and lead him through. He wanted to stop to talk and sign a few autographs, but by the way Jeff was rushing him along, he knew they were already running late. Howie was already out the lobby doors now, much to the dissappointment of all the fans, and AJ looked around to find Brian, Kevin, and Nick being led away by their body guards.

Just as Kevin was being escorted by a short girl around the age of thirteen, she cried out, "How did you get hurt?"

AJ was relieved to hear Kevin answer, "Never walk around in the dark in a room you are not familiar with!", but it made him wince to see Kevin acting as if nothing was wrong. He could see past the mask Kevin was wearing and he knew Kevin was deeply angry. Then AJ saw Brian looking over in his direction and as soon as their two gazes locked, Brian's expression turned so evil that AJ nearly gasped and quickly looked away. AJ was about ready to think that Brian was more angry with him then Kevin was, and he looked away in shame.

AJ didn't say a word, nor did he even look up at the fans as Jeff escorted him out the lobby doors where their tour bus was parked out front. He felt awful about ignoring the fans, but he was ready and needed to get out of the lobby. The screaming wasn't doing any good for his pounding headache. Ahead of him, he saw Nick to be the last one to climb on the bus, his blonde friend turning around to wave at the fans one last time. AJ rolled his eyes, Nick was purposely acting goofy at the moment as he energeticly hopped onto the bus.

Hell, if it's entertainment to the fans, so be it then.

He had just reached the bus's door and was about to climb on when, above all the shouting of the fans calling out to him, he heard a specific voice yelling his name and he forced himself to stop, straining his ears to listen harder.

"Alex!"

Jeff was becoming impatient as AJ began to stall and he pushed him forward a bit. "C'mon AJ, ya gotta get on the bus. Stop stalling!"

"But I heard my name being called!" AJ argued as he fought against Jeff's resistance.

"Yeah, it's being called by tons of screaming girls. You'd be deaf NOT to hear your name being called! Now get on the bus!"

"Alex!"

"You don't understand! I destinctly hear someone calling my name! Someone I know!"

"It's called the fans, AJ! You need to get going now!"

Jeff continued to push AJ onto the bus and AJ continued to strain his ears to listen. He knew who that voice belonged to and she was the one person he wanted to see more than anyone before they left, but Jeff wasn't letting him stall any longer.

"Alex!"

"Damnit Jeff, stop!" AJ leaned all of his wait into Jeff forcefully, causing his bodyguard to stumble away from him. He turned around to look over the sea of fans in hopes that he would actually see her and that he was not imagining her voice.

And he did see her.

She was trying to push her way through the crowd, desperately trying to get over to the bus before it pulled away. "Alex!" she yelled out again as she tried to get past two girls who were blocking her.

"Jaymee!" AJ yelled back as he hopped off the bus steps and hurried past Jeff. His mind whirled as he rushed over to her, not being able to believe that she was actually there. Despite the fact that the fans clawed merciously at him as he hurried past them, he was able to reach Jameelah and he immediately took hold of her hand and began to drag her into the hotel.

Once inside, AJ and Jameelah were faced with another obstacle of escaping the wrath of all the fans that were still inside, but it wasn't that hard to get away this time. He immediately lead Jameelah over to the elevator and the two of them stepped inside. As soon as the doors were shut, AJ pushed the "emergecy stop" button.

"Um...wow?" Jameelah gasped as she tried to catch her breath.

"What are you doing here, Jaymee?" AJ asked, his face breaking out into a truthful grin as he took off his shades, not even thinking about it.

"Thanks for the formal greeting," Jameelah teased. "I came to see you off."

"But how did you know when we would be leaving?" AJ asked in amazement.

"Let's just say I have my ways," Jameelah replied, studying his eyes.

Becoming uneasy at how Jameelah was just staring at him, he raised an eyebrow. "What? I got a booger hanging out of my nose or something?"

"No, your eyes are bloodshot. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Alex, I can tell it's not 'nothing'. What happened?"

AJ shrugged. He couldn't tell her what had happened between him and Kevin the night before and how he had drank himself to the point of no remembrance of the event. "I just didn't sleep well I guess," he finally answered, shrugging again.

"Oh..."

"Why did you come to see me off?"

"Well, for one, I couldn't let you leave without saying goodbye, but two, I wanted to make sure everything was ok after I left last night. I'm sorry I didn't stay, but Kevin didn't seem very happy and I didn't feel I had the right to be here."

AJ grimaced at the mention of Kevin's name. "Yeah, he wasn't very happy."

"Was everything ok though?"

AJ hesitated before saying, "Yeah, we argued a bit, but nothing else happened." He spoke half the truth with those words.

"So everything is ok between the two of you?"

"Yeah," AJ lied as he brought his right hand up to scratch his temple unconciously.

"Omg Alex, what happened to your hand!?" Jameelah screeched as she saw the white bandage.

AJ immediately tried to hide his hand, but Jameelah took a hold of it and studied it. "It's nothing Jaymee," he tried to tell her, "just an accident."

"What happened to it?" The concern in Jameelah's voice made AJ's heart melt as she gingerly held his injured hand in both of her's.

"I..." AJ bit down on his bottom lip. "I dropped a glass in the bathroom last night and when I went to clean up the broken glass, I cut my hand by accident, so I had to go to the ER and get stitches."

"Oh gosh..." Jameelah winced.

"It's no problem. It didn't hurt."

"I'd think it would."

"I'm a big boy and big boys don't cry."

Jameelah laughed as AJ offered her an impish grin.

"I'm really glad I got to see you again before I left," AJ spoke up after niether of them had spoken a word for several second. It was at that moment that he felt all of his pain wash away. He was amazed how she could do that for him, and she didn't even know it.

"I am too," Jameelah replied, sounding like she were in a daze. "I didn't think I was going to make it."

"I'm glad you did."

"Where are you heading next?"

"I'm not sure, and at the moment, I really don't care."

"What's wrong?" Jameelah frowned.

"I guess I just don't want to leave," AJ shrugged and he leaned against the elevator wall. He watched as Jameelah gave him a questioning look. "Fine, I'm gonna miss you."

"You barely even know me and you're going to miss me?"

"Is that a crime?"

"No, I just think it's cute."

"Well, people always tell me I cute, hot, sexy, anything else you can think of," AJ teased and Jameelah smacked his arm. "Hey!"

"Ya know, it seems wierd, but I'm really going to miss you too."

"Come on tour with me."

"What?"

AJ nodded. "Come on tour with me."

"Alex, I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Like I said, I barely know you, and two, don't you think that's a little too sudden?"

"You're right, I'm sorry," AJ shrugged and frowned.

"You have my number so you can call me."

"You know I will do that."

"AJ!"

"Ah shit," AJ grumbled as he heard the pounding on the elevator doors. He immediately knew it was his bodyguard, Jeff.

"Time to leave, huh?" Jameelah asked, as AJ reached for the "open doors" button.

"Unfortunately," AJ answered. "Thanks for coming to see me again, Jaymee." As he pushed the button, AJ leaned in for a quick kiss on Jameelah's cheek, then walked straight past Jeff once the doors had opened, quickly making his way outside and not caring that the fans were calling out to him.

"I'm going to miss you, Alex," Jameelah found herself whispering as she watched him walk off.