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Chapter 111:

Nastasia slipped into her dreams as soon as she got home from dancing. Her body was completely worn out from all the dancing, even though she refused to admit it. But soon she found herself back in her old home, sitting at the worn kitchen table.

She looked around at the whole setting and felt herself grow completely miserable. She didn't want to be there, she wanted to be any place but there. Suddenly she heard the back fire of her father's truck as it pulled into the driveway.

Nastasia jumped at the sound of the truck. She glanced frantically at the clock, seven. She looked around, dishes weren't done. The place was a mess. She felt her heart leap from her chest.

The front door opened and slammed shut as her father walked in and she could hear him walking through the house.

" Where are you girl?! " her father shouted with a slur.

Nastasia felt her voice disappear as she listened to the uneven footsteps in the house. She knew he was drunk again. She prayed he wouldn't come into the kitchen.

" I said where are you girl?! " her father shouted again, his anger burning in his words.

"Right...uh...here Daddy!" Nastasia squeaked.

She winced as the footsteps pounded down the hallway towards the kitchen and her heart beat faster. She knew she was in for it, and she dreaded the second her father reached the kitchen.

"Oh don't daddy, don't come..." Nastasia whispered as she crouched in a nearby corner. She shut her eyes tightly and began to pray.

" Where the hell did you go girl?! " her father shouted as he stopped in the doorway and peared in, not seeing her.

Nastasia held her breath, hoping he'd just pass. She didn't want to answer, she didn't want to get hurt.

" You better answer me girl! "

'Go away, go away, go away.' Nastasia pleaded, she felt a sob burn in her chest.

" Get your ass out here now! "

"Sorry Daddy, I...I...I..." Nastasia stumbled as she felt her father pound on the old worn table. She jumped up like lightening, shaking with fear.

" How dare you ignore me when I'm talking to you girl! " her father spat hatefully. " You disrespectful bitch! "

"I heard...you Daddy...I was picking up something..." Nastasia stammered.

" Liar! "

"N-No..."

" You are a liar and I hate liars! "

"Where's mom?" Nastasia asked quickly, hoping she could change her father's mind.

" Don't change the fucking subject you little bitch! " he father continued to roar. Nastasia was completely frightened. She began to fear for her life.

"I'm sorry D-D-Daddy." Nastasia answered softly, praying that she could be somewhere else but there at the moment.

" The hell you are! Why aren't the dishes done?! "

"I don't know..."

" You lazy little bitch! "

"I'm so sorry!"

" You are not! " he roared, slapping his hand across her face forcefully.

Nastasia went flying backwards from his hand. She felt her cheek start to sting with an intense flame. "Please stop..."

" Don't talk back to me girl! " he yelled, smacking her again as her mother appeared in the kitchen doorway.

"Mommy..." Nastasia whispered as she placed a trembling finger up to her nose, she felt the trickle of blood.

Nastasia's mother made a move to rush over to her daughter but her father pushed her away.

" Leave the girl alone! She's getting what she deserves! "

"Please stop Joe." Her mother begged.

" Shut up! " Joe shouted, throwing a slap towards Nastasia's mother.

"Joe, this is horrible." Nastasia's mother whispered as she backed up quickly. She looked at Nastasia and bowed her head down.

" Daddy...please..." Nastasia whispered, the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"You shut up now!" Joe roared once more as he gave Nastasia a swift kick.

" DAMNIT Joe! Stop it! " Nastasia's mother shouted angrily.

Nastasia watched in horror as her father turned around to face her mother.

"You get in that room NOW!" Joe yelled as he pointed his finger towards their bedroom. Nastasia's mother hesitated.

" Daddy! Don't do anything! " Nastasia screamed, instantly regretting it.

"I'm tired of your mouth too! Respect me damnit!" He yelled once more as he jumped instantly on Nastasia, hitting her with every ounce of his might. Making Nastasia scream with pain.

