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Downtime - Chapter 22
The next day Nick was feeling much better. A good night sleep had done him good and the medication he got pumped into his system helped him cope with the pain he still felt in his stomach. For the first time since he was admitted he actually had the strength to sit up for a while watching TV, which would have been totally unthinkable yesterday. The doctors were very pleased with his rapid progress and if he kept this up he would be out by next week.

The news got Nick all happy since he spent all of his Thanksgiving vacation being sick and now when he was starting to feel better he would soon be back at work. He would be singing, dancing and touring like nothing had happened at all. No rest what so ever. However that wasn’t the entire truth since Johnny had called him and told him that he would get a couple of weeks off so that he would recover faster. When Jackie had heard this she offered him to stay with them until he was feeling better and ready to go back home.

But he had declined the offer. Even though he knew that he should be happy that they wanted him to stay he still felt sad. He missed home but most of all he missed his own family and the fact that they were not here for him disturbed him more than he wanted to admit. There was not a reason that he could think of or accept for why they weren’t there for him when he had been this sick. When he’d asked Jackie if his mom had called she had gotten something sad in her eyes and started talking about something else. Nick hoped, no prayed, that the reason for them not being here for him was not because they felt it was too important to support his little brothers career.

Picking up the remote controller Nick changed the channels. He was bored out of his mind and wished he had at least some of his videogames to kill time with. His stomach still hurt with every move he made and he felt a bit bloated like he’d swallowed a whole balloon. This was kind of embarrassing and when he’d took on the courage to ask the nurse about this, she had told him that it was perfectly normal and that he would have an upset stomach for a while. When they had done the surgery they had pumped him full of air and this was the after effects he was feeling. Dizziness was something else that accompanied him and walking was totally out of the question since it felt like he would topple over at any moment. In other words Nick was still feeling totally miserable.

Oprah blasted out from the television and he watched it disinterested. Her shows had never been high on his list and he only watched talk shows like this if he was totally bored, had nothing else to do or was cooped up sick in bed. Private life was important to him and he could never understand how people could spill their own lives on national television. Being in the Backstreet Boys he had enough of that since ever nosy reporter wanted to know more about his life and he had never liked talking about his family to strangers. It was his private life and that was the way he wanted to keep it, besides what would the media say if they found out that his parents weren’t there with him when he was this sick? In the Media’s eyes the Carters were the All American happy family and he could only hope that the reporters never found out the truth about how “supportive” his family really was. For now this was a secret that he only shared with the Littrell’s as well as the guys and management and he hoped it would stay that way.

The door suddenly opened and his doctor came into the room. “Hi Nick.” A nod was all Nick returned. “I’m so pleased to see that you’re doing so much better.” He gushed as he walked up to the sick teen’s bed. “How are you feeling today?”

“Better I guess.” Nick wasn’t feeling very talkative which was no surprise since he was both in pain physically as well as mentally.

“That’s good,” the doctor mumbled as he checked his chart. “I see that your temperature has gone down a bit which is good since that means that the infection is on the rebound. And it says here that you had a good night’s rest,” he looked up at the teen, “Is that so?”

“Mmm.”

“Ok.” The doctor went on with the reading. “You respond very well to the antibiotics and like I said before if you keep up this good progress in the same way as you do now I don’t see why you couldn’t be released in the beginning of next week.”

That was some great news.

“However Nick I see here that you complained of discomfort in your stomach. That you feel bloated and like nurse Caroline told you that is very common for someone that has had this kind of surgery. You have a gas build-up and if you don’t feel better by the end of the day I will administer some medication so that you can release the gas.”

Nick blushed. His face as red as an overcooked lobster but he was grateful that neither of the guys had been in the room to witness this embarrassing conversation. As if things were not bad enough the doctor asked, “Have you had any bowel movements yet Nickolas?”

“Gulp!” He thought he would swallow his tongue. Man this was so embarrassing. “Eh..uh,” he stuttered while he felt like his face was on fire. The doctor smiled friendly at him.

“There is no need to feel embarrassed. This is something perfectly natural and it’s important for you to tell me if you have done this.” He looked his patient in the eyes. “So have you done that yet Nickolas?”

The teen shook his head, feeling very uncomfortable talking about such private matters. Being a male he often joked about stuff like that with the rest of the guys but this was different. This time it was more clinical, more like an inquisition.

“Ok.” The doctor put down the chart. “There is no need to worry since I am sure that it will come when it’s time.” Upon noticing how uncomfortable his patient looked he quickly changed the topic. “Nick I would like to feel your stomach to make sure that everything heals like it should.” He paused while warming his hands. “I will also check on your incisions.”

Feeling like he had no power to say no, Nick nodded mutely when his doctor lifted up his hospital gown only to reveal a swollen stomach with a compression down below. “This might feel a bit uncomfortable,” the doctor warned. “But I’ll try to be as fast as I can.” Before the blonde had any chance to object he pressed down on the stomach as gently as he could but it didn’t help; it hurt.

