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Just yesterday morning
They let me know you were gone
Suzanne, the plans they made
Put an end to you
I woke up this morning
And I wrote down this song
I just can’t remember who to send it to


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With tears running down his face, Brian sat in the chair, holding the familiar picture in his hands. His mind was jumbled with numerous confused thoughts, but his heart was beating only one thing over and over again. She was gone now, forever, and his life would never be the same.

He realized how wrong it was for him to be feeling this way, but that just caused the tears to fall with even more vigor. Leighanne, his fiancé, was downstairs, most likely worrying herself to death about what could possibly be wrong with him. He never liked it when she worried so much about him, but this time he supposed she had every right to be doing just that. She had no clue what was going on with him, nor did anyone else.

Just yesterday morning, when he’d received the news of Annie’s death, the initial shock hadn’t been too overwhelming for him, and he’d forced himself into automatic pilot in order to complete the day’s activities with the group. He’d been able to continue the same façade all day today, but tonight, as soon as he’d returned home, it hit him. It was while he was in the shower, and by the time he was out of the bathroom he was too emotional to even communicate to Leigh.

That’s how it had been for the past few hours. He hadn’t spoken to anyone yet, simply because he didn’t know who to talk to, let alone what to say. There was part of him that was sure nobody would understand what he was feeling, and there was part of him who didn’t want anyone to know. There was no way they would understand, he told himself. There just wasn’t any way.

That lone thought continued to run through Brian’s head as he lay back on his bed, suddenly feeling exhausted. As his eyes closed, the pain in his heart didn’t stop, and a fresh set of tears spilled through his closed eyelids.

***

Leighanne walked into the bedroom she shared with her fiancé and found him fast asleep on their bed, even though the sun hadn’t even set yet. He was clutching a wrinkled picture in his hands, so as quietly as she could she slipped it from his hands and covered him with a blanket, not wanting to disturb his slumber. She could tell from his tear stained face that he had most likely been crying all night, although from what she still wasn’t sure.

Yesterday he’d returned home in a strange mood, and it had just worsened today. He wasn’t talking to anyone, not even Nick or Kevin or any of the group members for that matter. Even when she had called his parents in an attempt to find out what they knew, she received the same answer. They were just as clueless as everyone else was, which just frustrated Leighanne even more.

Brian had never acted like this, shutting himself in the bedroom and crying himself to sleep. He was always the one who wore his heart on his sleeve, anxious to talk to her about anything that was bothering him.

Leighanne was as confused as she had ever been, but tried to ignore the pain in her heart. She loved Brian with everything she had, and it was killing her that he was hurting so bad and wouldn’t talk to her about it, but she loved him too much to push him. He would talk when he was ready, and until then she had to be patient and supportive.

Remembering the picture he’d been clutching, she picked it up and turned it over, revealing a moment that must have been captured many years ago, judging by the appearance of Brian and the girl he was with. It was a common pose, Brian standing next to a girl with his arm around her shoulders while she hugged his torso, her cheek pressed into his shoulder. They both had huge smiles on their faces, and a pang of jealousy shot through Leighanne.

She didn’t recognize the girl in the picture with Brian, and while she tried to keep herself from jumping to conclusions, she knew it was no use until her fiancé gave her answers. She thought she knew him well, seeing as how they were engaged to be married, but maybe she had been wrong. The frightening feeling that Brian was keeping something from her nearly rocked Leighanne to tears, but she swallowed them back as she placed the picture on the night table next to him.

If he didn’t want to tell her what was wrong, then she wouldn’t push him. She could only pray that he would come to her sooner than later.