" GET OFF HER JOE! " Nastasia barely heard her mother scream. Then she saw her pull her father off her and Nastasia knew things were going to get nasty. She backed up until she was on her feet watching in horror at what was going on. Her face felt like it was on fire as the tears stung it. She spun around and ran out of the kitchen, bounding out the front door, her father's voice shouting after her. She was getting out and she wasn't coming back, she knew her life depended on it.

*****

"Stop it! Stop! It! MOMMA! DON'T! DADDY STOP!" Nastasia screamed at the top of her lungs, Howie was jarred from his peaceful sleep. He looked up and saw his wife thrashing about wildly as she cried.

" Baby! Calm down! STAZZIE! STOP! " Howie called out as he placed numb hands onto her thrashing arms, she began to fight him.

"Leave me alone! DON'T TOUCH ME! DADDY LEAVE HER ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Nastasia screamed as she pushed him away. Howie looked extremely confused as she fought him harder.

" STAZZIE! STOP IT BABY! " Howie started shouting, his heart racing as he held a tighter grip on her, trying to get her to wake up.

"What?!" Nastasia screamed once more as her eyes snapped open. Her heart pounded with an intense rhythm as tears welled in her eyes.

" What was going on? Stazzie, what is wrong? " Howie questioned, his confusion showing in his sleep filled eyes.

"N-Nothing..." Nastasia sobbed as tears fell more freely. She couldn't place it, but something was wrong. Something deep inside her was terribly wrong.

" Don't give me that, " Howie answered, pulling her shaking body into his arms.

"It was horrifying..." Nastasia sobbed as she wrapped her arms around Howie's neck, hoping he could stop her shaking. She only wanted comfort.

" What was? " Howie soothed, holding her tight with his good arm as she leaned against him.

"My dream... I just wish it'd all go away Howie..." Nastasia sniffled.

" I don't know what you're talking about...wish what would all go away? "

"Him...Them...Something just doesn't feel right Howie..." Nastasia answered, confusing Howie even worse.

" Who? "

"What time is it Howie?" Nastasia answered as she brought a trembling hand through her mass of blonde hair. She felt like the air had been crushed from her lungs.

" Nastasia, who? "

"Who's who?"

" You said something didn't feel right, you said him, who is him? "

"My dad." Nastasia answered as she lowered her eyes to the floor in the darkness.

" You're dad? " Howie questioned, she had never spoken much of her father or her mother.

" I don't wanna talk about it. What time is it? "

"Staz, you can't sit there and wake up bawling...Then tell me you don't want to talk about it." Howie urged quietly.

" It was just a dream... "

"Everything is just a dream. I just want you to be okay Stazzie. I do care about you."

" I know you do... "

"Then why won't you let me in your heart?" Howie asked her softly.

" What? "

"There's this whole other person inside of you Nastasia. And I'm never allowed to see her. I'm not even allowed to see the real you..."

" Howie- "

"Why can't you open up Nastasia?" Howie asked again, leaving Nastasia speechless. She didn't know he had ever felt this way before...

" But I have- "

"Not really Stazzie. You never say a thing about your past? I don't know a thing about your past. I only know what you and I have..."

" Because my is past is the past, it's not important... "

"It is important when you wake up crying every night. Why can't you understand I love you and want to help you?"

" I do understand that you love me, and I love you too. But why is my past such a big deal to you? There's nothing you or I can do to change it, " Nastasia answered softly. She cringed at the thought of her nightmare. It had been exactly replay of the day she had left home and went to live with A.J. It was the worst day of her life.

" Maybe it's a big deal because I know nothing about it, " Howie said, laying back down. He sighed as he layed his casted arm across his chest.

Nastasia gulped down her tears and layed her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he stroked her hair.

" Howie, I just...I don't want to bring it up. Please understand that. All I had was a nightmare, nothing more. It's nothing to worry about. "

" Are you sure you're ok? " Howie asked, snuggling close to her.

" Yes, I'm fine, " Nastasia smiled, even though Howie couldn't see it through the dark, but deep in her heart, she wasn't fine, something felt terribly wrong to her, wether she wanted to face it or not.