“Ouch!” Nick yelped.

The doctor frowned at his patient’s reaction. “Did that hurt?”

“A little,” Nick confessed while biting his lip. He desperately wished that it hadn’t but it did and now he felt so sore.” Suddenly a disturbing thought popped up inside his head. What if everything wasn’t like it should? He opened his mouth to ask what the doctor thought it was when the older man asked, “Does it hurt when I press here?” He prodded on a different area.

“Not really.” The teen suddenly burped from the pressure he felt which resulted in even more blushing.

The doctor chuckled. “Let that one out boy and I’m sure that you will feel much better in no time.” Then he said in a more serious tone, “I will press a bit harder now Nickolas and I want you to tell me if it hurts and in that case which number you think it would be on a scale from 1 to 10.”

Nick didn’t like being a guinea pig but he guessed he had no option. The doctor prodded and pushed and luckily it didn’t hurt all that bad. Until he hit one spot. Nick’s reaction was to nearly jump out of the bed and the doctor got a worried glance in his eyes.

“Does it hurt that bad when I press there?” the older man asked with a frown and then prodded on the sore area.”

“Mmmm..Yeahhh.” Nick bit his lip so hard that it bled. Noticing the doctor’s worried expression he asked, “Is it bad?”

“Hopefully not, but I don’t want to take any chances so I will go ahead and order some tests for you and..”

Nick interrupted him with a yelp. “More tests? I thought you said that I was doing pretty well.”

“You are,” the doctor said but he could see that it wasn’t the entire truth. “It’s important to rule out anything that might delay your already remarkable recovery and don’t you worry,” he patted the teen’s hand, “It’s usually nothing.”

“Will it hurt?” Nick hated tests but guessed he had no choice but to take them.

The older man smiled. “No Nick I promise you that it won’t hurt besides it’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through these past days.”

“That’s a relief.” The teen muttered sarcastically. He really hated doctors and hospitals.

“I will now listen to your bowel movements, try and relax and breathe in and out slowly.” The doctor said as he placed the cold device on Nick’s stomach. When he was done with his examination he said, “ “Everything sounds just fine Nickolas, however you shouldn’t feel as much discomfort as you do when I press down on your stomach and therefore I will administer those tests that I was talking about earlier just to make sure that everything is as fine as we think that it is.”

“Ok.” Nick didn’t feel reassured at all and at that very moment he felt so lonely that he could cry. He really wanted Brian and Kevin and the Littrells with him but mostly he wanted, no correction he needed his own family.

The doctor must have been something of a mind reader since he asked, “Nickolas have you gotten a hold of your parents yet?”

“No.” Not that he had tried either since the pain in his stomach had prevented him from doing any stressful moves.

“I think that it would be a good idea for you to try and call them. I’m sure that they are very worried by now and that as soon as they can they will come and see you.”

“Yeah probably.” Nick hadn’t told the doctor that his parents probably didn’t care that he was sick and therefore they hadn’t showed up. Instead he’d made up a story that they had been delayed even though he hadn’t talked with them ever since he got sick. “Maybe.”

“Not maybe,” the doctor said firmly. “You’re too young Nickolas to be on your own in a situation like this and..”

The young teen interrupted him. “I’m not alone. I have the guys and the Littrells and…”

“Yes I know that, they are such a great support for you but what you need right now is your parents Nickolas, so therefore, I think you should call them. I will have a nurse send in the phone for you.” Before his young patient had a chance to object he went on, “You should try and get some rest and I will be in to check on your later on today. For now bye and,” he paused at the door, “And make that call you need it.”

“Sure.” As soon as the doctor left, Nick let out his breath. The more he pondered over his situation the more miserable he felt. . Lonely and sad. His parents hadn’t even bothered to call him even though he knew that the last days he’d been in no condition to talk on any phone at all. He’d been busy enough to try and stay alive. With a sigh he made up his decision. He would not call them even if it ached in his heart to do so. They had let him down and he would show them that he was strong enough without them.

God knows he had so much baggage. In the beginning of him touring with the guys his mom had been there for him, but then they had decided to work with Aaron too and now all their energy was going to his little brother. He couldn’t help to feel a tad jealous over this. And if they hadn’t decided to ditch him and go to Germany instead they would be there for him now. And he wouldn’t be here alone in a hospital so far from home.

His eyes were starting to get heavy and when he’d relaxed long enough to get some rest the door opened and a young nurse came into his room.

“Hello Nickolas,” she said with a big smile. “I’m coming to deliver you the phone that you asked for earlier.” She sounded much too cheerful for his mood and all he wanted to do was for her to leave the room.

“What does a person have to do to get some sleep here?” he muttered.

Ignoring that last comment the nurse placed a telephone on his bed stand. “Here is what you asked for.”

“I didn’t ask about any phone.”

“Your doctor said you did.”

“He lied.” Nick sulked. “You can take it back. I don’t want it.”

But the nurse made no such move to do so. Instead she smiled at him. “I’ll leave it here in case you change your mind.”

“I won’t.” When he saw that she had no intention of taking the phone with her he muttered, “Whatever.” The minute she had left the room he stared at the phone. Should he or should he not call his parents? He wanted so desperately to hear their voices at the same as he wasn’t sure that they wanted to hear his.

Then a sudden thought popped up in his mind. What if they didn’t know that he was in a hospital? What if Jackie hadn’t been able to reach them? What if something had happened to them? His heart started to beat faster and suddenly he felt that he just had to hear his mom’s voice. He needed to find out that they were all right. With that in mind he picked up the phone dialing the numbers for a long distance call. “Can I get an overseas call please? A collect call…Yes to Germany.” He had a hard time talking and he was starting to run out of energy.

There were several signals and just when he was about to hang up he heard his mother’s voice on the other line.

“Jane Carter here speaking.”

“Mom!” Nick called out with a tone mixed with happiness, sadness and confusion. His voice was filled with pain, both physically and emotionally. He didn’t have a chance to say anything more since the operator cut in asking if the receiver would accept the collect call. Soon he heard his mother’s voice again. “Mom is that you?

“Oh Nicky my baby,” His mother said, her own tone filled with emotions. “Baby how are you feeling?”

Feeling like it was ages since he’d spoken to her, Nick felt that he had to bite back the tears that were threatening to spill over. He missed his mom so much that it hurt even though the pent up feelings of anger and disappointment were making themselves heard. Trying to maintain his calm composure he whispered with a shaky voice, “Why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you come to be with me?” He knew that his tone was accusatory but he had to know. “Mom don’t you know that I’m in the hospital? They have taken my appendix out.”

“Oh sweetie I know but..”

But? What did she mean by but? Anger flared up inside him. What was she doing? Was she trying to find an excuse for not coming? “You stood me up. You didn’t come when I needed you the most.” A violent shiver cut through his body and he didn’t know if it was from the fever or for the fact that there were so many emotions pulling him apart.

“Honey you’ve got to understand.” His mother was doing her best to explain the situation to him. “We haven’t forgotten you baby...It’s much more complicated than that.”

“What’s more complicated then you not wanting to be with me?” Nick was getting tired all of a sudden.

“It’s not that way honey. We love you and you know it.”

He snorted. “Bah.”

“Nick you have to listen to me.” Her voice had a hint of desperation now. “We couldn’t go because of Lou and...” Jane started to tell Nick how much they had wanted to go but that Lou and the management told them that if they left, Aaron’s career would be over. They would disappoint the fans and there was no excuse for such a thing especially when you were trying to make it in the music industry. It was on that term that they had made their decision not to go back to the states, not wanting to jeopardize Aaron’s future. But it had not been an easy thing to do.

Once his mother was done telling her side of the story Nick mumbled with tears in his throat, “I don’t believe you.” This was not the explanation that he had wanted instead it would have felt so much better if she had told him that their were no tickets or that all the planes were cancelled due to bad weather. Not something like this, not that they had to choose which child to support.

“It’s the truth Nicky.” His mother was crying now.

“Don’t call me Nicky.” His tone was hostile. “You don’t care about me so why bother trying to find a reason for not seeing me?” Tears were close now.

“But honey we do want to see you,” his mother started when Nick cut her off.

“Did you know that I got an infection and nearly died?” His tone was cold. There was a yelp from the other side as if she just heard that information or that it was too terrible for her to sink in.

“Don’t say it like that Nickolas.”

“But it’s the truth. While you were with Aaron at his concert I was battling for my life.” Nick swallowed hard like it was strength just to talk. “His success is more important than me!” He screamed to his mother that maybe it was just as good if he was dead since she didn’t care about him anyways. Never before had he felt so lonely and sad. It was like the whole world was against him. Tears were rolling down his face and the pain in his stomach kept getting worse by the minute. It was like all his feelings were trapped in that pain. All feelings of being lonely and left out.

“Honey don’t you see I couldn’t go I...”

He interrupted her again. “I don’t care. You’ve always chosen my siblings when it came down to the point. To you I’m nothing but a pay check.” His tone was cold and the more he said the words the more he realised that they were true.

Jane had panic in her voice, “Honey we will be there for you. Just you wait. We’ll come. We’ll take the first plane and we will come and see you. Don’t worry.” Something in his words must have changed her mind since she was sounding close to panic. The last words he heard before she hung up the phone on him was, “Darling mommy has to go for now but I will come for you. Just you wait and see.”

Suddenly all the pent up feelings he’d held for a long time erupted like a volcano inside him. He started to cry so desperately that it felt like he was about to burst. Strangely the more he cried the more the pain lessened in his stomach and soon he found himself lying down on the bed, sobbing over his own miserable life. It was in that position that the guys found him hours later.

Authors note; Thank you so much for the editing Mare. I really appreaciate it :)